


It's Destiny, My Dear Jedi

by Ceillean



Series: Kyp & Eliziya [2]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Angst, Drama & Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-28
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 01:05:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 46
Words: 103,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16295360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ceillean/pseuds/Ceillean
Summary: The Story begins at a wedding. Jag and Jaina's wedding. And while everyone is enjoying the party, something is amiss.Eliziya, Kyp Durron's partner in life, must face fears and dangers she's never imagined. Why? Because of Kyp's past deeds. Can the love they have for one another get them through this?





	1. Part 1 - The Wedding

There are times in life when you sit back and close your eyes and ask yourself: what the kriff am I doing?

Would it not have been perfect if the answer had come flying through the nearest window to hit you upside the head? I began contemplating my life – past as well as present – while I should have indeed been enjoying myself.

Because that’s what you do at weddings, right? You feel happy for the bride and groom, you gush over how beautiful the bride looks, how scrumptious her husband-to-be looks in his new black suit and you gasp in awe at all the delicious food set up on a buffet table near the dance floor. And let’s not forget all the pretty decorations and the guests in their fancy clothes with big bright smiles on their faces, and the enormous – if not completely ridiculous – amounts of colorful flowers from halfway across the galaxy.

And since this wedding is _the_ wedding of the century, we mustn’t forget the media with their cameras and little spy droids and big-mouthed journalists hounding the Crystal Palace.

It’s the perfect day for the bride and groom. It’s their time to officially and openly declare their undying and endless love for one another.

I find all this pompous nonsense horrifyingly exhausting. Not because weddings tend to be stressful and loud and at times even a bit obnoxious and over the top but because I have to _pretend_ that I am indeed enjoying myself.

I’m good at pretending.

*

 “Do you think she’ll be able to breathe if you tie her up any tighter?” I asked with raised brows, watching as Tenel Ka laced the back of Jaina’s white gown with a little grunt. The corset even squeaked a bit. “You do understand that she still has to walk down the aisle.”

“Of course. And she will be perfectly fine.”

“Easy for you to say.” Jaina leaned forward a little, bracing her hands against the wall as Tenel manhandled her gown. “You’re not the one who’s suddenly missing a lung.”

Tenel smiled slightly and I noted a twinkle in her green eyes. “I dress like this on a daily basis. I never complain.”

“Stuff like this is in your job description.” Jaina said between clenched teeth.

“You will live.”

Tenel stepped back and gestured for Jaina to turn around. Granted, the Empress-to-be looked astonishing. For a moment there, all I could do was stare at her utter beauty. This wasn’t the Jaina I knew – this was a girly Jaina with twinkling, crystal jewelry and dark hair elaborately styled with matching hair pins and she wore discreet make-up that brought out her hazel eyes. For the first time I could actually _see_ the Empress and not the grease monkey I had met all those years ago.

“You’re beautiful.” I whispered with a little smile on my face.

“Indeed.” Tenel agreed softly. “Truly beautiful.”

“Will you two stop it?” Jaina said quietly but I could tell that she was on the brink of tears. Common at weddings, I was told beforehand.

“Wait until your mother sees you fully dressed like this.”

“Don’t remind –“ Jaina stopped in mid sentence and shifted to turn towards the door on the other side of the dressing room. It was as big as my apartment, befitting her royal status. Yet even though the dressing room was so amazingly large, it was also amazingly _empty_. A sitting circle underneath an enormous window, a large dressing table with an oval mirror with bright white lights attached to the frame; a clothes rack and a few boxes with shoes and not to forget a small dresser packed with glittering, twinkling and shimmering jewels to decorate the body. In fact, it was so much that I wondered how much this stuff was worth. Going by how tight security was at the Crystal Palace, no doubt Jaina’s gown alone cost more than a fortune. Much, much more.

“Someone get the door!” Jaina hissed, suddenly back to the young woman we all knew and loved.

I frowned. “What do you mean –“

“Jag’s coming!”

It took a few seconds for her sentence to make sense. Jag wasn’t allowed to see Jaina before the wedding. Bad luck and all that and I remember Jaina telling Jag as much but it seemed the stubborn man hadn’t listened or didn’t care.

“ _Do not_ let him see me!” Jaina hurried to hide behind the clothes rack, pulling the thing along until she was comfortably settled in a flush chair in the corner. Tenel helped to make her seem invisible by standing in front of her with her arms crossed. By the look in her face you could tell that the woman meant business and anyone in their right mind would do well to leave her alone.

Which left me to deal with Jagged Fel.

I wandered to the door and touched the locking mechanism. There was a faint click and the door spiraled open. Jag stood there with a bewildered expression on his handsome face, his hand already raised to touch the buzzer.

“You can’t be here.” I said with a frown. “You know it’s bad luck to see the bride before the wedding.”

“I don’t believe in superstitions.”

He made to pass by me but I held my ground, shaking my head. “No, Jag. She’ll kill me if I let you in.”

There was no doubting the small smile that suddenly hovered at the corners of his mouth. As strict and orderly as this man could be, he could also be quite the ass. And I believed he enjoyed these times when he could irritate people just for the hell of it.

“Liz, I want to see her.”

“And you will. Be patient.” I placed a hand on his chest and gave him a gentle push. “Now leave.”

“No. I have –“

“Go away!” I shouted at him and the surprised look in his eyes as I raised my voice made me giggle. “I think the two of you have had enough bad luck in your lives so far, don’t you agree? I mean with wars and death and destruction and whatever else has made your life miserable.” I didn’t even let him get a word in edgewise. “And what if these superstitions are true? Do you really want to risk your happiness just because you’re curious? Come on, Jag. You’re a grown man. You should know better.” I winked at him, stepped back and closed the door.

“He is extraordinarily stubborn.” Tenel Ka commented quietly. Jaina heaved a sigh of relief, slouched in the chair looking positively drained. And to think, the wedding hadn’t even started yet.

“Tell me about.”

The door chime sounded through the dressing room, a beautiful little melody floating throughout the open space. I pursed my lips. “By the Force, he can’t take no for an answer, can he?” I said slowly, fighting a smile.

It was very cute, honestly. Here was a grown man not allowed to see his love because of a silly superstition someone came up with millennia ago and no one actually knew why.

I turned back to the door and unlocked it, already choosing the words to shoo him away when I realized that it wasn’t Jag at all.

“Oh. It’s you.” I said quietly, smiling like a little shy girl. I felt myself blushing as I stepped aside to let Kyp in. He looked marvelous. It was like looking at my personal prince out of an ancient fairy tale; he wore a black frock suit that looked like it had been made for him alone, he’d pulled his dark hair back and fastened it at the nape of his neck and, as usual, a few strands fell into his face. “Did Jag send you to spy on us?”

He hesitated with his answer and I noted how he smirked, rather than smiled. “You look beautiful.” He said in a low tone, so low that I had to strain to hear. I felt my cheeks grow hot while he eyed me from head to toe, feeling a bit self conscious all of a sudden. In all the time I’ve known Kyp, I’ve only worn a fancy dress _twice_.

Admittedly, the gown was beautiful. It was a deep jade color, strapless and tight around the chest yet flowing around the legs. Surprisingly, I felt very comfortable looking like a lady. My hair was even bound up in a fashionable style and I wore jewelry, which is a big thing for me.

I am _far_ from being a lady.

“Thank you.” I whispered, clearing my throat.

Kyp leaned forward and placed a small, delicate kiss on my cheek. “I just wanted to say hello.” He said a moment later and he winked at me. I took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. “And yes, Jag did send me in to spy on you.”

“Don’t you dare tell him anything!” Jaina called from her hiding spot in the chair. I glanced over my shoulder – Tenel Ka still had her arms crossed over her chest yet she seemed amused by this entire spying situation.

Kyp chuckled. “Don’t worry. I won’t.” He turned his attention back to me and as much as I enjoyed it, it made me feel vulnerable somehow. Naked in a way that made me feel uncomfortable. Gowns and me don’t go well together, I decided then and there. I would have loved to trade in the dress against a pair of loose fitting pants and a shirt anytime.

“You do look stunning, sweetheart.” He reached up and caressed my cheek with his fingers and it was all I could do not to melt. I didn’t let it show of course but no doubt he felt my emotions whirling through the Force like a tidal wave. Of all the people I’ve met in the course of my life, he’s the only one who manages to fluster me, he’s the only one who can make me shut up in a heartbeat – and he’s the only one who I allow to _really_ argue with me. Which usually turns out to be much fun, even if a bit loud at times.

“I’ll see you in a bit.” Kyp leaned forward and kissed me, a short yet sensual kiss. It was all I could do not to giggle like a teenager in love.

After he left, and after I took a few breaths to calm myself, I turned back towards Tenel Ka and Jaina. The bride stood in front of the window, a bright white light cascading into the room and enveloping her in a beautiful glow.

This was her special day and she definitely looked her part.

“Just a while longer and you’ll be Empress Fel.” I said quietly, awed at the mere prospect at how Jaina’s life would change from here on out.

Jaina took a deep breath and nodded curtly, the thin, silver collier around her slender neck twinkling with her movement. “Yeah. And honestly?” She looked at us in turn and the happiness was evident in her smile, in her eyes, in the way she held herself. “I can hardly wait.” 


	2. Chapter 2

I stood at the window, gazing down towards the quiet sea that surrounded the Crystal Palace. It was a marvelous view, nothing that I have ever seen before in all my travels around the galaxy. Sea creatures bobbed along the quiet surface, their songs drifting out to those willing to hear it. The Palace stood alone within the sea, the lower levels completely engulfed by turquoise water. You could watch as small and large sea dwelling creatures swam through the thickness of the currents and when the sun’s beams shot down towards the lower levels, their colorful scales glowed with such splendor that it took your breath away.

Among other things, it was times like these that made life so worthwhile.

Distantly I heard the door to the dressing room hiss open and I turned around to witness a beaming Jysella Horn enter with a holocam in her hand. Behind her, Tahiri Veila and Anja Gallandro were laughing with one another – I picked up a few bits and pieces of conversation and smiled when I heard the name _Anakin_ a few times. Tahiri and the young Solo boy were quite the couple. You could see from afar the way they felt for one another, you just had to look in their eyes and everything you needed to know was right there.

“We need a picture, Jaina.” Jysella said, holding up the holocam for the bride to see. “The last picture with you and your bridesmaids before you’re married off to Jag.”

“You are one lucky woman.” Anja said with a grin on her pretty face. She was one of those mischievous types, a woman who knew not when to be quiet, which usually got her into a boat load of trouble. And she didn’t care. “Have you seen his butt in that suit? I’m telling you… _wow_.”

“Anja!” Tahiri squealed, barely containing her laughter.

Jaina shrugged it off. “Wow is an understatement, dearest Anja. I would know.” She sighed dramatically, batting her eyelashes. “I get to squeeze his backside on a daily basis.” She winked at Anja with a devastating grin, which earned her a chorus of laughs from all of us.

We gathered together in the center of the dressing room, making sure Jaina stood in the middle. Jysella, standing on Jaina’s left, held the holocamera up and used the Force to levitate it, pushing it forward. “Okay.” She said, smiling from one ear to the other. “To Jaina. And to happy memories.”

I felt a light tap in the Force and a moment later there was a short flash of bright white light. We stood transfixed as our pictures were taken, sudden silence enveloping us as each of us dealt with private thoughts.

It was the sound of sniffing that brought me back to the present.

All of us glanced to the door where Leia Organa Solo suddenly stood, her smile so bright it practically lit up the entire room.  “You look beautiful. All of you look so beautiful.” She whispered, opening her arms for her only daughter. Jaina shuffled towards her mother, one hand holding on to the skirts of her lovely gown before she threw her arms around her mothers’ neck.

I turned away then. It was their personal private moment and it felt wrong to watch them. They were family and although I had become a close friend over the years, I felt it wasn’t my place to invade their special moment.

While Jysella placed the holocamera on the dressing table, Tahiri and Anja went back to their conversations about a few of the good looking young men they had already spotted walking the halls of the Palace. Anja was like that – always on the lookout for fresh meat.

“Are you coming along?”

I turned towards the kind voice and smiled as Tenel Ka approached me. She was a tall woman, built like the warrior she was, so unlike the Queen she needed to be for her people. “A drink on the bride before the ceremony begins.”

I caught the grin on Anja’s face. “My idea. I saw someone downstairs I’d like to say hello to. Blue skin, red eyes.” She actually wiggled her eyebrows.

I couldn’t help but laugh. “I’ll meet you there in a few minutes.”

Weddings were always the time to be a bit more emotional than usual so staying behind alone for a while wasn’t the most unusual thing. And I was glad for the silence once the girls left the dressing room. I needed quietness to sort through the whirling thoughts in my mind.

Taking a deep breath I walked back towards the window, gazing across the vast field of a turquoise sea. I would say that at that very moment, life was perfect.

There was happiness all around me, palpable joy and love. Disagreements were set aside, quarrels forgotten.  No one in their right mind would dare ruin this perfect day.

But life wasn’t always this blissful. At times I had wondered if I would even live long enough to see the sun set one last time.

The war had taken a great deal from me and still I went on, fighting against the urge to simply give up. I was too stubborn to run headlong into the knife, so to speak. I wanted to go on, I wanted to live because the fire of hope I held within me never went out.

Before the war began, I was a social worker. Born a Force sensitive, it’s quite the advantage when young children have the need to speak with you but are afraid to tell the truth. It’s almost impossible to lie to me. But as the war waged on, as more people needed a shoulder to cry on, I was afraid of losing myself.

The things I heard, the things I imagined these people had to go through…

To this day I have nightmares.

On one of those nights, years ago back on Denon, I woke up screaming and drenched in sweat. I decided to go for a long walk. Run away from my dreams, that’s what I wanted to do. It wasn’t the first time and it wouldn’t be the last.

Denon used to be a lovely planet, similar to Coruscant but not as crowded. The war changed all that of course. In every dark corner I could see beings scuttling about. Families of all sorts trying to keep warm against the cold as they huddled together near open fires; make-shift shelters along the main market avenue, aiding those who couldn’t afford a warm meal or a place to sleep. It was a devastating sight and while I walked I wondered why? What was the sense in all this madness, all this hurt?

I tried not to look into the eyes of the beings who watched me because I knew I would see the feelings there that I tried to bury as deep as I could.

I turned a corner into a narrow alley. There was trash scattered about the ground and ahead I saw an old blinking hologram sign above an open door. Half the sign was inactive; I couldn’t make out the name of the tapcafé but going by the sounds and the smells, the audience was what you would expect in a place like this.

Slowly I walked in and wrinkled my nose at the stuffiness of the place. There weren’t many patrons, maybe a handful of people. The loudest were those sitting around a Sabbacc table. They laughed together loudly up until one of them caught another cheating. Their laughter died and was replaced by vulgar expletives that made me chuckle. Strangely, it was places like this that made me feel whole for a little while. Whatever that means.

“Can I get you something?” I turned towards the bartender, a beautiful Zeltron woman. I felt extraordinarily small and ugly all of a sudden. She smiled at me and no doubt all things male bowed down before her without her having to even think about using her pheromones on them. But she seemed nice so I smiled at her and gave her a nod. “Yeah. I could use a drink.”

“Or else you wouldn’t be here, right?”

I pulled out a stool and sat down, taking a deep breath as I gazed around the bar. I felt a strange tingling sensation along my spine and at first I couldn’t place it. A few seconds passed and I knew someone was watching me. Which didn’t surprise me, really. A young woman alone in an underground bar like this? It was unnerving.

“Anything you could recommend?” I asked the Zeltron, my eyes wandering back to the Sabbacc table.

“You look like a sweetheart. So something sweet for you.”

I laughed at her assessment of my person and watched as she whipped up something pink with thick white foam atop it. She presented it on the bar top with a wide grin that nearly made her beauty unbelievable.

Damn the Zeltrons.

“Pink Nebula. Enjoy.”

“Thank you.”

And still I felt like someone was watching me. I took a sip from the Pink Nebula and it _was_ sweet, undeniably so. It tasted like a mixture of berries crushed in with at least a ton of sugar and ice. I scanned the area again and that’s when I noted a figure sitting within the shadows. All the way in the back. Alone. And familiar.

Very familiar.

I took my glass and slid off the bar stool. The closer I got to the person in question, the more the feeling intensified of meeting someone I had once known. A close friend perhaps?

“You’re watching me.” I said quietly as I pulled out a chair and sat at the table opposite the stranger. I could barely recognize his face. This corner of the bar was too dark to recognize much at all. But it was his voice that triggered the memories.

And my heart nearly stopped.

“You’re worth watching.”

*

“Are you coming?”

Startled, I sucked in a breath and turned away from the view of the sea. I don’t know how long I stood there, simply thinking and remembering. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

I turned around to see Anja gesturing for me to hurry. “Come on. We only have a few more minutes before the ceremony starts. And you need to loosen up.”

I smiled at the younger woman and nodded. “I think you’re right. I could really use a Pink Nebula right about now.”

“You drink that stuff?” She asked with raised brows.

Side by side we walked down the halls of the Crystal Palace, heading towards a lift tube that would take us to the lower levels. “It’s an acquired taste.”

*

The quiet little bar was located in the lower levels of the Crystal Palace and it was one of those places that you would never forget. We sat underneath sea level – I felt like I was sitting in a live aquarium, watching as fish swam by forth and fro while I stared at them, completely engulfed by their quiet swimming motions.

It was such a beautiful place to be, unlike the murky smelly tapcafé where I had stumbled upon Kyp almost ten years earlier. Of all the places in the galaxy, I had never expected to meet the infamous Jedi Master in a place like this. Particularly not in a devastating state of complete and utter disarray.

I’d thought a lot about him, especially when the war first started. Thankfully, I’d never had to deal with the Vong up close and personal but watching news feeds had been enough to know that whoever fought them was most definitely putting their lives on the line.

I held the utmost respect for the people who battled these creatures, knowing the risks.

When Kyp leaned forward into the yellowy light from above, I was taken aback by his appearance. I remembered a young, handsome man with bright green mischievous eyes – here sat a _broken_ man. That was the only word I could think of.

Unkempt and unshaved, his clothes were wrinkly and tattered, his eyes seemed dim in contrast to what I remembered – all in all it looked like he had aged exponentially in only a matter of months, maybe even only weeks.

“What are you doing here?” He asked in a gravelly, husky voice. Unused, as if he hadn’t spoken in days.

I stared at him, dumbfounded. “I needed some air.” I said slowly, watching as he grabbed a half empty glass of whiskey and tipped back the last few drops with a quiet sigh. He closed his eyes as if reveling in the taste of the sharp liquid finding its way down his throat.

“You shouldn’t be out here on your own. There’s a lot of crazy folk around these days.”

“I can take care of myself.” I said in a low tone, nursing my drink carefully.

He smiled ever so slightly. “I know you can.”

“What are _you_ doing here?” I asked in return, noting how his expression was placid, how he sat as if he hadn’t a care in the world. He couldn’t fool me, though. It wasn’t like him to sit around in a rundown bar on his own, drinking who knew how much to forget his worries and problems. He had never been that kind of person, a person who didn’t fight back, a person who gave up and tried to find the answers to all his questions at the bottom of a bottle.

“Enjoying a drink.” He raised his hand and gestured towards the Zeltron bartender. I glanced over my shoulder, noting how she nodded with a beaming smile.

“How much have you had already?”

“Not enough.”

I really didn’t like where this was going. I frowned as the Zeltron woman approached us and placed a small glass, filled half way with more whiskey, on the table top. “Here you go, handsome.” She said in a cooing voice and I noted with a bit of chagrin how she touched his fingers. I shot her a dark look that all but said to leave us the hell alone but either she didn’t notice or didn’t care. “If there’s _anything_ else you might require—anything—, just let me know.”

The double entendre was not lost on me.

“We’re fine.” I snapped, smiling the smile of a woman about to break the Zeltron’s beautifully shaped nose.

She winked at me before turning on her heel and heading back to her work place. Kyp nursed his drink quietly; the sudden silence between us was unnerving.

“What’s happened to you?” I asked carefully, not knowing if I was treading on delicate ground or not. In hindsight I know it was an obviously stupid question to ask but I wanted to him to talk to me and if I had to ask more stupid questions…so be it.

His answer was a derisive snort, which I found extraordinarily irritating. “I don’t know, Liz.” He shrugged and leaned back into his seat, casting himself in shadows yet again. “Maybe the war?”

I’d seen this sort of behavior in my line of work countless times but never had I expected it to come from someone like a Jedi. A Jedi Master, at that. It showed me that no one was infallible, not even if you were a Force user – you were only human, only a living being, after all.

“Want to talk about it?”

I heard how he took a deep breath and no doubt he made a face. He grabbed his glass and drank everything at once before pushing away from the table and getting to his feet. “I don’t need a shrink.”

He was walking away from me and it triggered a deeply set fear all of sudden. I didn’t want him to go. Not again. Not like this.

He threw a few credcoins towards the Zeltron woman and smiled at her. She caught the credits and blew him a kiss, a fact that annoyed me so much I nearly shouted at her. I hurried to pay my drink – without a word, of course – and ran to catch up with Kyp.

The cool outside air hit me as if I had walked up against a duracrete wall. “Wait!” I called as Kyp rounded a corner, out of my sight. Wasn’t this a grand testimony that he didn’t want to talk to me…

But I could be just as stubborn so I followed him into the night.

*

I was brought back to the present by a delightful squeal from Anja. I hadn’t even noticed that she had sat down amongst a group of young men – two Humans and two Chiss –, all handsomely dressed in military uniforms. Here, Anja was the center of attention and she loved every minute of it but knowing her, she would forget the time and we’d be late for the wedding.

Hiding a mischievous smile, I stepped in to remind her.


	3. Chapter 3

“I cannot believe you did that!” Anja hissed at me while we walked the halls towards a small waiting room behind the grand ceremonial chamber. “Embarrassing isn’t even the right word, Liz!”

  
Anja had been on a rant since we left the quiet little bar in the lower levels.

  
I had noted that Anja favored one of the Chiss and I couldn’t blame her. Tall and muscular with strikingly blue skin, they were quite handsome but the glowing red eyes gave me the shivers. Whereas with humans you could see depths within the eyes, torrents of various feelings and emotions, with the Chiss there was only glowing red, like two hot suns staring right through you.

  
“You invited me to talk, Anja.”

  
“Yes, talk. Not embarrass the hell out of me. You told them I was a man-eater!”

  
I stifled a giggle and shrugged a bit sheepishly. “It broke the ice, didn’t it?”

  
“They laughed at me.”

  
“They laughed with you, sweetie. There’s a difference.”

  
Anja whirled around on me, wagging a finger in my direction. “I had an entrance planned, you know. You totally ruined my entrance.”

  
“Oh, Anja. You’re so adorable when you’re annoyed.”

  
“You owe me, Liz! I look beautiful today and one of those guys could I have been my date for the rest of the evening.”

  
I sighed exasperated, shaking my head at the younger woman. “They’re still here, Anja. You can hook up with them later on.”

  
It had been fun seeing Anja squirm a bit. Sometimes she got herself into situations that were a little too much for her to handle so defusing her I-can-get-anyone attitude did her some good now and then. She just didn’t realize it.

  
When we entered the small waiting room behind the ceremonial chamber, Jaina was pacing back and forth with her hands on her hips. It was an oval room with floral patterns on walls as well as on the carpeted floor. It was a hideous design, with a matching sofa and a low, antique table.

  
Jaina’s nervousness was obvious when Anja and I approached her.

  
“You should relax.” I said quietly, smiling in which I hoped was a reassuring way.

  
“I can’t relax. I’m a nervous wreck!”

  
“You were fine just a few minutes ago.” Anja commented, sitting down on the sofa and grabbing a holozine from the table.

  
“I was preoccupied just a few minutes ago.” Jaina snapped, rubbing at her forehead. “This waiting is driving me nuts.”

  
“Well, you could just kidnap Jag and leave.” I put in helpfully, smiling at the glare she shot my way. “You wouldn’t be nervous anymore.”

  
“Even though the thought is quite appealing, I’d have my mother to deal with. And Jag’s mom.”

  
“You should have just eloped.” Anja said quietly, paging through the holozine. “That’s what I would have done.”

  
Jaina sighed, closing dark eyes for just a moment. She took a deep breath and I felt how she gathered the Force about herself, like a thick blanket of calm. “We’d thought about it. But again, we would have to deal with our mothers’ and never underestimate a mothers’ wrath. Plus, the press would have had a field day.”

  
“And? Who cares about the press?” I asked quietly. I sure as hell wouldn’t care about the press. Let them write about what they wanted, let them talk about what they wanted. I had been down that road myself, having to read about how sick it was – yes, this is the word a particular news agency had used – that I was in a relationship with the Destroyer of Worlds, a mass murderer, a ticking time bomb, Skywalker’s crazed pet project.

  
It was the downside of having a life for the public eye to see. But you didn’t have to put up with everything a lot of these idiots threw at your feet. I didn’t envy Jaina her position at all. She’d been a public figure all her life but this would be different.

  
In less than an hour, she would be the Empress.

  
The door behind us slid aside silently and as we all turned, I noticed how Jaina had to fight her tears. Han Solo stood there, not sure whether to laugh or cry. The emotions on his face – the emotions I felt through the Force – were almost overwhelming. He looked dashing in the same black frock suit the other men wore, not as roguish and scoundrel-like the way he was portrayed in various holodramas all across the galaxy. Here stood a proud father about to say good-bye to his little girl.

  
I had to look away as I felt my throat tighten. This is what I hate about weddings. There was happiness all over the place, infectious even if you didn’t want to smile or laugh or cry – you didn’t have a choice in the matter.

  
“They’re waiting for you, sweetheart.” Han said, gently wiping away a silent tear from his daughters’ cheek. Jaina looked away and I noted how her lower lip quivered. It was taking all she had not to cry. Han seemed to notice as well because he didn’t hug her – I suspected that the moment anyone tried to show friendly affection, she would completely fall apart.

  
I turned away from them and walked into the hallway. The enormous door to the ceremonial chamber was still tightly shut and I breathed in deeply, trying to conceal my own nervousness. The bridesmaids were gathered together, talking in quiet tones. From behind us I heard the sound of heavy footsteps and turned just in time to see Jagged’s entourage approaching us. Jacen, the best man and Jaina’s brother, smiled brightly and I could almost feel his pride at the coming union. Zekk entered next with Anakin Solo at his side. I heard Cem Fel before I saw him. He was laughing good heartedly, a wonderful and warm sound that brought a smile to my face. Kyp walked beside him and I realized Cem was laughing at something Kyp had said.

  
Kyp’s lips lifted into a little smile when he saw me and when he approached, I smiled in return. “You dazzle me with your good looks, my dear Jedi.” I said with a raised brow when he stood before me.

  
“I do that a lot, don’t I?” He laughed at me, taking my hand in his and lifting it to his lips. He placed a soft, lingering kiss on my knuckles and I sighed, completely content for this moment to last forever.

  
“You have no idea.” I stepped closer, staring up into the green depths of his eyes. Goodness, what a perfect moment this could have been. If not for the fact that it was Jag’s and Jaina’s wedding.

  
“It’s almost time.” Tenel Ka called, ripping me out of my thoughts. She gestured for us to stand together in pairs in a line, each bridesmaid with a groomsman. I took a look over my shoulder and smiled at a little boy holding a large, red pillow in his hands – two golden rings twinkled as sunlight touched the surface. I recalled his name was Chance, Lando Calrissian’s son and the resemblance between the two was uncanny. Allana, Jacen and Tenel Ka’s daughter, stood next to Chance, all smiles and grins. She looked gorgeous in a little white dress and her red hair intricately styled in a traditional Hapan way.

  
“Ready?” Kyp asked in a low tone and I nodded, turning my attention to the still closed doors. It was an amazing feeling. We were all part of history in the making.

  
“I’m dressed in a fancy gown and my hair is all pretty and I’m wearing jewelry.” I took his arm and smiled broadly. “Hell yeah, I’m ready.”

  
*

  
It was one of those moments where you forgot to breathe. The ceremonial chamber, so large it was like looking into the sky instead of the ceiling, was packed with elegantly dressed people. Brightly colored gowns, some women wore funny hats, others had their hair twisted up in odd styles. Uniformed men stood at attention, others wore their different colored suits with pride. All of them had one thing in common, though. They were here for Jag and Jaina’s wedding, for the Emperor’s wedding and going by the smiles on their faces, all of them were happy for the couple. Even the few employees of the Coruscanti New Association who had been allowed to attend beamed with happy smiles.

There was a collective gasp as the people rose from their seats, as we made our way down the white carpeted aisle, slowly walking to a soft tune coming from hidden speakers along the tall white walls.

Jagged Fel stood next to Grand Master Skywalker, underneath an arch made from white roses, looking quite handsome in his black suit. The emotions he displayed in the Force told me that he was nervous but to keep up appearances, he stood completely at ease, completely calm with just the slightest of smiles on his face.

As the bridesmaids and groomsmen took their places in the front and we turned to face the guests, Lando Calrissian’s little boy waddled up the aisle carefully holding the red pillow with the golden rings atop it. I remembered a text I had read about the symbolic nature of the rings, their circular shape supposedly representing perfection and never-ending love.

In my opinion, Jag and Jaina were perfect for one another. I only hoped they would make it together through the turbulent times that awaited them.

The soft tunes of music suddenly stopped and all at once the entire chamber grew quiet. Every set of eyes stared at the open double doors of the chamber and I heard the audible intake of breath as they saw Jaina standing next to her father in her brilliant white gown. She looked beautiful.

It was like a queen was about to walk down the aisle.

The sudden onslaught of emotions in the air was breathtaking. I took a quick glance at Jag and smiled as I saw him subtly fidget. He held his hands in front of him, wringing his fingers as he stared at his wife-to-be. I thought I saw tears in his eyes but, of course, it could also have only been a trick of the light and I would never know because Jagged Fel would never admit having to deal with tears. Too stubborn of a man but he could never deny the emotions whirling about him, happiness with a touch of fear that I felt through the Force.

As another soft melody wafted through the chamber, I turned back to Jaina and Han. Really, it was amazing watching her walk next to her father, one hand gripping his arm as if her life depended on it, while holding her bouquet of flowers in the other hand. She met Jag’s gaze and not once did it waver.

And Jag, always one to control his feelings, wasn’t so much in control right now. I noted how he took a deep breath, how his smile grew with each step Jaina came closer. They were a match made by the Force, I swear.

When they arrived at the front of the chamber, Han placed a kiss on his daughters’ cheek and nodded towards Jag. It was the subtlest of gestures but it meant the world to Han. In that small gesture, he had let go of his daughter, he had given her into the hands of this young man, her future husband.

“Please, be seated.”

Master Skywalker’s soft and kind voice brought me back to the present and I noticed that Jaina had already passed her bouquet of flowers over to Tenel Ka. The guests shuffled about and sat down and once everything had quieted, Master Skywalker nodded and smiled at the bride and groom in turn.

“Jagged Fel and Jaina Solo, in presenting yourselves here today to be joined in marriage, you perform an act of faith.” He began slowly. “This faith can grow and develop and last, but only if you both decide to make it so. A lasting and growing love is not guaranteed by any ritual.”

The truth of the words rung clearly in my mind – absolutely nothing lasts forever. More than once I had been reminded of this fact, sometimes even painfully.

But, thankfully, there are always second chances.

“If you would have the foundation of your marriage be the devotion you have for one another, not just at this moment, but for all the days to come, then treasure the hopes and dreams that you bring here today. Establish that your love will never be blotted out by the common nor obscured by the ordinary in life. Faults will surface where now you find comfort, and admiration can be shattered by the routine of daily life.”

Everyone in the chamber was hooked to Master Skywalkers’ words, it seemed. Hundreds of people sat in one room and yet it was so quiet you would hear a needle fall.

“Dedication, love and joy can grow only when you nourish them together. Stand fast in that hope and confidence, having faith in your shared destiny just as strongly as you have faith in yourselves in one another today. Only with this spirit can you forge a union that will strengthen and endure all the days of your lives.”

Jag turned towards Jaina then and took both her hands into his. I imagined the entire guests held their breath because this was the moment, wasn’t it? The moment the entire galaxy was waiting for. No doubt people at home were watching a live broadcast, eagerly awaiting the moment Jagged Fel kissed his wife for the very first time.

“There was darkness for a long time and then there was light and that light was you. Your love has given me wings and our journey begins today. I pledge before this assembled company to be your husband from this day forward. Let us make of our two lives one life. I want you for today, tomorrow and forever.”

I bit the inside of my cheek to stop from shedding a few tears. Admittedly, I’d sworn to myself I wouldn’t be one to cry but hearing Jag say these beautiful words…what can a girl do? And anyway, I didn’t have much of a choice in the matter, with all the sniffing going around.

“I, Jagged Fel, take you, Jaina Solo, as my friend and lover, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.”

Little Calrissian was ushered forward by his mother and there was a little collective giggle as he made a face towards her. Goodness, the boy was adorable. But he did his part well as he stepped towards the couple with the red pillow balanced atop his hands.

Jagged smiled at him and reached forward and took one of the golden rings. It twinkled as light fell upon it, upon this symbol of ever-lasting love. Carefully, Jag slipped the ring on Jaina’s slender finger.

“Jaina, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.”

It was indeed extraordinarily difficult not to melt then and there. It was like watching one of those beautiful romantic holodramas where you would imagine swapping places with the heroine. In that moment it became clear to me that someday, I wanted this as well.

Not as big and perfect but something small and nice.

Someday.

“I have dreamed my whole life of having someone as wonderful as you, love me the way you do.” Jaina said and I noted how her voice faltered a bit. “I give myself to you as your wife, and I promise here to treasure for all of my days the love we celebrate today. Let us bring together our lives and find ourselves anew each day.”

She sniffed while a single pearly tear ran down her cheek. “I, Jaina Solo, take you, Jagged Fel, as my friend and love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears, in conflict and tranquility, asking that you be no other than yourself, loving what I know of you, trusting what I do not know yet, in all the ways that life may find us.”

Jaina leaned forward and ruffled Little Calrissian’s curly dark hair – which earned her a beaming smile – before plucking the remaining ring from the pillow. “Jag, I give you this ring as a symbol of my vow, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you.”

I looked towards the front rows of seats and smiled at the emotions displayed before me. Leia was holding it together as best she could, leaning against Han while squeezing his hand. Her eyes were red rimmed and her face blotchy with tears but she looked beautiful all the same. Han smiled at his daughter, happy for her the way only a father can be happy for his daughter.

Jag’s father, Soontir, was in complete control of himself but you could still see the happiness he held for his son. I had rarely seen the man smile before. Not in any pictures or holovids – I’d never met him personally – but now keeping up appearances didn’t seem so important anymore. Because he smiled and there was pride in that smile.

And just like Leia, Syal had puffy eyes and she laughed through a haze of tears. I suppose mothers’ are simply destined to cry at weddings.

“With this statement made of love and trust,” Master Skywalker went on calmly. “I now wish you to greet Jagged Fel and Jaina Solo as husband and wife.”

The guests erupted into a fit of applause when husband and wife kissed for the first time. They embraced each other warmly and someone whistled and whooped while I heard laughter and giggles from all over the place, along with a few sniffs here and there.

Truly, it had taken them long enough – they’d finally done it.

Jag and Jaina were finally married.


	4. Chapter 4

There was a balcony on the upper most level of the Crystal Palace. It spanned at least twenty meters from one end to the other. I stood near the banister, looking out over the quiet sea while the reception was going on behind me. I watched as the horizon lit up with a beautiful orange color mixed with pink and I sighed.

There was only so much mushy lovey-dovey gooey stuff you could take before you wanted to make a run for it.

“Why are you out here on your own?”

Startled, I spun around towards the voice and arched my brows. I smiled as Jaina’s youngest brother approached with his hands stashed in the pockets of his slacks.

I had met Anakin when he was three years old. He’d been this cute pudgy little kid and the urge to pinch his cheeks had been great. I had tried that only once and he had made a point of not liking it by biting my finger. In fact, those tiny little itty-bitty baby teeth almost bit _off_ the finger. And seeing him now, all grown up and so handsome with tousled hair and blue eyes…good God, I felt _old_. 

I sighed and gestured to the sea behind me. “Enjoying the view.” I said, turning around. “I needed space to breathe.”

Anakin stepped up beside me and chuckled softly. “Yeah. It’s crowded inside.”

I considered Anakin to be a very, very lucky young man. Not only did he have the most interesting family in the entire galaxy but he was a hero to so many other young Jedi and non-Jedi alike that I was amazed he was still so down-to-earth. I had heard various stories that he had almost lost his life while saving his friends on a mission. It seemed to have been something of a miracle that he’d survived, according to Master Skywalker. Perhaps there was still more in store for young Anakin. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least because there was something absolutely spectacular about this young man.

He had a promising future to look forward to, I was sure of it.

“Are you happy for your sister?” I asked slowly.

I felt those astonishing blue eyes focus on me as he answered. “Of course. It’s about time she settled down. I think Jag and Jaina are perfect for one another.”

“Like you and Tahiri.” I said, turning towards him. And, as expected, I noted how his cheeks turned red, along with his ears. I can’t begin to describe the adorable picture he presented.

I let out a little laugh and gestured towards the reception hall. “She’s waiting for you, you know.”

“She’s with the other bridesmaids. I’m pretty sure she’s busy.”

I breathed in the salty air of the sea and stepped away from the banister. “Where ever she is, whatever she’s doing – no matter what, she’ll always wait for you.”

With a smile I winked at him and turned away. I suppose it was his turn to get some air because he didn’t follow me inside. And maybe I gave him something to think about as well. Most Jedi thought alike – their duty came first. And with the Solo’s and the Skywalker’s…well, they had a reputation to live up to but by doing this I think they tend to forget they have a private life.

I never could understand the Old Jedi Order and their laws about attachment. Leading a life without someone to love, someone at your side – it isn’t a life at all, if you ask me. There would always be something missing. It would seem _unfulfilling_.

 “There you are!”

When I entered the reception hall, it was Anja’s voice that I heard over the sounds of laughter and music. Anja caught up with me and going by the wide grin on her face, I was certain she had something interesting to report.

“I was looking for you all over the place!”

“I was outside.”

“Guess what?” She asked and I could just imagine how she fought not to fidget.

“Spill it.”

“I just talked with Cem Fel.”

I raised my brows. “And?”

“Liz, he’s _dreamy_!”

I couldn’t help but smile. “And?”

“What do you mean _and_? You have to come talk to him!” She took my hand and started pulling me into the middle of the decorated hall. If I had thought the ceremony chambers had been breathtaking then this was all but spectacular.

The domed ceiling twinkled as light touched the surface and you could make out beautiful and intricate carvings all over the place. One side of the hall was reserved for those willing to dance. There was a stage where a band would play later in the evening – now I noted how a few young kids ran around the place, pretending to be holostars in the spotlight.

On the other side of the hall, the decorators had placed the tables. Too many tables to count, really. The decorations were marvelous. Everything was held in an off-white color, with golden candles and beautiful white roses in full bloom.

Majestic was too soft a word to describe the scenery. It was just completely and utterly magnificent.

A wide flight of stairs led up to an enclosed space reserved only for the bride and groom. They stood at the foot of the staircase, smiling brightly as guests shook their hands and gave their congratulations. I caught sight of Tenel Ka who eyed me curiously as Anja dragged me forward.

Adjacent to the hall, there was another room with cushioned chairs and sofas and a few low tables. Most of the guests could retreat back here to talk and mingle, to walk along a second balcony for fresh air. Anja held my hand in an iron grip as she dragged me towards Cem Fel. He stood next to his sister and the two of them were talking quietly. Although I sensed that their discussion wasn’t a happy one, going by the deep frown on Wynssa’s face.

“Fine. But make sure I’m there when Jag finds out.” Cem was saying when we approached.

Wyn rolled her eyes before glaring at her brother. “Not a kid anymore, Cem. Believe it or not, I’m able to take care of myself.”

Cem grinned suddenly, the sort of brotherly grin that told you he was up to something. The sort of grin all sisters needed to be afraid of. “You know what, I think I just might have a talk with Dad, instead.”

Wyn sucked in a breath and narrowed her eyes. “You wouldn’t dare!”

“Are we interrupting?” Anja spoke up, stepping closer to Cem and placing a hand on his shoulder. Her smile would have knocked any sane man off his feet and Cem was no exception. He grinned at her and turned around to take her hand into his.

What a gentleman he was. He actually kissed her hand.

“Not at all.” Cem whispered, all slick and cute.

“Sounded like the two of you were arguing.” I commented with a wink towards Wyn. I couldn’t help the curiosity. Wyn was _fuming_.

“That’s because my brother’s an idiot.”

“Hey, no name calling at the wedding, please.” Cem said, finally turning away from Anja and winking at his sister. But he never let go of her hand. I watched as Anja’s smile grew wider and she breathed in deeply, seemingly completely at ease.

I guess there was something irresistible about these Fel’s. First it was Jaina falling for Jag, now Anja liking Cem _a lot_ – and Valin Horn approaching us with a big fat grin on his face as his gaze wandered towards Wyn. He held two glasses with a fizzing drink and handed one to the young woman who beamed at him.

I saw how Cem stiffened and it really took a lot not to laugh. So this had been the reason for their little argument. Valin Horn.

Seemed I was the only one who thought this was funny.

“Anja, we should get back to the others.” I said, gesturing back towards the reception hall. I already saw Tenel Ka at the entrance, looking over the crowd and no doubt searching for us. “I think the picture sessions are about to begin.”

Anja, sighing and batting her lashes at Cem, stepped forward and whispered something that made the man arch a brow suggestively. She turned away and followed me back towards the reception hall and I swear she had a spring in her step.

“What’s with the Chiss you met earlier?” I asked, remembering the red eyed uniformed man from the bar.

Anja waved my question away. “Who wants a Chiss when you can have a Fel?”

How very typical Anja.

*

 

I absolutely hate getting my pictures taken.

Ever since Kyp and I had been hounded down by reporters on what was supposed to be a romantic dinner date some ten years earlier, I despised anything even remotely similar to a holocam.

Just seconds before I thought my cheeks would freeze in a state of cramps, I was released from this torture method a little over thirty minutes later. Sure, the pictures turned out to be absolutely stunning. The photographer – an overweight and ridiculously dressed middle-aged Twi’lek – had done a wonderful job of showing this beautiful day in all its splendor. And I’m not exaggerating.

He had put up a hologram projector that first depicted a vast green landscape as a picture background. It switched in intervals – a forest, a meadow, a flower garden, even something akin to a throne room for Jaina and Jag only. It looked very…uh… _imperial_ , if you ask me.

You know, official pictures for the public eye and all that.

The family pictures wouldn’t be released to the public, as far as I knew and neither would those pictures with the bridesmaids and groomsmen. I had enough of seeing my face in the media, thank you very much.

“I need a break.”

I glanced over my shoulder and chuckled when Kyp approached me. He grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the nearest exit and I wondered if this was going to become a habit – people dragging me all over the place. I do know how to walk on my own, thank you very much.

Next stop – after squeezing through mobs of elegantly dressed beings of all shapes, sizes and scents – excuse me, odors – was a room off the reception hall. It was empty, accept for a few stacked up chairs, two extra tables and stacks of tablecloths.

And once the door closed behind us, it was heavenly quiet.

Kyp breathed in deeply and leaned against the wall and I laughed at him. And here I thought I was exhausted with all the happy people and their laughter and their good moods.

“You seem tired.” I said with a grin, stepping closer. He grabbed my hips and pulled me towards him and before I knew it, he kissed me. Good God almighty and Force help me but he was scrumptious. I could have melted in his arms right then and there, converted into this gooey puddle of mush. I leaned into him and sighed as he encircled my waist with his arms. I don’t know how much time passed but I wished the moment could have lasted forever.

We broke apart and I found myself smiling quite sheepishly. Were we really hiding in a backroom smootching like love struck teenagers?

That would be a hell kriffing yeah.

“Should we make a run for it?” Kyp asked softly, tucking a wayward strand of my uncontrollable hair behind my ear.

“Sounds like a plan to me.”

“Think they’d miss us?”

I pretended to think it over for a second or two while I placed small kisses in the palm of his hand. “I don’t believe they would, no.”

“I could rewire a ship and we could leave. Head for the mainland, check into a hotel and stay there for a few days.”

Oh, the thought was marvelous. Just imagining it made me shiver but in a good way.

“I think after more than twenty-four hours, Jaina would send out a search team for us.”  I said slowly, wrinkling my nose at the thought.

“But they’d never catch us, would they?” His smile made my stomach do the weirdest flip flops ever.

“Of course they wouldn’t.” I whispered as he came closer still. “We’re too clever for them.”

“Definitely.”

We kissed again and this time I noted an edge of longing in his touch that hadn’t been there before. I stood on my toes as I wrapped my arms around his neck, deepening the kiss and breathing in his spicy scent. I wished we could lock the door so I could undress him, inch after inch and savor that perfect body of his. The idea of sneaking away to a hotel – far away from all the hustle and bustle in the Palace – was beginning to take shape as a plan in my head.

I knew the moment couldn’t last forever – and couldn’t even last for fifteen minutes because the door opened with a hiss and a red faced Anja appeared a bit out of breath. Kyp and I broke apart slowly, staring at her and giving her the evil eye.

“Oh.” She stammered, trying on a shy smile. “Sorry.”

“Go away.” Kyp said but Anja shook her head.

“I’m sorry. But I sort of have to hide for a little while.”

I arched a brow at her, wondering what she’d done this time. “Why?”

Did I want to know?

Not really.

“Well, remember that Chiss guy from the bar earlier today?” I nodded. “Yeah, his Human friend – Tolin – I was just talking to him. And, you know, flirting.”

“Surprise, surprise.” Kyp muttered with a raised brow.

“He was really nice and I liked talking to him.”

“What about Cem?” I asked.

“Cem?” Kyp had a tough time trying not to laugh. “As in Cem Fel?”

Anja nodded.

“You have horrible taste in men.”

“Shut up, Kyp.” Anja turned her attention back to me. “Really, I was just talking to the guy! But he has a girlfriend. A vicious, mean hag of a girlfriend.”

“And?”

“She said she’d bite my head off if she saw me near him again.”

“So don’t go near him.” Kyp said, matter-of-factly. Such an obvious answer, wasn’t it? The easiest answer too but this was Anja. With Anja, nothing was easy.

“You should have seen her, Kyp! I’m pretty sure she meant it when she said she’d bite my head off. Her mouth sure as hell is big enough.”

“Go find somewhere else to hide.”

Anja’s smile returned and she walked towards the stacked up chairs. She took the top one down and set it on the floor, seating herself gracefully. “I’m good right where I am.”

I groaned. And Kyp just sighed. But when our eyes met I saw the promise of a long and wonderful night after the reception, just the two of us with no interruptions whatsoever.

I could hardly wait.

“So.” Anja said cheerfully. “How’d you two meet?”

*

Knowing that Anja would beg me to stay with her while she was hiding – which I thought was ridiculous, by the way – I humored her and told her about the first time I had run into Kyp. I was twenty-one years old at the time. It seems like forever ago. I didn’t want to get into all the details from back then so I jumped to our second meeting on Denon. It was more interesting anyway, what with Kyp getting drunk in a rundown tapcafé and starting a fight with three armed men and then wondering how the hell he’d gotten his ass kicked.

This was the part where Anja laughed out loud and Kyp shot me an evil look.

It was quite amusing, let me tell you.


	5. Chapter 5

_**Denon** _

  
It had started to rain, a slight dribble that tickled my face. The dark alley behind the tapcafé was deserted, save for a sickly Rodian cowering underneath a dirty blanket near an overflowing grav dumpster.

  
For a moment I watched as Kyp walked away, staggering a bit in his obvious drunken state. “Wait, dammit!” I called with growing annoyance. If there was one person in the entire universe who could drive me up the wall within only a microsecond, it was Kyp Durron.

  
I hated the stubborn side of him, the side that would never take no for an answer or that part of him that knew exactly which buttons to push – and he did it on purpose. He was by far the most provocative man I had ever met.

  
“So you’re just going to leave without saying good-bye?” I yelled at him, watching as an ugly silvery light from above cast his lean form in eerie shadows. “Again?”  
I caught up with him and grabbed his elbow, spinning him around so he would face me. I caught a flash of annoyance in his green eyes, a fact that spiked my irritation even more.

  
“You should go.” He said quietly.

  
“Yeah, fat chance of that happening.”

  
Kyp shrugged and turned around to leave again. I was stunned into speechlessness for mere seconds until my anger got the better of me. I stepped in front of him and placed my hands onto his chest. “What the hell is your problem?”

  
“I really don’t want to deal with your crap right now.” It was like talking with an adolescent only worse. I was beyond angry at that point and I noted how my cheeks grew warm and how my heart beat rocketed, as if it was about to jump out of my chest.

  
“Have you always been such an ass?” I asked, frowning at him. “No, wait. Don’t answer that.” I chuckled mirthlessly. “I know you’re an ass. Not everyone just ups and leaves without leaving so much as a tiny message. But that’s Kyp Durron for you. Strong and fearless as a Jedi Knight but a giant big fat coward when it comes to things involving feelings.”

  
I saw my own anger mirrored in his eyes as he narrowed them at me. “What do you want from me, Liz?” His voice was a deep, hoarse whisper. “An apology? An explanation?” He stepped closer and I could feel his warm breath on my face. “What do you want?”

  
As imposing a figure he made and as intimidating as he sometimes was, it didn’t work on me. I stood my ground, staring at him.

  
“I want to know why you left.” My voice sounded tiny even to myself. I wondered where I had suddenly left my self confidence because all of a sudden, I was nervous. Truly, I was afraid of the answer he might give me.

  
“It wouldn’t make a difference.”

  
“It would make a difference to me.”

  
I noticed how his lips lifted into a small smile but it was in no means a pleasant one. “I left to protect you.” The way he said it made a shiver run down my spine. He knew his words would be more or less insulting to me because being an independent person, I loathed when people thought I needed a babysitter. Kyp had always been bad at that, always wanting to make sure I was okay, even going as far as having friends look after me without me knowing about it.

  
I scowled at him, shaking my head at the complete idiocy of his statement. “I didn’t want protection, Kyp. I didn’t need protection! I needed you. And you left, without a word.”  
An unnerving silence stretched between us while I listened to a soft breeze making its way between the buildings around us. I heard voices from far away floating towards us, as well as the sound of approaching footsteps. I heard my own breathing and absent mindedly noted the way I balled my hands into fists.

  
Kyp turned around and went to leave but I wasn’t ready to let him go. I grabbed his arm but instead of making him face me, he turned the situation around in a swift movement. Within seconds I found myself pinned between the nearest wall and Kyp standing right in front of me with both hands placed next to my head.

  
“Can you imagine what it was like knowing there were people out there willing to hurt you just to get to me?” He whispered.

  
The darkness around us seemed to press onto me and for a moment I was completely stunned at his words. I had always known that there were still some individuals out there wanting revenge for what Kyp had done but I had never thought I would be the focus of their attention. In hindsight it would be the easiest way to ruin someone’s life, wouldn’t it? Why should the murderer of millions be happy when the families and loved-ones of those having lost their kin had to deal with their grief on a daily basis?

  
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked slowly.

  
“Because I knew you wouldn’t care.” He took a deep breath and shook his head as if defeated. “And you deserved better.”

  
It was then that I heard someone approach, heavy footsteps accompanied by light laughter and quiet words. I didn’t pay attention to them as I stared into Kyp’s face. He avoided meeting my eyes, turning away and making his way to leave. I was sick of having to run after him and it was this time that I decided to let him go. What good would it do anyway? Obviously, he’d made up his mind.

  
“Is this guy bothering you?”

  
I turned towards the new voice, surprised to see a tall Duros, a Human male and a Devaronian standing just a few feet away from me. All three of them were dressed in old dark brown flightsuits with thick belts around their hips, sporting quite the assortment of weapons. Each one of them carried a different blaster, small daggers and the Human male actually held a shock stick in his hand. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kyp stiffen.

  
“No. He’s not.” I said firmly.

  
“Looks like he is to me.” The Duros slurred his words as he came closer, his voice raspy.

  
“Just go.” I snapped, knowing that no good could come of this. I rubbed my brow wishing that the night would simply end and I could go back to my hotel room and pretend all this had never happened.

  
“You heard the lady.” Kyp said slowly and I knew he was already analyzing and evaluating, keeping tabs on their movements, discovering flaws in the mere seconds it took for them to take a single step.

  
Inwardly I groaned. The smartest thing would have been to leave but knowing Kyp, he wouldn’t back down. But he wasn’t really in the best shape to fight. Sure, he could stand up straight without swaying back and forth but a few steps in a straight line, and the man would be staggering every two meters or so.

  
“We can take care of this guy for you.” The Human said and his puffy, red-rimmed wide eyed stare told me everything I needed to know. There was a sheen of sweat on his face, his skin was pale and almost translucent and he smelled extraordinarily sweet. There was no doubt in my mind that he was jacked up on Kik-dust.

  
“Go away.” I said, taking Kyp’s hand and wanting to pull him away but he wasn’t having it. Of course not. Never back down from a fight and all that crap, right?  
But no, Kyp stood there, glaring at each of the men, one after the other. “Leave.”

  
The Human laughed, which sounded more like a snort to me, and played around with the shock stick, throwing it from hand into the other. This wasn’t going to go well, I just knew it.

  
“Feel like having a little fun?” The Human asked over his shoulder. His Duros friend laughed, a dark disgusting sound in the back of his throat while the Devaronian actually hissed at us.

  
But it was Kyp who completely surprised the kriff out of me.

  
Because he was the one who threw the first punch.

*

  
“You started a fight?” Anja asked with raised brows, crossing her legs at the ankles and shooting an awkward look Kyp’s way. “I mean, you’re a Jedi. Aren’t you one of the guys always preaching to the younglings not to start fights?”

  
He lifted his lips into an impish little smile and simply shrugged. “That’s different.”

  
She snorted. “So what happened afterward?”

  
There was a sudden soft beeping sound going through the small backroom that had us all glancing towards the only door. Someone had activated the locking mechanism. Anja jumped up and her chair toppled over backward and her eyes were wide as she no doubt imagined the beasty girlfriend waiting outside to bite her head off.  
“Liz, do something!” She hissed.

  
“Me?” I asked a bit perturbed, looking from Anja to Kyp while placing my hands on my hips. “Why does it always have to be me?”

  
Kyp lifted his hands into the air and shook his head. “Do not look at me.”

  
Figures.

  
Anja all but ran towards me and grabbed my hands. “Please, please, please Liz!”

  
Wow. Anja was seriously afraid, wasn’t she? Although I don’t know what she was afraid of because I was pretty sure she could defend herself quite well. Not only did she have the training to do so but most people turned away once she started mouthing off at them. So whoever this woman was…huh.

  
I made a mental note to definitely meet her.

  
“It could be anyone, Anja. Calm down.”

  
“And whoever it is will throw us out because we’re not supposed to be in here.”

  
I pursed my lips.

  
She had a point.

  
Damn.

  
I didn’t feel like going back out to the wedding just yet. A few more minutes of quiet sounded marvelous. So I had exactly half a minute to come up with a plan so whoever it was at the door would turn around and leave.

  
I sighed.

  
“Fine.”

  
I started taking out the thousand and one pins the hairdresser had stashed into this elaborate hairstyle – it was already giving me a headache, just for the record. It was so wonderfully refreshing when the weight atop my head lessened. Who’d have thought?

  
“What are you up to?” Kyp asked with a frown.

  
I grinned at him and wiggled my eyebrows suggestively. “You’ll see.”

  
I ran my hands through my sticky, gluey, hair-sprayed hair while taking a step towards the stack of table cloths. I tore one free, shook it out a bit and held it up to my chest as if I wanted to cover…well, my modesty if you catch my drift. Thanks to the strapless dress, I could actually pull it off.

  
“Watch and learn, Anja dearest.” I said, heading to the door.

  
I took a quick glance over my shoulder and gestured for Anja and Kyp to get out of sight. Otherwise this perfect plan wouldn’t work.

  
Just as the door opened, I slapped the controls and it stopped to leave a crack just wide enough that I could see a maid along with a droid, the maid staring at me with wide eyes. She was a young woman, with flaming red hair and blue eyes and when she actually realized what was going on, she smiled.

  
“Um…” I cleared my throat. “Could you come back later maybe?”

  
“You aren’t supposed to be in here.” She said, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

  
I pretended to look over my shoulder, giggled a little and turned my attention back to the girl. “I know but it’s hard to come by privacy at the moment. We’re sort of…you know…in the middle of something.”

  
For a moment she didn’t say anything at all and I thought my perfect plan would fail. But then she smiled and nodded. “Will an hour be enough?”  
An hour?!

  
Hell, at that moment the thought of throwing Anja out was very, very, very tempting.

  
“More than enough. Thanks.” I winked at her and touched the controls to close the door.

  
Anja stepped forward and hugged me. She more or less knocked the wind out of me with that hug.

  
“Thanks.”

  
“See how easy that was?” I shrugged out of her rancor hold when Kyp approached with a smile that had me all jittery inside. An hour!  
Damn you, Anja.

  
“That was very creative.” Kyp whispered, kissing my cheek.

  
Anja cleared her throat when she sat back down on her chair. “Now that we have an hour to spare –“  
Inwardly I sighed.

  
“What happened after Kyp punched the guy?”

  
I shrugged. “Well –”

Anja’s eyes lit up with something akin to glee. “And every little detail, okay?”

I ignored Kyp’s groan.


	6. Chapter 6

_ Denon _

It was raining in streams when the men I dubbed complete idiots started getting into it in earnest. The Human guy jacked up on kick dust snarled like a beast when he threw a punch Kyp’s way and surprisingly, he even hit. There was a sickening crack and I cringed away and made a face. Kyp’s lower lip was split and a few drops of blood ran down his chin – I wondered if the Human had knocked out a tooth…

“Will you stop it?” I called out annoyed, feeling completely at ease and not taking any of this crap seriously. With a snap of his fingers, Kyp could have ended all of this. He could use the Force to sweep these dumbasses of their feet – but he didn’t. I waited and waited for that one moment he would draw on the Force but all the while Kyp fought with hands and feet, punching and kicking – he managed to knock the Human unconscious. And not a moment too soon because Humans on kick dust weren’t a good combination.

The more aggressive they became, the more strength shot through their system and if even only for a few minutes, kick dust made the user almost unbeatable.

The Duros kicked out with on long leg, missing Kyp only by inches. The Devaronian went to grab him from behind in a headlock but Kyp twisted away and landed a punch underneath his horns – which seemed to be quite painful because he howled.

I stood a few steps away wondering if I should help Kyp. I learned early on in life to never leave home without a small assortment of weapons. I had a small dagger stashed in a holster at the small of my back – a gift from Kyp, actually – and a fighting stick in my pants pocket. It was really small when not in use, more like a lipstick case than anything else. But with a flick of a button, like a telescope, the thing turned into one fierce looking kick-ass staff and I can’t even begin to describe how much fun it was to use it. I had bought the thing on a market right before the war started, amazed at its simplicity.

If I got into the fight to help Kyp, he wouldn’t appreciate it. That’s the problem with hard headed stubborn people – even if they know they’re about to go down, there was no way in hell they would ask for help and if you helped them anyway, they’d be angry at you for more or less saving their hide.

I snorted. Kyp was pissed at me anyway so what the hell?

And I made up my mind the moment I saw the Duros scramble back to his feet, sporting a vibro dagger in one hand while approaching Kyp.

And still my idiot Jedi friend – the emphasize lies on idiot, by the way – did not use the Force.

I groaned in frustration.

I dug out the lip-stick shaped fighting stick, pressed down on a small button and reveled in the sound of a slight click when it elongated into a two meter ass kicking apparatus.

I sighed – wonderful.

I jumped into the fight the moment the Duros swung towards Kyp’s face with his vibrodagger. I was faster though, swinging my newly equipped staff towards his midsection and flinging him off his feet. I nudged him with the Force and I was quite satisfied when he landed on his butt halfway down the alley.

Turning back towards Kyp and the Devaronian, I watched for a moment as they traded off punches and kicks. It got boring after about ten seconds so I drew on the Force again and pushed forward – the Devaronian stumbled and Kyp punched down near the man’s horns again. And just like that he was out, unmoving but breathing.

The Duros, knowing he had no chance whatsoever to win this silly fight, took his legs and ran like the wind.

I had the fighting staff retract into its original form before heading over to Kyp. He didn’t look well at all. Busted lip, dark bruising underneath his eye, the other eye was swollen…

“I didn’t need nor did I want your help, Liz.”

“Why didn’t you use the Force?” I asked slowly, completely ignoring his statement.

“Because I didn’t want to.” He snapped at me, wiping the corner of his mouth with the sleeve of his tunic. I’d never seen the man in such a mess before. I stepped closer and reached out to examine his face but he shrugged away, green eyes blazing with more than just a little annoyance. “I don’t want your help.”

I felt like I was dealing with a child. Sighing, I simply shrugged. “I’d like to understand why you’re doing this to yourself. You’re a complete wreck – inside and out – and you’re making it worse.”

Kyp snorted, for the first time since the fight meeting my eyes. “Is that your professional opinion?”

I pursed my lips. “It’s my opinion as a friend. My professional opinion is that you’ve completely lost your kriffing mind.” I winked at him and forced a tight lipped smile. “You’re destroying yourself.”

“So what?” He turned around and headed further down the alley towards the main road. There were cabs lined up along the streets and public transport stops from which you could travel anywhere you wanted to go on Denon. I had no idea where Kyp was going and I knew this could be my last chance to set things right with him.

I didn’t want it to end this way.

“Don’t leave like this.” I walked next to him and grabbed his hand. I noted his hand looked even worse than his face. “We need to patch you up.”

I tore away from me. “I don’t want your help.”

How can one person be so stubborn? So stupid to not know when to accept help? How could anyone put up with an attitude like this for a prolonged time?

“What’s happened to you?” I asked softly and surprisingly he stopped walking. I watched as his shoulders sagged as if a great weight had settled atop him. It was like his strength was leaking away through invisible holes and crevices around him, exhaustion taking its place.

“I had an apprentice. Did you know that?” He turned his head towards me, looking over his shoulder with an expression on his face that I couldn’t place. He seemed so forlorn, so lost.

Broken.

“I didn’t know.” I said quietly, stepping closer. The rain had stopped and from somewhere down the alley I heard water dripping into a puddle.

“His name was Miko. One of few people who I actually got along with. He was like – “ His voice broke and he laughed mirthlessly. “He was like a brother to me.” Kyp swallowed and ran both hands through his disheveled hair. The yellowish light from the streetlamps cast him in golden glow and he looked older than he was, so much older and weary. “The Vong killed him.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Half my friends died in the war. People I was close to…” I suppose pictures of the deceased ran through his mind because he grew very quiet all of a sudden. When he spoke again his voice was soft. “You want to know what happened to me?” Again that mirthless laugh. “The kriffing war happened to me, Liz. And I am sick and tired of people like you thinking you can make things better by trying to make us talk about it. Nothing is going to make this better. Nothing is going to bring them back.”

“Of course not.” I whispered, stepping closer and reaching out to place a hand on his arm. This time he actually allowed the touch. I watched all sorts of emotions play across his face – worry, alarm, hope but foremost fatigue. I felt sorry for him, for everyone who had fought in the war to survive without their friends and families. Alone with their dark thoughts when those they had fought to protect were able to smile and laugh.

“I’m sorry, Kyp.” I took a closer look at his face and breathed in deeply – he really needed to see a medic about his eye. I trailed a finger underneath the bruise and he winced a little. But when I cupped the side of his face in my hand, he did nothing at all.

He stood completely still, watching me. Our eyes met and I smiled weakly, running my thumb along his stubbly cheek. Meeting him here on this huge planet, amongst millions and millions of beings, in a rundown tapcafé – I chose to believe that it was meant to be. This had to be more than just a coincidence, right?

So I’d be stupid to let him leave again.

I grabbed a portion of his tunic and pulled him closer. He smelled of stale cigarra smoke and strong ale but I didn’t care. I cared only about him and I realized that my feelings for him were still as strong as they had been before the war, before everything had broken apart.

I kissed him softly, minding his busted lip but it seemed he didn’t care because he jumped right into it. His hands came along my waist and I swear I could have melted right then and there – just a puddle of Liz goo in a back alley somewhere on Denon. It felt absolutely marvelous being this close to him again. It was an indescribable feeling, a feeling I didn’t want to lose ever again.

Time seemed to come to a stop altogether. There was still the sound of dripping water, of hovercars nearby, airspeeders up above – and, behind me, the sudden all too familiar growl of a Devaronian waking up from his stupor.

Slowly, Kyp lifted his head and glanced over my shoulder. There was the slightest smile on his face and a twinkle in his green eyes. I heard the Devaronian coming towards us, booted feet slapping through puddles on the ground. From the corner of my eye, I saw Kyp lift his hand, twisting his wrist to the right. I felt the rush of Force energy pass by me like a cool breeze and the Devaronian was swept off his feet to land several feet away, atop the grav dumpster I had noticed earlier.

I laughed. “You could have done that sooner, you know?”

Kyp shrugged. “It would have taken all the fun out of the fight.”

I placed two fingers onto his lips as he leaned down to kiss me again and I laughed at the confusion playing across his features. “We get you checked out first.”

He sighed.

“And then…” I stood on my toes and whispered into his ear. And all of a sudden he was totally on board with my plan to first see a medic and then head to the hotel room I had booked for the duration of my stay on Denon.

It would turn out to be a fantastic and unforgettable stay.

*

“Do you want me to go out first?” Kyp asked as he pinched the bridge of his nose and tried very hard not to laugh. Anya shot him a scowl over her shoulder before taking a quick peek into the corridor and when she was satisfied that there was no one there, she breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m capable of doing this on my own, thank you very much.”

“You sure about that?”

I watched the two of them, mildly amused. It was odd, really. If you knew Anja, you knew that she could be a cold hearted witch if she wanted to be, you knew that she could fight and fend for herself and you also knew that she had the kindest heart, the warmest soul you could ever hope for in a person. So seeing her like this because of a stranger was… _different_.

“Do you know the woman?” I asked thoughtfully.

“I’ve seen her around.”

“And?”

“And nothing.”

I arched my brows at her. There was something she wasn’t telling me but knowing it would get me nowhere to prod on, I let the matter drop. But, of course, made a note to myself to squeeze all the information out of her later when there was no one in earshot.

Anja stepped into the corridor with her head held high and she placed a fake smile on her face. The guests from the reception hall were laughing loudly when we entered and the reason why a few of the guests were actually holding their stomachs was Wes Janson up on stage. At first look I thought he was holding a furry ball in his hands but after a moment I realized it was indeed a tiny, little stuffed Ewok.

Going by the tales I’d heard about Wes Janson, the thing with the Ewok was funny in itself. And watching him talk to it as if it were a real person was totally hilarious. The man was an ace at making faces.

Anja nudged me from behind and I followed her gaze towards Anakin and Tahiri, both speaking animatedly with Cem Fel. A small smile spread into a big fat grin as Anja left my side and approached the trio. I wondered if the woman would ever learn.

Cem seemed like a nice guy and a voice inside my head beckoned to warn him about how Anja could easily just push him aside for the next best thing. And they say guys are the ones who have trouble using their brains…

My attention drifted towards the Solo/Fel family table. Jag and Jaina sat next to each other, holding hands while they talked with their parents and all those who passed by to congratulate and chit chat. Jaina looked marvelous in her dress and I was again completely awed at how much a simple gown could change someone’s appearance. And she was happy. There was a light in her eyes that had dimmed over the past few years but today – today she was simply happy.

While Kyp spoke in hushed tones with Jag, I noticed an elderly man staring in our direction. At first I thought there was someone behind me but when I looked over my shoulder, there was no one there. Frowning, I glanced back his way and a cold shiver ran down my spine at the coldness I saw in this strangers’ pale grey eyes. I had never seen this man before so I was more than just a little confused as to why he was staring at me. Me, of all people. I was a nobody in this group of wedding guests, just an average young lady at a wedding. At least I would like to think so.

I turned away from the man, feeling completely vulnerable all of a sudden. His gaze was penetrating as if he could see right into my soul. He lifted a wineglass to his lips and I swear he smiled at me. I felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden that I quickly turned away, taking a deep breath and telling myself there was nothing to worry about.

“Uh…I think Anja needs help.”

I turned towards Kyp’s amused voice, then looked over at Anja and Tahiri, who were gesticulating wildly while talking to an older woman who looked absolutely stunning. She wore a rather tight fitting dark blue gown and it twinkled when she moved, like stars plucked from space and sewn into the soft material of her dress.

If this was the woman Anja was so afraid of, I could totally understand why. You did not mess with Shada D’ukal. I’d never met her but her name came with gasps and raising brows and plus, only someone with a very strong mind and backbone made of steel would give a relationship with Talon Karrde a try.

So yeah – totally understandable why Anja was afraid of her and by the paleness in her face, Anja wanted to run away. Kyp hurried towards them and calmed the situation down with his charm, of course. Or perhaps only a few heated whispers towards Anja to cut it out and let the woman be, who knows?

Maybe Anja would actually learn from this. One could hope.

It was then that Wes stepped off the stage with a chorus of laughter and applause. He bowed at the hip, waved with his pet Ewok and regrouped with his friends at one of the tables in the front. Soft tunes of a Corellian classical song brought Jag to his feet. I stepped aside as he took Jaina’s hand into his and led her to the dance floor. Their first dance as husband and wife.

“Beautiful wedding, isn’t it?”

I turned towards the unknown deep voice and tried to ignore the shiver that coursed through me. Those cold grey eyes looked me up and down and the old man’s smile was wrong on so many levels. There was something about this guy that I didn’t like and involuntarily, I took a step away.

“Yes, it is.” I answered politely and I forced a smile.

“Are you a friend of the happy couple?”

I took a deep breath and collected myself. Maybe I was misjudging the old man. Up close he didn’t seem all that creepy anymore. He had short, silver hair, a lined face – looked like he’d been through a lot in his life and going by the uniform he wore, he came from some sort of military background. Still – and I couldn’t put my finger on it – something about him just rubbed me the wrong way. Call it a gut feeling if you will.

“Yes.” I answered, nodding towards Jag and Jaina as they danced together, smiling with twinkling eyes. Seriously, it was every little girls’ fantasy. “I’ve known them for quite a while already. We’re good friends.”

“So many happy people.” He said, raising his half empty glass of red wine to his lips. “Some of these people here have no right to be happy.”

It took a moment for me to actually grasp what he had said and I frowned at him. There was a tingling at the nape of my neck, a sense of danger from this old man that I hadn’t caught before. How the hell was I suppose to respond to a statement like that?

“Pardon?”

The old man shrugged. “Some of the guests here do not have the right to be happy. I feel sick just by looking at their smiling faces.”

I was at a loss for words. This was a wedding, for Force’s sake! You can’t go saying things like this on such a special day.

“Would you excuse me, please?” I said slowly, turning away from him but feeling his eyes on me.

“Until next time, Miss Thompson.”

I stopped in midstride and shot a curious look over my shoulder. Sure, he could have gotten my name from anyone at the wedding – it wasn’t a secret but it was the man’s tone of voice that had me on edge. What the hell did he want from me?

I hurried away from him and joined Anja, Cem and Kyp. Tahiri and Anakin had left to join Jaina and Jag on the dance floor, leaving a relieved Anja behind to get to know Cem a bit better. Shada D’ukal  was nowhere in sight.

Usually, I would have laughed at Anja, made fun of her in some way for finally meeting her match but the acquaintance with the old man had made my mood plummet to below zero. I stepped up next to Kyp and took his hand in mine, scanning the large crowd in front of us. I couldn’t see the man anymore but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still watching me.

“Are you alright?” Kyp asked softly, pulling me a little closer.

I nodded. “I’m okay.”

The lie would have been obvious to anyone. And lying to a Jedi Master was impossible anyway so why I kept trying to hide things that I felt he didn’t have to know was beyond me.

Eventually he always found out.

“You’re lying.” He whispered and I felt his warm breath brush along my neck.

I sighed and forced a little smile, “It’s nothing, really.”

“Liz –“

I placed a hand on his chest and shook my head. “Trust me, Kyp. Don’t make a big thing out of nothing. Please.”

Reluctantly, he accepted the fact that I didn’t want to talk about what was bothering me. He kissed my forehead and I felt at ease and safe from one second to the next. “Promise me, if there’s something wrong, you’ll tell me.”

I took a deep breath. I wasn’t even sure if there was something wrong or not.

“I promise.”


	7. Chapter 7

“What have you done?”

I whirled around at the squeaky exclamation, eyes wide because I really thought I had done something terribly wrong. Tenel Ka approached me with long strides, hands on her hips and giving me that typical Mom look – you know the one that makes you want to turn around and leave the scene of the crime. We’ve all seen that look on occasion.

“What?” I stammered, completely befuzzled and confused.

Tenel Ka grabbed my elbow and led me down the corridor towards the fresher – I was on my way there anyway. You can only take so many glasses of wine and juice until nature calls.

When we passed the threshold into the restroom, Tenel Ka pulled me in front of the mirror and pointed at my reflection. “I can’t have you looking like this!”

Ugh.

My hair.

I forgot that I had taken out all the pins and now the curly, straight and wavy hair strands stood up all over the place.

“People are still taking pictures, Liz. You must look your best at this wedding.”

I rolled my eyes as Tenel plucked two pins from her own hair and starting twisting and pulling around on mine. I winced but decided it would be safer not to whine. Seriously, I felt sorry for poor Allana. There wouldn’t be any rolling in the mud for her – at least not officially.

“You look a complete mess.”

“I get the picture.”

About two minutes later she’d miraculously styled my hair into a fashionable bun and it didn’t feel like I had a ton stashed atop my head either. It was rather comfortable, I thought and it looked nice.

“This will have to do.” Tenel said.

I shrugged. “It looks okay.”

She snorted, which totally ruined the fact that I thought I looked nice.

Well – fine!

We left the rest room almost twenty minutes later, having caught up on gossip going around. I wasn’t into all the gossiping but it was interesting enough to keep an open ear because, honestly, you never know when such information could come in handy.

Tenel Ka headed back to Jacen and their daughter while I avoided throwing myself back into the crowd. I was still pondering about the old man and even if I wouldn’t admit it out loud, I was shaken up about it.

I walked through a side door and up a flight of stairs that led to the second story of the reception hall. There was a balcony that stretched from one end to the other and I stood up here on my own for a while, watching the mingling and dancing crowd below.

Almost automatically I looked for the old man, wondering again what the hell he wanted with me. Maybe he was just some old war veteran who’d lost his marbles along the way. Maybe his little speech to me didn’t mean anything at all and he was just trying to spark a conversation, although not very successfully.

But he’d said until next time…

A shiver ran down my spine and I rubbed my arms, taking a step back from the banister. I was ready to call it a night.

“I’ve been looking for you.”

Smiling to myself I turned around and extended a hand. Kyp came forward and I hugged him, feeling content just being near him. I stood on my toes and kissed his cheek, breathing in the spicy scent of his cologne. I laid my head on his chest and for a moment I concentrated on the steady beating of his heart and that was it. Everything else just ceased to be for a little while and I liked it that way.

“So.” Kyp said. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on?”

I sighed and looked back to the wedding guests below. It was then that I realized that this night was special to everyone in all sorts of ways. For Jaina and Jag it was obvious. This was the official beginning of their lives together as husband and wife. For Tenal Ka and Jacen it was more or less the first time together in public as a real family with their daughter Allana. And for Anja – maybe running into Shada would make her think about her actions, about how she could destroy relationships by her behavior. And then, of course, there were Anakin and Tahiri. No doubt they were up next with getting hitched.

Yeah, this day was a special day for our friends and for us – meaning Kyp and myself – as well. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something waiting for us, too, but in a good way. It felt like a nudge through the Force – a listen up and watch sort of thing.

I took a step closer to the banister and there he was, the old man, standing amongst others his age, all clad in dark blue dress uniforms. Awkwardly, he turned my way and our eyes met. I stared back at him, stoically and absolutely expressionless. I would not back down. He lifted his glass as a salute of sorts, smiled and turned away, leaving me wishing I could kick him in the rearend and be done with it.

“Liz.”

“I’m tired, that’s all.” I said hastily, not even convincing myself with the lie.

Kyp sighed. “I wish you’d just tell me the truth, Liz.”

I wrinkled my nose. “You’ll go all ballistic on me.”

His raised his brows. “I don’t go –“

“Yes, you do.”

“No, I –“

“Yuh-huh.”

“Nuh-uh.”

I laughed at him and pulled him back into a warm hug. “This guy came to speak to me earlier this evening.” I began. “It was strange. Because he said that some people around here have no right to be happy. It’s an odd thing to say at a wedding.”

“It’s an odd thing to say in general.”

I shrugged. “It’s a matter of opinion I suppose. But it was the way that he said it. And he said it to me, directly, as if it were meant for me, you know?”

“Is he down there?” Kyp asked softly.

I nodded and gestured towards the group of men standing near the tall windows. “Yeah, down by –“

Too bad he wasn’t there anymore.

*

I don’t know what time it was when I finally managed to drag my tired self to our suite. I could get used living down here in the lower levels of the palace. When you entered, the first thing you saw was a huge window, spanning the entire length of the wall. And outside the dark depths of the sea surrounding us.

It was indescribably beautiful.

The window frame was lit by small light blue bulbs, highlighting a tiny area where I could see the smallest sea creatures going about their usual routine. It was so endlessly quiet down here, so peaceful and ultimately private – I really didn’t want to leave. But the following morning would entail getting up, getting ready and going home.

I walked up to the wide window and placed my palm on the cool glass. I had always been amazed by water but this – this was perfect.

“It must have been wonderful living near the water.” I said quietly, referring to Kyp’s homeworld of Deyer. I glanced over my shoulder and smiled as I watched him shrug out of his coat.

He shrugged. “Sometimes.”

He never liked speaking about his past. I had to really coax it out of him but when he did open up, he wouldn’t stop. It was like I had opened a valve and everything came out all at once, like a waterfall. Tonight, it seemed, he wasn’t in much of a talkative mood, though.

He joined me at the window and I leaned into him, closing my eyes as he wrapped his arms around me. We just stood there, in silence, enjoying the view.

I felt his fingers gently stroke along my spine and it took a lot not to shiver. I sighed, content and when he leaned forward and kissed a path down my neck towards my shoulder, it was all I could do not to turn around and tackle him.

I bit my lower lip as I fought not to giggle. Turning around, I pulled Kyp closer but still had to stand on my toes to kiss him.

The privacy we had in this suite was unbelievable. Not even back home could we enjoy such silence – all I heard was our combined breathing and I loved it.

Kyp’s kiss became more urgent and I was all on board. He pulled back and the smile on his face told me that we weren’t going to be getting a lot of sleep.

Now I did giggle.

*

I had a dream that night.

I was back home at my parents’ place where my brothers and I grew up. The living room had turned into some sort of dance studio in the dream and there was a young girl, maybe ten years old and she smiled at me.

She was such a pretty little girl. Long, dark hair fell in wavy strands over slender shoulders and her dark brown eyes shone with happiness. She reminded me of myself at her age and I remember wanting to be a dancer…

She wore one of those funny looking costumes, all frilly and lacey and, of course, pink. She even wore the pink shoes that could help her stand on the very front of her toes.

I heard music, a soft beautiful melody that I would remember for the rest of my life. It was a lullaby my oldest brother would sing to me when I was little. It was a tune I often hummed when I was alone.

The girl danced to this music. And she did a splendid job. She spun around on one leg, arms stretched upward into the air – like a little figurine in a jewelry box.

I was instantly amazed.

She extended a hand towards me when she was finished with her routine, an invitation for me to join in. And, as said, I had wanted to be a dancer so I walked towards her, ready to dance with the  pretty little girl when, all of a sudden, she fell to sand right before my eyes.

I stepped back with a yelp, looking down to my feet where the sand had collected into a small mound.

I stood, shocked into silence, as I stared at the open space where the young girl had been just seconds ago. And I felt empty inside, hollow and it hurt like nothing I had ever experienced before. And in the dream, I fell to my knees and I cried.

Obviously, when I woke up, I was thoroughly confused


	8. Chapter 8

The following morning we were one of the first guests to pack up and leave. Along with Anakin, Tahiri and Anja, we were headed back home to Coruscant on Anja’s little ship. Her prized possession and it was very unwise to whine about her ship – she’d throw you out and make you push.

Before we left though, we had a late breakfast with the newlyweds and their family. It was fun, a small group of people sitting around a beautifully decorated table and although we had a great time, there was a shadow hanging above us; we’d all be saying good-bye soon.

I’d come to consider Jaina a very good friend but now at Jag’s side, life was forever changed. There wouldn’t be any late night visits with a movie and chocolate ice cream. I would miss those times where we would just hang out and do nothing at all besides talk about girly stuff and men. Especially when Anja was around.

Jag and Jaina were heading off towards their honeymoon destination a few hours later. They kept it a big secret where they were going, all Jaina mentioned was the fact that the place was beautiful and warm. Officially, no one could reach them but unofficially I’m pretty sure they would both be carrying their comlinks in case of emergency. An emergency being the end of the galaxy or some such.

I hate goodbyes. So after breakfast, all I did was give Jag and Jaina a quick hug and I wished them all the best in the world. And cute little kids, of course. Who knew when I’d get to see them in person again? I was certain they’d show up in the news quite a few times, especially after the wedding but seeing them face to face…it would take a while.

I didn’t say goodbye – I said see you later instead.

*

“How long until we get home?” Kyp asked while he slouched in the co-pilots chair aboard Anja’s ship. What kind of ship it was, I have no idea. I have no clue whatsoever about flying vehicles. For me it’s enough that the thing can take me from point A to point B. In one piece, of course.

“It’ll take as long as it takes.” She answered patiently as if talking to a child, while her fingers flew across the controls.

“Well, how long will it take?”

Anja gave him a sidelong glance and Kyp stared back with a plain face, expressionless although I could see amusement sparking behind his eyes.

“Are we going to go through this again?” Anja asked, leaning back and crossing her arms in front of her chest.

“Are we going to go through what again?”

“You pestering me with stupid questions.”

Kyp raised his brows. “Was that a stupid question?” He turned towards me. “Did I just ask a stupid question?”

“Please leave me out of this.” I said with raised hands. They’d gone through the same procedure on the way to the wedding and I had stepped out of the cockpit because the two of them had started annoying the hell out of me. They were like two stubborn kids, neither one of them wanting to back down but…well…Anja usually won. She always had some trick up her sleeve to shut Kyp up.

Quite funny,  really.

“I swear, I will lock you up in a suit and glue you to the hull, Durron.”

Kyp chuckled. “You can’t take me, Anja.”

“I’ll have Liz tickle you.”

Pretending to be completely shocked, Kyp turned my way again with eyes wide. “You told her!”

I shrugged. “I told Jaina.”

“And Jaina told me. So shut up – or it’s the tickle monster for you.”

I sat back and silently laughed to myself. I was surrounded by friends and by the man I loved; what more could I possibly ask for?

*

About half an hour into the flight, I got tired of listening to Anja and Kyp’s banter. Sure, the two pigheads made me laugh but you can only take so much until your head starts spinning.

I snuck out of the cockpit – I doubt they even realized I had left – and decided to see if I could find some sweets. No doubt Anja had something stashed aboard the ship.

When I entered the galley, Anakin and Tahiri had made themselves quite comfortable. As in very comfortable, so comfortable even that these two _Jedi Knights_ didn’t notice me enter.

The galley looked like a living room. Anja had the floor laid out with a thick carpet, there were huge pillows in one corner, a large table with a bench where we could all sit and have a meal if we wanted to. Which, now, would be a problem because Anakin and Tahiri had the table occupied.

Tahiri sat on the table with her arms around Anakin’s neck and slowly, she was pulling him down. I didn’t need a very active imagination to know what they were up to so I discreetly turned around and wanted to head back out to leave them some privacy.

But the moment the door opened, Kyp  and Anja barged in still arguing.

Anakin and Tahiri jumped apart as quickly as they could but – well, they’d been caught. And sure enough, they would not hear the end of it.

“Oh, come on guys.” Anja shook her head and placed her hands on her hips. “We have three separate cabins for you to use on the ship and you have to desecrate the galley?”

Tahiri blushed a crimson red and Anakin? He smiled smugly.

*

It was hours later that we arrived home.

Home being Coruscant.

I stared out the small viewport in the galley as the planet grew larger, amazed at the complexity of the place I had grown up. The planet that was a city; it was difficult actually imagining how many millions of individuals lived down below.

When we entered the atmosphere, I sighed.

Once we landed it would be business as usual.

Every-day life would return with a vengeance.

Sure, I had an adventurous life with a Jedi Master as a sweetheart but still, sometimes…

I gave a silent wish that something out of the ordinary would happen, something that would make life a bit more interesting than getting up in the morning, heading to work and going home afterward.

There lies truth behind the words: be careful what you wish for.


	9. Part 2 - Broken Home

_ Coruscant Medical Center _

_ Three days after Jag & Jaina’s wedding _

 

“All I’ve done is shown you a way out. But you have to walk the path on your own.”

I sat back twirling a stylus between my fingers while eying the young boy sitting opposite me. As a social worker, I had all sorts of similar cases and each and every time, my heart bled. This boy was thirteen years old, a kid off the streets whose parents didn’t care a rats’ ass about him or his five year old sister.

The burden on his shoulders was nothing a child so young should have to carry but he’d made the first step into a better life all on his own.

He’d come to the clinic because his sister had broken her arm and the doctor on duty had called me because he had a feeling there was more to the story than met the eye, especially since the boy had adamantly refused to call his parents. And then, of course, there was that little thing called insurance, which both of them did not have.

Leo and Tamira Avlon came from a broken family. Their father was an ex-military officer who never accepted the fact that his time in the Imperial Navy was over. In a way it was understandable that someone could completely lose focus after years and years serving such a grand purpose and all of a sudden – poof, all gone. But the moment kids are involved, it’s one hell of a no-go. It was his parental obligation to get his act together.

And their mother? A lost cause. When Leo came to see me several weeks ago, he showed me where he lived. It’s not standard procedure to venture out to clients’ homes, especially not alone but Leo needed to show me. It felt like he needed to share this part of his life to find closure for himself.

I introduced myself to his mother, I offered to help her. If she had just accepted, things would have been so much easier but instead, she’d muttered incoherently, sat down on the sofa and did nothing at all. According to Leo, that’s all she ever did. She stared into space.

I let the clinic know and now she’s in their hands.

“Do you really think it’ll be better if we leave? My sister, she’s still so little.”

I sat forward and smiled kindly. Everything inside me wanted to take him in. I had this feeling with more than half the clients I dealt with. I wanted to help each one of them but that just wasn’t possible. The best I could do was make sure they didn’t have to go back to the hell they called life.

“I _know_ it will be better. For the both of you.”

Leo nodded his tousled blond head. “I’m scared.”

“I know you are.” I placed the stylus aside and sat forward. I could see his fear like a violet aura vibrating through the Force. “But you won’t be for very long. And if there’s anything you need, even if you just want to talk and say hello, you call me, okay?”

Leo took a deep breath and turned his head towards the window. “My sister and me, we could be a part of the upper class world, right?”

“You can be whatever you want to be, Leo.”

“And our parents?”

“You don’t have to see them again, if you don’t want to.”

There was a firmness around his jaw that didn’t belong into the face of a thirteen year old child. He had been forced to grow up for too quickly.

“I don’t want to see them again. And neither does my sister.”

Relieved, I nodded and took a deep breath. It was the most wonderful feeling in the world when I knew I succeeded in helping such a young individual find his way in this chaotic galaxy. And I knew for a fact that Leo Avlon would use this chance and make something of it. It was in his character to be the best that he could.

For some of us, change could be a wonderful thing.

*

I went home early for the day. All that was left to do was paperwork and I could leave it piling on my desk until the following morning. No rush there.

Coruscant Medical Center is almost an hour away from the average apartment complex Kyp and I live in. I never wanted to live smack in the middle of all these important people, or rather those who think themselves important. As a Jedi Master, Kyp could have lived anywhere he wanted to but there was no way I wanted some pompous politician as a neighbor.

So _I_ decided further away was good. Kyp really didn’t have much say in the matter. But I think I made a convincing argument when I reminded him that this way he could spend a whole lot more time playing around with that yellow speeder of his.

Thinking about him made me smile while I walked towards a small public transport pad. A group of people were already waiting for the next transport to arrive. I parked my speeder in a huge multi-story parking deck but to get there, I had to move along the old fashioned way. It was only a five minute ride, thankfully.

So while waiting, I glanced around, not really paying attention to anyone in particular. My mind kept wandering off as to what I wanted to eat once I made it home. I already had a plan how I wanted to end the day – get home, jump into comfortable baggy clothes, make dinner and snuggle up on the sofa with Kyp and that was it.

Perfect way to end a day.

But that little day dream burst into a hundred tiny bubbles when I caught sight of a person I had never expected to see again. Not in a million years.

My blood ran cold when he smiled at me from afar.

The old man from the wedding. Not in uniform this time but by the Force I would recognize him anywhere. He had this creepiness about him and it made a shiver run along my spine. Why in the world was he _here_? At this very moment? _Smiling_ at me?

I blinked a few times, looked away and hoped that my mind was simply playing tricks on me but he was still there half a minute later, still looking at me with that awful smile around his lips. For a moment, I pondered whether or not to walk straight up to him and demand to know what he wanted. This couldn’t be a coincidence, could it?

I mean, sure, the galaxy was a huge place but this…it didn’t feel right. It felt so wrong on so many levels.

When the public transport finally arrived, I hurried aboard with the other passengers, trying my best not to look out through the side window. Maybe he’d left already and maybe I was just reading way too much into a harmless situation.

But as is with human curiosity, it got the better of me.

He was still there.

*

The first thing I did when I stepped off the transport was look over my shoulder. I kept catching myself doing this while heading to my speeder, always wondering if he was following me. Just like that the illusion of a safety bubble popped.

The trek to the parking deck took only a few minutes but these few minutes seemed to stretch into an eternity because all the while I had this fear in the back of my mind that I was being watched.

I hurried to unlock the speeder, threw my bag onto the passenger seat and locked all doors while settling in front of the controls. It took a while for me to catch my breath.

I wasn’t afraid because the man hadn’t given me a reason to be but I was confused and shaken up. I wanted to believe that he’d just recognized me from the wedding and it was his way of being polite but common sense told me something else entirely.

He had been there _watching_ me. It was just that simple.

I realized that my hands were shaking and I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. By the Force, what did this person want from me?

Reaching over to the passenger seat, I dug through my bag in a frantic search for my comlink. I nearly ripped my bag apart and when I finally found the comlink, I dropped it.

“Stop it.” I whispered to myself while closing my eyes. “Calm yourself.”

Still shaking, I leaned forward and felt my way underneath the seat. My fingers touched the cool material of the comlink and with a relieved sigh, I grabbed it. But my relief was short lived. Because right underneath the controls, the place where I usually kept a few stray cred coins, there lay a small silver badge.

At first I stared at it, confused. But then it was the shape that caught me by surprise. It was an old Imperial seal and by the looks of it, it was an authentic badge.

My grip around the comlink tightened when I realized that someone had been in my speeder. How else could an old Imperial badge end up here?

First the old man and now this?

I got out of the speeder, slowly. I wasn’t alone in the parking deck – the place was bustling with individuals but still I felt unsafe, open to the world and to all sorts of dangers.

I backed away from the speeder and activated my comlink.

If I hadn’t been afraid before, now I was about to panic.

*

Kyp knew that I only called him this early in the day when there was an emergency. So he answered almost immediately with the words: “What’s wrong?”

I didn’t even know where to start. Saying it out loud…it all seemed so _unreal_. I hardly had trouble with _anyone_ so why was I a target all of a sudden?

I told Kyp everything that had happened, about the old man and the Imperial badge in the speeder and he grew very quiet. For a moment there, I thought he wasn’t even on the line anymore.

“Stay there.” He said slowly. “I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

I blew out a breath of air and closed my eyes, while pacing the length of my speeder. “Alright.”

“And don’t worry, everything will be okay.”

I wasn’t so sure about that. Honestly, I wasn’t.

*

While I waited, I caught snippets of conversation. And when in a situation that you can’t control, your mind starts showing you the weirdest and craziest things. Everyone around me suddenly became a suspect.

Is this really just a family out for the day? Because they’re staring at you…

What about that guy over there loading his trunk with groceries and talking on his comlink? He’s giving you the evil eye…

I felt like I was slowly losing it.

Kyp hadn’t been lying when he said he’d there in a few minutes. He parked his speeder next to mine, a shiny yellow sporty thing that he tinkered with now and then. Kyp wasn’t even halfway out of the drivers’ seat when I ran towards him and hugged him. I felt safe with him because I knew he would do anything to keep me from harm. I didn’t want to let him go and I squeezed my eyes shut as if to block out the entire world. Just for a little while, I wanted everything to just stop.

He held me at arms’ length and I had to take a few deep breaths before I found I could even talk clearly.

“I’m not taking the speeder home.” I said, shaking my head. “He was in there. I know it was him.”

“You need to calm down.” Kyp said softly but _how_ could I be calm?

“I’m serious, Kyp. I’m not moving that speeder. I can’t. Not when I know…”

I was embarrassed to realize that tears were running down my cheeks.

Kyp gathered me into his arms and whispered soothing words and after a while, I was ready to tell him in detail what had happened. At least what I thought had happened.

I mean, at that moment, there just wasn’t any other explanation. This creepy old man had planted the Imperial seal into my speeder. Who else could it have been? And why for that matter?

“I’m going to take you home and I’ll have someone pick up the speeder later on, alright?” Kyp said and I nodded. “And then I’ll call Jag and see if he has a few images from the wedding that we can look through. Maybe you’ll recognize the guy and we can find out from there who he is.”

I blinked. “You believe me? That the same guy broke into my speeder?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know about that. But I want to know why he’s here following you.”

It all sounded so wrong. I cleared my throat. “Maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe he’s here on business or something.”

“I don’t believe in coincidences, Liz.” He extended a hand and I took it, grateful for the warming touch. “Come on. Let’s get you home.”


	10. Chapter 10

I sat on the sofa with my legs pulled to my chest while Kyp was in the other room quietly talking over the com. I felt bad that Kyp was disturbing Jag and Jaina’s honeymoon but he considered this an emergency and it seemed so did Jag. He’d had one of his aides send over all images taken at the wedding, including those taken by the professionals.

The man was quick. I was grateful for that.

The images were stored on a small data chip that now lay on the table in front of me. All I had to do was get up, walk into our office and look through the pictures on the holoscreen.

It felt like the most difficult thing to do.

I still wanted to believe that all this was one big mistake, that I was just way too jumpy and there would be a decent explanation for everything. But the moment I looked through the pictures, the moment I saw that man – I just knew that my hope would diminish.

“Let’s get this over with.” I said to myself, reaching forward to grab the data chip. I was up on my feet heading towards the office when Kyp came out looking pretty grim.

“I thought no one could reach them on their honeymoon?” I said conversationally, holding the data chip in a tight fist.

Kyp shrugged and smiled. “I’m special. I have everyone’s number.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“So you could reach the Chief of State, too?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Why would I want to do that? She’s not on my list of very important people.”

Chuckling to myself, I went to pass by him but he stopped me by placing a hand on my shoulder. When I turned around to face him, he sighed and the look on his face told me that there was something I wasn’t going to like.

“I need to head out for a little while.” He said quietly. “I know you don’t want to be alone –“

“No, I don’t.”

“That’s why I asked Nikk to stay with you until I get back. I still have something to finish with Master Skywalker.”

I raised my brows. “Nikk?”

“Yep.”

I narrowed my eyes on him when I realized he was having a hard time keeping a straight face. “You do know that I _will_ crack his head open.”

“Well, you can try –“

I smacked him one on the arm. He was enjoying this a bit too much.

See, Nikk Vox is your typical tall, dark and handsome kind of guy. How the _hell_ he made into Jedi Knighthood, I have no clue. I met him right around the time I met Kyp. It feels like a lifetime ago and even back then the two of us hadn’t gotten along too well. Nikk has a big mouth and he’s not afraid to use it and he doesn’t think before he acts, which gets him into all sorts of trouble. You can’t go out with the man because within an hour, he’ll have made enemies and they would want his head.

I sighed and rubbed my temples. “Why Nikk?”

“Come on, sweetheart.” Kyp said, playfully flicking my nose with his finger. “You trust Nikk, don’t you?”

I sighed. “Yeah.”

And I really did. Besides all his many faults, he was a good guy.

“And I won’t be gone for long.”

I didn’t really have much of a choice in the matter anyway. I really didn’t want to be alone – totally out of the question and a part of me was sort of looking forward to the banter with Nikk. It was fun annoying him.

“Fine.” I said, pursing my lips. “When’s he supposed to get here?”

My question was answered by the sound of the door chime.

*

Nikk strolled into the apartment as if he owned the entire damned planet. I had to admit, the man looked good. As usual, he did not wear Jedi robes as most of the others did – Nikk was a stylish person and he went all out when he could. Today, though, he kept the colors to a minimum, going with blacks and reds, matching the red streaks in his long dark hair.

Nikk has always had this thing with red. He even has beautiful red tattoos covering his back and half of his torso. What I did not remember were the earrings and the brow piercing. Yeah, our Nikk was a stylish fellow. It wouldn’t have surprised me if he secretly kept fashion holozines stacked under his bed.

“Hello, Nikk.” I said when he approached me with inhumanly large steps and grabbed me into a hug. He was so tall I had to crane my neck to look into his face.

As a greeting, he ruffled my hair. This time around, I let him have his fun.

“So I hear you have your own personal stalker.”

I didn’t know what to respond to that. Sure, his words were true but hearing them spoken out loud like that made this entire situation too real for my taste.

“I guess.”

“Don’t worry, Liz. We’ll find this maniac and kick him in the butt for you.” The grin that graced his face, from one ear to the other, was infectious. I didn’t want to smile for him and I fought, I fought so very hard but in the end the idiot Nikk succeeded in making me smile.

*

“I promise I won’t be long.” Kyp whispered. We stood at the door while Nikk was making himself quite comfortable on the sofa. Legs stretched out atop the table and a bottle of beer in his hand – yeah, feel right at home, Nikki.

“You’ll be alright.”

“I know.” I forced a reassuring smile for Kyp and heaved a sigh. “It’s just so awkward, that’s all. Never been in a situation like this before.”

“We’ve gotten through everything so far, haven’t we?”

I nodded.

“And this won’t be any different.”

He kissed me then, a soft kiss that lingered even after he had gone. When the door closed behind him, I went back into the living room and watched as Nikk surfed the channels of the entertainment system.

I hadn’t seen Nikk for a while but it seemed the man hadn’t changed a bit. “Feel like going through wedding pictures?”

Nikk glanced my way for a second and shook his head. “Not really.”

“What if I told you there are some pretty hot ladies to look at?”

His deep laugh all but echoed through the living room. He jumped up and placed his beer bottle on the table. “Then I’m all game.”

*

“Wait, wait. Go back one. Who’s that?”

I sighed. Why was I not surprised?

“Anja.”

Nikk stood behind me and leaned closer to get a better look at the image floating above the small holoprojector. We hadn’t even managed to get through half the pictures because Nikk kept asking questions about various female guests at the wedding.

This picture showed Anja smiling brightly and I had to admit it was a beautiful picture of her. I mean, she looked like such a decent young woman when in reality she was the complete opposite.

Yeah, Anja and Nikk would totally hit it off.

“She’s beautiful.”

“Yep.”

“Do you know her personally?”

“We’re friends.”

“Really?” He asked in a conspiratorial voice.

He leaned closer still, staring at the image as if memorizing each and every detail. I really didn’t like him hovering over me the way he did – I didn’t like anyone behind me in general and to top it off, Nikk smelled of beer.

“Your breath stinks.” I said, sliding my finger over the pad in front of me to see the next picture. From the corner of my eye I saw how Nikk raised his brows.

“You lie.”

I laughed a little and shook my head. “I never lie.”

“And you lie yet again you evil fiend!”

This is typical Nikk for you. Sometimes you would think the man took nothing seriously. The galaxy could be tipping to the side and Nikk would still be able to smile, he would find something amusing in the most morbid situation where others would rather run away – he was definitely one in a million.

“There’s candy and breathmints in the kitchen cabinet.” I swiveled my chair around and smiled at him.

“Candy, you say?”

If life were fair, Nikk would be really really big. If life were fair, we could tuck in his arms and legs and roll him around the place because he ate and ate and ate and ate and yet he was still skinny and athletic…so I knew when he went into the kitchen for food, he’d come back loaded.

“Keep away from the cookies, though.” I called after him, going back to the wedding pictures.

“Why?”

I heard the slight hiss as he opened the cabinets. “Because they’re Kyp’s.”

“So?”

About five minutes later he returned with a bowl full of cookies and candy, including a cup filled to the rim with overly sweet fizz juice stuff – my teeth could so not handle so much sugar on one go. And Nikk looked like a big kid with a grin on his face while holding his dinner in both hands.

I raised my brows at the cookies. “Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“They’re just cookies.”

“I know. Kyp’s cookies. He’s very protective of his cookies.”

Nikk pulled a spare chair up and sat next to me. I was getting tired and thinking about calling it a night because after more than two hundred pictures, I was already losing focus. Sure, the images were beautiful. In this day and age, it’s rare to see powerful people happy in public. Jaina and Jag’s pictures were breathtaking, especially one where they stood outside on the balcony of the Crytal Palace, holding one another while smiling at each other. They, at least, had their fairy tale ending.

 Absentmindedly I wondered when they were going to have their first child…

The next few images were nothing out of the ordinary. Pictures of the floral decorations, the table decorations and images of the live band on stage. And standing in front of the stage was the old man.

I sat up straight all of a sudden and zoomed into the picture, magnifying the old man’s face to take a better look at him. I still had no idea who this man was. He didn’t look familiar in the least. 

“Is that the guy?” Nikk asked in a dark voice.

“Yes. And I’ve never seen him before.” I saved the image on a portable data stick and switched off the projector. I had enough for one day. “I don’t get it, Nikk.” I rubbed my eyes and stifled a yawn. “I just don’t get it.”

He placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. He didn’t say anything because there just wasn’t anything to say.


	11. Chapter 11

I never considered myself to be an impatient person but I hated waiting. Sitting on the sofa and trying to ignore the horrible reality show my new babysitter was watching – suffice it to say, the girls were tall and lean and overall pretty fake –, I kept looking at the time, wondering when Kyp would return.

It was great that I wasn’t alone but I didn’t feel like opening up to Nikk with my fears about the old man from the picture. I was even more confused than I was before because I knew for a fact that I did not know this person. My mind kept jumping back to my speeder, to the Imperial seal, to him watching me while on my way home…how long had he been at this?

Nikk’s rumbling laugh ripped me out of my thoughts and I took a deep breath. Thinking about this wouldn’t make it go away so I needed a distraction until Kyp got home. I thought about calling him but whatever he had to do, I doubted it would be wise to disturb him. I could call Anja but she would be more freaked out than I was and bring along a ton full of weapons as protection. That’s Anja for you. Such a sweetheart.

My comlink chirped. It was a bit of normality in this chaotic jumble of thoughts and I appreciated the distraction. I got up from the sofa and walked into the kitchen, grabbing the comlink from the counter. I answered with a short hello but there was no response in return. I heard nothing for a moment, just static.

“Hello?” I asked again, frowning.

Still, there was no response. So I cut the connection.

I would have put it off as a wrong call of sorts, if the comlink hadn’t went off again a few seconds later. The same as before – no answer, static.

I went back into the living room, laying the comlink on the table when the thing chirped yet again. I looked to Nikk. “Would you answer that, please?”

He shrugged and used a deep, sultry silly voice to answer – like a voice you would hear over an erotic hotline – but still no response.

And that’s when the high pitched melody of the home com line sounded through the living room and that’s when I realized that something was wrong. Nikk came to the same conclusion because he jumped up and answered the com in the office.

All we heard was someone breathing.

“Mind telling me who the hell you are?” Nikk asked, staring at me with a look on his face that I couldn’t really place.

The person on the com line started to laugh. A deep, menacing laugh that made my skin crawl. And the words he spoke shattered the illusion that all this would be cleared up by morning.

“Eliziya, darling, I did say we’d meet again, didn’t I?” He laughed again and cut the connection.

I started shaking, stunned and completely clueless what to do next. This was my home, my safe haven, the place I went after a long day in the outside world, a place where I could relax and simply forget. He’d destroyed it. With one simple call, he’d destroyed everything.

It was a violation that I couldn’t even put into words.

“Pack a few things, Liz. I’m getting you out of here.” Nikk said and he didn’t have to tell me twice.

*

I stared out the window while Nikk swerved his speeder through traffic on our way to meet up with Kyp at the Jedi temple. Nikk had called ahead and let him know what had happened and even though I yearned to hear his voice, I knew I would’ve started to cry like a little baby had I spoken to him. It was never like me to break down like this but I felt so vulnerable, completely open to the world and that scared the hell out of me.

I sat hugging myself in the passenger seat, feeling cold from the inside as well as from the outside. All I wanted was to feel warm again, to feel safe again.

It was an indescribable feeling knowing that you had no control over a situation in your life. Normally, you held everything in your own hands but the moment that control is taken away from you…it feels like the universe is crashing onto you and everyone can see who you really are. If it’s so easy for one person to get this close to you, it has to be easy for others as well, right?

“I swear, Liz, we’ll find this guy.”

I knew Nikk meant well but I couldn’t find the nerve to answer. I just had a feeling that things weren’t going to be so easy.

*

Nikk grabbed my hand when we walked up to the front desk of the temple and I was grateful that the man was so tall. I could hide behind him if I had to and with so many unknown people around us, I did just that. I didn’t care about seeming like your typical damsel in distress – I was just too tired to care.

The girl at the desk smiled kindly and let us through to the private turbo lifts without questions. This area was closed off to the general public and I breathed a relieved sigh the moment the doors closed in front of us. It was then I realized that I was gripping Nikk’s hand like a lifeline and I let go with an apologetic shrug.

“How’re you holding up?” He asked softly.

I cleared my throat, crossing my arms in front of my chest. How the hell was I supposed to answer that?

“I don’t know, Nikk.”

He laid his arm around my shoulders and hugged me briefly. When the doors opened again we stepped out into a grand foyer. I was always amazed at how brilliant the temple was – there were statues of Jedi Masters at the front entrance, all sorts of artifacts encased in forcefields along the entryway and up here everything seemed to gleam and twinkle when light shone off the marble walls.

Nikk pulled me along until we met two Jedi Knights stationed in front of a pair of double doors – the conference room.

They gave us a once over but otherwise ignored us, which I found decidedly rude. Had I been in a different state of mind, I would have said as much.

“Hello, ladies.” Nikk said with a beaming smile. I raised my brows but stayed quiet, wondering what these youngsters would do next. “Mind stepping aside? We have an appointment and you’re in the way.”

“We weren’t informed.” The older of the two said, leveling a dark gaze on Nikk.

“And I care because…”

“You’re not permitted inside.” He said this in a voice that would usually make anyone turn around but not us and definitely not Nikk.

“Listen up, sweetheart.” Nikk stepped up towards the Jedi Knight in question and I noted how he swallowed as Nikk came closer. Nikk was an imposing man, that much was certain and anyone in their right mind would be careful when dealing with him. As cute and as nice as he could be, he could be quite the hardball as well. “You will step aside. Don’t think that’s too complicated a thing to do, even for your mediocre mind. So what’s it going to be, hm?” Nikk crossed his arms in front of his chest, which made him seem even taller. “Either you get out of my way, or I will make you.”

The other Jedi Knight jumped in between the two, palms held upward in a gesture to placate. “You should leave. We’re under orders not to let anyone in while the Council is in session.”

“This is an emergency.” I said quietly. “Please. Will you send word to Master Durron?”

The older Jedi Knight, I noted, was about to argue again. But I shook my head and took a step towards him. “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t important. Please.”

I suppose whatever the Council was discussing seemed to be high priority and a part of me felt bad for disturbing them but this was important as well and I knew Kyp would want to know right away what was going on.

“Very well.” The older Jedi Knight nodded once before turning on his heel, all military style, and opening the doors. We saw the large oval table at which the Masters sat, including a few people sitting in the back and listening in to the session. I turned away and took a deep breath, closing my eyes for a moment.

Not even a minute later the Jedi Knight came out of the Council chambers with Kyp at his heels. I ran towards him, throwing my arms around his neck and I simply held him. He felt so real to me at that moment, so much more real than anything else in the galaxy. He was my anchor to sanity while everything else seemed to be slipping away.

“Don’t let go.” I whispered softly, fighting tears. “Just don’t let me go.”

*

Kyp led us into a little office area after excusing himself from the meeting. Nikk explained what had happened back at the apartment. I didn’t much care for explaining the obvious. I stood near a tall window, the only window in the small office. I looked out over the city, sighing at the sheer beauty of what I saw. I loved my home, I really did and even if I didn’t want to admit it sometimes, this is where I wanted to spend my life.

Though at times like this I had to ask myself whether that was wise. There were so many people on this planet, too many people – you lost sight of things so quickly. You lost control.

“Liz.”

Kyp laid a hand on my shoulder and I turned towards him. I tried to give him a brave little smile but I failed. I felt my lip quiver but I didn’t want to cry. I’m not the kind of person that breaks down this easily and I was surprised at myself, at the whirling emotions that I couldn’t get a grip on.

“I’m alright.” I said quietly. I’m no good at lying but it was worth a shot.

He gathered me into his arms and I reveled in the feel of his warmth around me. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, laying my head on his chest and simply listened to the beat of his heart. I doubt it was healthy gripping to him this way – I had this notion in the back of my mind that no one could harm me if Kyp was there and maybe I was just grasping at straws, trying to make this entire situation half as bad as it was.

“Nikk said you found the man on one of the pictures.”

I nodded. “Yeah. Never seen the guy before.” I entangled myself from his warm embrace and brought the data stick out of my pants pocket. He took it with a reassuring smile. I stepped to the side so he had better access to the computer system stationed on the desk.

There was a slight humming sound in the air when the screen lit up. Kyp inserted the disk into a little slot at the side of the hologram projector and a second later, the face of the old man showed up, floating in mid air.

I felt nothing when I saw the man’s face. He was a stranger, like anyone else I would walk past on the streets. To me, this person was an absolute nobody but, it seemed, not to Kyp.

I blinked when I noted how he straightened up, how his muscles bunched and how the expression on his face changed from worry to anger within a heartbeat.

I frowned at him. “You know him, don’t you?”

He took a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. I noticed how his shoulders slumped after a moment of silence and even Nikk raised his brows at the sudden defeat he sensed in Kyp’s demeanor.

“Kyp, who is he?” I asked slowly, adrenaline surging through my veins.

Kyp sat down behind the desk and rubbed his face before leaning back in the chair and folding his hands atop his stomach. “A former imperial officer. Darvis Vance.” He turned my way and the look in his eyes – hurt and remorse, fear and anger.

“What about him?” From the corner of my eye, I saw Nikk make himself comfortable in a low chair facing towards the window I had been looking through just minutes earlier. He stretched long legs forward and watched us as if he were watching a ball game.

It took Kyp a long moment before he answered, before he met my stare head on. “I…um…told you about those threats I received? About how someone wanted to hurt you because you were with me?”

I nodded. Of course I remembered. How could I forget? “It was the reason you left.” I choked out, not liking where this was going. “It’s him, isn’t it?”

There was pure sorrow on Kyp’s face when he nodded. “Yes.” It was a barely audible, whispered word.

“My Stars…” I ran a hand through my hair and shook my head. It was starting to make sense, at least a part of all this. When the old man – Darvis Vance – had said that some people didn’t have the right to be happy, he’d meant Kyp. He’d watched us throughout the entire wedding…

“Do you think he’ll try and make good on his threat this time?” I asked slowly.

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t understand.” I shook my head, frowning. “Why now? Why does he turn up again after so many years?”

It was obvious to me that this Darvis Vance character definitely had more than just a few screws loose up in that lunatic head of his.

Kyp pushed away from the desk. I was unsure what to do next. Of all the things, this I had not expected. I had thought that threats of hurting me to hurt Kyp were over and done with. I guess I was wrong.

“Should we take this seriously?” I asked.

“Definitely.”

“Why…” I cleared my throat and gently touched Kyp’s arm. “Why didn’t you tell me about him before?”

“Because he’d left. After…” He swallowed but I knew what he wanted to say. After he had left me. “When he realized that I had left Coruscant without you, he disappeared. I don’t know what he wants now.” He sighed and shook his head. “I’m so sorry, Liz. This is all my fault.”

“Kyp, no. This is not your fault. How can –“

“His sons died on Carida. They were just about to graduate, I believe. Twin boys. They died because of what I did. And because of what I did, Vance is here. It’s that simple. So yeah, it is my fault.”

I let the news settle in for a moment. I didn’t know what to say. Even Nikk simply sat back quietly, for once knowing when to keep his big mouth shut.

This Vance person – he scared me, he really did. How deranged could a person be to do something like this? Stalk an innocent? And for what?

“This is not your fault.” I said, shaking my head.

“He wants me to suffer like he did.” Kyp said slowly, the hurt and pain he felt evident on his features. “He said as much last time we came face to face.”

My eyes widened. “Last time? You never told me –”

“It wasn’t important. It was over and done with.”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest. “Apparently it wasn’t.”

Silence was thick around us, unnatural and unnerving. I had a lot to think about, that much was obvious. At that moment, I had no idea whatsoever how I was supposed to react to this. I had a right to know about this Vance person, I had a right to know that he had threatened my life – I was angry that Kyp had kept it from me. I know it wouldn’t have made a difference but, dammit, I had a right to know.

“You should have told me.”

There was defiance behind those green eyes that almost made me smirk. Stubborn until the end.

“I had my reasons.”

I snorted and shook my head. “Yeah, I bet you did.”

Nikk jumped up and stretched loudly, groaning like some backwater animal. He got our attention alright and surprisingly, the tension in the room seemed to seep away.

“I know one thing for certain.” He said. “You can’t go home.”

I nodded and rubbed my temples. I was so tired, so strung out, completely exhausted. I yearned for a soft bed and a few hours of sleep. I needed peace and quiet to clear my mind.

“I’ll call Anja.” Kyp said, moving around the desk towards the office door. But he stopped and his gaze caught mine. I could see remorse in his look, I saw that he was sorry and I understood that. But it still irked me that he had kept all this from me.

For my own good, no doubt.

I wished he’d stop being so damned overprotective.

“I’m sorry, Liz.” He whispered before heading out.


	12. Chapter 12

On the way to Anja’s place, Kyp and I hardly spoke. I wasn’t angry at him, not really, more a bit disappointed. For a moment there, the thought that he didn’t trust me enough to share the information about Vance wandered through my mind but common sense told me that wasn’t the case. It irked me, I’ll admit to that.

So while Nikk sat in front of the controls – he demanded loudly he be the one to fly – I sat in the back staring out the window yet again. I did this a lot. On the inside looking out, freedom staring back at me; freedom I wasn’t part of. I was locked up in a world of darkness and the moment I thought I could breathe freely again, something else came up.

It was getting to me, it really was. Would I ever be able to lead a normal life? I left the Jedi for a reason. I wanted an average life with a happy family. From my point of view, it started to look like a dream rather than reality. A normal life – I was beginning to think it wasn’t possible.

We got to Anja’s little domain a while later. Nikk parked the speeder and I led the way from the park deck up towards the building. It was already getting dark and what a day this had been. All I wanted at that moment was some peace and quiet and a soft bed.

“Wait, wasn’t Anja the chick from the picture this afternoon?”

I shook my head but smiled at Nikk’s question. “Yeah.”

His grin reached from one ear to the other. He turned towards Kyp, walking backwards the rest of the way down a long corridor. “Are we staying here tonight?”

“You haven’t changed a bit, have you?” Kyp asked.

“I think Anja’s going to give him a run for his money, though.” I winked at him. “She isn’t an easy catch.”

“Great. I like a challenge.”

Smiling to myself, we stopped in front of Anja’s door. I was just about to touch the buzzer when the door opened and Anja glared at me. It was like looking at my Mom when I’d done something stupid as a child. The same stance – hands on hips, tapping of a foot, brows arched…

I sighed. “Hello Anja.”

“You are such an idiot.” My stars, the woman yelled at me.

I took a step back and made a face. “Excuse me?”

“So Kyp has to tell me about this stranger stalking you because you don’t have the guts to do it yourself?”

“What?” Suffice it to say, I was confused by this sudden outburst.

Anja suddenly pulled me into her arms. I was so stunned that I couldn’t move. Plus, she nearly squeezed me half to death. I could hardly breathe. “Anja…” I coughed.

“You’re my best friend, Liz!” She stepped back and I actually saw tears glittering in her eyes. “If you need me, I’m here for you. Don’t shut me out.”

I raised my brows. “Are you on drugs?”

Playfully, she slapped my arm and laughed. Which was good because I wasn’t used to this worrying Mom-like Anja at all. It was at that point that she noticed Nikk.

Ah yes.

The sparks.

All over the place.

Colorful sparks.

Magic for a romantic holomovie.

Nikk stepped forward and took Anja’s hand in his. And like a gentleman, he raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles. It was almost too much to watch – I had a hard time keeping a straight face.

“Hello there, beautiful.” Nikk said in a deep voice, the sort of voice any woman would find attractive. In fact, I’m pretty sure most women would find Nikk attractive in general. Tall, dark and handsome, strikingly blue eyes, broad shoulders, athletically built…he was a looker, I have to admit to that.

“And who might you be?” Anja asked with a drop dead gorgeous smile.

With a grunt, I took Kyp’s hand and led the way into Anja’s apartment, my second home. While Anja and Nikk got acquainted – she was already laughing at something Nikk said – we walked down the hallway towards the living room.

Anja lived in a spacious home. One large living room, an inhumanly large kitchen, one of those freshers the average person could only dream of, two guest rooms and an enormous bedroom for herself. And she had a knack for decorations, believe it or not. When it came to living space, she was your typical girl.

Each room had a different color theme. When you walked into the fresher, it reminded you of a vast ocean. The kitchen…well, something out of a restaurant, really. We used to cook together, when Jaina was still part of the team, so to speak.

The living area was held in dark earthy tones. You walked into the room and you immediately felt comfortable. But I wasn’t aiming for the sofa – I passed it and headed to the kitchen. I needed food and a drink. After a day like this, who could blame me?

And Anja usually stacked her cabinets full with sweets, which was perfect. Kyp laughed while he watched me rummage for that bit that I called ultimate soulfood. I knew her kitchen like the back of my hand so I knew all her little hiding places, too.

I collected chocolate and chewie cookies and placed them on the counter next to a bowl filled with an assortment of fruits. In between the average little red berries and starfruits, I saw Anja had gotten a few pieces of nebula fruit. I actually don’t know the real name but when you cut them open, the assortment of colors inside remind you of a nebula. Hence, the nickname.

And they’re deliciously sweet. Ignoring the chocolate and the cookies for the time being, I opened a drawer and got out a knife. Then I went to manhandling the nebula fruit. I was all for slicing that thing open and I think it was evident in the way I not only held the knife – attack position and all that – but also in the eyes. I hungered for this piece of fruit.

“I’m surprised it’s not running for its life.” Kyp said with a grin. “Your intent is to kill it.”

I shrugged. “I’m hungry. I need nourishment.”

“You need sugar.”

“Nourishment and sugar – it’s the same thing.” I glanced up at him and halted for a second. He was leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed over his chest. His hair was a mess around his head, strands of his dark tresses falling into his face while the other part was pulled back into a ponytail. His green eyes held that twinkle of mischief and I would have loved to know what he was thinking at that moment.

I was thinking what a handsome man he was. I was thinking that I was the luckiest woman in the galaxy to have him all to myself. I was thinking that I loved him and that he meant the world to me and that I would do anything in my power to make sure nothing ever got between us again.

Including this debacle with Vance.

I smiled at him –

\-- and then chopped down on the poor, helpless fruit with vigor.

Kyp made a sympathetic face and came towards me. “I feel sorry for the poor thing.”

“It wants to be eaten, believe me. Or else it wouldn’t be so tasty.” I opened the drawer again and took out a little spoon. The opened fruit smelled mouthwateringly yummy; I was almost too anxious to eat.

I took the fruit into one hand, the spoon in the other and turned towards Kyp. “Want a bite?”

He gave me a scrutinizing look. “I don’t know…it’s so colorful.”

“I know!” I exclaimed. “That’s the best part. Here.”

I gobbled up a little of the fruit and held the spoon out to Kyp. He raised a brow, as if not trusting my exquisite taste. I laughed at him. “Come on. It won’t bite.”

“It looks poisonous.”

“No, it doesn’t. Stop being such a baby and have a taste.”

He chuckled at that part. “I’m not a baby.”

“Prove it.”

He came forward very slowly, like out on a prowl, eyeing me with the tiniest of smiles playing around his lips. My heart sped up at the look in his eyes, a look of longing. I nearly dropped the spoon, I swear.

“What if I don’t like it?” He whispered when he was only inches away from me. I could feel heat radiating off his body and it made me tremble when he came closer still. The scent of his spicy cologne was heady, intoxicating.

“I guarantee you will.”

“What if I don’t?”

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“How?”

I bit my lower lip and smiled. He was teasing me and he was enjoying it. And so was I, of course. Took my mind off about everything that existed because at that moment – it was only Kyp and myself.

“You know how… _creative_ …I can be.” I arched one brow suggestively and couldn’t hold back the grin surfacing on my face. “Are you brave enough to take a bite, my dear Jedi?”

One arm went around my waist as he pulled me closer. I was still holding the spoon in my hand, trying not to make a mess. I shifted position, angling the spoon closer to his mouth. “You know you want to.” I said. “Even if only to make me shut up.”

He chuckled. “Why would I want you to shut up? I love the sound of your voice.” He leaned closer and kissed my neck, breathing in deeply before straightening up again. And then – yes! He took a bite of the yummy, colorful nebula fruit.

And I almost melted then and there.

I placed the spoon aside and watched his face. I knew he liked the taste by the way he raised a brow and by the way he tried to hide a smile. But I think he tried to frown on purpose…

I laughed at him and shook my head. “I love you, you silly man.”

He kissed me then and what a wonderful kiss it was. I trembled underneath his gentle touch and when our lips met, it was blissful to the last. Stars, he was absolutely perfect and I didn’t want this moment to end.

“And I love you.” He whispered near my ear, making a shiver run along my spine. “You mean everything to me, Liz.” He touched his forehead to mine and closed his eyes. It was such an intimate moment, just the two of us. I knew that he was thinking about Vance, just as I was. And I couldn’t help but wonder if Darvis Vance was more of a threat than I thought.

“I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you.” Kyp said and placed a kiss on my cheek. “You’re my life, Liz.”

I cannot put into words the feelings coursing through me when I heard him say exactly what was on my mind as well. At times it was like I’d found my soul mate, the man I wanted to spend eternity with. I could count on him, I could trust him and I knew he would lay his life on the line to protect me. And so would I to protect him.

We were a team in all things that life through at us and I knew that, together, we would make it.

I smiled a little mischievously. “You know what would really be nice?”

“Hm?”

“If I were the one to save your butt for once.”

He laughed at that and cupped my face in both hands. “You’ve already saved me, Liz. Countless times.”

Content, I sighed.

Seriously, I felt like the luckiest woman in the galaxy.


	13. Chapter 13

We had dinner together. Nikk, Kyp, Anja and myself. Even though we had this wondrous kitchen to use, Anja ordered take out. How could you say no when it was her treat?

She ordered from this little Sullustan place that sold almost anything the heart desired. I chose a simple Corellian dish with rice and a delicious tasting sauce. But even though it smelled mouth watering, I didn’t feel like eating.

Unlike Nikk. It’s like he’s always hungry. He always has the munchies. Not only did he order enough to feed at least three people, he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively and nodded towards my untouched food, as well. “You gonna eat that?”

I pushed it across the table and sat back. “Have at it.”

“Someday you’re going to be really fat.” Kyp said with a smirk, munching on some sort of odd looking meat.

“Never.” Nikk said with a grin. “You just need to know how to keep in shape, is all.” His eyes wandered towards Anja, who smiled before taking a sip from a goblet of red wine.

I was so not in the mood to listen to Nikki’s ambiguous flirtations.

“Will you excuse me for a little while?” I said, pushing away from the table. “I want to go lay down for a bit.”

I didn’t wait for anyone to say anything. I did notice them whispering before I headed to the guestroom but I honestly didn’t care.

The guestroom was small compared to the rest of the apartment but big enough to fit in a huge bed, a dresser and a closet. I felt wonderfully comfortable here. I sat down on the bed and blew out a breath. Closing my eyes, I focused only on myself. I gathered the Force about me and used its energy to try and cleanse my mind, to be free of these awful images my mind kept conjuring up. I relaxed a little, enough to lay down and maybe catch some sleep but not enough to chase the images away.

I heard the door to the guestroom open a while later. I felt Kyp’s presence like a light beacon in my suddenly dark new world. He lay down beside me, my back to his chest, snuggling closer while laying his arm around my waist.

“Anja’s worried about you.” He whispered, placing a light kiss on my neck. “And so am I.”

I tried not to sigh. I was grateful for having Anja as my best friend in the galaxy and even more grateful for Kyp being at my side but there’s only so much you can take when the whole are-you-okay routine gets on your nerves. “There’s nothing to worry about.” I said slowly, hoping my voice sounded even. Although through the Force I’m sure Kyp noted my irritation. “I’m fine.”

Kyp slid away from me, onto his back. I turned towards him, feeling his absence like a little blow into my gut. I could lie to myself all I wanted but it wouldn’t change the fact that I wanted him close. He stared up to the ceiling, laying one hand on his belly while he shoved the other underneath his head. I took a good look at him in the light spilling through from the large window opposite us. He was the best kind of guy I could ever hope for and it became clear to me that I had to accept that he was worried, that he was trying to help. I needed to cut down with the strong woman thing and let him be the protector for a little while.

Kyp closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He looked gorgeous laying there as if he were about to fall asleep. He’d taken off his Jedi attire, including his utility belt. He wore a thin white long sleeved shirt that stuck to him most graciously. With a sigh, I snuggled closer. I lay my head on his chest and entangled one leg with his. His hand came down to play with my hair. I looked out through the window as we quietly enjoyed one another’s company.

“We need a vacation.” He said suddenly, his voice low.

I chuckled. “We’ve been saying that for months.”

“I know.”

“Where would we go?” I asked softly, moving my fingers up towards his neck. “Somewhere far away where no one can find us?”

“Sounds great to me.”

“And we could stay there.”

Kyp smiled as he sat up slowly. “Tempting thought.”

In the near dark of the room I could feel his eyes on me as I sat up next to him. I pulled my legs to my chest and wrapped my arms around my knees, sighing while I felt content just having him close to me. It was really nice being alone for a while.

“What’s on your mind?” He asked gently, reaching out to run his fingers down the column of my throat. I closed my eyes at his fleeting touch.

“Everything.” I answered with a sigh. “Just…everything.”

I stifled a yawn and leaned into him. He laid his arm around me, pulling me closer. “You’re safe here, Liz. I hope you know that.”

I laughed. “Of course I know that. I have you here and I’m pretty sure you’d crack some skulls just to keep me safe.”

He laughed at that. “And then there’s Nikk. He’d enjoy putting some hurt on someone.”

“Oh and so would Anja, too.” I sighed while I grasped at his shirt. I closed my eyes and felt myself relax for the first time that day. And what a hell of a day it had been and although I was tired and exhausted, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was just the start of a long and tiring if not even gruesome journey.

Frowning into the dark, I shook those thoughts away and lifted my head. Kyp was looking down at me – that look in his eyes made me shiver. There were so many emotions playing behind his eyes, feelings he only showed me. Outside in this turbulent world we live in, he would never admit to any sort of weakness. He would never admit that I was his weakness.

“Kiss me.” I said, an almost inaudible whisper. He obliged, most willingly and most passionately.

*

I woke up to the incessant annoying beeping tone of my comlink. I had stashed it into the pocket of my pants earlier before we’d left for Anja’s place. It might have been smarter to just leave it at home but sometimes clients would call me when they needed help and the thought that I couldn’t be there for them in a crisis situation…I didn’t even want to go there.

I sat up and realized Kyp wasn’t there anymore. I felt my hands start to shake when I went for the comlink but I forced myself to get my act together. At some point I was going to have to fess up and face what was coming for me so what better time to start than now?

I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my disheveled hair. Then closing my eyes – as if knowing this wasn’t going to be a social call – I activated the link. “Hello?”

“Do you like children, Eliziya?”

I grabbed the sheets around me in one hand, twisting the soft fabric into my fist when I heard that deep drawl of a voice. It sent shivers running along my spine. My heartbeat picked up and I had to take controlled breaths just to keep my anger at bay.

“What do you want from me?” I hissed between my teeth.

He chuckled and I could just imagine the evil glint in his eyes. And to think, at first, I had thought he was an average old man. How wrong a first impression could really be…

“Your cooperation, of course.” He paused just for a moment. “But I believe you to be adamant in not helping me with my cause.”

“Which cause would this be? Destroying other peoples’ lives?”

“My dearest, I believe your Master Durron is an ace at destroying lives, don’t you think? It’s really a paradox. He’s a mass murderer and you strive to help those in need. It never made sense to me.”

“Nor should it. It’s none of your business.”

“Oh but it is. And back to my earlier question. Do you like children, my dear?”

My skin crawled. The way he asked, the way his voice dipped…by the Gods, this man creeped the hell out of me. “What do you want?”

“I saw you with two children earlier today. A boy and a girl. Brother and sister I believe.”

For a moment, I thought I couldn’t breathe anymore. I felt like the world was closing in on me, the walls crashing on top of me. I was trapped.

“They’re beautiful children.” He continued. “Very trustworthy as well. Who wouldn’t be forthcoming towards a decorated Imperial officer?”

“You son-of-a –“

“The boy is very protective of his sister, Eliziya. Did you know that?”

Of course I knew that. Leo loved his sister to no end. But how the hell had Vance found out about them? My worst fear – that he held them in his grasp – seemed to grow ever more real when I heard a muffled cry in the background.

“I’m giving you exactly thirty minutes to meet me at Pier Ninety-One. If you’re not here on time, I will kill the little girl.”

He cut the connection, leaving me shaking and spiraling down a rollercoaster of emotions. The open minded and rational part of me knew that he had to be lying. There was no way he could have gotten to Leo and Tamira. They were living in one of many orphanages on Coruscant and never would a stranger be permitted anywhere near the children, not even a supposedly decorated Imperial officer.

So one part of me knew he was definitely lying.

But the other part wasn’t so sure. I kept asking myself what if? What if he wasn’t lying? What if Tamira was about to lose her life because I didn’t show up? What if both Leo and Tamira could die because of me?

No matter how insane, no matter how unlikely – the mere possibility was enough to get me moving. I would not let this sit on me. If anything happened to those kids, I would never forgive myself.

I placed the comlink on the bedside table and got up. Inwardly, I hoped that maybe Anja or Nikk could find a way to trace back the call. It was the only clue I could leave.

There was no way in hell Kyp would let me go. And neither would Anja or Nikk. Nikk would be the one to knock me out, as it were. So I had to sneak passed them but I had no clue how.

I took another deep breath before exiting the guestroom. It was oddly quiet when I entered the living room. I heard Anja in the kitchen, humming a soft tone while she seemed to be cleaning. But there was no sign of either Kyp or Nikk.

I couldn’t be that lucky, could I?

I snuck passed the kitchen on my toes, like a teenager making a run for it to a secret date. Anja didn’t notice a thing. I tried making my presence as small as possible in the Force. Both Kyp and Nikk would be able to pinpoint me even from a few kilometers away.

I made it to the front door without any sort of interruption and even when I stepped out, no one got into my way.

Taking the stairs rather than the turbolift – I had a feeling that Kyp and Nikk had only stepped out for a few minutes and they wouldn’t be using the stairs – I jumped down the flights of stairs and ran as fast as I could.

I remembered Kyp’s words; that I’d be safe here at Anja’s place…the moment I stepped out into the open…

I hoped I wasn’t making the biggest mistake of my life.


	14. Chapter 14

The pier, or rather the industrial docking platform, was bathed in darkness when I arrived. I’d taken a public transport, needing only about ten minutes to get there.

A cold fist clenched around my heart when I walked out into the dark. The heels of my boots clicked softly. It was unnaturally quiet around here and I swallowed a lump in my throat, hugging myself to ward off the cold.

I felt stupid for coming alone. I kept telling myself that I should have told Kyp and he would have accompanied me and dealt with Vance as needed to be dealt with. He could hold his own in most any situation. Somehow I thought that it would be safer for him this way. Laughable thought, really. How in the world could I even begin to keep Kyp safe? He was a natural survivor.

What if Vance truly had knowledge about Leo and Tamira, if he truly had managed to get his hands on them…I didn’t even want to go down that road.

A handful of large ships sat in their designated areas. I heard my footsteps echo around me, I heard my breath and the beating of my heart. It was odd, this silence on Coruscant. Like the quiet before the storm.

“I didn’t believe you’d come.”

I spun around and took an involuntary step back as Vance came out of the shadows. At the wedding I had thought him a senile old man, perhaps even a bit reminiscent of the old ways but now he oozed a dark danger that I hadn’t expected. He was taller than I was; I had to raise my eyes to meet his. He wore a strange looking combat suit with a utility belt slung around his waist and I was pretty surprised by all the weapons he sported.

I, of course, had come unarmed.

If stupidity hurt…

“You threatened the children.”

“And you believed me.”

Lying son of a Sith. Admittedly, I should have seen this coming. I was stupid thinking I could make a difference. I’m not some super woman who could simply blast this guy from the face of the planet, I’m just me, an average individual who, now, was more or less pretty much afraid for her life.

Well…I played with the thought of simply turning around to leave but I doubted he’d make it that simple for me. And I was right because he drew a blaster and pointed it towards me. Wonderful.

“You’re a sad old man.” I said in a low voice. I took another cursory look around the landing pad. There were several hiding places among the large ships but too wide a space to actually make a run for it. He could blast me without me even seeing him.

Inwardly I cursed myself for even believing him for a second! Leo and Tamira were safe at the orphanage and here I was…putting myself out in danger. And for what?

For this man’s amusement?

“I would like to understand you.” He said, inclining his head while he stepped forward, the blaster with my name on it moving with each step he took. “Your reasons for choosing a life with a murderer.”

I frowned at him. “And the life you’ve led is alright?”

“I followed orders. You –“

“I follow my heart.”

“Then your heart is as black as his.”

He pulled the trigger. I felt a nibble at the nape of my neck, a sense of danger so acute that I jumped aside just in time. I ran towards the nearest ship that had a few crates stacked around it. I hid behind one, listening to my surroundings, holding my breath when I heard him come closer.

“I think I’ll rather enjoy this.” Vance said conversationally. I hoped that he would pass by the crates and that I could surprise him from behind. I knew how to fight. Force knew, Kyp drilled all sorts of fighting tactics into my brain over the years.

And my luck had it that his back was turned to me a moment later. As quietly as I could, I straightened up. I wondered how best to attack someone with a blaster. In a blink of an eye he could turn around and shoot me and I wasn’t too fond of the idea of having a smoking hole somewhere in my body.

I felt a sense of urgency through the Force and ducked in time before Vance turned on his heel and shot. I tackled him and we both fell to the ground. The blaster slid away, too far away for either of us to grab, which was a good thing. I felt confident that I could take this old man down in an old fashioned fist fight.

I was mistaken, of course.

Vance hadn’t been an Imperial Officer for nothing.

The man could fight.

I kept having to ward off his rather hard blows and I noted how my arm grew numb from blocking his countless punches. I kicked out and caught his chest and he stumbled back just a bit but he was right back in fighting form just seconds later. This went on for minutes and neither one of us was tiring yet. Without the blaster he couldn’t shoot so I actually had a chance to simply run away.

I punched at his head, caught his jaw but he returned the favor. I felt like my head had been snapped off my shoulders; I tasted blood on my lips and on my tongue. Stumbling backward, I caught myself just in time before I saw his foot a bit too close to my face. I spun around and backhanded him, which caught him off guard for a few seconds.

Just enough time for me to run.

And I ran as fast as I could. My legs burned from the exertion, my lungs felt like they were about to burst. But the worst thing of all was the hope that I would make it, that I could run fast and long enough to get away from this maniac. I could already see the lights of the city up ahead; all I needed to do was reach a populated area.

There was a sharp sting in my arm. I stopped running and almost instantly I felt dizzy. I glanced down and reached up with my other hand – it was a small dart. A tranquilizer dart I realized a moment later when I started to sway on my legs.

I looked behind me, trying to talk but my body wasn’t obeying. My eyesight began to blur but I caught another figure standing next to Vance. I saw him clearly, a young man who smiled at me, holding up the dartgun and waving it back and forth as if saying good-bye.

The last thing I heard before everything went black was his laughter.

*  

I heard an old lullaby when I opened my eyes. A song I remembered my oldest brother had sung to me when I couldn’t fall asleep as a child. But this lovely, heartwarming song was so misplaced in this awful, little room I found myself in.

It was the cold that got to me first. My skin broke out in goosebumps when I tried to sit up. I’d been sprawled out on the floor for who knew how long. I started trembling from the cold and I cupped my hands in front of my mouth, trying to at least get some feeling back into my fingers by blowing warm air into my palms. It wasn’t working all too well, though.

The soft notes of the lullaby were carried through the air by speakers hidden in the dark walls. There was a single table a few feet away, decked out with an assortment of blasters and that damned dart gun with different colored darts.

Behind the desk I noted the closed door, the only door in the small room. No windows and just enough light to see. There was a single glow panel attached to the ceiling that shone with a sickly yellowy glow. I wrapped my arms around myself as I got to my feet, walking over to the door in search for the control mechanism.

There was nothing. No touchpad, no number pad, not even an old fashioned handle. I banged at the door with my fists. It got me nowhere. My hands started to burn so I decided to let my frustration go with sharp kicks against the damned thing. I was locked in and I didn’t like that fact at all.

I turned back to the table with all the blasters. Why lay out so many weapons? The moment that door opened I could shoot the bastards.

Frowning, I grasped the smallest of the blasters and turned it around in my hands. I checked the power level and sighed a moment later. The power cell was empty. As were the others scattered across the table. Not even the dart gun would work. Absolutely no use to me.

I played with the thought of kicking over the table just to let go of my anger, to let go of the knowledge that I had been so damned stupid. Instead, I gripped the largest blaster in my hand and told myself I would wait until someone opened that door and I would knock that person out.

It was a lovely fantasy.

I sat down on the edge of the table and took a deep breath. Whatever had been in that dart had done a number on me. The room was spinning and even when I closed my eyes I felt like I was floating in a vast sea of icily cold water. Add to that the lullaby that kept repeating through the speakers, there was no way I could really concentrate. I wanted to tap into the pool of the Force, to send a short message – it was an easy way to communicate with your loved ones. A burst of emotions was usually enough to let the other person know in what sort of state you were in. But I couldn’t.

It was as if there was a barrier, too high to climb over and too thick to pass through. It felt like the Force was just inches away from my grasp. I imagined leaning over a pool of water just outside my reach but somehow I just couldn’t move. All I needed was to touch the pool with the tip of my finger but I couldn’t even get that far.

That’s when I started to feel fear slither its way along my spine. I was completely vulnerable, open to the world and I had to rely on myself alone. Sure, I knew how to defend myself but I was literally trapped in a cage like an animal. With weapons that were utterly useless.

It was an act of power, I thought while turning the blaster around in my hand. They left the weapons out to get my hopes up, to make me believe that I had a fighting chance.

And then I knew for certain that they were watching me.

I looked up to the ceiling but because of the odd lighting, everything was laid out in shadows. Somewhere up there, I knew there was a camera.

“Enjoying the show?” I called out into the room.

The lullaby stopped. I breathed a sigh of relief and closed my eyes. I knew for a fact that I would hate that song for the rest of my life. Bad memories and all that.

“How are you feeling?” A disembodied voice floated through the hidden speakers. The voice seemed calm and serene, speaking to me like a Doctor would to his patient.

“Oh, just peachy.” I lifted the blaster into the air. “Thanks for the useless weaponry, by the way.”

My comment was ignored. “Did you like the music?” There was a deep laugh that I recognized to belong to Vance. “It’s a lovely song. My boys loved it when they were little. They used to sing along and laugh, as if nothing in the galaxy could ever go wrong.” He paused there, as if reliving his past in his mind.

“What do you want from me?” I asked slowly. My heartbeat picked up as I awaited his answer.

“I want you to endure.”

Well, that didn’t sound good at all and that tingle of fear grew until it gripped my heart in an iron fist. “Endure what?” I knew it was stupid to ask because I wouldn’t like the answer.

“Everything.” Vance laughed. “This will be my gift to him.”

I heard an odd whizzing sound from above my head and when I looked up there was a holocam droid spinning around the room. It moved swiftly from one end to the other, the lens always in my direction.

“I will make him watch. And he will suffer the same as I have.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I knew who he was talking about. But I needed to hear it out loud, because I still hoped. “Who?”

“Why _Master_ Durron, of course.” He used the title as if it were the most disgusting, infectious disease on the planet. “And once I’m done with you, he will know what it’s like to lose the meaning of one’s life.”

There was a slight click and the voice was gone, replaced again by the soft tunes of the lullaby.

I turned around and shoved the empty blasters to the ground violently. They clattered and jumped a bit, blocking out the lullaby for mere seconds. I sat down on the table and let my legs dangle back and forth while I waited.


	15. Chapter 15

The cold bit into my skin and I began to shiver. Had circumstances been different, I could have used to the Force to warm myself but still there was that wall, that interference that didn’t let me through.

All I could do was sit there in the cold, damp room and wait. The big problem with waiting is that the mind starts to wander and you start coming up with worst case scenarios and what-if’s.

What if this was where I was going to die? What if I could never see Kyp again? What if I could never do the things I still had planned? What if I could never apologize for putting Kyp through this sort of misery?

I made a face. If I got out of this situation in one piece, the man would be stark raving pissed off at me. And that wouldn’t be a pretty picture at all. I hoped that he would understand my reasoning; that I wanted to make sure Vance hadn’t taken the kids. Although I doubted he would understand why I had gone out alone. But I hadn’t wanted to drag him into this mess any further – I had been way too overconfident and all this was the reward.

I sighed. I had to get through this. I owed it to myself to get through this and to Kyp. Yeah, he would chew my ass out big time but I would get through that too and then I would kiss him and then all would be great.

So far the fantasy.

I took a deep breath and lay down on the table, pulling my legs up to my chest as far as I could. I was so cold, so very very cold…

How long it took for the door to open, I don’t know. Long enough because I felt like I was frozen stiff. I could barely feel my fingers.

Bright light pooled into the room. I sat up and backed away until I hit a wall, squinting to see who the person was in the doorway. He was tall with broad shoulders and when he entered, he had to duck through the entrance because otherwise he would have hit his head.

“Thought you might be hungry.” His voice was like a growl from an animal. He threw a tray on the empty table and whatever was on it bobbed up and down for a moment.

“Might want to turn on the heat instead.” I said evenly, ignoring the food. If indeed it was even food.

The man came closer. Why couldn’t I just keep my big mouth shut? But then again I refused to cower in the corner while they tried to do with me what they wanted. I would not back down. I would fight, especially if Vance was sending Kyp a recording of everything.

I wanted to be strong. For him. For Kyp.

This guy was _huge_. He looked like he could smash an average person just by using his fists. And I swear he wasn’t human. Two arms, two legs – okay. But something was different about his face. His eyes were slightly slanted but too big for human standards. And his eyes glowed a strange blue color – I saw little swirling particles in his eyes, like electricity zapping back and forth. His nose was too small and his lips just a thin line of white. His scalp was bald and I noted a few scars running along the left side of his face and neck.

This guy scared the hell out of me.

Would I show it?

Hell. Kriffing. No.

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, pretending to be absolutely at peace. I stared into his face, he stared back while he kept coming closer. He inclined his head to the side and suddenly reached out to touch me. I jumped aside and held out my hands, palms up, a gesture to keep him away.

“Don’t you dare touch me.” I snarled at him. He turned my way with a smile, a bare lift of his thin white lips. I moved over to the small pile of worthless blasters and picked one up, holding it in both hands by the muzzle as if to hit the guy upside the head. Which I would do, if he came any closer. “Stay away from me.”

“Your skin looks soft.”

I swallowed and backed up some more. I realized then that the door was still open, an escape route out of the ice hole. I turned on my heel but the entrance was blocked by another person.

The young human male who had caught me with the dart. He couldn’t have been older than twenty. But he oozed evil. It was in the way he smiled, in the way his eyes took me in, in the way he stood with both hands braced against the doorframe blocking my way. Arrogant and insanely sure of himself.

“Going somewhere, sweetheart?”

“Get out of my way.” I gripped the blaster in both hands and swung it at his head. I nipped his chin but he didn’t move. Not an inch. His smile faltered, though. Yeah, I’d pissed him off big time.

He let his hands fall to his sides slowly and I backed up into the cold room again. The lullaby was still playing, so wrong in a scene like this.

“Think you’re a tough one, don’t you?”

I narrowed my eyes. “I know I’m a tough one.”

He laughed but his laughter died in his throat when the other man, the tall non-human, stepped between us. They glared at each other and spoke heated words in a language I didn’t understand. And just like that the younger of the two turned on his heel and left.

“Eat.” The non-human male said over his shoulder.

“Lost my appetite.”

He grumbled something incoherent and left. The door shut behind him with a loud bang and I was left having to listen to the lullaby again.

*

I didn’t touch the food. I placed the tray on the ground and sat back down on the table, as far away from the cold floor as I could. I knew that if I didn’t get out of this place soon, my body would start reacting to the cold. And I hate the cold to begin with.

It was hard to keep a clear head when I focused on keeping warm. I was already shaking from head to toe and it took all I had to keep my teeth from chattering. And then that damned lullaby – this was torture of an entirely different kind.

I tried tapping into the Force again. There was an odd sort of hum that kept pushing me back. Not so much a physical wall, but a sound that got louder the closer I came to breaking through. Too loud because for a moment there, I really thought my head would burst. The ensuing headache from hell confirmed this.

I thought about Kyp. In my heart I knew he was out there looking for me. I thought about the two of us together and all the things we still had planned. He promised me long ago that he would show me his home someday. I had always been curious where he’d been born, where he had grown up (at least partially – no way in hell would he show me Kessel, he said as much already, just using more colorful words), I wanted to know what his home planet was like but we’d never had the opportunity to go. And it had taken a whole lot of convincing on my part because it was a chapter in his life that he didn’t want to open up again. Too bad he got involved with a Counselor because sometimes going back and remembering helped heal the damndest wounds.

I lay down on the filthy little table and pulled my knees to my chest. Closing my eyes, I took a shuddering breath. Maybe Kyp and I could take that trip once all this was over with. Deyer sounded beautiful with all the water and the raft city’s…

Tears clouded my vision suddenly. If only I had told him about the call, if only I hadn’t just left…

A whole bunch of if’s.

I couldn’t change anything now. Now I could only hope and wait.

I glanced up to the holocam swerving along the ceiling. Was Kyp watching, I wondered. Was he seeing me huddled up on a table because it was so damned cold?

“I’m sorry.” I said aloud. “I’m so…sorry.”

*

A wave of exhaustion swept over me and I found myself spiraling into a dream.

I remember it vividly, as if it hadn’t been a dream at all but perhaps more a glimpse into a possible future. It wasn’t a future I liked.

At all.

I was at home in the living room. Everything was the way I’d left it. The plants in the corners; a low sideboard near the hallway door where I kept holopictures of the people important to me; the entertainment system with the video games Kyp and Nikk adored so much; the lovely, lush dark blue sofa with yellow pillows, even the little bowl with chocolates on the living room table – exactly everything as I had left it. I smiled when I realized that home still felt like home. At least on the outside.

Kyp was running a path in the carpet. Back and forth, back and forth…

He looked absolutely stunning. He wore thin, baggy white pants and a white tunic. I noted that his feet were bare and in his hands he held a long, black beaded necklace of sorts. His hair fell onto his shoulders in thick black waves. The sight of him was just absolutely breathtaking. But only the sight of him.

There was something oddly amiss about him. His persona didn’t glow with the warmth I was accustomed to. My gaze wandered to his face and I took a step back when I realized how…dead…his eyes were. Absolutely empty. There was nothing in that look that reminded me of the man I loved. The man pacing along the living room might have looked like Kyp but he was a complete stranger.

It broke my heart.

I walked up to him and gingerly touched the smooth skin of his jaw. My fingers ran along his chin until I stopped at his lower lip. He didn’t react to me at all. For all intents and purposes, I could have just been air. He didn’t lower his gaze, he didn’t move. He simply stared with those cold, dead green eyes.

“Kyp…”

The door on the far side of the living room opened. A silent hiss that made me turn my head. Normally the door would open into a long hallway but instead there was an entirely foreign room. Or rather a hall.

Kyp stepped forward and I followed on his heel. He pulled the beads between his fingers, the sound a quiet rhythm to which he walked. He lowered his head a little and touched the beads to his lips. I knew this was a very, very bad thing but I followed him nonetheless, too curious to know what was going on.

The hall had a high domed ceiling, giving the place quite the majestic feel. There were empty seats and benches made out of some sort of white marble material in a row throughout the entire hall. The front of the place was decked out in shimmery black cloth, like satin. It covered the floor, the walls and – I swallowed.

It was a funeral pyre up front.

I stopped in my tracks as I watched Kyp kneel beside the pyre, the beads still wandering between his fingers. He took a deep breath and whispered words I couldn’t understand, like a chant or a prayer. And then his big body started to shake and I realized that he was crying… _sobbing_.

My heart broke at the sight.

Knowing it was a really bad idea, I walked forward.

An inner voice told me what I would see up front, on that funeral pyre.

I would see myself.

In the dream, I had died.

It was the most disconcerting thing, ever. Seeing myself as a lifeless corpse, pale and cold.

_Dead_.

I doubled back and closed my eyes as a wave of nausea went through me.

“I’m sorry, Eliziya.” Kyp said. I watched as he took my cold hand in his and gently massaged my knuckles. The way he’d always done in a moment of quiet. “I was too late to save you.”

He took a deep and shuddering breath, placing the beads into my hand. He got to his feet and kissed me one last time. “Forgive me.”

There were tears running along his cheeks. He didn’t bother to wipe them away. Inside, I wept for him. I’d only once seen Kyp cry, back when he told me what had happened to him on Kessel. The inmates hadn’t been the kindest people to be around with, suffice it to say. And then with his family…he’d just let it all out.

And now he wept because I had died. Because I hadn’t been strong enough to survive. Because I had been stupid to leave without him. One little mistake and something this absolutely life changing and mind shattering happened.

“Forgive me.” Kyp said again before he turned around and left.

I had to wonder…was he asking for forgiveness because he thought he’d let me down or was he asking for forgiveness for something he was still planning to do?

“It’s just a dream.” I repeated to myself over and over again like a mantra. I had to hold on to the thought that all this was only a dream, otherwise I would lose it. “Just a dream. Just a dream.”

I glanced back towards the pyre. The woman laying there – Gods, how she looked like me.

Just…erased from the world forever.

Panic settled in the center of my chest, constricting. I couldn’t breathe anymore as I realized because I had made a single mistake in going out on my own, it had cost me my life. I gasped for air as tears clouded my vision. I tried to grab something to steady myself but I fell flat on my butt instead.

Sitting there, trying to hold on to my sanity, I saw the black beads in _her_ hand.

And I woke up with a scream.


	16. Chapter 16

I sat on the table with my knees pulled to my chest. The last threads of the dream drifted away but the feeling it left behind was still as strong as ever. Dread settled into the center of my chest and all devouring fear that these last few hours might well have been my last.

Before, it hadn’t really become clear to me that I was endangering myself. I mean, death happened to other people, right? I had always believed that I had some protective bubble around me because I had skipped death a couple of times already so why not this time too?

Arrogance should be punished.

“Idiot.” I whispered to myself, rubbing my temples. “Kriffing idiot.”

And this idiocy would pretty much do a number on Kyp, as well. He was a proud man, a really kriffing proud man and the way I had left, leaving him out of the loop…I might just as well have punched him in the gut repeatedly. The outcome would have been the same.

While I sat there coming up with new curses for myself, the door opened with a loud cracking sound. It scared the hell out of me and I jumped up, hurrying for the nearest corner. Just like that reality bit me in the ass.

Whatever happened next, I told myself, I would not make it easy for them.

I glanced up to the holocamera and smiled. I imagined Kyp was watching me. Sure, he was no doubt going ape-shit insane but he was there and I took comfort that, in a way, I wasn’t alone. No matter where I was, Kyp would always be with me.

“I love you, my dear Jedi.” I whispered. I blew a kiss and realized with shock that I was basically already saying good bye. Because I had a pretty bad feeling about what was next on the menu.

Soft white light pooled into the icily cold room as the door opened fully. The lullaby stopped so suddenly that my ears started to ring in the absolute quiet around me. The man who had caught me with the tranquilizer dart stepped into the room with narrowed eyes. He held a small blaster in his hand as he slowly approached me, his arms hanging at his sides.

“Enjoying your stay?” He drawled out in a deep voice. A cold shiver ran along my spine as he got closer. I moved aside, making sure to keep at least two meters in between us, which wasn’t an easy task at all. Last time he was in here, the huge guy with the odd eyes had stepped in between – there wasn’t anyone else here now…

“Oh, yeah lovely. Especially the choice of music. Just makes you want to blow your own brains out, it’s so kriffing great.”

He laughed at me, swinging that little blaster back and forth while he came closer. One more step and I moved aside again. “You’re funny.”

“I’m not. I’m hilarious.” I narrowed my eyes as he stopped walking. Or rather, we stopped circling each other. He was your typical bully type. Taller than I was, big and broad, no doubt strong as hell, too. I wrinkled my nose and wished for what seemed like the hundredth time that I had access to the Force. I could have just made him fall asleep and could have walked out of here like I owned the place.

As things were, that was not possible.

He laughed at me, rubbing his chin with his free hand. “I like you.”

“Too bad. You’re not my type.”

He nodded. “Yeah. You like those wanna-be bad boys, don’t you?” He came closer, still rubbing his chin and in the light I noted he had a long scar that ran up along his cheek towards his eye. “You like the guys who can kill with their thoughts and stuff, right?”

“And their bare hands. I totally get off on that.”

He was fast. In a blink of an eye he had grabbed my arm in a painful grip. I hissed between my teeth but regained my composure fairly quick. I rammed my elbow upward as hard as I could and relished in the sound of his pain. I caught his eye and there was a sickening thump. He stumbled back a little and shook his head. He’d let go of my arm but he wasn’t a happy camper.

Cold eyes locked onto me. “It’s a shame that I can’t do to you what I want to do. Old man wants to keep you for something special.” This time there was no circling. He pushed me into the wall, covering me with his big body. Both his hands were braced next to my head. He still held the blaster in one hand.

I glared at him and would not give him the satisfaction of turning away. He didn’t scare me.

At least not that much.

“You’re pretty, you know that?”

“You’re an ugly son-of-a-sith, you know that?”

He laughed deep in his throat. “What I wouldn’t give to have that mouth somewhere else entirely.” He leaned closer and I felt his breath on my skin. It took all control I had not to kick him or punch him but that blaster was quite the reminder that I had to tread carefully. “Maybe when the old man is done with you, I’ll keep you for myself.” He was letting down his guard I realized when he shifted his weight onto one hand only. With the other, he touched my throat, his fingers wandering downward towards my chest.

“I bet you like it rough, don’t you?” He laughed again. “Baby, I could show you things you never even dreamed of.”

“I can dream of quite a lot, thanks.” Gods, those fingers kept wandering until they touched where they sure as hell had no business being. His gripped me hard all of a sudden and when he moaned into my ear, it all but popped the lid of my self control.

My palms slapped onto his chest as I pushed him forward as hard as I possibly could. I balled my hands into fists and used them on his face, his shoulder his neck – anywhere I could as long as I could. But he got back in place only a moment later, grasping my wrist while I was in midflight towards his nose. He dropped the blaster and twisted my arm onto my back. It hurt like hell and I cried out in pain, thinking he was about to dislocate my shoulder.

He shoved me into the wall, his body holding me in place from behind. The left side of my face made hard contact with the cold stone wall.

“You’re going to be really sorry you did that.” He hissed into my ear. I shuddered as his breath snaked along my neck. I cringed when he grabbed my hair and tugged my head back. I was staring right into his ugly face, his light blue eyes wide and all I saw was joy. He was thoroughly enjoying what he was doing which told me more about his character that I wanted to know. “Kriff, I hope you live through all this. Because I really love how you scream.”

He flung me around and let go. I sprawled to the floor and turned around to face him. He came towards me in slow, measuring steps, smiling. “The old man wants to see you.”

I wiped my mouth when I noticed I was bleeding. That smack into the wall had _hurt_.  “I don’t want to see him.”

“You don’t have a choice in the matter.”

I narrowed my eyes. “Kriff you.”

He stepped forward and hauled my butt up with one hand. He pulled me towards him, gripping my arm while his free hand lay on the small of my back. I twisted and jerked frantically but he was too strong for me like this. The realization was gut wrenching. “You need to learn how to behave.”

“Go to hell.”

His laugh was the last thing I heard before he smacked his fist into my temple and I was sucked into darkness.

*

I wasn’t alone when I finally regained consciousness. How much time had passed since my head had been used as a game ball, I had no clue. The one thing I did know was that my head was about to split into two pieces. Headache from hell would have been an understatement.

The headache wasn’t even the worst. It was the fact that I tasted blood in my mouth and I couldn’t see all too well. Everything was blurry and I was certain my face was swollen. The guy had really done a number on me.

I was sitting up against a wall in an office room. There was an imperial style desk on the far side of the room, its surface scattered with all sorts of flimsies and decorative stuff. A little lamp was the only light source in the office, which annoyed the crap out of me because I couldn’t see worth shavit anyway.

And the tall man standing in the corner really didn’t make me feel any better, either.

It was the man who had brought me food earlier. The one with the strange eyes. Even from where I was sitting, even though my eyesight was horrible, I could see that his eyes glowed in a strange blue and something silver swirled within them.

But that wasn’t the only thing that bothered me. It was the feeling I got when just looking at him. The hum I heard in my mind when trying to tap into the Force grew louder around him. The more I stared at him, the louder that hum got and it increased my headache tenfold.

I groaned, grabbing thick portions of my hair as I tried to control the pain. It wasn’t working at all. In fact, the more I concentrated, the more my head hurt. I gave up, slumping back against the wall, just breathing.

Yet I saw _him_ staring at me with those odd, glowing eyes.

I coughed. “I bet I look like some sort of monster, right?” I said with a scratchy voice.

“He didn’t have to hurt you.”

As surprised as I was by his comment, I merely shrugged. “Guess he gets off on power and control when it comes to women.”

I heard a shuffling sound and realized that the man was coming closer. I wasn’t afraid of him though. After all, what more damage could he possibly do?

Besides kill me, of course. And not even that was scary which more or less…well, scared me. It told me that I was about to give up, which was one hell of a wake-up call. Give up and let these bastards win? Let them destroy everything I had worked so hard to build up? I leaned my head against the wall and closed my eyes, ignoring the dizziness. Or trying to at any rate.

I was not going to give up. I was not going to let Vance win. No matter what.

I would drag my ass up off the ground and I would fight. Because that’s all I could do.

Fight.

The man with the glowing eyes crouched before me. In an odd, twisted way, I thought those eyes were utterly beautiful. The rest of him, not so much. A thick ugly burn scar ran along the left side of his face, down around his neck. His nose was just a flat little thing in the middle of his face and his lips were barely even visible. But I had a feeling that there was more to him than I could see. He’d brought me food and so far he’d been kind to me. At least as kind as it got when you were being held captive against your will.

“What’s your name?” I wheezed between my lips. God, that headache was getting worse by the minute. And not only that, my arms and legs were like dead weights attached to my body.

“Seiya.”

I tried to smile. “That’s a pretty name.”

“It means _Sincere One_.”

“That’s nice.” I coughed again. “I…um…tell me, Seiya. Why am I here?”

“He wants to speak with you.”

“Vance?” A mirthless laugh escaped my throat. “He could have just asked.”

“As I said, there was no need to hurt you.”

“You don’t say?” I took a deep breath and pushed away from the wall. I needed to stand, I needed to know that I was still functional, at least to an extent. Once Vance and his little woman beating friend entered the room, and I was certain they would, I needed to know that I could maybe kick one of them where it hurt and where it counted. No more little woman-beating sons-of-siths for them, uh-uh.

I would be doing society a favor.

I swayed on my legs, bracing myself against the wall with my palm. Shaking my head to clear up the dizziness was a big fat no-go. That headache – not even a major hangover could come close to the pounding beneath my skull.

“He’ll be here shortly.” Seiya said quietly, reaching out a hand as if to help steady my swaying body. I pulled away from him.

“I won’t hurt you.”

I frowned at him. “Why are you being so nice to me?”

Seiya looked away, casting his eyes to the floor. And how odd was that?

“He’s here.” Seiya muttered a moment later, going back to the corner he’d stood in when I woke up. I was just about to ask him how he knew when the door to the office swished upward into the wall.

Vance walked in and at his heels, like a dog, came the kriffer who’d been so… _kind_ to me. I could still feel his dirty hands on me, trying to get underneath my shirt. The need to bash his skull in was so fierce that I had to ball my hands into fists to stop from trampling him. Although I wouldn’t have gotten very far. I was still wobbly.

Vance stopped a few feet away from me and inclined his head to the side. There was an expression on his face that I could only describe as satisfaction, as if he liked what he saw. He clasped his hands behind his back and kept on staring.

“Take a damned picture, why don’t you?” I threw at him, pushing away from the wall.

Vance took a quick look over his shoulder. “Tell me Daire, what do you think Master Durron will do when he sees her like this?”

I was surprised that the man had such a goofy name. Daire? Come on! How cliché can you get?

Daire grinned at me with leering eyes. Inwardly, I sort of hoped he’d come closer because my knee was itching for an encounter with his groin. Outwardly, I shot him the dirtiest look I could muster. Didn’t have the desired effect of course. Daire went to stand next to Seiya in the corner.

“I think he’ll be…livid.” Daire answered Vance’s question.

Livid? Way too soft a word. Rage coupled with the Force equals a disastrous mix. But maybe that’s what Vance was aiming for anyway.

“Do you know he’s just arrived?” Vance said quietly and I felt my heart skip a beat.

“What?” Hope flared in my chest.

Vance moved around the desk and picked up a little remote. From above the door, a small monitor was let down from the ceiling. The blank screen came to life with surveillance pictures from the area. It wasn’t a place I recognized and all the typical Coruscant marks were missing. I could see the city far away but in the near vicinity, just darkness and a few flat buildings.

Vance pressed down on a button on the remote and the picture zoomed in on three people strolling through the darkness. I nearly gasped with relief. Kyp and Nikk and Anja. And they were walking as if they didn’t care that someone could see them. It was more like an invitation to come out and play, absolutely provocative.

My Kyp. How typical him. I smiled. It hurt like hell but I smiled.

“I knew he would come, of course.” Vance said. He was utterly calm as he sat down behind the desk. “And I’ve taken precautions.”

I didn’t like the sound of that.

His empty eyes swung my way and I caught a smile on his ugly old face. “See, my friend Seiya here has a unique power. I take it you’ve noticed that the Force is not available to you?”

“Yeah, really couldn’t avoid that memo.”

“Yes.” Vance chuckled softly. “Seiya can manipulate the Force however he wishes. A wonderful power, wouldn’t you agree?”

I glanced at Seiya, gaping like a fish. He was the reason I couldn’t tap into the Force? He was partially the reason for this damned headache!

“Stop it!” I called out to him. “You have to stop this, please!” He’d been kind to me and I had a feeling that maybe I could reach out to him. Unlike Vance and Daire, he didn’t seem like a sociopath. “Stop this, Seiya. I know you can.”

With one large step, Daire stood in front of me and – this little fact didn’t surprise me one bit – he hit me. The slap seemed to echo in the small room and although I was weak in the knees, I fought back.

Like a mantra, I kept repeating to myself: get your ass off the floor and keep on fighting.

I landed a punch on his neck which had him stumbling back a little. I kicked out, striking his abdomen but he twisted awkwardly and he grabbed my arm. His flat hand connected with my chest and all air wheezed out of my lungs in an instant. Breathing was suddenly right up there with wishful thinking. I could not draw air into my lungs for at least half a minute. I fell to my knees then lay on my back like a fish out of water.

I’d never felt this awful in my entire life. Headache and no breath – astral.

“They should enter the main building in a few minutes.” Vance’s voice seemed pretty far away. “I suggest we relocate her downstairs. She’ll be the first he sees when he enters.” There was the sound as if he snapped his fingers. “Hurry it up. And Seiya –“ There was a long pause. “You know what you have to do.”

Someone grabbed me by the arm and hoisted me to my feet. It was Daire’s voice I heard next. “I love fighting with you. I’m going to make sure that you won’t die because I want to have you for myself.” I felt his breath on my cheek and then – and this disgusted me so much I actually managed to step out of his reach for a moment – he ran his tongue along my neck.

Next thing I know, I’m being dragged down a corridor, Daire’s laughter echoing in my ears.


	17. Chapter 17

“I was an average man once.” Vance was saying while Daire made sure I kept up by constantly pushing me forward.

With Vance and Seiya flanking me, I had no choice but to keep going and grit my teeth while listening to Daire chuckle. I bet the exact thoughts coursing through my mind were clearly written all over my face. Because when I narrowed my eyes over my shoulder, Daire grinned and shoved me again.

Surprisingly, it was Seiya who placed a thick hand on Daire’s upper arm. Going by the sudden pained expression on the other man’s face, I guessed Seiya’s grip was hurting him. Served him right. Although in my opinion, after everything he’d done to me, he deserved so much more.

Seiya’s voice was low and almost hypnotic. He spoke in that foreign language and admittedly his words _sounded_ beautiful but they were no doubt far from describing something pretty. Seiya’s face was a mask of anger and I found myself wondering why. Of the three of him, the scarred and ugly one had marginally treated me like a human being. I couldn’t help but ask myself _why_.

Vance turned on his heel, his face going blank as he barked in the same language only his tone was decidedly more firm. Seiya stepped away from Daire and kept going but his pace was a little slower.

What was Vance to these two men, I wondered while we walked on. Obviously Vance was the one pulling the strings and no sentient thinking being would willingly work with a sociopath – so what did he have to make them do his bidding? What was so damned special about Darvis Vance?

“As I was saying.” Vance continued while clasping his hands behind his back as if absolutely nothing had happened. “I was once an ordinary man. With a family. A beautiful wife and two sons. And a daughter on the way.”

I frowned as I shrugged. “And I care because?”

He prattled on without answering my question. Not that I thought he would because he seemed like the kind of person who went on and on and on until he’d bored everyone around him into a coma.

“My sons were at the training academy on Carida. They only had a few more weeks until they would have graduated. Did you know that?”

I sighed. “Yes, I actually did know that.”

He grunted. “Pity. They were such clear headed, clever boys. I believe they would have become honorable and great officers.” He paused. The corridor came to an end a few feet away. It was a simple door that seemed to have been mainly used by staff when whatever this place was had still been active.

“Can you imagine the reason as to why they are not here today?”

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. “Is there a reason why you’re telling me this?”

“Carida was destroyed.” Vance continued. “My boys died. And with them my legacy.”

“I know all this already!” I yelled out without really wanting to. But at that moment it was all I could do to let go of the bottled up feelings inside. “I know all of it! Stop reminding me! I know what happened, dammit. I know everything.”

He ignored me.

As we approached the door, Vance reached forward and touched his thumb to the control pad. The door swept aside soundlessly and we stepped over the threshold into an enormous hall. There were floor-to-ceiling windows, grime thick on the glass, letting in no light whatsoever. The floor might have been made from some pretty, shiny marble stuff if not for the thick layer of dark dust. And the smell reminded me of an old, dank cellar mixed with something metallic. The stench tickled my nose.

“My wife…beautiful Viridiana, was beyond devastated.” Vance went on, his footsteps muffled as he walked over the thick layer of dust. “She lost the baby. And then she disappeared into her own mind and never came back. She had lost the will to live.” He chuckled mirthlessly. “No matter what I did to save her, in the end I had to admit – as painful as it was – that I had already lost her.” Vance sighed, stopping in the middle of the hall.

“Viridiana was beautiful, you know. So very beautiful.” He stopped and turned around, eyeing me with wide eyes. “She killed herself.”

I saw the accusation in his eyes but I swallowed back a comment.

“I lost everything. _He_ …took everything. Viridiana would still be alive today if it weren’t for him.”

I shook my head. “You have to understand, it wasn’t –“

Vance raised his hand, a gesture to make me shut up. “I’ve heard the stories. A spirit of a long dead Sith lord, correct?” It was obvious the way he looked at me that he thought the “story” to be absurd. But it wasn’t absurd because it was the truth, however unlikely. Kyp hadn’t been himself – he’d sworn to it. And I believed him.

“Why are you doing this?” I hated that there was a note of weakness in my voice. “Why?”

Vance shrugged his thick shoulders as he turned his back on me and kept walking. He looked up to an old, twisted chandelier that seemed to be hanging from a single thread. “Because I can.”

“You have to know that this will get you nowhere. Nothing can be gained of this.”

He laughed, a light in his eyes that made my skin crawl. “Absolutely everything can be gained of this. Satisfaction is everything when you’ve lost the meaning of your life. And I will have satisfaction when I take away what Master Durron cherishes most.” He turned towards me and stepped closer, reaching up to run a single finger along my cheek. I shied away, took a step back and walked right into Seiya behind me. “I will have the satisfaction in watching him suffer the way I have for so long already. Your name on his lips when you die.”

My heart started to beat faster, I grew nervous. I kept balling my hands into fists over and over again.

“You seem like such a nice person.” Vance continued with a shrug. “Such a waste, really.”

“Then don’t do this.”

Although I had yet to know what _this_ was, I knew it would be a very bad thing. Vance stuck his hands into the inner pocket of his jacket and extended a small vial. It was a beautifully crafted little thing, seeming more like something a woman would carry. Maybe it had been his wife’s – wouldn’t that be fitting?

I tried taking another step back but there wasn’t anywhere for me to go. Seiya behind me, his hands on my shoulders. Daire to my left and Vance in front of me, inching closer.

“Drink this, my dear.”

My eyes bulged. Was he kriffing serious?

“Like hell I’m going to drink that.” I tried shrugging out of Seiya’s hold by taking a step to the side but his grip was firm. My eyes met Seiya’s over my shoulder and I swear I saw hurt and regret. It dawned on me that maybe he didn’t like what was happening, unlike Vance and Daire. So why wasn’t he stopping this? So many questions bubbled to my lips but I knew this wasn’t the time to ask and certainly not the place.

“Just a drop will do.” Vance said. “Two drops will kill you instantly. One drop…well, at first it will seem as if you’re sleeping. But as the hours pass, you will simply fade away. There is an antidote, of course.” He shrugged and a little smile appeared on his face as he kept coming closer. “But we don’t have it. And even if your friends arrive on time, when you finally do get medical attention, it will be too late.”

“And then what?” I asked quietly, calmly.

“And then…” Vance smiled to himself, lovingly running his thumb along the top of the little vial. “And then nothing.”

I felt tears prick my eyes. So this was going to be the end, was it?

When Vance came closer still, Daire grabbed my chin while Seiya held me in place. Daire twisted my head upward and jabbed a thick finger into my cheek. Out of reflex my mouth opened and Vance hurried to dribble a single drop onto my tongue.

It was utterly amazing really…knowing that just a tiny little drop of poison could take my life in a blink of an eye. I didn’t even have time to be afraid.

Daire and Seiya stepped back and I was left swaying dangerously on my legs. I looked over at Vance, my eyes meeting that cold dead stare. “I hope you really are satisfied now.”

Vance laughed. “My dear, this is just the beginning.”

There was a sudden weakness in my knees that hadn’t been there before and I fell to the dusty floor. Laying there, breathing deeply, all I could do was stare at their boots and watch little dust particles swirl into the air.

“Seiya, watch her.” Vance said but his voice seemed so distant. “Daire and I will be upstairs waiting for our guests to arrive. I presume they will be quite beside themselves once they see her like this.”

His voice started to fade as if someone was turning down the volume of my life. I could see perfectly, I saw them leave but everything around me was muffled. I heard the beating of my heart and my breath was eerily loud in my ears. I felt so weightless, as if floating in a vast pool of warm water. It was a sublime feeling, it really was.

If not for the fact that I was dying.

 *

Maybe it was only a few minutes. Maybe hours. Maybe days. It certainly felt much longer. Weeks, months, years… time held no meaning for me when I tried to open my eyes. It was odd being trapped in your own body, wanting to be heard but not being able to break free.  

_Hold on for me…_

Kyp’s voice shattered the numbness surrounding me. Hope bloomed within my chest and its warmth spread out into my arms, into the tips of my fingers. I wanted to cry, I was so happy knowing that Kyp was there, that I was safe.

_Hold on for me, sweetheart…_

But the moment of blissful elation didn’t last long. Because all sensation suddenly ceased to be and I found myself fading into an ocean of memories.

*

It’s said that your life flashes before your eyes when you’re about to die. I started to remember. But these sorts of memories I could have well done without. Sure, it was better than having nightmares again but I’m not too keen on going back to what life used to be.

Memories…at certain times in my life I wondered what it would be like to simply have them erased. It was a simply procedure. I would never have to remember my dysfunctional family, I would never have to remember my brother dying, I would never have to remember my mothers’ betrayal.

Would I be erasing a part of myself with it, though?

I would never know.

I was always too afraid.

My brother Sevastian…

Not a day passes that I don’t think of him but I try to keep him in my thoughts as the kind young boy he used to be, not the dangerous, drug-using individual he eventually turned into. I watched him die when he was fifteen years old and sometimes I still wonder if I could have done something about it. I noticed that something was different about him but at the time I had thought it was a thing boys his age went through. And our family situation in general had been awful to begin with – our parents were married to their jobs, our oldest brother Kyrian was leaving, which left only myself and Sevastian. And in the end it was only me.

At his funeral I couldn’t shake the feeling that my parents, especially my mother, blamed me for his death. Maybe it _had_ been my fault. I kept telling myself that I should have paid more attention, maybe then I could have prevented the down fall for him. He’d been high on some new drug that had been making its way through the lower levels. Sevastian had been a tall but wiry boy, not strong in the sense that he could push me to the ground with a swipe of his hand – but that’s exactly what he’d done. His eyes…I won’t ever forget his eyes. The hatred directed towards me even though I’d only wanted to help…

One thing led to another. He had a knife in his hand. I want to believe he didn’t know what he was doing. I want to believe that in his mind he was so far gone that he didn’t recognize me. He’d attacked me, the blade caught my ribs and all I did was defend myself. We fell to the ground but the knife spun out of control.

Memories…sometimes I really wish I could erase them. Because then I wouldn’t have to deal with the pain.

*

My mother…wow, I get angry just imagining her face. I have one single memory of her that is almost nice. I was little, maybe five or six years old and back then, before she had shown her real face to me, I looked up to her. To me, she was the most beautiful woman to walk the planet. When I look into the mirror, I see her standing in front of me. We look like sisters really but that’s where all similarities end.

Whereas I consider myself to be a warm and kind and open minded person, my mother is a cold hearted witch. The moment she found out that I was attuned to the Force, she made me feel as if I were no longer her daughter, no longer her flesh and blood. She’s afraid of everything that has to do with the Jedi, deathly afraid. She never told me why. She let me feel it, though.

I remember when I was still her little girl how she would read stories to me and sing with me. I remember when I had still been allowed to cuddle under the blankets at night when I had a bad dream. Feels like a lifetime ago. 

My father on the other hand…he loved the fact that we had a Force sensitive in the family. He told me this exactly once – before he headed off to work again.

I haven’t spoken to my parents in years. I don’t believe they’re very much interested. And after what my mother did to me – having someone tamper with my head so I couldn’t touch the Force until I was older – I don’t want to ever see her again.

Yet I still wonder… would she care if she knew I was dying?


	18. Chapter 18

The memories started to fade after a while. There were a few fleeting glimpses, a fast forward of myself as an adolescent and then as an adult. But all that didn’t matter because I was back in the waking world. It was as if someone had snapped their fingers and just like that – _bam!_ – I’m back.

There was a dull ache in my head. I heard sounds and voices from far away, nothing vivid and nothing I could make sense of. But slowly the sounds grew louder and I realized that they were voices, hectic voices issuing orders.

A tingle started in my fingers, wandering upwards along my arms until a blast of heat erupted inside my chest. It was like breathing for the first time – breaking through a water surface just before you’re about to suffocate.

And all of a sudden the voices and sounds around me grew so loud, that inwardly I cringed away. I was afraid, scared because I had no clue where I was. I knew there were people around me, I felt their hands on my arms, I heard their voices…but who were they?

And where was I?

For all I knew these strangers could be out to hurt me. What if these were Vance’s people?

I fought their hold as best I could, screaming at the top of my lungs, thrashing wildly just to get them off me.

“Get away from me!” My voice sounded foreign to my ears. A wild cry, a cry to survive because all that counted was not getting hurt, all that counted was surviving.

They pushed me down, strong hands on my shoulders which only got me riled up even more. I imagine I looked like an animal they wanted to lock up in a cage. I was fighting for dear life here.

“Stay calm.” A female voice said. “We’re trying to help you.”

Liar… I could feel it in my bones that she was lying. They had to be working with Vance because there wasn’t any other explanation. They were hurting me and I was suddenly so very sure that they wanted to kill me…

It was the unlikeliest explanation but at the time it was the only explanation that made sense to me. I screamed and yanked my arms out of their grips and the moment I felt strong hands encircle my wrists and ankles, I completely lost it.

I felt trapped.

Instinctively, I reached into the Force, twisting it the way I wanted to and bringing it down on these people the best way I could. I pushed outward and heard intakes of breaths and sharp gasps. I heard the clattering sound of something falling, someone cursing…

And that’s when I realized that I hadn’t even opened my eyes. If I saw these people, I could do so much more damage.

“Stop it.”

The firm voice made me halt. I lay very still, frowning.

“You’re safe, Liz. Let them help you.”

I blinked a few times as everything started to come into focus. A bright white light above me made me squint and turn my head to the side. Stark white tiled walls, medical appliances on a small table beside me, medical droids hovering in the air, nurses staring at me…

And Kyp squeezing my hand.

“You’re safe, sweetheart.” I turned my head towards his voice and something inside of me broke like a dam. I started to cry, slapping my hands in front of my face as if hiding myself from the entire damned world. I felt utterly broken as I lay there with these people watching me, seeing that I was a complete emotional wreck.

But just a moment later the realization kicked in that I _was_ safe. These people were helping me. And Kyp was there.

I was alive.

I should have been happy, right?

So why wasn't I?

*

How much time passed until I was fully aware of my surroundings, I can’t say. I realized after a lengthy silence that the Force was back. Or rather, it slammed into me with such ferocity that I gasped out loud. I dug my fingers into the sheets, twisting my hands into fists as I breathed in deeply. Perception is a wonderful thing. I felt life like a thick warm blanket that chased away the cold. Sometimes I could feel emotions sifting through tiny little cracks in the fabric of the Force and sometimes I caught snippets of thoughts that weren’t mine.

I focused on the ceiling, avoiding staring into the bright white light of the square shaped glow panels. Voices carried through the haze that started to lift in my mind. There was a beeping tone behind me, the rhythm of my heart. A slight whir to my left let me know that there was a medical droid monitoring my vitals.

As a patient, I’m not a big fan of medical centers but the worst are the droids. When you’re not feeling well, I find it’s nice to have someone of flesh and blood to be there for you. Sure, the droids do their job and they make sure that you’re stable and perfectly cared for in a purely medical and physical sense but otherwise…I don’t like med droids. And certainly not medical holograms either. 

I scowled a bit as I turned my head towards the hated thing. It hovered in mid air, a small blue globe with a small digital display and several little appendages that could extend at will. Right now all it was doing was scanning me, giving off a sudden sharp whistle that had the voices in the room abruptly silence.

Yeah, I’m awake.

Tattletale.

“How are you feeling?” I turned my head to the left. There was a Doctor, a middle aged human man with a kind face and an equally kind smile. Your typical perfect Doc at first glance.

“About as bad as I look.” I answered in a hoarse voice. My head felt like a little critter was trying to cleave my brain into two pieces with an axe from the inside. My face felt swollen and thick, my lower lip split and aching when I tried to speak. “Am I okay?”

He wore one of those long white coats, the kind you could sometimes see the medical personnel wearing on the soap opera channels. The little name tag on his chest read _Sunhill_ and I wondered if he was from Tattooine. Sounded Tattooine-ish to me. 

“You’ll be perfectly fine.” Sunhill answered with an even wider smile. It was then that I noticed a female nurse standing behind him. I couldn’t place her species, though. She was tall and extraordinarily skinny with light pink skin and dark blue dots around her temples that seemed to wander all the way down to the tips of her fingers. Her silver hair reminded me of satin feathers and each time she moved, the thick strands twinkled in the light. She looked up as she noticed me staring, startling light blue eyes eyeing me equally as curiously.  

I smiled a little while shifting my attention back to Sunhill.

“What…” I swallowed as my throat suddenly felt very dry. “What happened, exactly? I mean…what did they give me?”

Sunhill first clasped his hands behind his back then thought better of it and shoved them into the pockets of his coat. Something silvery glinted there, a medical instrument I presumed. Definitely something he had to have quick access to. “I can’t say just yet. I should have the test results in the next hour. I’d suggest you rest a little until then.”

“I’ve _been_ resting.” I said with a slight frown, irritation flaring behind my eyes. The idea of being cooped up in bed like this was awful. I wanted to be up on my feet, doing something, _anything_. Pacing the length of the room would have been just fine with me.  I needed to keep my mind busy.

“Jedi Master Durron will no doubt be ecstatic to know you’re awake.” Sunhill continued, ignoring my comment. “I’ll let him know you’re ready to see him.”

He turned on his heel, the nurse with him and they left the room. I wrinkled my nose as I noted the medical droid still hovering in mid air. If it had been up to me I would have tossed it out the window and gladly watched it splinter and splatter into hundreds of pieces on the walkways below.

I sat up slowly, testing my muscles by stretching my arms forward. I felt sore all over but it was nothing I couldn’t deal with. Training cycles with Kyp made me feel much worse. When it came to physical fitness, the man was relentless to the point that he was almost evil.

I pushed the covers off my legs and slid to the floor, bare feet touching very cold ground. They’d stuck me into a horribly pink hospital gown with little red hearts. I looked down at myself, gaping at the audacity.

“You have got to be kidding me…” I muttered while plucking at the gown with my fingers. The medical droid behind me gave a little tootle.

“This is ugly.” I said, frowning because I was talking to a medical droid. “I doubt you have the concept of what’s ugly and what’s not, huh?” It tootled at me again and I laughed at myself.

I took tentative steps forward, hopping on one leg, then the other. All things considered, I felt great. Well, besides the splitting headache and the swelling in my face. I made a mental note to ask the Doc for a healing salve.

The door to the room opened on a hiss and Kyp strolled in. With the light coming through from the corridor, his silhouette was highlighted and as cheesy as it sounds, he really seemed like a savior right then and there. My savior to be exact. He seemed tired, exhausted. Dark rings surrounded his eyes and he stood with his shoulders slumped, as if a great weight had settled atop them.

And all of a sudden I was nervous. I tucked strands of my hair behind my ears, feeling self conscious. Considering the pink hospital gown with the red hearts, who could blame me?

But I felt small and sullied whereas he seemed so… _flawless_. He’d saved my life and I had this urge to thank him somehow. I knew he would do everything in his power to keep me safe but still…I just felt so odd, seeing him standing there watching me with warm, green eyes.

The door shut behind him and I smiled shyly. “Hey.”

Two strides later he held me in his arms, hugging me fiercely to his lean body. I breathed in his wonderful smell of dark spices as I gripped his shirt around his shoulders. Tears threatened to spill down my cheeks but I held them back because after that earlier episode when I’d woken up on the medical table, I didn’t want to cry. I didn’t want Kyp to think I’d turned into some crazy person ready for the loony bin.

My feet left the floor as Kyp pulled me even closer. “I’m okay.” I said quietly, wiggling free of his grasp but holding on to his biceps as he put me back on the floor. “I’m okay, Kyp.”

For a moment there, I could almost pretend that I hadn’t just lied. I was so _not_ okay. But I didn’t want to worry him any further. He’d been through enough. Both of us had been through enough.

“Does it hurt?” Kyp asked quietly while gently running the tips of his fingers along the bruising on my face. I barely felt his touch but the warmth was a Godsend.

“Not really.” I briefly closed my eyes and leaned into his hand. I placed my palms on his chest and focused on my breathing.

“You never were a good liar.” I detected the slightest hint of amusement in his voice but it was gone just as quickly as it had appeared. Kyp sighed and kissed my forehead. “How are you feeling?”

I shrugged, about to tell him again that I was okay, that everything was going to be fine but he shook his head. “I’d rather hear the truth this time.”

But telling him the truth would make the tears start pearling down my cheeks. I frowned and closed my eyes. My throat closed up as if someone was choking me. But what use would it be trying to sugarcoat the truth? He could _feel_ the chaotic jumble of emotions. He already _knew_.

In the end I lost the fight with the tears and they quietly ran their course.

“I’m not okay, Kyp.” I sniffed, wiping my eyes and taking a quivering breath. “I’m scared.”

For a long while neither one of us said a word. He held me while running his hand along my back. Words seemed useless at that moment. How could I even begin to explain what was going through my mind?

“This isn’t me.” I took a step back and smiled a little through a haze of tears. “I don’t like this scared little girl who’s afraid of shadows lurking in the dark.” I shook my head, wiping the tears away with trembling fingers. “This isn’t me, Kyp. I’m better than this. I –“

He kissed me. Unexpected as the kiss was, it was just what I needed. The closeness to him was grounding and I felt at ease almost at once. This coiling fear inside my gut slowly untangled itself, replaced by a longing so fierce, I found myself digging my fingers into his shoulders. I kissed him back slowly, meeting each of his strokes with mine. His arms encircled my waist, my feet barely touching the floor while my fingers wandered into the thick strands of his beautiful dark hair.

A moment later, we stood a little apart, foreheads touching. “I would kill for you.” Kyp said so quietly, I needed to strain to hear. “Nikk and Anja are out searching for Vance because I don’t trust myself to get the job done without stepping over the line.” His brow furrowed, Kyp reached forward and touched the pad of his thumb to my lower lip.

I was stumped, struck speechless. To hear the words out of his mouth, to actually have him admit that he would step over that one little fine line just for me was incredible. And not at all in a good way because I didn’t like the idea of him throwing his life into a dust bin for me. I understood his need to protect. I knew how he feared, above all, to lose those he loved. This fear was ingrained into his very being and I was sure that it rattled him to his very core how far he would go to make sure his loved ones were safe. Staring into the depths of his green eyes, I didn’t know how to respond.

“I want to go home.” I said at last. “I just want to go home.”

Kyp heaved a sigh and closed his eyes for a moment. “We can’t go home. Not until I’ve heard back from Nikk.”

I grimaced at the news. I wondered how long all this would take. How long until I could go back to my life and pretend all this had never happened?

“Where will we go?” I whispered, plucking at his shirt just to have something to do. I had hoped that I would never have to run away again. At least time, I wasn’t going to be alone.

His lips lifted into a little smile. “Somewhere no one will ever think to look for us.”

 


	19. Chapter 19

I was going to be okay. That’s what Sunhill and Kyp kept saying. It was becoming something of a mantra inside my head. _You’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay_.

Stop saying that already!

I knew I was fine.

Seiya’s antidote had worked perfectly, so great timing on his part in terms of changing teams. I was back to my normal self and this only after half a day. I was already annoyed with the medical staff and especially with the gunk they called food. So yeah, I was making a full recovery.

Physically.

I’m not a person to scare easily. I can fight, I can defend myself and with just a swipe of my hand, I can throw anyone clear across a room. With Vance it was different. And knowing that he was still out there scared the hell out of me. When I closed my eyes I saw his smiling face and I _knew_ that he wasn’t nearly finished yet. Only now his anger had time to simmer and who knew what he was capable of now? I mean, he was a mean bastard to begin with but now? I didn’t even want to think about it.

Sitting on the hospital bed with my legs pulled up to my chest, I stared out the window with a blank mind. It was early morning and my breakfast lay untouched on a tray on the bedside table. I wasn’t hungry – I hadn’t even touched the hot chocolate and that’s really something coming from me. Hot chocolate is my personal drug.

What I wanted to do was go home.

I sat back against the fluffy white pillow and sighed. It’s an unbelievable feeling when you know that you’re not even safe in your own home. You can have security measures all you like and still you don’t feel safe because someone had managed to violate your personal little safe house. Even only through a com call, I just knew that home wouldn’t be the same anymore.

The door to the hospital room opened and Kyp came in with his comlink in his hand. He smiled briefly then frowned as he realized I hadn’t eaten.

Before he could even say anything I held up a hand. “I’m not hungry. Don’t annoy me about it.”

“I wasn’t going to say anything.” He said with raised brows, tucking his comlink into the pockets of his pants. I didn’t believe him, of course.

“Liar.”

He chuckled softly as he came to sit on the bed beside me. I took his hand into mine, running my thumb along his knuckles. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?” I asked with a little smile. He’d been making a big secret out of the whole we’re-leaving-Coruscant thing and he hadn’t even hinted as to what our destination would be.

I’d fantasized, of course. Maybe a beautiful lush green world, sort of like Ossus? Or a place with a vast ocean and a beach with warm golden sand? For a while I even entertained the thought of going to Zeltros. Basically, Zeltros has everything the heart desires. _Everything_. There isn’t anything that you cannot do, that you cannot purchase on Zeltros.

But even though the planet and their people are greatly fascinating, a planet wide party wasn’t really what I was going for. Quietness without much of an adventure, that would be fantastic.

“It wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you, now would it?” Kyp said with a slight smile. I leaned back some more and sighed contently. I felt so damned lucky to have him by my side. The lengths he would go to protect me still had me a bit rattled but I knew I didn’t have to worry about anything when he was with me. Still, I didn’t appreciate it when he kept me out of the loop this way.

I am way too curious for my own good.

I made a face. “Babe, I am really not in the mood for surprises.” And anyway, I would annoy him as long as it took until he finally spilled the beans. Keeping secrets from me is unwise when you value your sanity.

I’m like a kid on a trip that keeps asking _“Are we there yet?”_

Kyp chuckled and kissed my forehead. “We’re going to Deyer, Liz.”

It took a moment for me to realize the significance of the planet. I was suddenly so excited. A smile spread over my face and then turned into a big, fat grin. But that smile faded as fast as it had appeared.

Deyer, Kyp’s homeworld, the planet he had avoided visiting for years and years for fear of reliving the worst moments of his life. And now he was taking me there just to keep me safe?

I was stunned.

The excitement started to ebb, though. Sure, I wanted to see where he was born, I wanted to know where he had lived for the first few years of his life. I wanted to know everything there was to know about him but at what cost?

What would going to Deyer do to him?

“Are you sure?” I asked softly, lifting his hand to my lips. “There are countless other planets to go to, Kyp. We don’t have –“

“No one will look for us there. The majority of people know that I don’t want to go back home. So they wouldn’t look there. Besides, I promised you a trip to Deyer years ago. It’s about time I made good on that promise.” He tweaked my nose, which lifted my spirits just a notch. He didn’t seem worried about the trip at all. It surprised me, it really did. Or maybe he was just hiding his true feeling really, really well.

I shoved those thoughts aside and took a deep breath. “Well then. We have to go pack!”

He scowled at me, which I completely ignored. I shook my head when he opened his mouth to start an argument he wasn’t going to win. “If you think for a minute that I’m just going to up and leave without my things then you’re mistaken.”

“That’s not what I was going to say, Liz. How about you let me talk first before you start fussing?”

“I’m not fussing.”

“Yeah. You are.”

I pursed my lips. So maybe I was fussing but I wasn’t going to admit it out loud. “When can we go pack?”

“I’m not sure yet. We’ll wait until Doc Sunhill gives his okay.”

“But I’m alright. We could go now.”

Kyp shook his head, strands of his thick dark hair falling into his face. It was then that I really saw what a mess he looked like. There were dark rings around his eyes, which mean he was beyond tired. He was pale and there was dark stubble around his chin and jaw. Not that I was complaining about that; gave him something of a roguish look. All in all he was just utterly exhausted.

I felt like a complete jerk.

I scooted aside and patted the mattress with my hand. “Lay down next to me.”

He inclined his head to the side a little. “Tight fit.”

I shrugged. “Don’t care. You need to rest.”

“I can rest once we’re underway.”

“No.” I used the no-argument voice on him. It nearly _never_ worked but I could try, right? “Lay down next to me, Kyp.” I smiled at him and squeezed his hand. “Anyway, I could use a little cuddling.”

I knew he was about to argue again. No doubt he was about to come up with something along the lines of “You need to recover-bla bla” but I wasn’t having it. “Kyp, please. Just for a little while.”

He leaned forward and kissed me. Just a little nip but enough to have me all warm and fuzzy inside. I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek and I smiled when he leaned into the touch. “I love you.” I whispered. He took my hand and kissed each finger in succession. My stomach did a little flip flop and a lovely shiver ran along my spine.

“And I love you.” He said in return, his voice dark, sexy, low.

I moved aside some more to make room for him. I didn’t care if the bed was almost too small for the two of us. If I had to, I would move over to the only chair in the room. I wanted Kyp to rest, I wanted him to sleep for as long as he had to and if the medical personnel even _thought_ about whining, I would give them a piece of my mind.

Kyp snuggled into the pillow and draped his arm around my waist. I kissed his forehead, running my fingers through his hair as he took a deep breath and sighed contently. And within only a few minutes, he’d fallen fast asleep.

*

I knew for a fact that Kyp felt safe or else he wouldn’t have even closed his eyes for a few minutes. Once the man slept, he slept and there was no easy way of waking him. I didn’t mind, though. I could watch him and I was fine with that.

While a person sleeps, you can see into their soul. It’s something my grandmother said to me when I was little. Because when you sleep, you let go of all your worries, you let go of all the hardships that make life so difficult. While you sleep you are truly the person you try to hide from the outside world.

I saw an honorable man who would risk absolutely everything for those he loved.

I played with a strand of Kyp’s hair, watching as it coiled around my finger. On a whim, I sat up slowly and reached over to undo the band with which he kept it together in a ponytail. It just barely fell over his shoulders. I ran a finger over the straight bridge of his nose then touched his lips while he breathed softly. I leaned forward and kissed him as gently as I could. I was absolutely taken by the way he lay next to me, cuddling with the edge of the big white pillow while pulling his knees towards his chest.

I bit my lip as I tried not to giggle. If I had had a holocam I would have taken a few pictures because my dangerous, fierce Jedi Master just looked so utterly adorable.

There was a sudden annoying melody coming from the inside of his pants pocket. His comlink, the one I had picked out for him a few months earlier, had the most hideous chimes ever invented by a sentient being. This particular one had the knack of staying locked inside your brain for a very, very long time. Plus, it got louder after a while and Kyp had just fallen asleep – like hell I would let this stupid little bit of technology wake him.

Slowly, I reached into his pocket and withdrew the small, silver comlink. I flipped it open, pushed down on the privacy button and held it to my ear. “Top of the world, your Goddess hears you. How may you be of service?”

There was a chuckle on the other end and my heart started to beat faster when I recognized Anja. “Are you guys okay?” I asked, slipping off the bed and walking up to the window. I kept my voice low as I looked at nothing in particular. There wasn’t anything to look at anyway besides a few ships and speeders.

“Don’t you worry about us. How’re you holding up?”

I sighed. “I wish people would stop asking me that. I’m absolutely fine.” I said, rubbing my forehead. “What happened?”

There was a rustling sound and then Anja’s squeal of outrage as Nikk supposedly ripped the comlink out of her hand. “Bad news, sweetheart.” Nikk said a moment later. I was so glad to hear their voices. I breathed a sigh of relief knowing that the two of them were unhurt. At least as far as I could tell.

“We lost Vance.” Nikk continued. An ice cold grip got a hold of me and I shivered from the inside out. “We’re going to find him, alright?” Nikk went on as if he knew I was starting to get extraordinarily nervous. “So don’t you start freaking out, got it?”

“I’m not freaking out.” I said quietly. Because I had no reason to freak out. Because Kyp and I were leaving soon. I kept a hold on that thought with an iron grip.

“Seiya’s on our side now. He knows – _hey_! Get away from there you moron!”

I blinked in surprise and held the comlink away from my ear as Nikk yelled. I heard scuffling and a few choice curse words, courtesy of Nikk. I caught myself smiling.

“How do you put up with this idiot?” I heard Anja next and I couldn’t help the snort.

“Oh, like you haven’t noticed the gorgeousness that is Nikk Vox?” I arched a brow, wishing she could be there with me at that moment. I wanted a friend to chat with and what better topic than guys when you felt like the world was crashing in on you?

Her voice grew very, very quiet suddenly and she started to whisper. “Don’t _ever_ tell him that. He’ll get an ego boost and then he’ll be even more insufferable.” She sighed. “Liz, I was so worried. It’s so great to hear your voice.” An awkward silence stretched between us and I imagined if Anja had been there with me, we would have hugged each other.

“Dammit, Nikk!” Another scuttling and shuffling sound and Anja’s growl accompanied by Nikk’s deep laugh.

“Liz, you there?”

“Always, sweetheart.”

“Listen, I think it would be best if you and Kyp left for a little while.”

I smiled. Great minds think alike after all. “Already taken care of. We’re heading out to –“

“Don’t tell me, idiot!” Nikk made a sound of contempt, no doubt shaking his head and rolling his eyes skyward. “What if someone captures and tortures me just to find out where you are?”

“Oh, like that’s ever going to happen.”

“Honey, this day and age, you never know.”

I arched a brow. “Are you really admitting that someone could actually manage to capture you?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“Yes, you did.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Nikk!” I laughed in spite of myself. “You are truly crazy, you know that?”

“And I love you, too. Anyway, let me talk to Kyp before we head out and find this bastard.”

I shrugged. “He’s sleeping.”

There was a lengthy pause. I assumed Nikk was going through a myriad of different facial expressions, which would have made me laugh had I seen it up close. “What do you mean he’s _sleeping_?” His voice rose at the end of the sentence, a high pitched squeal that rather belonged to the voice of a little girl, I thought.

“We’re safe here and he needs to rest. We have a long trip ahead of us.”

“How the hell can the man sleep at a time like this?” Nikk snorted. “Great. I get to do the dirty work while he’s enjoying himself in a warm, soft bed.”

I didn’t comment because I knew that he was only playing. Gods, I wanted to hug him. “Simply saying thank you won’t cut it, Nikk.” I said softly, feeling so utterly overwhelmed all of a sudden.

“Don’t worry about it, Liz. Just make sure you and Kyp get off planet as soon as possible. I doubt this’ll take very long, anyway. Now that Seiya’s no longer doing his stupid Force twisting crap, we have a fair chance of finding Vance and finishing this.”

I swallowed at his choice of words. “What will you do to him, Nikk?”

There was a long pause. “Whatever it takes, sweetheart. Whatever it takes.”

I said good-bye shortly afterward, telling them to take care of themselves and that we’d stay in contact. I hated having to run away like this. This wasn’t Nikk’s problem in the slightest, or Anja’s, and yet they put their lives on the line for me.

How could I ever repay them?


	20. Chapter 20

I started to get really hungry around the time one of the nurses brought a tray laden with what was supposed to be my dinner. It wasn’t really appetizing besides the side dish of nut cake. I eyed the little thing with a greedy smile, telling myself that I would first eat what seemed to be fish and vegetables and afterward devour the nutcake and relish every second of it.

“That looks tasty.”

I glanced up and saw Kyp sitting up in bed. A sheepish smile graced his face as he yawned and scratched his head. I laughed at the sight of him. One side of his face was all wrinkly and he’d drooled on himself. “Don’t you look lovely.”

He raised a brow. “That bad, huh?” He swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stretched his arms upward. There were audible popping sounds along his back and neck, which made me wince. He sat down at the small little table with me and grabbed the nutcake. I didn’t even have time to protest before he bit off a big fat chunk of all that lovely chocolate goo and crispy nuts.

“Hey! I was saving that!”

He laughed in between a mouthful of _my_ cake.

“You can have all this.” I pushed the tray towards him and took back what was left of my cake. “I’m not all too fond of this fish stuff.”

Kyp swallowed and grinned at me. I raised a brow at him, my hand still holding the plate with the piece of cake. I was protective of my cake just like he went crazy when someone ate up his cookies. He reached over and took the glass of water, taking a small sip before setting it down again.

“You know, it’s funny.” He said, sitting back. “You’ll let me stick my tongue down your throat but you won’t share your cake.”

“You won’t share your cookies either.”

“That’s different.”

“How is that different?” I sat back and crossed my arms over my chest, eyeing him with a smile tugging at my lips.

“Those cookies are _mine_.” He was way too quick for me to react on time. He grabbed the plate and ate the rest of the cake in one go. 

I made a face then huffed out a sigh, trying to come up with something to say while he grinned at me and still munched on the last bits of that lovely, chocolate-y nut cake. “You are evil.” I said quietly, wrinkling my nose. “Prime evil.”

There was a silent chime in the air and I looked towards the door. It opened quietly and Doc Sunhill stepped through, all bright smiles and holding a chart in his hand. It glowed a faint blue and I saw that he’d scribbled a few notes down, his writing absolutely not legible.

“Enjoying the meal?” He asked lightly.

I narrowed my eyes on Kyp. “You owe me cake.”

All Kyp did was laugh. He turned halfway in his seat and looked up to Doc Sunhill. “So what’s the verdict?”

Sunhill took a look at the chart for a moment, scrolling through my file and making funny little noises in the back of his throat. The expression on his face was plain so I had no clue whatsoever if those sounds were good or bad. I hoped they were good because I was really ready to leave this place.

“Well, as we’ve already established, you have no need to worry. The antidote took effect immediately after it was administered. You might feel a little tired for the next few days but otherwise you’ll be perfectly fine.”

“Does that mean I can go home?”

Sunhill nodded. “Yes. But take it easy for a while.” He gave me a pointed glance as if knew all about how stubborn I could be and how it was so easy for me to get into sticky situations. I supposed Kyp squealed on me.

Thanks, babe.

Sunhill gave me a typical Doctor speech afterward. Don’t do this, don’t do that, be careful what you eat, listen to your body when it needs something…blah, blah, blah.

I thanked him for his help, of course. I asked him to thank the staff as well but still I was happy when he left and we could leave for home and pack some stuff.

I turned towards Kyp, smiling. “Can we go now, please?”

*

I got dressed in the clothes I’d worn when Vance had grabbed me. I would have like to burn them, but the thought of going home wearing a pink hospital gown with red hearts was not a nice one.

Outside the sun was setting and the air was cool and even a little moist. If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought it was about to rain. Nikk’s sparkly red speeder that Kyp had used to get us here was parked in the back of the small med center. I was anxious to get inside and head back home. Or rather, I was anxious to get off the planet.

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat, walking beside Kyp while deep in thought. What would happen next, I wondered? Would it be safe to go home and pack? Or would Vance possibly be waiting? The thought made my stomach twist.

“Oh!” I said loudly, stopping Kyp by placing a hand on his arm. “I forgot to tell you that Nikk called.”

“And?”

I dropped my hand, shoving it back into my pocket. “Vance got away.”

Kyp said nothing for a while. I watched him closely, wondering what was going through his mind. His brows were pulled down into a little frown but otherwise there was nothing to let me know that he was irritated. But I felt it through our bond. He could pretty much keep a close lid on his feelings when he wanted to but little pieces still came through. I knew that he was afraid for me, that he was ready to leave and I was certain that had it been up to him, he’d have hurried to the space port right that moment.

He sighed. “We’ll head home, pack only the things we need and then we’ll go.”

Kyp unlocked the speeder with a remote unit and I stepped up to the passenger door, pressing down on the release button. The door swerved upward and I climbed in. The first thing I noted was Nikk’s cologne absolutely _everywhere_. He kept his little ride as clean and tidy as possible. The black leather seats looked like no one had ever sat on them before and they squeaked awkwardly as soon as you tried to make yourself comfortable.

And, of course, there was one of those advanced radio systems built into the dashboard. Wouldn’t be Nikk’s speeder without it.

Kyp took the drivers’ side and leaned back for a moment, hands in his lap. He’d pulled his hair back into a messy ponytail and I reached out to play with a few stray strands. He turned my way with a forced smile that was supposed to be reassuring. But it didn’t quite reach his eyes so it didn’t really do the trick.

“I need to make a few quick calls when we get home.” He said to fill the silence. “I want a flight off Coruscant as soon as possible.”

He turned away to look through the side window, no doubt thoughts a chaotic jumble in his mind. I reached forward and turned his head with the tips of my fingers. “What is it you’re worried about, Kyp?”

Anger flashed behind his beautiful green eyes. I dropped my hand as he gripped the steering unit in front of him. His knuckles were white. “Insanely stupid question, Liz.”

I shook my head. “No, it isn’t. Are you worried that something might happen to me or are you worried about what you’ll do if Vance crosses your way?”

He ground his teeth together, staring out the window again.

“Listen, Nikk said that Seiya, the guy with the strange eyes, is on his side now. So Vance has lost the advantage.”

Through our bond I felt a flare of excitement from him, tinged with something I could only decipher as being hungry for a hunt. I frowned at that, taking a deep breath. “You’re kidding, right? You cannot be thinking about going after him.”

For a long moment I thought he wouldn’t answer. But when he did, he smiled at me and took my hand. “No. I won’t go after him. I won’t leave you unprotected.”

I groaned and rolled my eyes at that last bit.

“We’re leaving for Deyer. And that’s final.” He continued, starting the speeder with a press of a button. Still I felt through our bond that he wasn’t satisfied. Even though he kept telling me that he didn’t trust himself when it came to Vance, he wanted to be the one to take him down.

In a way it was totally understandable. Having Kyp wait on the sidelines…it wasn’t in his nature. This was definitely a big step for him and I found myself respecting him so much more.

I turned towards the front viewport when the speeder lifted off the ground. “Deyer’s a water planet, right?” I asked a moment later.

Kyp gave an affirmative nod.

“Great. I haven’t seen you in your swimming trunks in quite some time.” I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively and I was happy to see a smile on his face.

*

“I swear I will chop off your fingers if you do that again.”

Now that picture made me wrinkle my nose and laugh at the same time. “That would be pretty bloody, don’t you think? And Nikk would kill you if you bloodied up his speeder.”

Kyp growled something incoherent under his breath as I reached for the radio system a third time. The man slapped my hand away. Again.

“Stop that!” I screeched at him.

“I cannot deal with that stuff you call music.”

My eyes widened in mock horror. “The audacity! I’ll have you know that this song is a classic.” I took another chance at dialing up the radio but to no avail. Kyp was darn fast when he wanted to be.

“It’s a stupid song with stupid lyrics.”

“You’re just annoyed because the song will be stuck in your head all day.” I laughed when he shot me a peeved glance, although there was a bit of amusement in his eyes. “And just so you don’t forget it, I’ll be humming it, too.”

We were half way home when I found the quietness to be a bit daunting and pressing so I had decided to turn on some music. Nikk’s collection was massive and although we share the same taste in music, I didn’t want to listen to the loud and aggressive after what had happened in the past few days. So I was very surprised to find a few old songs from back when I was a little girl, songs that my significant other couldn’t stand.

“ _You sometimes make me sad and blue_?” Kyp mimicked, faking the accent the girl was using for her song. “ _I wouldn’t have it any other way_?” He swerved the speeder into a lower lane while shaking his head. “Come on! She _likes_ it when he makes her sad? Or why else would she be blue? Tell me how twisted is that?”

“It’s not meant that way, you silly man.”

“Oh really?”

He shot me a sidelong glance. I couldn’t help but start to laugh. It was so great being back to our usual banter. So while I was forced to leave the radio system alone (I was pretty sure his next move would have been to bite me), I stared out the window.

Home was a tall building away from the heart of the city. We had a private landing pad large enough to hold three speeders. From afar I could see mine was where we’d left it, standing next to Kyp’s. It was an odd feeling coming home and feeling as if the entire universe had changed even though it hadn’t.

Kyp set Nikk’s speeder down gently. I opened the door and stepped out breathing in fresh air as I took a cursory look around. Absolutely nothing had changed. So why did I have the feeling that something was different?

Or was it only me?

Kyp locked up and beckoned for me to hurry. I took his extended hand and we walked up to the entrance of one of half a dozen lift tubes. I’d walked this path a thousand times before but never had I felt so nervous. I was just going home after all.

A computerized female voice welcomed us in various different languages as we stepped onto the lift. After touching my finger to the sixty-eighth floor, the whirr of the lift made me relax a bit. A few seconds later the doors parted again and Kyp and I walked down the corridor to our private domain.

Again, everything was as we’d left it.

The lights came on when we entered. A long hallway, from which two bedrooms, a workroom and a fresher branched off led towards the living room and the kitchen. It was quiet when I took small steps into my home, so quiet and so very peaceful. Just the way I liked it. Even the sweet smell of pink flowers and berries still clung to the air.

I stood in the living room while Kyp was in the office already starting on those calls he’d mentioned earlier. My eyes wandered along the walls where I’d hung holopictures of friends and family, of Kyp and myself from over the years.

Home.

Yet it felt different to me.

It felt…broken.

I shrugged out of my coat and threw it on the sofa before turning around and heading into the bedroom. The bed was still made, a large dark blue coverlet spread over it. My thin black nightgown was folded atop my pillow I noted as I started to undress. I had this need to get out of these clothes and throw them away.

I opened the closet and tore out a pair of baggy cargo pants and a simple black shirt. It was a comfortable combination for our little trip. I picked up my discarded clothes from the floor and tossed them into the hallway before dragging out a big duffel bag from underneath the bed. The thing had more than enough room to pack half our closet. But I didn’t think we’d be gone too long.

Maybe it’s a typical female thing but once I stood in front of the open doors of the closet, I had no idea what to pack. I threw in the bathing suit first, of course. I mean, water world. Maybe we’d have time for a swim in between whatever it was we would be doing. I threw a few shirts into the duffle as well, pants and even a little summer dress that Kyp had gotten me years ago. I hadn’t worn it once.

“We leave around three.”

I turned towards the door and raised my brows. “That’s almost another five hours.”

Kyp nodded, walking into the bedroom and letting himself fall flat onto the bed. “I know. I couldn’t get an earlier flight. Normally we would have had to wait until tomorrow night.”

“But?”

“I pulled some strings.”

I sat down next to him. “Do we stay here?”

Kyp took a deep breath and said nothing for a while. He took my hand and lifted it to his mouth, placing small kisses on my knuckles. “Come here.” He said quietly, tugging at my hand. I got up and rounded the bed before I straddled his lean body with my legs. I leaned forward, bracing my hands on his chest.

He squeezed my hips just slightly, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. The smile on his face turned into a boyish grin, which made me laugh. “You are so beautiful, sweetheart.” His voice was low as he spoke, his fingers wandering underneath my shirt. “So kriffing sexy.” He pulled me down for a mind blowing kiss and all of a sudden everything else was forgotten.

I loved the silence around us. I heard Kyp’s quiet breathing and felt the steady rhythm of his heart beneath my palms. I pulled back and our eyes met, a shiver running down my spine. I knew that look so well.

He reached up and cupped my face in the palm of his hand. His hands weren’t soft. His hands were those of a fighter, a warrior. His hands were those of a man who had been through hell in his life. But these rough hands could make me feel like a true woman. His touch was always soft and tender, his touch made me ache for more.

“I want to kiss you, Eliziya.” He whispered while touching my lower lip. “Right here.” He ran his fingers along my jaw, towards my ear and then down the side of my neck. “And here.”

His voice was a low, sexy, seductive whisper. I closed my eyes when his fingers tickled my skin and I knew he felt through our bond that I thoroughly enjoyed what he was doing. He watched me closely as he spoke in that husky whisper and I saw in his eyes a promise of rough passion rather than softness between the sheets. 

“I want to kiss you here.” His hands led the way down to my chest, his fingers running along the curve of my breast and lower until he reached my naval. “Will you let me, Eliziya?”

I leaned forward slowly, stretching the anticipation between us. I suckled his lower lip, biting down just a bit. He hissed and the sound turned me on so much, a shiver ran through me from head to toe. “Yes.”

His hands tangled in my hair as he pulled me closer and kissed me hard. A groan escaped his throat as he flipped me onto my back, never once breaking our kiss. I met him stroke for stroke, relishing in the feel of his heavy body atop of me, the heat radiating off him going through me in waves. I moved my hips to meet his, breaking the kiss on a sharp gasp as I distinctly felt him ready for me. 

Breathing hard he stared into my eyes, entwining our fingers together next to my head on the mattress. Moments passed in which we said nothing at all. There was only the two of us in that moment, two lovers showing each other exactly how much they meant to one another.

“I want you, Liz.” Kyp said when he leaned forward and grazed my earlobe with his teeth. “I want you so much it hurts.”

With lips slightly parted, eyes glazed with passion, he was beauty to behold.

“And you shall have me.” I whispered in return. “I’m all yours.”

There was a deep groan in the back of his throat. “Mine.” He said and when he kissed me again, it seemed time came to a halt.


	21. Chapter 21

I listened to Kyp’s steadily beating heart as I laid my head on his chest, running my fingers around his naval. He played with my hair while the two of us simply enjoyed this quiet moment together. There was no need to speak because words would have ruined this wonderful moment we had and since we both knew it wouldn’t last long the silence was absolutely… _perfect_.

I let my mind wander and asked myself what the future held for us. Would we have these sorts of quiet moments often? Trying to be honest with myself, I didn’t want quiet all the time. I wanted a house full of laughter and fun and joy. I wanted more than just Kyp and myself. I wanted –

I stopped those thoughts right there and slowly sat up. The way things were going it wasn’t the time to start thinking about family. It wasn’t even something Kyp and I had generally talked about, not even in passing. Between all the stuff we had to do, the topic never really came up.

“Everything alright?” Kyp asked softly, lifting my hands to his mouth. He kissed my knuckles in succession and a flutter went through my belly.

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

He shrugged. “Just wondering.” He pushed himself up into a sitting position and cupped my face in both his hands. I felt like I would melt on the spot the way he kissed me…so slow, so enticing…and just like that I wanted more.

But there wouldn’t be more. At least not now. He touched his forehead to mine and closed his eyes for a moment. “I love you, Eliziya.” He whispered and I bit my lip to hold back a girlish sounding giggle.

Eventually, we had to accept the fact that it was time to face the world again.

It wasn’t the most romantic way to end our little get together between the sheets but we had a time span of about an hour and a half before we had to be at the space port to catch our flight off planet. We got up and got dressed, finished packing in record time and were out the door only thirty minutes later.

This time I actually went out _armed_. I felt the need to pat myself on the shoulder for a job well done.

Outside the night was as quiet as it ever got on Coruscant.

It wasn’t.

The only real and complete silence you would get on this planet was within your own four walls and then only if you really had a privacy bubble in place. And since that sort of technology was mainly reserved for communications companies, the things cost an arm and a leg.

We headed up towards the landing area for the residential speeders, our private little lot a few feet away. The place was deserted.

I looked up into the night sky, asking myself when a sentient being had last seen stars from this vantage point. Hundreds of years ago maybe? Maybe even longer?

It’s kind of sad when you think about it. Coruscant is a magnificent place and there are always new things to learn about new cultures but the one thing this planet lacks is nature. No naturally grown trees, no naturally grown parks or sees or rivers. Everything that even comes close to nature is handmade.

With my thoughts revolving around this subject, I noticed belatedly that the speeder lot wasn’t as deserted as I had thought. A tingle started at the nape of my neck and ran down my spine, a most uncomfortable feeling indeed. I shivered as if someone had dipped me into an ice cold bath, including the big fat ice cubes.

I stopped in my tracks and narrowed my eyes in the dimly lit area. Darkness was another thing widely foreign on this world. Sure, there was night but it never got so dark that you couldn’t see anymore. There were always lights somewhere in the vicinity. Right now I was standing underneath a hovering lamp that was strung behind other spheres of light like a necklace.

I saw a shadow a few feet away. I knew deep down in my gut that this shadow was watching me. And I knew that this wasn’t just an average person lurking in the dark – I just knew it was Vance.

Closing my eyes I took deep, steadying breaths. Maybe I was only seeing things. After the past few days who could really blame me? At one point my brain just had to fry and go poof.  Maybe this was it. Maybe this was the time and place I had to accept the fact that I was ready for the nuthouse.

I opened my eyes and frowned. The shadow was gone.

“You okay?” Kyp had kept walking, already throwing the duffel bag into the back of the speeder. I caught up with him and gave him a curt nod, forcing a fake reassuring smile that I knew he wouldn’t buy, not even for a second.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” I kissed him softly, nipping at his lip the way I knew he liked it and hoped it would straighten out the lines that appeared on his face. Lines that let me know he was yet again irritated.

“You sure about that?” He asked a moment later with raised brows.

“Absolutely.” I walked over to the passenger side, waiting for Kyp to get in first. When his door shut with a quiet click, I looked back to where I’d seen the shadow.

There was no one there.

* 

“How long will it take for us to reach Deyer?” I asked in a low voice while staring out the side window. I had my hands in my lap, forcing myself to stay calm and relaxed.

“A few days.” Kyp answered, swerving the speeder into an upper traffic lane.

I was really excited. I hadn’t been offworld in years and Ossus didn’t count. For me going offworld means vacation time. And the last real vacation we’d been on together…huh, I can’t even remember. Well, I can remember _how_ we spent most of our time but I can’t really recall more than our hotel room…

So I held my excitement at bay while asking him all sorts of questions about Deyer. I’d read up on the planet years ago but hearing details from Kyp was so much more enlightening. Because in his voice I detected something akin to homesickness. Of course, he’d never admit it. I knew that a part of him, even if only a tiny itty bitty part, was looking forward to returning home. It was the place he was born, after all.

He told me about the vast oceans and the beaches, how the capitol was built upon rafts, he told me about the swamp region – which, of course, had me wrinkling my nose. Not so much interested in the swamps and the bugs but the water and the beach? All game.

We reached the spaceport with fifteen minutes to spare. The place was beyond crowded. All sorts of beings walked to their designated areas, some of them carrying their luggage while others used grav sleds or even droids. A female voice spoke in several different languages over the intercom, letting us know at what time and where certain ships would be lifting off.

Kyp held my hand as he veered us through the maze of people. From the corner of my eye I caught a young family running towards the nearest gate to catch their flight on time, the mother yelling at the top of her lungs for the little ones to hurry up. I smiled at the sight. Up front there were two Wookies and a small human in a heated argument and I thought it was interesting how the Wookies spoke in their language and the human stuck to basic.

Understanding is such an interesting thing.

My eyes roamed the rest of the hall and then I halted again. I let go of Kyp’s hand and stopped dead in my tracks.

There was a slidewalk that took pedestrians to the upper levels and on one of these slidewalks I saw him.

I saw Vance and the bastard was smiling at me.

So much for hoping I’d been seeing things…

The first thing that crossed my mind was why neither one of us, Kyp or myself, had received any sort of inkling from the Force that something was amiss. We should have _known_. We should have at least felt a flurry of warning of some sort but there had been nothing at all. We felt absolutely safe and maybe that had been our mistake.

“What is it?” Kyp asked with a frown on his face.

Good God, this could only go horribly wrong. Whatever I did now, it could only go wrong. I debated whether to lie to Kyp. I debated for about a second and dismissed the thought. Not only would lying be the stupidest thing to do but it wouldn’t do me a damned good, either. It bordered on insanity to try and lie to Kyp.

Telling him the truth, telling him that I had seen Vance back home…I cringed at the thought and made a face.

“Liz, what’s wrong?” Kyp stepped closer. He was worried, I could tell by the slight vibration in his voice and the way he took my hand into his.

I blew out a breath and glanced over his shoulder. Vance was still up there, smiling at me. For a moment it seemed like he thought he was some powerful being looking down upon us, overly dramatic for my taste.

“Liz.” Kyp pressed on.

“Take a look behind you.” I said, shifting my gaze to my feet. “Up near the slidewalk.”

He turned around slowly, never letting go of my hand. His grip tightened a little and when he turned back to look at me, his face showed only confusion. I had expected anger and extraordinarily pissed-offedness but there was nothing at all. He raised his brows. “There’s nothing there.”

I glanced back up to the slidewalk. Vance wasn’t there anymore. I swallowed a lump growing in my throat, feeling a cold sweat break out all over.

“He was there.” I said slowly, avoiding Kyp’s stare. “When we left home, I thought I saw someone in the shadows. And then just now…I swear I saw him up there.”

I didn’t have to say Vance’s name out loud. Kyp knew who I was talking about.

There was a burst of cold emanating from him and I shivered. I tried not to look at him.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

I raised a brow at that, still staring over his shoulder. There wasn’t anything interesting to see, I just didn’t want to have to deal with the accusatory look in his eyes.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Because I didn’t want to believe that he was back. I didn’t want to believe that he would dare show his face near me again. I wanted to believe that all this was over with.”

Kyp cursed under his breath and dug out his comlink from his pocket. I was sure he was going to call Nikk. He turned on his heel and moved away just a few steps, leaving me with my arms crossed in front of my chest, wondering when all this would finally end.

But most of all I wondered _how_ all this would end. 

*

“Nikk’s on his way.” Kyp said quietly, tucking his com link back into his pocket.

I grabbed his elbow and pulled him aside, away from the general public. I found a little corner next to a standard credit machine within a small alcove where we could have just a touch of privacy if we kept our voices low.

As in very low.

There were surveillance cams hovering in each and every corner, security officers walking about and eyeing everyone as if they were potential criminals and any odd movements would be considered a reason for them to gang up on you and haul your ass into a back room. So I made certain that whoever had their eye on us, and there was definitely _someone_ watching, they would think we wanted a moment together.

I leaned against the wall and pulled Kyp towards me. He braced one hand next to my head and for all intents and purposes it seemed like we were just an average human couple wanting a bit of quiet time. Only where there would usually have been a spark of desire in Kyp’s eyes, now all I saw was a spark of good old fashioned I-am-pissed-off.

“I just want to leave.” I whispered.

“Will leaving make him go away?” He spoke with the voice he usually reserved for students at the temple, which made me feel that much more stupid.

“No but –“

“No more running away, remember?”

I _had_ said that, hadn’t I? And I knew running away would solve none of our problems because either Vance would follow us or he’d be waiting for us when we got back. I could run to the outskirts of the universe and I would always look over my shoulder fearing that he might find me. And I really didn’t want to imagine what he would do once he got what he wanted.

It’s pretty amazing what the urge for revenge can do to a person, how a person can step over the line…

“What do you suppose we do then?” I hissed at Kyp with a frown. “We’re at the space port, for Force’s sake! You want to stake him out here in public?”

“Of course not.”

“Behead him then, perhaps?” I asked raising my brows. “Because it’s either that or we come up with a plan. Which I find quite difficult given the fact that _we’re in public_.”

Kyp closed his eyes for a long moment. I felt through our bond a jumble of emotions about ready to break free. He was holding himself together but just barely and that fact was blatantly clear by the way he kept balling his hands into fists. If Vance would have shown up in that moment, he would have been a dead man. And then Kyp would have had a lot of explaining to do to the authorities and that was a scenario I wanted to avoid.

Jedi or no Jedi – you can’t go out killing people just because you feel like it.

“We wait.”

“For what?” I tried my best to keep my voice down but it was difficult. “He’s watching us, Kyp. I can feel it.”

“I know.” He took a deep breath and finally opened his eyes again. When he looked at me the hard edges in his face softened a bit and his lips lifted into a slight smile. “Let him watch. Let him see that we’re not afraid.” He straightened up and backed away. “Never afraid.”

Easy for him to say. He wasn’t the one who’d been locked up in a room with a lullaby playing throughout the entire time and let’s not forget the beatings and the poison…

The quiet beep of Kyp’s comlink brought me back to the present and I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Just thinking back to Vance’s smiling face and his need to take revenge made my stomach twist in uncomfortable ways.

I took deep breaths and kept telling myself that this was easy. Because, really…I had a Jedi Master at my side…Vance had lost the upper hand when Seiya turned on him. So it really couldn’t be that difficult, could it?

Kyp was talking quietly on his comlink and I recognized Nikk’s deep voice on the other end. Kyp held out his hand for me to take and he led us back to the main entrance of the space port. We had to squeeze through a throng of beings and at times I wrinkled my nose due to the thick smell of various body odors assaulting my nose.

It was cool outside and still marginally dark. I hugged my arms around myself, realizing that not only was I hungry but the fresher was sort of calling my name too.

“You’ve summoned me to save your asses yet again?”

I whirled around and drew my brows down into a deep frown. Nikk approached with a stupid grin on his face. The fact that various females of various species kept ogling him was proof that he looked pretty good. He wore a short black leather jacket and underneath a simple dark red shirt. He’d pulled his hair back into a ponytail and there was a three days growth of beard along his jaw, giving him a bit of a darker feel.

“We’ve got a situation.” Kyp said in a low tone, embracing his friend quickly before stepping back. “I thought back-up might not be such a bad idea.”

“Where’s Anja?” I asked and I noted how his eyes darkened just a bit at the sound of her name.

“With Seiya. Babysitting until we can finally have him shipped to Ossus.”

“Ossus?”

“Yeah. Jedi training and all that. Ring a bell?” He turned his gaze back towards Kyp which gave me the sense of being completely ignored.

Kyp hurriedly gave him the lay of the situation. Nikk nodded here and there but otherwise he kept quiet. He took a deep breath a moment later, let it out on a sigh and shrugged his broad shoulders.

“Well, this is easy.” He finally said, a bit too calm for my taste.

“Easy?” I asked slowly.

“We’re going to have to lure him out into the open. He might not be working alone.”

“I’m pretty sure he’s not working alone.” Kyp said.

Nikk nodded. “As I said, easy. We use Liz as bait and take him down.”

I had to pick my jaw up off the ground.


	22. Chapter 22

I sensed Kyp was about to mouth off at Nikk but I beat him to it. I was _stunned_. In hindsight I understood where Nikk was coming from because I _would_ be perfect bait to lure Vance out into the open but, and this was a _big_ but, I wasn’t about to put my life on the line again. Not after everything I had already had to endure at his hands.

“Bait?!” I narrowed my eyes on Nikk and when he simply arched a perfect brow and when I noticed how his lips rose into a smile, I snapped. This is how it’s always been between Nikk and myself. I love the guy to bits and pieces but there are times when he upsets me so much that I just want to pummel him with a big stick. This was such a time. Too bad I didn’t have a stick.

I tackled him and I was kind of proud of myself because I actually succeeded in throwing Nikk to the ground. My surprise was mirrored in his face and that fact alone almost made me laugh. Almost. I straddled him while gripping the front of his shirt with both hands. “Do you have any idea what that bastard _did_ to me?” I yelled at him while, at the same time, I tried to control my anger. It was like this enormous bubble rising upwards inside me and when it burst I would go ballistic on his butt. “Even to suggest –“

“Get off me!” Nikk shoved me with both hands and I landed flat on my ass. He got to his feet in a graceful motion while I stared up at him. “Why the kriff don’t you just calm down and listen to what I have to say?”

“Bait, Nikk! Bait usually _dies_.” Kyp tried to help me up as I struggled to get to my feet but I shrugged him off. There were tears in my eyes. I was angry and scared at the same time and that’s not a good mixture to begin with. “I barely got out of there the first time!”

And still there was the slightest smile on his face and it ticked me off so much that I went at him again. People were starting to take notice of our little squabble that quickly turned into a fight. I balled my hands into fists and just blindly went at him. He kept ducking out of the way but at least I succeeded in completely wiping the smile off his face. Too much had happened in the past few days for me to stay calm and I didn’t care that security was coming closer with their hands hovering over their weapons or that holo cameras were zooming in on us. I knew we’d be on the daily news but I just didn’t care.

Kyp was the one who broke us up after I’d smacked Nikk in the jaw. Always the gentleman, Nikk simply pushed me none so gently rather than hit me. In a way I had hoped for him to retaliate in some fashion but he’d never hurt me. He was too much of honorable man to hit a woman. Plus, I’m pretty sure he’d have to deal with Kyp and that was a thing Nikk tried to avoid as best as possible. Because last time they had really gotten into it, it had ended in the medical ward for both of them.  

I calmed myself by taking deep breaths and frowned at the sudden silence between the three of us. Kyp and Nikk were communicating over the Force; I sensed that there was something passing between them and the thing that irked me was that I wasn’t a part of it. But maybe they were yelling at each other and didn’t want the surrounding people to hear what they had to say? It wouldn’t have surprised me at all, especially with the ammo of curse words they had hidden in their brains.

My attention suddenly shifted towards a group of beings behind Nikk and at first I didn’t know why I was drawn to that specific point. There wasn’t anything unusual to see; most of them were single people with their luggage, waiting for their transports. I saw a few of the security guards walking around the premises, one of them talking into the ear piece of a com link. It’s when I saw a flash of a red light that realization dawned and at the same time there was a sense of danger permeating the air.

“Get down.” I said evenly yet quickly, eyeing Nikk and tugging at Kyp’s hand. They didn’t argue. We ducked to the ground just in time when a perfect blaster shot sizzled through the air where Nikk had been standing just a moment before.

“Told you they were behind me!” Nikk hissed between his teeth as the crowd around us dispersed with screams and yells of horror. We ducked through the main entrance of the space port, keeping away from the stampeding crowd and whoever it was shooting at us.

“What’s going on?” I asked, confused. My hands were shaking and I kept having to swallow because my stomach was on a revolt.

“I realized I was being followed.” Nikk said with a shrug. “I needed a reason to lure them out into the open.”

I blinked. “What?” I frowned at him, feeling even worse than before. If I moved too quickly, I was sure I would lose the last meal I’d had.

“Distracting them. Whoever they are. They took the time to get ready and blast us while we fought, Liz.”

“So you did this on purpose?” I was about ready to punch him again.

“It doesn’t matter.” Kyp piped in. “What matters is that we have situation to deal with. Simple.”

“Simple?” I echoed, aghast. “This is _not_ simple.” I rubbed my forehead and groaned loudly. Why could this mess not just go away and never come back? Why could Vance not poof into thin air? We’d all be happy, wouldn’t we?

I swallowed a lump in my throat. But then an annoying thought crossed my mind that I didn’t like at all. “Why can’t we sense him?”

Nikk blew out a breath. “It seems our bestest friend in the world is pretty invisible.”

“Invisible.” Kyp said and the look on the face reminded of the time he ate some odd looking vegetable from Tattooine and nearly vomited across the table. We were sitting at a restaurant at the time; I thought it was funny. But now, not so much. Now the disgust on his face mimicked my own.

Invisibility was a bad, bad thing. 

“Unlike with those wretched Ysalamiri animals,” Nikk said, “this invisibility thing makes them us deaf to their presence. Completely. Ysalamiri create this bubble but this here? For a Jedi, it’s like walking up against a wall. And as far as I know there’s only one thing that can make a person invisible to the Force.”

“Taozin.” Kyp said in a low voice.

“Exactly.”

I’d never heard of Taozin before. Later I found out that Taozin are scales from an animal and somehow, when a person wears these scales, they are no longer connected to the Force. As Nikk had said, they become completely invisible.

Wonderful.

“So what do we do?” I asked rubbing my temples. I felt a headache from hell coming on. I hoped all this would be over soon because I was exhausted, tired of everything. I just wanted to leave, get away from Coruscant and not look back for a while. I yearned for normality.

Nikk sighed and I didn’t like the look he shot me.

“No.” Kyp said, shaking his head and jabbing a finger into Nikk’s chest. “We will _not_ use her as bait. And that’s final.”

“If you have a better idea, I’m all ears.” Nikk said quietly. I realized that he didn’t like it himself but he was at a loss, as were we.

A deep female voice sounded throughout the entire space port, asking everyone to stay calm until the situation was resolved. All flights were put on hold until they could figure out what had happened. The message kept repeating over and over again in various different languages.

I felt horrible.

Sure, I kept telling myself that all this wasn’t my fault but still I felt dreadful. And all these innocent people were now in the middle of some twisted stupid turf war that Vance had started. All these innocent people could get hurt and how could I live with that knowing that I might have been able to prevent it?

Turning back to Kyp and Nikk I took a deep breath. “I’ll do it.”

They snapped their heads towards me in unison, which looked a bit comical especially since the expressions on their faces were equally shocked. “What?”

“If we don’t get Vance out into the open, people could get hurt. Or worse.” My fingers started to tremble as I really understood what I was saying. Putting my life out there again? Good God, I was losing the last still active brain cells! “And isn’t this what being a Jedi is all about? Protecting the innocent?”

Maybe I was on some sort of hero trip, I don’t know but evidently Kyp thought I had lost my mind.

“Being a Jedi is not about risking your own life.” Kyp hissed as he stepped closer. “You can’t be serious, Liz.”

I shrugged. “I am serious.”

“I will _not_ let you do this –“

“It’s not your decision to make.” I smiled at him, knowing that what I was asking him to do was horrible. I was asking him to possibly witness me getting hurt a second time in just a few days. Would he forgive me, I wondered? Forgive me for putting him through this yet again? And then I had to wonder if our life would always be like this. Would there ever be a time when we didn’t have to look over our shoulders and ask ourselves if there was someone out there to hurt us?

“No.” Kyp pulled me closer, grabbing my arms with his hands and staring right through me. His eyes held all the emotions he kept bottled up inside but the fear he felt for me leaked out bit by bit. And it was tearing me up inside, making it hard to breathe. Raw emotions shot right through me and I didn’t like that feeling at all. “No.” He said again, shaking his head. “We’ll find another way.”

“We don’t have much time.” Nikk said quietly. Kyp whirled around and stared daggers at him. If looks could kill, Nikk would have been a smoldering pile of ash.

“He’s right.” I reached up and turned Kyp’s head towards me by placing my fingers on his jaw. “And anyway, you’ll be there. And so will Nikk. We can do this together.”

For a long moment Kyp said nothing at all. He just stared at me, his green eyes tormented by the decisions we had to make. I hoped that I could convince him that this was the right course of action; it would have been the easiest, the more simple solution. But would it truly be the correct one?

“No, Liz. You’re not doing this.” Kyp shook his head sadly and took a step back. The absence of his touch was like a blow because it felt differently. I knew right then and there that Kyp had come up with a plan and I also knew that he wouldn’t share his plan with me. Because the only important thing for him was my protection.

He turned on his heel and stalked off, leaving Nikk and myself behind staring at his back.


	23. Chapter 23

I ran after Kyp, having to weave my way through frightened beings clinging to one another. Their world was so different from mine. The fear I saw on their faces was something I had to deal with far too often, something they only came in contact with maybe once or twice in their life time; if they were lucky, maybe even never.

I called out for Kyp to wait but he wasn’t listening. He was full out in stubborn mode and whatever he was up to, he was under the sole impression that nothing could stop him. He should have known better.

When I finally caught up with him, I grabbed his elbow wanting to spin him around but he shrugged me off, stalking forward to whatever destination he had in mind. Annoyed by him, I ran faster until I was able to block his way by placing myself right in his path and slapping my palms on the center of his chest.

“What are you _doing_?” I hissed at him. But, as it is, Master Durron is a _perfectionist_ at ignoring that which he does not want to deal with. He stopped for half a second, maybe even less, and then walked around me as if I wasn’t even there in the first place. I pursed my lips, narrowed my eyes and simply sighed. This wasn’t working at all. I tossed the idea of a diplomatic solution and opted for attack instead.

I ran at his back and jumped him from behind, wrapping my arms around his neck. Sure he stopped, and he didn’t make a single sound but ultimately he won. He twisted me around and I found the situation reversed with one of his arms around my waist and the other around my shoulders.

“What are you doing?” I asked him again, more loudly this time and definitely firmer.

“Saving your life.” He whispered hoarsely, his warm breath running along my neck.

“By risking your own?” Incredulity made me wrinkle my brow. “Are you crazy?”

From the corner of my eye I saw Nikk approaching. He wasn’t smiling, which I would have expected from him but instead the expression on his face was rather dire. Kyp loosened his grip around me but he didn’t let go. “What?” He asked Nikk with an edge to his voice.

“We’ve got company.” Nikk breathed, pointing forward behind a group of backpacking youngsters.

I saw a man lurking in between the group of beings. He walked deliberately slow and when I finally _did_ catch sight of him, it was the smile that made a cold shiver run along my spine.

A part of me wanted to turn around and run. It was the simplest solution by far. But then Vance would find us again, wouldn’t he?

Kyp stepped away from me and I watched, completely stunned, as he walked towards Vance calmly with his hands tucked into the pockets of his jacket.

*

It was like a bubble of coldness surrounded him as he slowly made his way towards Vance. There was no change in his outer demeanor. To the average person it was as if he was greeting a stranger. But to me it felt like he was on a mission. Straightforward and taking no crap from anyone. It was the strings of cold that unnerved me. Describing him as angry was understating the fact. Nothing could get in his way, that much was certain. And if something or someone decided on meddling…even Nikk seemed to understand this because he stayed behind, expression grim.

But not me.

Like hell I was going to stand back.

I caught up to Kyp and took his hand into mine. He didn’t stop, he kept moving between beings speaking to one another in hushed tones. No one paid attention as we passed by, as I excused us for accidently shoving them.

My heart felt like it was trying to pump itself up into my throat. With each step we took, I grew more nervous. And all the while I wondered what Kyp had planned. I knew he couldn’t be so crazy as to attack the man in public. The repercussions…I couldn’t even think about that.

I swallowed a lump in my throat when Kyp stopped abruptly. I leaned into his back a little, squeezing his hand with all I had. Vance stood only a few feet away from us with his hands clasped behind his back and flashing a fake smile. It was so strange knowing that he was out to do harm while hundreds of beings around us had no idea at all. They went along with their daily routine of life, waiting on their flight while security roamed the place with eagle eyes.

Not even security knew that Vance was the person they were looking for because he seemed like an average, nice old human man. There was nothing extraordinary about his outside appearance. He wore a fancy dark blue suit that made him look like a business man. And to the outside world his smile seemed kind and inviting.

Truly, it wasn’t.

Seconds passed in silence as Kyp and Vance stared at each other. Hatred was thick in the air. No one else noticed.

Vance moved slowly, dropping his hands to his sides and lifting his arm. In his palm he held a portable holo projector. I had the most horrible feeling when he switched it on and I saw myself in miniature form floating centimeters above his palm. It was me locking up my speeder on my way to work. The hologram shifted to another image of me speaking with a patient outside the medical center. Another image showed Anja with me at her favorite café. I remembered that day because it was the day Kyp was returning from a long term mission. I had been so nervous I had needed caffeine to calm myself. That day had been almost a year earlier.

More images from various places and situations popped up and all of them had one thing in common: me. They were normal things that I would do; work, going home, having dinner with Kyp, strolling through the city with Anja…and Vance had been there all along.

The coldness I had felt earlier emanating from Kyp turned brittle suddenly, like water turning to ice. It clung to him, seeping into his pores until I was sure it about pierced his soul.

How could one single individual have so much power?

Because knowing that Vance held these images shattered the sense of safety in an instant.

“What do you want?” Kyp asked in a neutral tone. He held on to my hand but stepped in front of me, as if to protect me.

“You are not invincible.” Vance answered, his calm easy-going smile still in place. The holographic images above the projector kept going and none of them were repeats. How long had he been following me? And for that matter, why hadn’t I noticed? On a planet this big, you always felt watched but never in my dreams had I expected _this_.

I should have known better, right? I was trained to feel someone’s emotions, I was trained to know when danger lurked nearby. Why hadn’t I noticed?

Then I remembered Seiya and how he could use the Force and twist it to his liking. Had he been carrying out Vance’s orders? How long had this been going on to begin with?

“I am not inclined to physically hurt you in any way, Master Durron.” Vance continued quietly. “Physical hurt is not satisfactory.”

“You’re looking for revenge. _Fine_. I get that. But you leave her out of this.”

“Or what?” He laughed softly and shrugged broad shoulders, the fabric of his fancy suit shining in the light from up above. “We’re in a public place. You cannot afford to let go of your anger.” He pursed his lips. “Although, it would be in your nature to do just that, wouldn’t it? The murder of innocent people seems not to concern you. In fact, it doesn’t seem to concern anyone. After all, you are still alive. No one ever deemed it necessary to punish you. It’s about time this mistake was rectified, don’t you agree?”

Kyp let go of my hand and took a step closer. His absence was like a blow to the stomach. Almost immediately I reached out to him, I followed him towards Vance like a magnet but it was Nikk who pulled me back. His hand on my shoulder, he wouldn’t let me go.

“You want her because you want me to suffer.” Kyp said slowly. “You want me to feel your pain. You want me to know what it’s like when the person you care for most in the universe is taken from you.”

Vance laughed. “So we understand each other.” He tucked the holo projector back into his pocket and folded his hands.

“You want me to suffer because I killed your sons.”

“You destroyed an entire planet, Master Durron.”

I blinked as I saw a smile appear on Kyp’s face. “I imagine their death didn’t take long. It took only the push of a button to incinerate them. Their bodies ripped apart by the blast, burned to a crisp. Maybe some of those filthy imperials could still scream before they were torn into shreds. Maybe some of them still managed to pray to whatever Gods they believed in. Maybe your sons screamed out for their Daddy the moment they realized that they were about to be killed.” He laughed as he stepped closer still. I swallowed and leaned into Nikk as I realized Kyp was goading Vance and surprisingly, it was working.

Vance’s face grew impassive, his skin pale and sallow. His fists turned white as he gripped his fingers tightly, seemingly holding on to what little control he had left. I understood then that Kyp wanted Vance to attack first because then all he had to do was defend himself.

“You want me to suffer because you know I scattered your sons’ molecules all over space. You know I turned them into dust. I turned them into nothing. All that’s left are the memories you hold because not even your wife could deal with the fact that an eighteen year old kid took away what you held dearest in your heart. I took your life away, Vance. I took _everything_ from you. And here I am _free_ and _alive_.” He chuckled softly. “Where were you when your family needed you? You were supposed to protect them, weren’t you? Yet you _failed_. Your sons are dead because _you_ failed. Your wife is dead because you failed. You’re a failure, Vance. You are _nothing_. Just like your sons. Just like your wife. Dead. _Nothing_.”

It was the sudden inhuman yell that made me gasp. Nikk’s arms encircled my waist and he pulled me closer while hurriedly stepping away. Vance attacked without warning, holding a small knife in his hand that he no doubt had hidden in the sleeve of his jacket. Beings around him jumped aside with shrieks and screams and security caught the commotion just a second later.

Kyp did not use the Force to drop Vance to his knees. He balled his hand into a tight fist and rammed it into the side of Vance’s head. He stumbled back a step but went into attack position again, slicing sideways with his knife. Kyp jumped aside and grabbed his hand, twisting Vance’s wrist. He dropped the knife and Kyp tore Vance down to the ground but pulled his knee up at the same time. It connected with his armpit and the audible crack made me wince. Vance screamed out in pain for just a moment. Kyp took a large step back and held his hands up as security intervened with blasters at the ready.


	24. Chapter 24

There was a sudden and thick hushed quietness after the crowd had dispersed, watching while armed space port security leveled their weapons on Kyp and Vance. One of the guards kicked Vance’s knife away, while another grabbed Kyp’s shoulders and pushed him down to his knees. Kyp did nothing to defend himself. He stared at Vance with an emotionless mask. Vance lay on the ground writhing in pain, holding his arm to his side and breathing heavily. It wasn’t enough, in my opinion. As awful as it was, I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to feel the pain ten times over. He deserved it.

He deserved so much more.

I held on to that thought with disdain in my heart. Wasn’t this the exact same thing Vance had been after all this time? Revenge for that which had been done to him? Having another suffer for his own pain?

I forced myself to look away from Vance, feeling only pity for him.

The first thing for the guards to do was arrest the attacker, right? Because the guy with the broken arm and dislocated shoulder couldn’t possibly be the bad guy. Like hell I was going to let them take Kyp into custody without having a say.

The moment I heard the jingle of stun cuffs, I ripped myself free of Nikk’s grasp. I ignored his high-pitched call for me to stay put.

“No!” I yelled at the top of my lungs, pushing the security guard aside. Admittedly, it wasn’t the smartest thing to do because just like that, I heard over a dozen clicking sounds all around me. More blasters leveled on me as I stepped in front of Kyp. Through our bond I heard him urging me to stop but I wouldn’t.

“He’s not the bad guy here.” I said loudly. My voice carried in the silence and I hoped dearly that I wasn’t making a big mistake. You never knew if one of these guards was a trigger happy lunatic. I wasn’t keen on getting shot. “Darvis Vance attacked us. Not the other way around.”

“Step away.” The security guard said. He was a young human male with closely cropped blond hair. He seemed to have a military background with the way he pointed that damned blaster into my face, with the way he slowly circled us. “Now.”

“No.” I said sternly, shaking my head. “This has gone on long enough. I will not let Vance win.”

“We can straighten this out later. Now I need you to step away.”

“No!” I raised my voice. “Vance kidnapped me! Poisoned me! You’re arresting the wrong person.”

“Eliziya.”

Kyp’s soft and tender voice brought my eyes down towards him and my heart nearly broke. The conviction on his face, the knowledge that he would do anything to resolve this situation peacefully...it was the right thing to do. I knew that but still it was hard to accept. “They’re only doing their job. All this will be cleared up soon. Let them do what they have to do.”

I knelt down beside him and touched my fingers to his face. “This isn’t right. And you know it.”

“We can make this right, sweetheart.” He took my hands into his and kissed my fingers, smiling that warm smile that I adored so very much. “All this will be over soon, I promise.” Kyp took a deep breath and touched my palm to his face. “Let them do what they have to do, Eliziya. I’ll be alright.”

I hated having to see how the security guard signaled one of his buddies to cuff Kyp while another dragged Vance to his feet. All the while Kyp smiled at me; he sent reassuring thoughts and feelings through the Force but it didn’t make me feel any better.

Nikk came up behind me and placed a hand on my shoulder. He tugged me back to his body and wrapped his arms around me while we watched security lead Kyp and Darvis Vance away.

And all I could so was finally let go of the tears that I had held back for so long.

*

I wasn’t allowed into the interrogation room. Nikk and I sat in a long hallway, the kind you would see on these detective and police shows on the net. There was a row of bright white glow panels on the ceiling, ugly white plasteel chairs screwed tightly to the floor. No decorations on the pale grey walls and no plants either. Only a water dispenser in the far corner with a few plastic cups.

“You’re making me nervous, Liz.” Nikk said in a tired voice. He sat leaning back against the wall with his long legs stretched out and hands folded atop his belly. I caught a glimpse of his blaster holstered at his hip along with a knife tucked inside his boot.

I was too restless to sit so I paced along the hall, counting each second until that damned door opened and Kyp stepped out with good news.

By the Force, I hoped for good news.

He had been in there for over an hour already. Kyp wasn’t the guy shooting at innocent people and this fact just had to be obvious to security, as well. So what the hell was taking so long? I was so nervous and frustrated and irritated – scared – that common sense sort of short circuited. Security had a whole bunch of questions no doubt and it wasn’t just space port security in the interrogation room with Kyp. CSF had come in, too.

“Liz!” Nikk barked suddenly and I jumped. “Sit your ass down, woman.”

I frowned at him. “I can’t sit down calmly when I have no idea what’s going to happen next.”

Nikk snorted. “Kyp will come through that door any minute, sweetheart. You’ll see. And he’ll have a smug smile on his face, too. Because once they realize who he is, they’ll want to get rid of him as soon as possible. They don’t need complications with the Jedi.”

“He didn’t do anything wrong, Nikk. I hate this.”

“It’s their job.”

I crossed my arms in front of my chest and started pacing the length of hallway again. I knew they were only doing their job but it didn’t make it any easier. I was jittery, on the verge of completely losing it. I dragged my hand through my hair and tugged with a little groan.

“Will you stop that? Sit down or I will drag your butt back here and nail you to the chair.”

I cracked a small smile. “You have nails in your arsenal of weapons beneath that coat?”

Nikk chuckled to himself and closed his eyes. He seemed extraordinarily tired. There were dark shadows around his eyes and his overall appearance was rather disheveled which wasn’t like Nikk at all.

I walked up to him and dropped down to the floor in front next to his feet. Startled, he arched a questioning brow but then his expression turned into surprise as I pulled him into a warm hug. “You are a wonderful friend, Nikk Vox.” I whispered and kissed his cheek.

He said absolutely nothing for a long moment. I couldn’t place the look in his blue eyes but I sensed I was making him uncomfortable. Nikk wasn’t the sort of guy who was used to friendly compassion. He’d had a rough life growing up and most beings who’d been kind and nice to him had betrayed him in the end. He was always careful when it came to people getting close to him. And since Nikk and I usually knocked heads together, a warm hug coming from me was odd.

I hugged him again. “Thank you, Nikk.”

He cleared his throat a few times before raising a single pierced eyebrow. “Yeah, okay. Stop with all this friendly mushy stuff. I swear I’ll get sick.”

“There’s a fresher just around the corner.” I winked and sat down beside him. Still, I was restless. I couldn’t hold my feet still or my hands. Taking deep yet quivering breaths, I tried to calm myself some more but whatever I did, nothing seemed to work.

“What are your plans when this is all over with?” I asked Nikk, hoping that a little conversation would take my mind off the situation for the time being.

“I need to head home for a little while.” He said in a soft voice yet I detected an undercurrent of sadness that didn’t befit Nikk at all.

“Has something happened?”

Nikk shrugged. “I’m not sure yet. I got a call from Cal. Remember him?”

I don’t think I will ever forget Cal Diggs, Nikk’s former bodyguard and all over son of a sith. There had been a mutual dislike between Cal and myself when we first met and to this day, I still don’t like him and I doubt I ever will. “Yeah. I remember him. Vividly.”

“Cal never calls just to say hello. So I know something’s up. He asked me to return home as soon as I could.” Nikk rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “That’s all he said.”

“Maybe they just miss you.” I put in helpfully. The doubt on his features spoke volumes. “Or not.” I added.

“Something’s definitely up. So I’m heading home once this is resolved to see what’s going on.”

“When you see your mother and your step-father, say hi to them for me.” I couldn’t help the grin that rose to my face. And I got the reaction I’d been hoping for from Nikk. His scowl was priceless.

His step-father was a former Jedi colleague named Pax Orlon. He was our age and he’d fallen madly in love with Nikk’s mother. Nikk, of course, hadn’t liked it one bit but in the end, he’d been powerless. Pax and Lady Zhenya had gotten married only a year after meeting one another. It was like a fairy tale romance.

“You know, last time I was home I caught them kissing.” Nikk said, making a face. “So wrong on so many levels.”

“Why?” I laughed at him. Even after all these years, he could still be so adolescent when it came to his mother.

“She’s my mom, Liz. Mom’s don’t make out. It’s a general rule.”

I heard the soft click of an opening door and jumped to my feet. Kyp and the blond security guard stepped into the hallway, talking in hushed voices. I couldn’t make out what they were saying but I didn’t have to. They shook hands and the security guard walked back into the interrogation room.

Could this truly be it, I wondered? Was it finally over?

And as Nikk had said, Kyp had a smug smile on his face. “Really comes in handy being a Jedi Master on the Council.” He said with a wink.

I tackled him with a hug.


	25. Chapter 25

It would have been marvelous if we could have packed our stuff and left at that very moment but of course it wasn’t the case. Not only did space port security want to have a little talk with me but also CSF. Naturally, it took several hours.

Their questions wouldn’t stop.

When did you first see Darvis Vance? When did he first approach you? What were his exact words to you?

They were so damned thorough with their questioning and I didn’t much care for their tone towards me, either. It was like an interrogation. Was I the bad guy here or the man who had had me locked up in a meat locker?

They made me relive every hellish moment he’d put me through. They were extraordinarily interested in every little detail pertaining to my captivity in that small cold room, highly interested as to why he had a lullaby playing all throughout the time he held me against my will. And of course they were all out on intel I couldn’t give them.

How many men does he have working for him?

_How the hell should I know?_

Do you know of any reason why he would do this?

_Besides the obvious? That he’s a lunatic? A maniac? Oh and because he wants to destroy me to get to Master Durron._

At that point the younger of the two officers (he couldn’t have been older than twenty-five, freshly kicked out of the academy, no doubt) stood leaning back against the wall with arms crossed over his scrawny little chest shooting me a smartass smirk, as if quietly letting me know that Master Durron _deserved_ to be punished.

Son of a sith.

Well, kriff that!

I had this sudden, almost painful urge, to get up and wipe that smirk off his face with the chair I was sitting on.

The officer in charge, Lieutenant Ylar, seemed to have never heard of the word _tact_ in his entire long life. I kept staring at his nose. Big and flat as if forcibly smashed onto his face; it just didn’t fit. Or maybe body shaping surgery gone wrong. His face just irritated me. Small beady eyes, big puffy pinkish lips, strangely puckered skin and way too flat nose. Plus, he had white hair growing out of his nostrils.

That fact was just so wrong. So, so wrong.

Didn’t the man own a mirror, for Force’s sake?

Ylar started getting personal. I gripped the table with white knuckles and forced myself to stay seated in the crappy little chair. I tried going to my happy place inside my mind but it didn’t work much because Ylar’s annoying, scratchy voice interfered with the thinking process. 

Did Vance touch you?

_No, but his freaky little friend did. I think Daire might have trouble with the little Daire’s after I knee’d him where it counts. Which is a good thing, really. We don’t more Daire’s running around the planet. Because, you know…there goes the planet._

Ylar didn’t think I was funny. He had no sense of humor.

Did Darvis Vance make any advancement towards you?

_Again, no. Had he even tried, I would have scratched his eyes out and stuffed them into his mouth until he choked on them. And then I would have used his dagger to cut a hole in his chest, rip out his heart and add it to the eyes._

Ha! That got a reaction out of him.

I believe he thought I was criminally insane. Fine by me. I was too frustrated and angry to care. The look on his face made me chuckle and I wondered if he could have me incarcerated just for talking a bunch of crap.

Ylar kept pushing me, though. He kept rephrasing questions to make me feel as if _I_ was the one on some sort of trial. There was no compassion to be had from this cold CSF Lieutenant.

Maybe he thought I would break down and cry like a lot of gals on this end of the questioning but like hell I was going to give him that satisfaction. Sure, answering his questions was difficult but facing off with this bully of a Lieutenant made me remember how strong a person I could be.

He let slip that Vance was a wanted man on two planets, at least. I shouldn’t have been surprised but I was. What the charges were exactly, Ylar wouldn’t say but he did tell me that with my written statement they had enough to incarcerate Vance for quite some time, if not for the rest of his life.

Now how the hell kriffing great was this?

*

I was seething when we finally returned home. I was about ready to slam my fist into a wall and admire the hole. I was annoyed by CSF but even more annoyed that Kyp and I were _home_.

We weren’t supposed to be _home_. We were supposed to be on a ship headed for Deyer, dammit.

I sulked the entire flight back to our apartment. I sat in the passenger seat of the speeder and stared out the window, sulking like a five year old who was denied her favorite toy.

Obviously, we missed our flight and of course there wasn’t another flight scheduled for two days straight. We could hop ships for a week or so until we finally reached Deyer but that wasn’t really what I was going for.

I wanted something _nice_ after everything that had happened.

But no.

Of course not.

I stalked through the front door and kicked off my boots. They hit the corner with a little thump. When I entered the living room after slouching through the hallway, I shrugged out of my jacket and threw it over the armchair in the corner and then I let myself fall onto the sofa and stretched my legs.

I sat there for several minutes staring into space. Kyp was watching me. I could feel his eyes on me and no doubt he was waiting for an explosion with curse words and curses towards security. But I kept it cool. Although, admittedly, I had to breathe in a few hundred times before I thought I was ready to have a decent conversation without envisioning someone’s head on a stick for ruining my vacation.

“Bad luck really has it in for us this time, Kyp.” I said quietly, folding my hands atop my belly. With a dark chuckle, Kyp sat down to my left. Feet propped up on the caf table. He was still wearing his dirty boots.

Slowly, I looked at him with raised brows. Then I looked at his boots with smudged dirt on the soles and went right back to eyeing him again. “I know those aren’t your booted feet on my caf table…”

With an evil sounding groan, he dropped his feet back down to the floor. “Satisfied?”

“No.” I said, going back to being stubbornly sulky. “Not by a long shot. I will be satisfied once we’ve left this nightmare behind.”

He took my hand into his. His palm was coarse, rough. The skin along his knuckles laced with scars from years working in the mines on Kessel. He’d never had them removed, saying they were a part of him, no matter if the memories weren’t good ones. I didn’t mind the scars. I found myself tracing them with the pad of my thumb while we held hands.

“I have this feeling that where ever we turn, no matter which way we go, there’s some idiot waiting in the corner to knock us upside the head.” I wrinkled my nose. “I’m sick of it, Kyp. I am sick of everything. Sick of my job, sick of this planet, sick of being hunted down like a damned animal. I want it to stop.” I sighed, defeated, and rubbed my forehead. “I just want everything to be over with.”

He squeezed my hand before pulling me towards him. I lay my head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat for a moment. He kissed my hair and ran his fingers down my spine. “It _is_ over, sweetheart.”

I sat up slowly and stared at him with a frown. “Is it really?” I asked. “How do we know that there isn’t some other maniac waiting for us? How do we know that Vance was even working alone? What if there are more out there? And just for the record, I really don’t trust the legal system, I’ll have you know. Vance could be out on his feet walking the streets this instant and we wouldn’t even know about it!” I was on a rant. It was near to impossible to shut me up at this stage. “And what about Daire? He’s still out there and he might just take over for Vance. What if he comes back and finishes the job? Dammit, Kyp, this is insane! I can’t go on knowing that –“

He kissed me.

Hard.

Sure as hell made me shut up, that was for sure.

It took a little moment for my brain to process what was going on but when I was finally able to grasp the current situation, I kissed him back. There was urgency in the way he touched me. He pulled me onto his lap until I straddled him, my hands finding their way into his thick hair. He sat up straight and a moan escaped my throat as he nipped at my lower lip with his teeth.

We stared at each other for a moment. I ran my fingers down his stubbly cheek, along his parted lips. He kissed my fingers, lingering and a shudder ran through me when the tip of his tongue touched my skin. He led my hand to his chest and pulled me in for another kiss. Slow and passionate, the kind that made you yearn for more.

But then he stopped. He sat back, smirking at me.

I stared at him, dumbfounded, “Don’t stop.”

Kyp’s lips twisted up into a little grin. “Is that an order, my lady?”

“If you want it to be.”

He ran his thumb along my cheek, along my lower lip while he held me close.

“I love you, Eliziya.” He whispered, his voice so low I had to strain to hear. Oh but that was a good thing because the lower his voice, the more tingles coursed through my body. The hairs on my arm stood on end when he spoke to me in that husky, sexy voice.

“And I love you, my dear Jedi.”

For the next hour or so…we did not leave the living room.


	26. Chapter 26

There’s a white, fluffy carpet in front of the sofa, a snuggly warm place we’d camped out a few times already. Sometimes we just didn’t make it to the bedroom. As was the case now.

Foreheads touching and our breathing slowly returning to normal, I gripped Kyp’s shoulders with both hands, steadying myself. My muscles were weak all over. Lips swollen, my cheeks no doubt flaming red, Kyp smiled at me and gently caressed my face. His hand moved along my neck, down my chest, eventually settled on my hip. He pulled me forward for another kiss. From the corner of my eye, I saw little crescent shapes embedded in his skin from when I had dug my nails into his shoulders.

Our kiss was slow and lazy. Slowly I laid my arms around his neck, playing with his messy hair. Eventually, we lay down together, holding one another in silence. It was so wonderful. Until my brain started functioning again and real life broke our afterglow bubble. With a sigh, I wrapped my leg around Kyp’s and laid my head on his chest. He picked up on my mood change fairly quickly. “What’s on your mind?”

“It’s nothing.” I said with a sigh.

“Liar.”

With a light laugh, I sat up and heaved a sigh. “I’m going to go take a shower. Care to join me?”

He pulled me over his body and kissed me again, softly and slowly while brushing hair out of my face, tucking strands behind my ears. “I need to make a few calls.” He said after a moment.

“Okay.” I winked at him and scrambled to my feet before hitting the fresher.

I took my time in the shower, letting pellets of warm water massage my muscles. I must have been in the shower for at least half an hour before the water started getting colder. I could have stayed underneath the spray for thirty minutes longer, it was so invigorating and plain relaxing. My thoughts were everywhere at once and nowhere at all.

I thought of Kyp and then thought about what Nikk was up to. I wondered about Anja and Seiya. I wondered what we would be having for dinner, if we would go out to eat and maybe catch a movie later on.

Hurriedly, I stepped out of the shower and dried off, slipping into my robe that I always kept in the fresher. I bound my wet hair together in a braid that fell down my back and then shoved my feet into fluffy pink slippers. A gift from my nephew. Even though the things are so not my style, I could never get up the nerve to throw them out.

Kyp was in the kitchen sipping at a cup of strong caf. He’d gotten dressed in a pair of comfortable baggy pants. He held a news tablet in one hand, scanning the contents with a stern expression. No doubt something to do with the Jedi so I didn’t even ask. He only got that look when some journalist ran his mouth with lies.

It seemed like the beginning of a normal day all of a sudden. If I pretended the past few weeks hadn’t happened, it _could_ have been a normal day.

But then the com console in the office went off. Kyp glanced up from the news tablet and was about to set his caf mug on the counter when I shook my head. “I’ll get it.”

I was sort of hoping it was Nikk. When he’d left the space port, he’d said he would let us know when he was leaving for home but so far, he hadn’t commed. I was getting a little worried.

I sat down at the com console and accepted the call by voice identification. I had expected the hologram projector to switch on but instead the flat screen rose up from the center of the console. Of all the people I had expected to see, my mother had not been one of them.

I stared at her image, dumbfounded. She looked the same as always. Cold and heartless dead brown eyes, black hair combed back in a severe bun and as usual, she wore a tight black business suit. Her image made my insides twist in a very uncomfortable way.

My mother never commed me.

_Never_.

The last time I had spoken to her was when the war had ended, several years earlier. She and my father had been marginally safe on Chandrilla during the time. I remember that last conversation all too clearly because five minutes into our discussion, we got loud with one another. Same as always. Seemed some things just didn’t change.

I cleared my throat and tried not to frown. I thought it would be wise to be civil with her. “Um…hi.” I said very slowly, leaning back in my chair and trying a little smile. Didn’t really work. More like a grimace rather than a smile.

“Eliziya.”

Gods, the way she said my name, as if I had did something wrong. Just like when I was still a kid. I found myself gritting my teeth. “Is there a reason you’re calling?” I asked, keeping my voice neutral.

She raised her perfect brows. “Not even a ‘how are you’ this time?”

Nope. Because I didn’t care. I stared at her, waiting expectantly for her to continue. Appearance wise, my mother and I look alike. I was a bit put off by the fact that she hadn’t aged in the time since last I’d seen her. No wrinkles, no lines. Same stoic features.

“What do you want, mother?” I asked evenly.

“To see you.”

Now that just shocked the hell out of me. She had never before asked to see me so I knew something was up. “Why?” I asked, a deep frown on my forehead.

“Trust has always been an issue with you.”

“Not surprising after what you did, don’t you think?”

She took a deep breath but didn’t comment. “I shall be on Coruscant in three weeks time. I thought I would let you know. Perhaps, if you can find it in your heart, you would join me for a cup of tea.”

Wow. She was being pleasant…

I swallowed a retort and frowned. “I suppose I could manage.”

She actually smiled. “I look forward to it. I shall contact you when I arrive.”

“Alright.”

“Take care of yourself, Eliziya.”

She cut the connection, leaving me staring at a black screen with too many questions giving me one hell of a headache.

*

I didn’t mention my mother’s comm call when I went back into the kitchen. Kyp still stood reading through the news tablet and his cup of caf, no doubt now cold, was precariously balanced on the edge of the counter.

I tried keeping my mind blank for the time being, focusing on thinking happy thoughts. Sometimes it worked to keep the negative feelings away but the surprise and utter shock of speaking to my mother after such a long time seeped through my carefully erected emotional shield anyway. Why I even bother…

Kyp looked up. “What is it?”

Does he always have to be so damned attentive?

“You know, I was thinking we could go out to dinner tonight.” I said slowly, forcing a little smile. Kyp laid the news tablet aside and crossed his arms over his chest. It was the stance he always used when waiting for the actual answer to a question. I felt like one of his students, the way he leveled his green eyed gaze on me. “That nice cozy place where you took me for our first date sounds nice, doesn’t it?” I shrugged. “Unless you want to cook, of course.”

And still he waited. He could be the most patient person if he wanted to be. Seldom ever happened but when it did, he wouldn’t budge until he got what he wanted.

I smiled sweetly and turned on my heel, wanting to get dressed in the bedroom. I knew that once I started on the subject _Mother_ I wouldn’t stop and I would most likely start getting emotional. Hadn’t there been enough going on for the past few weeks? Couldn’t I just have peace and quiet for at least a day before life hit me upside the head with another brick like this?

Kyp followed me into the bedroom. I stopped in front of the closet but Kyp stepped in front of me. No way to open the doors when he brought himself up to his full height like that. I scowled at him. “I’d like to get dressed.”

“You are dressed.”

“In a robe.”

“I sure as hell don’t mind.”

There was a smirk playing around his lips and it almost made me smile. “It’s getting cold, you know.”

“You’ll live.”

“Kyp!” I exclaimed, trying to push him out of the way. He stood rooted to the spot and all the while I tried moving him aside (I even slipped once and nearly fell) he laughed at me. I playfully slapped his bare arm when he didn’t voluntarily move. “Will you please move?”

“Nope.”

“You’re being difficult.”

“Sweetheart. I’m always difficult. You should know this by now.”

“Move!” I pushed him more forcefully this time, putting a little more pretend anger into my voice.

“Or what?” He raised a single eyebrow, as if daring me to make some sort of move to get him out of the way. It was rather taunting, honestly.

I narrowed my eyes and hurriedly tried to come up with a plan. There wasn’t really anything I could do to get him out of the way…besides poke him, of course. He wasn’t wearing a shirt and poking him in the ribs always got him.

I poked his hip first. I nearly laughed out loud the way he jumped.

“Don’t do that.” He said quietly, his brows pulled down into a frown while his smirk had suddenly disappeared altogether. Suffice it to say, he hated the poking thing. And the tickling thing, which is why I loved doing it.

“Why?” I poked him again, higher this time, right below the ribs. He jumped aside and I was free to open my closet doors. But getting dressed wasn’t all that interesting anymore. Poking Kyp was.

He jumped out of my way when I went to poke his other side. He hurried around our bed and grabbed a pillow, holding it in front of him like a shield. It was highly amusing seeing a Jedi Master running away from being poked. I grinned at him, “Afraid of a little poking, are you?”

“You really don’t want to do this, Liz. I will defend myself.” His lips lifted into an evil smile.

I stopped for a moment. Defending himself could mean a lot of things. Last time I annoyed him a little too much, he dragged me into the shower, fully clothed and turned on the ice cold spray. And the time before that, while we were having cake, he pretended to feed me a piece but then smashed it into my face instead.

So his defensive ideas were quite…devious most of the time.

I pursed my lips and shrugged it off. “I won’t let you defend yourself. Never underestimate the power of a woman.”

He snorted. “Fine. Your call.”

I circled the bed to his position. He moved out of my way, jumping up on the bed to the other side, like some scared little kid. That’s when an idea struck me. I grabbed the other pillow and held it loosely in one hand. Kyp started to chuckle. “So now you want to pummel me with a pillow?”

“Maybe.” I jumped after him, hitting his chest with the pillow. He couldn’t get out of the way in time but he retaliated pretty well. His pillow caught my shoulder.

Two adults having a pillow fight. Too great for words.

We kept hitting each other, back and forth, back and forth. We laughed and called each other names, laughed some more and I cursed him once for hitting my eye. This is the part where being a girl is a good thing. Because once you pretend to be hurt, the males start with the Are-you-okay routine.

I pressed my palm into my eye and hissed between my teeth. “It stings, Kyp.” I ground out.

He inched onto the bed next to me. “Sorry.” He reached out to take a closer look and that’s when I made my move. The man is ticklish like you wouldn’t believe it. I poked at his ribs, ran my fingers along his chest, anywhere that was bare skin, I poked and pinched and tickled. And he was too busy laughing to get away.

It was the most wonderful sound, the most wonderful sight. His laughter was contagious, especially since you rarely saw him this carefree. Eventually, of course, he got the upper hand. He spun me onto my back, locking my hands above my head while settling his weight atop me. His hair was a complete tangled mess around his head, giving him a sort of wild appearance. “So.” He said after taking a few deep breaths. He was still smiling, though. “You know, I have complete control now.” He said in a dark whisper. He leaned forward and ran his lips along my neck, nipping at my earlobe. “I could take my revenge and tickle you senseless.”

“I’m not ticklish.”

“Liar.” He proved the fact by using one free hand to tickle my ribs.

I squealed and tried laughing at the same time.

“I like that sound.” Kyp purred into my ear. “I want to hear it again.”

He pinched my hip and I couldn’t help the laugh, even though I tried not to. I simply let loose with laughter.


	27. Chapter 27

A while later we lay side by side staring up to the ceiling. Minutes passed by in complete silence but it was lovely. Finally peace and quiet since…well, it seemed like forever.

I held Kyp’s hand and smiled at the way he gently ran his thumb along my knuckles. He had his eyes closed. Seemed to me he was enjoying the quietness just as much as I was. Up until he broke it with a simple question I didn’t want to answer.

“So.” (Just a side note; when people start their sentences with the word _so_ , it can’t be a good thing. It’s a general rule.) “What had you bothered earlier?”

I kept my face as expressionless as I could, still staring at the ceiling. It’s truly a miracle in itself that mommy dearest made that call to me. In all the years that I’ve known Kyp, she’d never called to say hello. Not even on my namingday or during fête week. I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something amiss. Even so, I wasn’t in the mood to discuss it.

But knowing my significant other, he wouldn’t let the matter drop. Too stubborn for his own good, I swear.

I sighed. “My mother called.”

Kyp turned onto his side and propped his head onto his hand. “She did?” He asked, evident surprise coloring his voice.

“Yep.” I said, smacking my lips. “She wants to see me.”

My family has never been a topic of discussion and neither had Kyp’s. We put it behind us, in the past where it belonged.

“Will you meet with her?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I have three weeks to figure it out.”

Kyp lay back down on his back and stretched, groaning like some old guy who had to be at least a hundred years old. I arched my brows at him, soaking in his disheveled appearance. He hadn’t shaved in a day or two, his hair was now a complete mess and only partially still held together by a leather band – he looked scruffy, like your typical scoundrel. And I loved it.

I sat up and before he knew what hit him, I’d scrambled on top of him, straddling his hips while grinning from one ear to the next. “You honestly look as if I put you through the wringer.”

“Well, you did. You kept hitting me with a pillow, remember?”

“Yeah but you won. Because you cheat.”

“I never cheat.”

“And you lie, too.”

He bucked his hips upward and I fell forward, bracing my hands next to his head. My hair fell over my shoulders, tickling his nose. His smile was all but devious. Warm, rough hands wandered along my legs, up to my hips where he held me in place.

“There’s something I really want to do right now.” Kyp said softly, his voice deep and velvety. I shivered but in a good way.

“What’s that?”

His free hand went along my neck and he slowly pulled me down. Our lips met for just a moment, the kiss sweet and chaste, beautiful. My mind started coming up with wonderful images of slowly undressing him and kissing every inch of his toned body. I bit my lower lip in anticipation.

“I want…” He ran his lips along my cheek until he reached my earlobe, nibbling a little, knowing just how much I enjoyed it.

“Yes?” I prompted, forcing myself to stay calm and focused instead of hurriedly ridding him of his pants.

“Cookies.”

I sat up straight and placed my palms on his chest. “Huh?”

“Cookies, sweetheart.” He twisted underneath me and I fell onto the mattress, staring at him as he got up with a grin on his face.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah.” He rubbed his bare belly before he turned on his heel, heading for the kitchen. “I’ve been craving cookies since this morning.”

I lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling again. I couldn’t help the laugh bubbling up, though. Here I was, totally ready for some lovely one-on-one time with Kyp when all he was thinking about were cookies.

Cookies, of all things…

*

I took my time to get dressed. I chose a comfortable long shirt that I only wore at home. There was a print of a yellow dotted bantha cub on the front, perfect for a night out on the sofa with a huge bowl of chocolate ice cream while watching a movie.

I wandered into the living room and switched on the entertainment system on the way to the kitchen. Before I even arrived, I heard Kyp rustling with the cookie bag. That’s when I remembered that Nikk had eaten most of Kyp’s cookies that first night he’d come to babysit me.

And it was evident that Kyp wasn’t happy. He turned the cookie bag around and only a few crumbs fell to the kitchen counter. With the cutest pout ever, he glanced my way. “Did you eat my cookies?”

I shook my head, trying my best not to laugh. “No. Nikk ate them.”

“But I want cookies.” He said with a sigh and in such a whiny voice that I just couldn’t help the laugh.

Kyp tossed the empty cookie bag aside and shuffled his way back to the living room. I followed him to the caf table where he picked up his comlink. He keyed it on, punched in a frequency code and when Nikk’s dark voice echoed over the line, I nearly broke out laughing at the expression on his face.

“Durron! I was just coming to see you.” Nikk said.

“Really?” Kyp asked with narrowed eyes.

It was too funny!

“Yep. Leaving for home tonight. As is, I need to say good-bye to my best friend.”

“You owe me a bag of cookies.”

I couldn’t help it. I sat down on the sofa and I just laughed outright.

“Cookies?”

“Yeah. You ate my cookies.”

There was a moments’ pause in which I knew Nikk was frowning, trying to understand what Kyp was going on about. Then it seemed to click. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I kid you not. You owe me a bag of cookies.”

“I warned you!” I called out.

I heard Nikk’s deep chuckle. “Fine. I’ll bring you a bag of cookies.”

“Two bags, please. Interest for eating my cookies.”

He cut the connection and slowly set his comlink back on the table. With twinkling eyes, I looked at him and smiled. “You’re crazy, love.”

“I’m protective of my cookies. And there’s nothing else to eat in the kitchen.”

“Yes, there is!”

“But no cookies.” He winked at me.

 *

Nikk arrived almost an hour later. During this time, Kyp sat next to me on the sofa, sulking like a little kid. He amazes me sometimes, he really does. No matter what I offered from the kitchen (even though in his opinion we were out of food), he would shake his head and whisper _cookies_.

There was always a twinkling glint in his eyes though, which made me realize that he was just teasing me and fooling around. And honestly, I was grateful for that. The time home made me feel as normal as I possibly could. Not once had I thought about Darvis Vance. Kyp made sure I was preoccupied in the most wonderful ways.

Sulking over cookies…

I opened the door for Nikk after he rang the buzzer about fifteen times. He grinned at me and smashed four cookie bags to my chest when he passed by and slowly walked down the hall. “I think that’s more than enough for the cookie king, don’t you think?”

I laughed and nodded. “Yeah.”

Following Nikk back into the living room, I threw one bag towards Kyp, who caught it with a big smile on his face and then carried the other three bags into the kitchen. When I came back into the living room, Nikk had already made himself comfortable on the armchair in the corner. Long legs stretched out with thick booted feet on the caf table; hands folded atop his belly, head laid back on the headrest.

With an arched brow, I shoved his feet off the table. They hit the ground with a loud thump. “I have this huge knife in the drawer in the kitchen.” I said with a wink. “Haven’t used it on a leg before but I will if I see your feet on my table again.”

Nikk laughed. “See, this is the Liz I remember. I was wondering when you’d be back.”

“Well, I was a little occupied with trying to stay alive and all that.” I sat down next to Kyp on the sofa and lay my head on his shoulder. I snuggled up as closely as I could and sighed, content, when he draped his arm around me. He kissed me forehead, lingering for just a moment.

“Have you heard from Anja?” Nikk asked.

Slowly, I sat up straight and eyed him curiously. “What did you do?”

Nikk pulled his brows into a frown. “Why would you automatically assume that I did something wrong?”

“Call it female intuition.”

Nikk grimaced and closed his eyes. For a moment it seemed like he was utterly exhausted. His shoulders fell as if defeated, a trait that I hadn’t seen in him before.

“What happened?” Kyp asked.

“Nothing happened.” He said with a frown. “I was just hoping to see her before I left.”

Oh, what a blatant lie. Even without the Force anyone would know that Nikk was lying. Something had happened between Anja and Nikk and if Nikk didn’t want to spill the beans, Anja would. So I let the matter drop.

“I’ll tell her you were looking for her.”

“Thanks.” He cleared his throat, his discomfort visible on his face. I was extraordinarily curious what had happened between the two of them so the moment Nikk left, I knew I’d have a lengthy discussion with Anja.

We talked for another hour or so, nothing serious just little things among friends. Nikk and I started an argument over nothing, the same as usual when the two of us were in one room for more than just a few minutes. Kyp sat back and watched the words thrown back and forth. He thought it was amusing up until I got up and wanted to slap Nikk.

Nikk simply smiled that arrogant smile that is so typically Nikk.

“I’m going to miss you guys.” Nikk said after he’d gotten up and slowly walked down the hall to the door. “Try not to get into any sticky situations again.” He wagged his finger in my face. “I won’t be here to save your asses.”

I hugged him firmly and had to chuckle when his arms wrapped around me and he picked me off the ground. “Be safe.” He whispered placing a little kiss on my cheek.

Kyp and Nikk hugged briefly, slapping each other on the backs. “And you keep an eye on her.” He said softly. “As annoying as she can be, the woman’s grown on me.”

“Idiot.” I muttered under my breath.

“Don’t you worry.” Kyp said, grasping my hand. “I won’t let her out of my sight.” He smiled lovingly and quickly kissed the tip of my nose.

Nikk gave a little wave and then he was gone.


	28. Chapter 28

“I need to call Anja.” I said, rubbing my forehead.

“You can call her after we leave.”

I frowned at him. “We’re leaving?”

“Yeah. Remember I said I needed to make a few calls earlier?”

I nodded.

“Lando managed to get us a flight to Deyer.”

I all but squealed before I jumped him.

**

The shuttle that came for us settled atop the private landing field on the roof of our building. Under normal circumstances the pilot would need a permit to even come near the building but I suppose these weren’t normal circumstances and I asked no questions when the ramp descended and Kyp and I hurried aboard.

We both carried two thick bags over our shoulders. Packing for the trip had turned out to be more of a stuffing-clothes-into-the-tiniest-spaces kind of thing. I did make sure to bring the bathing suit, of course. If you’re headed to a water world, you’d best make sure to be prepared, right?

I took a deep breath as I settled down opposite Kyp in the back of the shuttle. I buckled up, sat back, tapped my fingers on my knee, looked out the viewport right into the shadows where Vance had been standing just hours before, watching me.

I forced myself to look away, taking deep breaths to calm my frayed nerves. I couldn’t help but wonder when I’d be able to go out and not have to look over my shoulder. The feeling of permanently being watched stuck to me like glue. I could tell myself over and over again that Vance wasn’t out there anymore, that he was gone forever but still…what if he wasn’t done yet? What if he came back?

If you trust the legal system, you’re a lost cause. He was a decorated officer with the Empire and no one just shuts them away. They might disappear, be sent away in exile or some such but he would be alive, he would still breathe same air. He would still be.

How could I possibly be sure that he wouldn’t be back?

I couldn’t.

And I knew that he didn’t work alone so maybe someday, he’d return and continue to haunt Kyp just because he could.

“I’ll be right back.” Kyp said, leaving me to my thoughts while he went up to the cockpit to greet the pilot.

I decided the best course was to try and forget the past few weeks. Obviously that wasn’t possible in the least, especially because I kept seeing his face when I closed my eyes but I could at least give it a try. For my sake, for Kyp’s, for the sake of wonderful and happy time on Deyer. I wouldn’t let that maniac ruin any more than he already had. Never had I been afraid to go out on my own but now? After everything that bastard had done?

He’d changed me.

And I hated him for that.

When Kyp returned to the seat opposite me, I’d calmed myself enough to know that it would take Kyp a lot of digging to find out what was troubling me. Of course it was obvious but I didn’t let it show.

“It’ll only take a few minutes to get to orbit.” Kyp said, strapping into the harness. “And then we’ll be off to a much needed vacation.”

“So very true.”

*

When the shuttle docked on the ship in orbit, I was expecting a little family thing. I knew that Lando and his wife and their little boy were staying aboard his yacht. What I didn’t know was that the yacht was enormous and Lando had a little get together going on.

I felt like I was crashing a party.

A young boy had taken our bags and had brought them to our cabin. I wondered how many cabins this ship had. We followed an aide down a twisting corridor that even went uphill a bit until we came up to a double set of doors. They parted quietly.

Even if the doors and shrieked and squeaked and yelled bloody murder, no one would have noticed. The occupants of the room were busy…having fun.

It was a gentleman’s club, so to speak because besides me, there were only two other women and one of them was tending bar.

The place was elegantly furnished and at first glance you would never have suspected that you were aboard a ship. The tables were made of a shiny, expensive looking material and each patron with a glass or a mug used a coaster. How odd was that?

The music in the background was light and quiet, the kind of tune that you could close your eyes to and simply let the music sweep you away.

I followed Kyp down three steps towards a vacant seat near the viewport. There were about a dozen beings enjoying their drinks; I recognized a few of them but only from holovids or pictures on the news. A group of them, sitting near the entrance, was very familiar and I couldn’t shake the feeling that these guys were pilots.

A smile appeared on my face the moment that thought crossed my mind. Any girl will tell you that pilots are hot. Why? I have no idea, they just are. It’s a universal rule. And even though these pilots were no longer the youngest folk, they still looked good. My mind started to wander and I imagined what they would look like in uniform. I wondered what Anja would say if she could see them…

Anja.

I sighed. I never got to call her. She was going to rip my head off the moment we got back home.

“I see you made it aboard.”

I looked up into the face of a very cheerful human male. Lando Calrissian beamed at us as he took a seat next to me. I’d only met him once and then only fleetingly at some overly pompous dinner arrangement at the Senate building years ago. He still looked the same though and he still wore those funny little capes.

Lando took my hand and raised it to his lips, dark brown eyes twinkling as he smiled at me. He definitely had a way with women, that much was obvious. “Well, Kyp here is lucky to have found such a beautiful woman as yourself.” He winked at me. “Although I have to ask. What’s he got that I don’t?”

I laughed outright while slowly slipping my hand out of his grasp.

Kyp was smiling but I did detect a little edge in his overall mood.

“He’s a Jedi for one.” I answered with a grin. “I’ll let you in on a little secret.” I lowered my voice. “The Jedi don’t only use the Force for combat.”

A mischievous light appeared in Lando’s eyes when he started to laugh. “Is that so?”  
  
“Oh _yes_.” I stressed the last word and winked at Kyp.   
  
Kyp shook his head with a bit of amusement leaking through to the surface.   
  
“We’ll reach Deyer in a little over a day.” Lando said, all business. “Enjoy the ride while you can.”  
  
He shook Kyp’s hand after getting to his feet. Kyp stood and the two of them traded a few quiet words. Once Lando had left, the bartender took our orders – all on the house, of course – and Kyp and I ended up having a quiet evening together. And the best thing about it?  
  
We sat gazing through the viewport into a sea of stars.

*

There was an adjacent room to the mess hall. As nosy as I am, I needed to take a look. And I’m glad I did because I seemed to standing in a five star restaurant.

It’s truly amazing what you can do with a spaceship when you invest in the right places. There was a buffet to one side of the chamber with an amazing assortment of foodstuff. It smelled delicious. Half a dozen tables stood lined up underneath a transparasteel viewport front, decked out with candles in little glass holders.

Lando was seated all the way in the back with his wife, Tendra. There were a few other guests, people I didn’t know yet some of them looked familiar.

I wandered over to the buffet table. The different types of food were astonishing. There were little signs in front of each cuisine, indicating where the food was from and what it was called.

How could you pass up on thick chocolate pudding? My mouth started watering just by looking at all that chocolate but – and this is where it got severely annoying – my stomach was acting up.

The closer I moved to the buffet table, the more I took in the scent of this delicious food the sicker I started to feel. Within only mere seconds, I’d totally lost my appetite. It was a crying shame!

I wasn’t really hungry, I just wanted some chocolate. And I deserved it! I deserved at least a month worth of chocolate for all the crap I’d had to go through during the past weeks.

Taking a deep breath and cursing my stomach, I walked up to the buffet table, grabbed a small bowl and scooped up a thick glob of chocolate pudding. It wiggled a bit when it touched the bowl and it smelled so sweet and rich and overall perfectly delicious.

I made my way back to our table in the other room, smiling like an idiot. Kyp wasn’t alone anymore, though. There was an older man sitting opposite him and they were talking quietly. It was one of the pilots I’d noticed earlier; dark brown hair, light eyes, little lines in his cheeks that turned to dimples when he smiled.

I sat down, holding my bowl with both hands. As if _someone_ was going to steal my newly found prize, that someone being Kyp. He would make me look somewhere else with the oldest trick in the book. “What’s that?” I would be stupid enough to look and he’d swipe the bowl from right underneath my nose. So this time, I held on to it with dear life.

Kyp thought it was funny. He looked my way and chuckled.

“You must be Liz.” The pilot extended a hand and I took it with a small nod.

“Yep, I’m me.” I said with a smile. “I have no idea who you are, though.”

The man laughed, showing off those amazing dimples. “Wedge.”

The name definitely sounded familiar. “Antilles?” I asked, knowing that he was something of a galactic hero ever since the first Death Star all those years ago. I’d seen him on the net countless times before. He looked different. He looked so…normal.

Of course, he was only human like the rest of us but the media made the normal people seem like Gods when they portrayed them on the net. It was all but refreshing meeting Wedge Antilles and knowing that he was simply a man enjoying a few drinks.

He nodded. “That’s me.”

“Well, Wedge Antilles, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”

*

Kyp and Wedge talked for a while. I wasn’t really paying that much attention. My full attention was directed at my chocolate pudding. Even though I was slightly put off by the fact that it was all wobbly. Who cared? It was chocolate, for Force’s sake!

I took my spoon into my right hand and shaved off just a tiny bit. I lifted it to my mouth and the moment my taste buds registered chocolate, I felt like I was walking on air. It was so wonderful, so relaxing, just so…great.

After the third bite, it wasn’t all that great anymore, though.

I felt really really sick all of a sudden.

Figures, doesn’t it?

*

I had to cut the evening short because I couldn’t stomach my galactically delicious chocolate pudding.

Obviously, I was annoyed and whiny. So while I lay in our cabin on the floor of the fresher, wishing to the deities of the universe that the nausea would pass as soon as humanly possible, Kyp stood in the doorway and laughed at me.

“You look like shavit.” He said.

Too bad there wasn’t anything to throw at him.


	29. Chapter 29

“When will this stop?” I asked in a petulant, whiny tone for at least the fifth time. I’d emptied the contents of my stomach three times already and I wasn’t feeling any better. “You know, this is unfair.” I wiped at my eyes because it seemed my tears were having a field trip because they kept coming and coming and there was nothing I could do about it.

I’d at least managed to crawl from the fresher to the main cabin where I gave up right in front of the bed. I sat leaning against the frame next to Kyp, holding him with an iron grip. I tried not to move because the more I moved the greater the possibility that I had to jump up and run back into the fresher. This was beyond awful.

“If I were a healer, I could help you.” Kyp said quietly.

I lifted my head and narrowed my eyes. “You’re not helping.”

“I know.” A stupid grin all but split his face in half.

“This isn’t funny, Kyp! I feel like crap.”

He laughed at me and kissed the top of my head. “Remember a few months ago on Jaina’s lifeday?”

I grimaced. Oh yeah, I remembered that alright. Kyp had yet again tried to drink Jag under the table, which seems to be impossible. Jag sure as hell knows how to keep his own, that’s for sure. Anyway, that evening it was Kyp who couldn’t move or else he’d throw up. He got stuck in the fresher for almost three hours and I wasn’t much of a help. I actually snapped a few images for memories’ sake. Kyp laying on the floor, pale as a white wall and unmoving. You don’t see that every day. Plus, he kept slurring his words. It was pretty funny at the time.

“So is this payback?”

“Oh yes, my love.”

“You’re evil.”

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

I groaned and let my head fall into his lap. And that’s where I stayed for the rest of the evening.

*

“Eliziya.”

“Hm?”

I was listening to his heart beat when he spoke. My head lay on his chest, my fingers circling his naval. Snuggled together underneath thick warm covers, I was about to fall asleep.

I’d managed to take a long, hot shower and I wasn’t feeling all that bad anymore…

Who am I kidding – I felt like crap.

If I moved an inch, it was like the entire flipping ship was spinning around my head. The moment I moved more than an inch, my stomach did an awful flip flop and a twist and I was back in the fresher. So I didn’t move.

I even tried not to breathe.

A long moment passed in silence. I wondered if I should lift my head and see if Kyp had perhaps fallen asleep but that would have been moving. And moving was not good.

I reached out with the Force instead. He was still wide awake but troubled. Deeply troubled; the kind of worry that gave you stomach aches like mine. Yeah, something was definitely bothering him.

So I did the unthinkable.

I sat up.

Grinding my teeth and feeling like an eighty year old woman, I leaned against the headboard and breathed in deeply. So far so good. No urge to vomit across the damned room…yet.

 “What is it?” I asked softly, touching his bare arm. He stared up to the ceiling, his features absolutely beautiful in the warm blue light that fell through the viewport; the ship was flying through a hyperspace tunnel, creating fantastic looking shadows on the walls around us.

When Kyp Durron can’t find words to express himself, that’s when you need to start worrying. It’s truly an anomaly when he can’t find anything to say. Even if it’s only a snide remark or a guttural sound, if he’s quiet, if the filter between his brain and his mouth is suddenly active, there’s something going on.

Obviously, I was worried.

“Kyp, what’s wrong?”

It took a long moment for him to answer. In the dim light, I watched his chest rise and fall in an even rhythm. I saw how he closed his eyes, opened them again and then breathed in deeply. And then there was a frown on his forehead.

“I’m not sure.” He said, his voice flat, devoid of emotion. All sorts of tingly alarm bells went off all at once. He swallowed a few times before he continued. “I think…” Another slight pause, another deep breath. “I think I’m afraid.”

“Afraid?” I kept my voice low. “Of what?”

This was truly a moment I had never foreseen, not even something I’d ever really thought about. Of course every sentient being has fears they have to deal with but I was used to Kyp being fearless in most cases, a strong fighter who told the universe to kriff off whenever he chose to. Hearing him say that he was afraid was…astonishing.

“Going home.” Kyp sighed and covered his face and rubbed at his eyes with his hands, as if trying to hide from me. “I keep remembering. The last days before the Empire came. The closer we get to home, the more vivid the memories become.” His voice was muffled below his hands.

I reached over and pulled his hands into mine. Force knew, he was about to rub his face off. I squeezed gently. “Why don’t you try remembering what happened before the Empire? The good things.”

 “It doesn’t matter.” I detected a note of helplessness, despair. That fact alone scared the crap out of me. “I can’t get the image out of my head how they gunned down my parents. It always comes back to that one memory.” The last words came out like a tormented whisper. I tried sending him soothing emotions through the Force but he held up a very firm wall, a wall I couldn’t possibly break through. It was like he was trying to hide from me and honestly – it stung.

It stung like a b****.

He had a moment of weakness because he was heading home for the first time in so many years, a happy home that had been violated by the Empire. I completely understood his fears. And I would never look at him differently because of it. And I think that’s where the problem was. Did he truly believe he would seem different in my eyes?

I frowned in the near dark. Gods, how could he think such a thing? After so many years?

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes and decided not to broach the subject. It wouldn’t do much good anyway. Undoubtedly, it would have made everything worse.

“Kyp.” I said softly, hoping he would turn my way but he didn’t. He still stared at the ceiling. “Look at me.”

“Even after all this time, the memory of my family twitching on the floor of our living room makes me want to scream.”

I took his chin between thumb and forefinger and pulled his head around. “Stop this.” My voice was firm. As firm as I could make it without letting my disappointment show.

His eyes twinkled in the blue light. I could see pain and…confusion. “You’re beating yourself up.” I said slowly.

“I wasn’t expecting this.” He said quietly. “I feel trapped.”

He closed his eyes and I searched my brain for something decent to say. But it was difficult now that my stomach thought this was the perfect time to do the twist again.

I took a breath, counted back from ten.

“Tell me about your mother, Kyp. Your first memory.” I said slowly, grabbing a fistful of the sheets and twisting. It was almost painful, which was the point. I concentrated on my nails digging into my palm, rather than have the nausea resurface.

Kyp didn’t answer at first. For a long moment, I thought he wouldn’t answer at all. On a professional level, I understood his hesitation. But on a personal level, after all the crap we’ve been through together…

“My mother was beautiful.” He whispered into the dark, barely audible. “She was…absolutely beautiful. When she smiled, she lit up an entire room. She got along with most people but a lot were wary of her.”

“Why?” I asked quietly.

“They felt she was different. Like me.”

“She could use the Force?”

“Yes. She tried to hide it. But when she realized that I had inherited her gift…she taught me little things. As much as she could. But with the Empire out hunting the Jedi, she didn’t dare teach me more.”

He sighed heavily, sat up and stared out the viewport. His hair was up in a messy ponytail, strands hanging to his shoulders and into his face. His home, his family – it had been a topic avoided. I had asked about his roots countless times and he would shake his head because didn’t want to speak of it. That he was opening up now was something of a revelation.

I closed my eyes as a tingle went through me. I breathed in deeply a few times but it wasn’t working well. The nausea was getting the best of me.

Kyp turned my way, frowning. “You okay?”

“No.” I ground out before I jumped out of bed and ran to the fresher.

I just barely made it.

*

After I washed up I sighed as I placed a cold wash cloth on my neck. Droplets of icy water ran down my shoulder, staining the long shirt I wore. I looked up to my reflection in the mirror, almost grimacing at the person looking back at me.

Pale, tired, exhausted…I didn’t really feel like myself at that moment. I didn’t _look_ like myself. I looked ill.

But was that surprising? Thinking back to the past weeks I was bound to have some sort of breakdown. And it’s pretty common that stress acts out on your stomach functions, right? Although I was still quite sure that I’d just eaten something I shouldn’t have.

Now that things seemed to be calming down, I was certain my body was on a vengeance spree.

I closed my eyes, holding on to the sink with one hand while running the wash cloth along my throat. Dizziness seemed to want to be my new best friend. One wrong move and I’d be sprawled out on the floor. And wouldn’t that just be a lovely image? With the luck I had, I would crack open my skull in the process.

I gripped the sink just a bit tighter.

“There’s a medic on board, you know.”

I looked up into the mirror again. Kyp stood behind me, leaning against the door frame. I sighed and I tried a little smile for him, throwing the wash cloth into the sink while I shook my head. “I’m okay.”

The look he cast my way was dark. It was the look he usually reserved for when his bullcrap monitor went off. He had a low tolerance for avoiding and denying the obvious and then it didn’t matter who he was talking to. I’ve lost count how many times he’s caught me bending the truth a little not only to make me feel better but to get out of the way of lengthy explanations.

“No. You’re not okay.” He took a step closer, placed his hands on my hips. I could feel the warmth on his skin through the thin fabric of my shirt. He closed his eyes and kissed the top of my head, breathing in deeply. I watched his reflection. I wanted to smile but I couldn’t; I was missing the strength to smile. I was missing the will to smile.

Just moments ago he’d shut me out. He’d built up a wall within the bond we’ve shared for so many years and that fact hurt in ways I couldn’t possibly begin to explain. So I wasn’t about to smile.

A part of me wanted to ask him what that was all about but another part wanted to keep the peace, especially since I wasn’t up to the task of arguing. Was he trying to protect himself, I wondered? Did he feel vulnerable because for the first time he had to come face to face with his inner demon?

I understood it was difficult for him coming home to the place where his life had taken a drastic change but by the Force, he wasn’t alone. He was never alone.

But he chose to be.

“Is there something you need?” He whispered, his breath warm against my neck.

I shook my head. “I’m okay.” I looked away, still gripping the sink.

“I wish you’d stop saying that. You’re not okay, Eliziya. Let me call Lando and ask to see the medic.”

“No.” I turned away from him and headed back to bed. Slowly I sat down, still feeling a bit wobbly all over. Blue light from the hyperspace tunnel lit up the quarters we shared; it gave everything a bit of a cold feeling. I didn’t much care for it. I didn’t much care for anything at that moment.

I felt sick, I was lying to Kyp about it because I was too stubborn to admit it, too annoyed and disappointed at him for shutting me out when there was no need to.

“Eliziya –“

“I _don’t_ want to see a medic.” I snapped at him. “It’ll be over tomorrow so you don’t need to worry.”

Kyp came towards me but I got up and headed to our bags on the floor. I didn’t want to be held or touched or kissed in any way. I wanted a little space.

I was being a brat but at the time I thought I had a right to be your typical pissed off girl. It doesn’t happen too often. But when it does, I can be a real pain in the ass.

I ripped open one of our bags and dug through it until I found a long black nightgown. I wanted to get out of the wet shirt; it was getting a little uncomfortable, she skin around my shoulder itching like crazy. Shrugging out of the shirt, I felt Kyp’s eyes on me in the near dark.

When usually I would have made some flippant remark, now I was completely silent, concentrating on slipping the nightgown over my head. The material was cool and soft, satiny. It reached down to the floor, completely covering my feet. In order to walk, I had to pull up a bit of the gown to not fall flat on my face.

I heard Kyp’s soft footsteps as he came up behind me. I waited for the warm touch of his hands but it never came. Slowly turning around, I arched a brow. There was nothing I wanted to say but I had a feeling that Kyp was looking for the right words. It’s pretty amazing – he could yell and snap at any other being in the universe, not caring about consequences but when he spoke to me, he was always careful.

He was always…careful.

And kind and loving. He made me laugh, he made me angry. He made me smile and cry. He made the universe spin just by being at my side.

I sighed and took a step towards him, laying my hands on his bare chest. I looked up into his eyes, almost black in the darkness of our quarters. “There’s no need to shield yourself from me.” My voice was low, almost a whisper.

He didn’t answer.

He pulled me close, laying his arms around my shoulders as he held me tightly. A long moment passed. “I never meant to.” He eventually said. “It’s…um…something I’ve always done when my family was mentioned. It’s more of an immediate reaction. Like blinking your eyes.”

He held me at arms’ length and tucked strands of hair behind my ears. “I would never shut you out on purpose, sweetheart. Never.” He paused for a moment then smiled and touched his forehead to mine. “You’re my rock in all this. And as a rock you can bash my head in so I wouldn’t even think about irritating you.”

I laughed. “You tend to do that a lot, though.”

“Do what?”

“Irritate me.”

“You lie!” He exclaimed with a light laugh. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

He kissed me, long and slow. Agonizingly slow and when I wanted to speed things up, he stopped and smiled. “Feel better already?” He asked with a lift of his brow.

I grimaced.

I wasn’t feeling good at all. Where there had only been nausea before, there were now cramps and I noted how my fingers shook. Sighing, I shook my head. “I’m up for going to see that medic now.”


	30. Chapter 30

The medic was a young alien woman of a species I’d never seen before. She was humanoid and insanely tall with long spindly legs and arms. I noted long, pointy nails and double jointed fingers and her skin reminded me of a midnight blue sky. Her hair was the color of the sun and her eyes…well, the eyes were a bit disturbing. White eyes. No pupils, no color – just white.

“You are ill?” She asked inclining her head.

I swallowed and nodded as I approached the medical bed. She gestured for me to sit down. “I feel a little sick. That’s all.”

She laughed, a feather light sound like wind chimes caught in a breeze. “Do not put it off so easily. I have learned that humans are very…what is the word… _susceptible_ to a multitude of illnesses.”

I raised my brows. She made humans sound weak. I knew it was her professional opinion but I could have done without it. I took a quick look over my shoulder. Kyp stood just a few steps away from me behind the medical bed. He’d dressed in lose fitting clothes and his hair was open, touching his shoulders. Oh, he looked great.

“What’s your name, Doc?” I asked, returning my attention to the medic. Her laugh was like music.

“I am not a Doctor. Just a field medic. I am called –“

And that’s when I tuned out because she started using syllables I couldn’t even begin to pronounce. I blinked at her and she laughed. “Yes. Most species cannot speak our language. You may call me Vin, like the others aboard.”

“Okay, Vin. So what’s wrong with me?”

Vin moved with a dancers’ grace. I was astounded by her beauty. When she spoke her voice was soothing; you could close your eyes and simply relax. But I wasn’t here to relax. I wanted something for the nausea so I could try and get some sleep. Vin grabbed a scanner in her large hand, tapped the screen with her long nails and pointed it at me. It hummed softly, then beeped a few times.

“Hm.” Was all Vin said.

I didn’t like that. Not one bit. You don’t say _Hm_ when your patient’s feeling like crap. It gets all sorts of stupid thoughts running through your mind. _Hm_ is never a good sign.

“Mind elaborating a bit?” I felt Kyp come up behind me. A moment later his hands lay on my shoulders.

Vin smiled, showing a row of extraordinary spiky teeth. It didn’t fit into my overall concept of beauty, to tell the truth. Those teeth were downright frightening. She could have bitten someone’s hand off with those.

“You will be perfectly fine.” Vin said. I used that moment to shoot a glowering look to Kyp. The words _I told you so_ were left unsaid. “I can administer something against the nausea.”

“Yes, please.”

“But you must rest for the next few days.”

I frowned at her. “I thought you said I was fine.”

“Oh, there is nothing wrong. You are as healthy as you can be. But the physical strain on your body will slowly increase. You will need your strength.”

Now she was just confusing the hell out of me. “What in the Force’s name are you talking about?” I whispered. My heart sped up like crazy, a hammer underneath my ribs. The few seconds it took for her to answer felt like an eternity for me.

“You are with child.” She said softly.

*

There are certain events in life that make time either stand still or move forward in slow motion. It’s when your heart suddenly skips a beat or when your breath catches in your throat. It’s when all sense has been left behind, when things that had seemed so important before suddenly mean absolutely _nothing_.

With one single event things are moved into a different light, another perspective. It feels like a shift in your very being, a shift in the universe. Everything has suddenly changed with just one tiny little event. That of an unborn child.

The thing was, it was totally unexpected. Of course, the first thought that shot through my mind was that Vin had to be mistaken.

Throughout our lives together, Kyp and I have had to answer countless questions as to why we haven’t procreated yet. As if it’s some damned unwritten universal rule that you have to start having kids at a certain age. Sure, I’ve always dreamed about having a family. The thought of little smiling and laughing faces with big innocent eyes is just absolutely fantastic. As a young girl I imagined a loving husband, at least two kids and half a planet with one hell of a mansion to call my own. And let’s not forget the amusement park on the property, a chocolate factory and one of those delicious ice cream places. Girls and their dreams, right?

Life is just unpredictable when you’re sharing it with a Jedi. The missions can be short but they can also be extraordinarily long. Sometimes Kyp would be gone for months without a single message. I never knew if he was okay, if he was hurt. Kyp has enemies, which has been proven time and time again over the past years. These enemies are out to hurt him in any way possible. To hurt him, they try to get to me. If we had a child, they would try to get to the child to get to him.

But the main reason why the two of us are still on our own…well, when the medical expert tells you in your face you’ll have trouble conceiving, it sort of ruins that big dream of a happy family.

So it’s simple.

Doc told me I can’t have kids. Period.

I stared at Vin with wide eyes. It’s hard to describe the emotions I tried to conceal. I was confused. I was surprised. I was extraordinarily hopeful. And I was scared ****less.

I cleared my throat, took a few deep breaths. Stared at the carpeted floor, then went back to looking at my hands. I started swinging my legs back and forth as I sat on the bed. I bit my lip, went back to frowning and the deep breaths. Cleared my throat again.

“Are you certain?” That was Kyp’s voice. He sounded far away all of a sudden because all I could really hear was a rushing in my ears.

Kyp came around the medical bed and took the scanning device that Vin held out for him. He was calm as could be, composed as usual. He looked at the readings as he held the scanner. It was almost imperceptible but I saw his fingers tremble.

“I am certain, yes.” Vin answered cheerfully. She showed those rows of spiky white teeth again. “I can tell you exactly how far along you are.”

I pursed my lips and shook my head. All this was happening too fast, for my taste. Just a few weeks earlier I’m at Jag and Jaina’s wedding where a crazy lunatic has his eyes on me. This crazy lunatic then kidnaps me, poisons me and nearly kills me. And after all but giving up on a family of my own, the medic tells me I’m pregnant.

I think it’s understandable that I felt a bit…crowded.

I slid off the medical bed. “I need some air.”

Yeah well, good luck finding that when you’re trapped on kriffing space ship.

I hurried out into the corridor, feeling the need to run away from everything. I hugged myself and stared at my feet as I walked. I had no destination in mind. All I wanted to do was think and…run away.

“Liz, hold up!”

I looked over my shoulder but I kept walking. Kyp caught up with me a moment later and pulled me to a stop.

It’s an odd sensation when everything suddenly feels _unreal_.

“Vin’s readings…” I began, swallowing a lump in my throat. This was so not the time to cry, I told myself. Because there was still the voice of doubt floating through my mind. “They’re correct? There’s no mistake?”

“No mistake.” He whispered. I looked up into his face because his voice held a note of something I’d not heard in a very, very long time. There were tears in his eyes. My Jedi Master had tears in his eyes. And then his entire face broke out into the most beautiful smile I’d seen in years.

And that’s when the dam broke.

I started crying. I started sobbing. I started bawling. Loudly.

My knees were weak and I held on to Kyp to steady myself. He held onto me tightly, arms around my waist. Then he pulled back just a bit and brushed hair from my tear streaked face. “I love you so much.” He whispered in between all that smiling. It was like sunshine had found a way into his heart. He was happy. He was beyond happy.

And me?

I would have loved to say that I was equally as overjoyed. But the thing is, I still couldn’t really grasp the fact that there was life growing inside of me. For years I’d thought it could never happen. And the skeptic in me wanted a second opinion.

“Search your feelings, Liz.” Kyp said, as if he had read my mind. He placed his palm on my belly and closed his eyes. “Feel. Right here.”

I was afraid to. Does that make sense? I’m not sure. But I was afraid to reach into the Force and take a look for myself. What if I got my hopes up and Kyp and Vin were wrong? What if what the medic said to me years ago would forever be true?

“Kyp…” I whispered, slowly regaining a bit of control. But I shook my head, strands of hair getting stuck on my cheeks. “I can’t.”

“You have to.” There was a touch of urgency in his voice. “Close your eyes and feel for yourself.”

The tears wouldn’t stop. And breathing was getting more difficult because of all the crying. It was just too much. Everything was too much.

I felt soothing emotions from Kyp, his unadulterated happiness. It calmed me a little. At least enough to take deep breaths. “Feel for yourself, Liz.”

Oh Gods, what if he was wrong?

What if…

What if…

What if…

I squeezed my eyes closed and pulled the Force towards me. Whatever happened, I would pull through. I always did.

In a way, I expected to feel nothing. Just emptiness because there was still doubt. I took deep breaths and probed further and that’s when I felt it.

Life.

Growing inside of me.

Life that Kyp and I had created.

I snapped my eyes open and stared, dumbstruck and in shock. Words completely failed me; too overwhelming, too big.

Kyp cupped my face in his hands, running his thumbs along my cheeks. He smiled at me, then laughed.

And I laughed with him.

We held on to each other for a very long time, standing in the corridor on a ship out in the middle of nowhere.

But out here in the middle of nowhere a miracle had happened.

It turned out to be one of the happiest places of my life.


	31. Chapter 31

It was about an hour later when I began to realize what was truly happening. Vin had given me something for the cramps and nausea so when we returned to our quarters, I sat down in the small sitting area wishing desperately for a cup of tea. And maybe a bite of chocolate cake since, you know…eating for two and all that.

I had to laugh when that thought crossed my mind. I spent half the night throwing up and still I yearned for sugar. I’m an idiot that way.

I stared out through the viewport, sighing as all I could see was the blue and white tunnel of hyperspace. Stars would have been nice. Stars and a whole lot of black space. Whenever I started getting pensive, trying to count stars eased my mind. There wasn’t anything to count in hyperspace. In fact, staring out into hyperspace for too long supposedly kriffed up your mind. I turned away with a sigh and tilted my head upward towards the ceiling.

I pulled my knees to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs. I heard Kyp doing something in the tiny kitchenette that came with the quarters. Cupboards opening, drawer closing, clinking sounds, water running…

We hadn’t spoken much on the way back from the medical bay. There wasn’t much to be said. We’d held each other tightly, as if by letting go this little miracle would burst like a bubble.

I wasn’t keen on hearing that popping sound.

This whole thing was so big, so huge, so absolutely unbelievable.

So miraculous.

A baby…even the word sounded foreign to me. I had never associated a child with myself. It was always the others. _They_ were having kids, _they’re_ kids were growing up, _they_ were having another baby. Always _they_. Never us.

“Here.”

I glanced up and smiled as Kyp came around the sofa holding a warm cup of tea in his hands. “You read my mind.” I said. “You don’t happen to have a piece of chocolate cake hidden somewhere, do you?”

Kyp laughed lightly as he sat down beside me. He kissed my cheek, then ran his hand through my hair. “Sorry. Can’t help you there.”

I smiled. “Thank you for the tea.” I leaned into him and breathed in deeply, the spicy scent of herbs tickling my nose.

“I can hardly believe it.” I whispered a while later. “I’d given up on the thought of having a child.” I took a sip of the tea and enjoyed the feel of the warmth running down my throat. I set the cup on the table and snuggled closer to Kyp. “How’s it feel now that you know you’re going to be a Dad?”

He laughed and it was the most wonderful sound, filled with such happiness and pride. “I’m going to have to get used to the word Dad.”

“Tell me about it. Mom…just wow.”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Kyp lifted my chin with a finger and then he kissed me, slow and long. He poured his feelings into this kiss, the love he felt, the happiness he could barely contain. He laid his hand on my belly and I placed my hands atop his.

We broke the kiss a long while later and I couldn’t help the stupid grin on my face. “That was lovely.” I laughed. “ _Dad_.”

His smile lit up the entire room.

We sat together in silence for a long time. I drank up my tea while Kyp kept his hand tightly on my belly. I had the feeling that already his protective instincts were on overdrive. I leaned forward and put the cup on the table. Almost reluctantly he let me go. I chuckled at him and slowly got to my feet. All the while I felt his eyes on me.

Mom. Dad. Parents.

Jedi Master. Counselor.

Gods, what kind of life would this child have? Would the baby have dark hair? Dark eyes? Would it have my nose or Kyp’s? My ears or his?

I turned as I heard Kyp get up off the sofa. I raised my brows when he took my hand into his and raised it to his lips. And then he went down on his knees.

He kissed my stomach through the thin fabric of my nightgown. Tears clouded my vision as I ran my fingers through his thick hair. I felt like he was honoring me somehow because I was carrying his child, treating me like the most precious person alive. I could feel through our bond the chaotic jumble of feelings he was dealing with. But they were happy feelings, the kind of emotions to plaster an eternal grin on your face.

“You’ve truly made me the happiest man in the universe, Eliziya.” He whispered softly, trailing light kisses through my nightgown, along my hips and around my naval.

I felt extraordinarily awkward with him kneeling in front of me. I was still me and not some Goddess. I lowered myself to the floor and cupped his face in my hands. “I love you, Kyp. So, so much.” I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I was happy, I was beyond happy. But still, there was something on my mind.

“I don’t want anyone to know yet.” I said softly “Not Nikk, not Han, not Jag or Jaina. No one. At least not until we’re sure that Vance and his people aren’t a threat anymore.”

He nodded. “Great minds think alike, my love.” He kissed the tip of my nose. “We’ll keep this to ourselves as long as we can. And I swear to you, when we return to Coruscant I will personally see to it that Vance and his people are dealt with accordingly.”

I believed every word he said. And I sure as hell didn’t miss the threatening tone in his voice.

I knew he meant it and I knew he would keep his word. He wouldn’t care about the consequences, which could be a little problem in the long run. He would simply do what it took to keep me safe, to keep his child safe.

“I hope the baby has my ears.” I said with a smile. “Yours are so big.”

Laughing, he gathered me onto his lap.

**

Kyp fell asleep a while later. I listened to his soft breathing while I stared into the dark of the cabin. My thoughts were all over the place; the past, the present and the future. I tried my best to ignore the past. Memories of way back then aren’t the best kind of memories I wanted to deal with. The present was just a jumble of confusion.

Yet I smiled. Because I was going to be a mother. Would I be a good mother, I wondered? Could I give this child all it deserved and so much more? Could I give this child what my mother couldn’t give me?

I sighed and turned onto my side, watching Kyp sleep. He’d pulled the covers up, covering half his face. All I could really see was his mop of dark hair sticking out from underneath. Smiling, I reached forward and caught a thick strand, twisting it around my finger.

He hadn’t been sleeping long, maybe an hour or so. But I was bored. So he needed to wake up.

I poked his arm, once, twice but he didn’t react much. Just a grunt in his sleep, a deep breath and he pulled the covers even higher. So I went and poked him again, a little harder. He turned onto his back, still sleeping.

I guess poking wasn’t going to get me far. When Kyp slept, he slept like a rock. Water worked miracles though but I wasn’t in the mood for him to hunt me down through the entire cabin. Which he would undoubtedly do to get back at me. I thought about waking him with loud music too but last time that hadn’t worked, either. No poking, no water, no loud music…

A kiss then.

I crawled onto his lean body as slowly as I could, smiling to myself when he mumbled something in his sleep. His arms lay at his sides, hands beside his head. I realized I could tickle him. But then again…his revenge would be awful. I knew it. I remembered again the shower thing he did – he’d grabbed me, thrown me over his shoulder and stuck me under the shower, fully clothed. And the water was _cold_. He’d enjoyed it, of course.

Me – not so much.

I leaned down slowly, listening how he breathed softly. There was a light growth of beard covering his jaw, just the way I liked it. With his hair all over the place, he looked absolutely edible. With that thought in mind, I nearly started to laugh when I leaned forward and placed a lingering kiss on his cheek. He didn’t move, he didn’t even grunt. I kissed the tip of his nose, his forehead, the other cheek and then his lips. Still, no reaction.

Maybe I was being too soft, I thought, cupping his face with my hands going for his lips again. For a moment there, I thought the man would never wake up but then he groaned and it was the loveliest – no wait…it was the sexiest sound I’d heard in quite some time because it was laced with surprise. I doubt he’d been expecting a wake-up call like this.

He pulled me down closer, my chest flush against his, as he kissed me in return. How much time passed, I have no idea. But I didn’t care either because I got what I wanted.

Kyp was now wide awake.

“That was…great.” He said with a sly grin, running his fingers along my spine. “I wouldn’t mind if you did that more often.”

“I bet you wouldn’t.”

He tucked strands of my hair behind my ear, then touched my lower lip with his fingers. “Still, I have to ask. Is there a reason why I’m awake?”

“Of course.” I said cheerfully, sitting up while straddling him. “I’m bored.”

He raised his brows. “So I have to suffer because you’re bored?”

I mulled that over for a moment. Inwardly I laughed. “Yeah. I guess so. Now that you’re up, you can entertain me.”

He arched a single eyebrow and then he smirked. “Okay.” He said, straining the word a bit. “You want me to wear a top hat and a clown suit or something? With a red nose maybe? Or should I start singing and dancing for you?”

I laughed at him. “I don’t like clowns. Clowns are creepy.”

“I wouldn’t be creepy. I’d be funny.”

“You’d look ridiculous.”

He pinched my hip and I squeaked like a baby. “Stop that.” I said, swiping his hand away. “Anyway, the singing and dancing wouldn’t work either. Because you can’t sing worth crap and I’ve seen you dance. Uncontrolled hectic movements do not fall into the category of dancing.”

“I just love it when you’re so nice to me.”

“Hush, you.” I leaned forward and captured his lips with mine. “I love you.” I whispered, closing my eyes.

“And I love you. Which still doesn’t excuse the fact that you woke me without a decent reason.”

“I was bored! I said so already.”

“That’s not a decent reason.” He pinched my hip again and I couldn’t help the half squeal, half laugh. “Now, either you give me a good reason or I’ll tickle you until you’re too exhausted to think.”

“You know what…” I said, sliding my hands down his torso towards his ribs. My fingers attacked him and he laughed, while he suddenly sat up and tackled me. The tickling eventually ended in kissing and touching and a whole lot of heavy breathing and groans. Whoever had been sleeping in the cabin beside ours was now definitely awake. 

We lay cuddled under the thick covers. I circled my fingers around his naval, staring into the dark, my mind a total blank. I was suddenly very tired and I was slowly losing the fight with my eyes.

“Oh hell no you don’t.” Kyp said loudly. I ripped my eyes open and lifted my head.

“What?”

“You woke me and now you’re about to fall asleep?”

“I’m tired.”

“I’m not.”

I laughed quietly and lay my head back on his chest.

**

The next day, after I tried a bit of breakfast and realized it was a stupid idea, Kyp and I met with Lando in the hangar bay. He had his little boy with him. Chance was a spitting image of Lando, same mischievous smile, same curly hair and the same twinkly light in his eyes that let about everyone know that he was up to no good.

Like father, like son.

Kyp carried a duffle bag over one shoulder while I hung back, taking a closer look at our surroundings. There wasn’t much to see. It was a huge hangar with two shuttles, one of them reserved for us. And we had our own personal pilot. How nice was that?

Chance hid behind his fathers’ leg, gripping Lando’s pants with small hands. Goodness, he was cute. When he smiled two deep dimples appeared in each of his cheeks and all of a sudden I felt like a grandmother ready to pinch him in the face.

“Thanks for this, Lando.” Kyp said, gripping Lando’s extended hand. I didn’t pay much attention to their conversation because I swear little Chance was flirting with me. Seriously like father, like son.

“You’re going to have to keep an eye on this one.” I said, winking at the boy after Lando and Kyp had finished their little talk. “He’s already a charmer.”

“He gets that from me, of course. I’m the best teacher there is in when it comes to charming the women.”

I snorted and stepped up to Lando, shaking his head in a warm gesture of thanks. “It was nice of you to give us a ride. Thanks.” I gave him a quick hug, ignored Kyp’s slight scowl and then knelt down in front of Chance. “It was nice meeting you, little man.” I whispered, holding my hand forward. It took a moment but then Chance did what the grown-ups had done – he shook my hand.

For a moment, I imagined what life would be like when our child was Chance’s age. I had the feeling that with Kyp and my genes mixed into a little boy, we’d have quite the challenge on our hands. In a way, I was already looking forward to it but then again…

About twenty minutes later, we were strapped aboard the shuttle and heading for the blackness of space. The space craft was a fancy thing with leather seats that smelled new, there was a little conservator unit tucked in a corner and I had to wonder if you had to pay to grab a bottle to drink. The controls seemed to be state of the art but…yeah, definitely not my area of expertise. The pilot was a young girl, maybe in her early twenties. She was insanely tall and skinny with shiny straight blond hair braided down her back. She wasn’t much of a talker up until Kyp commented on some technical detail. Then she wouldn’t shut up.

So I sat back, folded my hands on my stomach and closed my eyes. I stretched out with the Force, taking deep controlled breaths. I was nervous. On the one hand I wanted to feel the tiny little life but on the other hand it still scared the hell out of me. What if I disturbed it somehow while it sat nestled in warmth and darkness?

Like a bubble, the Force expanded outward. It took only a handful of seconds before I felt the beating of the baby’s heart. A steady rhythm, like the most beautiful music I had ever heard.

While Kyp and the female pilot – her name was Jinessa – talked, I started thinking about names. Maybe it was a little too early…okay, it was way too early to be thinking about names but come on, what’s a girl to do when she finds out she’s having a kid? And you really don’t want your child having to walk through life with a really, really stupid sounding name, right? So better to start early.

But then my mind wandered back home, to our apartment and to the future baby’s room. The general public seems to think girls need pink stuff and boys need blue stuff…well, pfft. But I caught myself imagining pink walls and a lot of flowery stuff in a girls’ room…

Smiling to myself, I rubbed my brow.

One step at a time. One step at a time.

“You okay?”

I looked up into Kyp’s worried face. I smiled and gave him a nod. “Perfectly fine.”

“Sure?”

Pursing my lips, I narrowed my eyes. Like hell would I let him constantly check if everything was okay. I’m a born klutz and sometimes I trip over my feet and just imagining Kyp at my side and almost having a heart attack because his pregnant girlfriend nearly fell…ugh.

“Stop that, please.” I said.

Genuine confusion lit up his features. “Stop what?”

“I’m okay. No need to worry.”

“You’re not bored or anything? Because I could fall asleep and then you could wake me. Just saying…”

If I’d had something soft to throw at him, I would have. Instead, I laughed and leaned back into the formfitting chair while Jinessa piloted the shuttle to a beautiful blue planet below.


	32. Chapter 32

I was expecting a space port of the likes Coruscant had to offer but that sure as heck wasn’t the case. It wasn’t even so much a port rather than a huge landing area outside of the residential dome. Jinessa set the shuttle down and a few minutes later we walked down the ramp into a warm and absolute fantastic weather.

I tilted my head upward towards a bright blue sky with puffs of white clouds sailing by. I could smell salt in the air and the breeze was amazing.

“I take it you’ve covered transportation for you way back?” Jinessa asked, clasping her hands behind her back.

Stars, the woman was tall! She might even have given Nikk a run for his money. I tried not to frown at her obvious beauty. Sometimes life just wasn’t fair…

“All taken care of.” Kyp answered, shaking her hand. Jinessa left a few minutes later, the shuttles repulsors whining as it lifted into the air.

I turned towards Kyp and extended a hand. “Ready to go?”

He gave me a curt nod.

The space port aka landing area for the general public was rather devoid of life. Just a few dozen people went about their business and most of them wore the same dark blue jumpsuits. They worked at the port.

We entered a small flat building that held a tiny waiting area, a recreational room for guests whose flights were delayed and then there was a customs line – or so I thought. Back home the space port would have been bursting with beings and the line at customs…it was horrifying enough just thinking about it. But here the line consisted out of three humans, dressed in dark blue suits. They, too, worked here.

“You don’t get many visitors here, huh?” I asked quietly, shooting Kyp a sidelong glance.

“Not so much.”

We showed our identification, stated our purpose on the planet and how long we expected to stay. They scanned our luggage and let us pass with a kind smile and a well meant enjoy your stay.

I’d never been through customs so quickly before. Normally, they would dig through everything you had on you, including your pockets if they had to. I pursed my lips as a thought ran through my mind. “Where’s your lightsaber?”

“In the duffle.”

“How come she didn’t mention it?”

“Because she didn’t see it.” He grabbed my hand and winked at me. What a manipulative person Kyp could be sometimes…

*

The main city lay underneath an enormous dome right out on the sea. There seemed to be ventilation shafts that led outward because I could still smell and taste salt all around us and the sound of waves crashing against the dome was amazing. A pedwalk led to busy street where people ignored us as they went about their daily lives. I saw a few shops amongst living quarters, some selling spices others selling clothes while others sold foodstuffs.

What surprised me was the lack of technology. There were hardly any droids around and the little buildings…well, they seemed to be made out of stone. It was truly a beautiful sight and also refreshing, knowing that there were still people in the galaxy who could lead life without relying on technology as much.

“Everything’s changed.” Kyp said softly, while he took my hand and led the way down a twisting flight of stairs. We ended up crossing a bridge and I stopped to look down at a winding silver river. “Where are we going?” I asked a while later, closing my eyes and reveling in the feel of cold wind biting at my skin.

“There should be a guest house down this way.” Kyp pointed towards a paved walkway. I noted how a few of the natives shot us scrutinizing glances, no doubt wondering who we were and what we were doing here. Didn’t seem like they were used to tourists. They weren’t rude about it, though. Nothing like you would expect from back home. Some nodded a greeting, others smiled and a little girl actually waved as we passed her.

I felt comfortable here. I liked it here.

But seeing Kyp frown like he was deep in thought…I don’t think Kyp liked it. He wouldn’t talk to me though, while he looked at every little detail, memorizing as much as he could. Did he recognize a street? Or a sign? Or a building? Was he remembering his life before Kessel?

I wanted to ask him but before I knew it we were at the entrance of the guest house.

It was a quaint building, tucked in between two shops. I liked the way the door opened on hinges – it was like stepping back in time. The scent inside was marvelous. My stomach grumbled and I realized I was hungry and yet…ack! Could I stomach any kind of food?

But I _was_ hungry. Mouthwatering kind of hungry. So the first thing I did when we entered was look for the food source…

An elderly woman approached us with a beaming smile. It was the kind of smile that was impossible to return. The skin around her eyes crinkled as she came closer. Her hair was the color of snow and her eyes reminded me of a beautiful green forest. She was short, wearing working clothes and a spotted apron around her hips. The woman wiped her hands on her pants before she cleared her throat.

“We have guests! I can hardly believe it.” Her laugh was remarkable. She was an instantly likable person.

When I looked up to meet Kyp’s gaze, it seemed that he thought differently though. His eyes were narrowed as he stared at the woman. It wasn’t a hostile look in his eyes but there was something else, something else that didn’t necessarily belong into the situation.

“What is it?” I hissed between my teeth, still smiling.

Kyp ignored me. Of course.

He inclined his head to the side, still staring at the cheery old woman. “I _know_ you.”

*

I looked from the old woman to Kyp and back again, keeping my obvious fake smile in place. My cheeks burned from the exertion. Several awkward seconds passed in which she was as kind as you can possibly be while being stared at by a guy who seemed to have lost his sense of speech somewhere along the way from the space port to the guest house.

“Um…would you excuse us for a moment?” I said sweetly, gripping Kyp’s upper arm tightly and tugging him back towards the door. The old woman nodded once, her smile still warm and kind.

Outside, I noted the lively noise of an active village. Everyone did what they had to do, mostly ignoring the newbies who now stood in front of the guest house, seemingly forlorn and lost.

And miffed.

I sighed.

It’s always fun to surprise the hell out of Kyp and even more rewarding when the situation isn’t even all that funny. So I quickly reached out and pinched his nipple, twisted to the left. He hissed at me, one hand swapping my fingers away while he rubbed his chest. “What was that for?” I tried not to laugh at the squeal that suddenly found its way out of his mouth.

“For scaring the poor old woman. What’s wrong with you?”

Grimacing, he kept rubbing at his manhandled nipple. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from laughing. “I know her, Liz. I swear I do.”

“And that’s reason enough to look at her as if you’re about to take her head off?”

“I wasn’t –“

“Yes, you were.”

“I was not –“

“Yes. You. Were.”

“Would you let me finish?”

“Will you be nice now? Or do I have to twist the other nipple next? I’ll use my nails. Don’t think that I won’t.”

He almost smiled. Not quite but almost. I could see the sides of his lips lift into an itty bitty smile but he killed it almost instantly. He went back to being brooding Jedi Master Kyp. I rolled my eyes and heaved a sigh. “Will you at least _try_ to be nice?” I asked.

“I don’t know what you’re getting so worked up about.”

“You nearly killed her with that icy look.”

“I’ll put on a fake smile until my cheeks pop into tiny pieces. Satisfied?”

“Just –“ I tugged at his arm. “Come on. Be nice. Remember…pinching…nails…I’m giving you fair warning here.”

“You’re a devious woman, Eliziya.” He clutched his pecs with both hands when we re-entered the guest house.

I sighed, shaking my head. “And just for the record, you squeal like a girl.”

 

*

  
The old woman turned towards us when we re-entered the guesthouse. I looked up into Kyp’s face and was only mildly satisfied. I should give him points for at least trying to be nice and polite.

Seriously, he really did try.

But that supposed smile that graced his handsome face looked more like a pained contorted grimace though. I elbowed him in the ribs sharply and sent an image of nails twisting nipples through the Force. It caught his attention, of course but he dropped the pretend smile and went right back to his infamous brooding look that scared the hell out younglings at the Academy.

Lost cause.

“Sorry about that.” I said to the elderly woman. “We’re looking for a place to stay for a few days.”

“Well, you’ve come to the right house.” She laughed cheerfully, her entire persona exuding happiness. “We don’t get many visitors in this region of space. Usually only family members from outlying worlds visiting the colony. Are you…visiting family?” She asked slowly, tentatively probing for information. I couldn’t blame her, of course. If I lived on a small colony world such as Deyer, I would be wary of new arrivals as well.

“What’s your name?” Kyp suddenly blurted.

I would have been beyond wary if I were the keeper of the guesthouse.

Kyp’s expression impassive and pretend calm. I felt through the Force that he was confused and even a little nervous. Still, I stared at him, open mouthed.

I mean, come on – how rude could you possibly get? I was getting increasingly annoyed with him.

“Kyp, I swear. If our room has a sofa, it’s got your name written all over it if you keep this up.”

The old lady laughed, a wonderful sound that brought along a whole lot of warmth. “It’s quite alright, dear.”

“It’s not alright.” I glared at Kyp, brows pulled down into a frown. What in the world had gotten into the man?

The woman stepped up to him and stopped only a few inches away. She was shorter than Kyp, about my height and she had to raise her head to take a good look at his face. Her eyes were a lovely green that clashed with the shock of white hair braided down her back. She looked at Kyp the way she might watch a spoiled little kid, which I thought was pretty amusing because…yeah, attitude wise he was a spoiled little kid. “I am called Soraya. I’ve lived on Deyer all my life. And there is no need to fear me if that is what is bothering you.”

A single brow shot up on his forehead. “Pardon?”

“Can’t take a jibe at your masculinity?” I asked with a grin. “Lighten up. We’re here on vacation, remember?”

Soraya, still smiling like you wouldn’t believe it, handed us two separate keycards and pointed to a flight of stairs to the left of the receptionist desk. “Second floor, third room to your left. If you’re hungry –“

“Starved!” I blurted.

Soraya laughed. “We’ll be having dinner in about an hour. You’re very welcome to join us.”


	33. Chapter 33

When the door clicked shut behind us, Kyp dropped the duffle bag to the floor. I took a moment to survey the room. It was small but comfortable. There was a bed in one corner of the room right underneath a wide window. The view was great; we could look over half the city. A closet stood on the other side of the room, including a little dresser. No entertainment system – and this I considered a blessing.

Oh, and look at that…a little sofa.

“Want to tell me what’s going on?” I asked Kyp as he let himself fall onto the bed.

“There’s something about that woman…I know her. But I can’t remember where I’ve seen her before.”

“And it’s bothering you?”

“Yes. Because I sense it’s important.” He lay back and heaved a sigh, staring at the ceiling.

I took a seat beside him and took his hand in mine.

So here we were. Kyp’s homeworld. The planet where he’d been born. “How are you doing with this?” I asked, running my fingers across his knuckles. He sighed, relaxing tired muscles while squeezing my hand.

“I’m okay.”

Which was a flat out lie but I let it be. He wasn’t okay. He was tense and wired. I could only hope that eventually he’d relax a bit. “Are things still the same way you remember?”

He hesitated before he answered. “Of course not. The Empire destroyed the entire city. The colonists rebuilt everything.”

“We could take a walk later on. You could take a better look. If you want.”

He squeezed my hand and nodded. “I’d like that very much.”

*

The dining chamber was huge, the largest room in the entire guesthouse I’d been told. The table was set with plates, cups and silverware and the scent going through the guesthouse was mouth watering. And I was hungry. I was really really hungry.

Soraya and half a dozen other people were already sitting at the long oval table as Kyp and I arrived. They talked quietly in hushed tones and barely took notice of us as we sat down in reserved seats. I had to wonder if Soraya had done it on purpose – she sat right opposite Kyp and throughout dinner, they kept shooting each other looks. Maybe they thought the other wouldn’t notice. It was kind of cute. Reminded me of children.

There was an outdated serving droid that brought out plates decked out with…uh…interesting looking food.

Interesting can be good but sometimes, interesting can be bad too.

*

When Kyp and I had first met, I’d been assaulted by very real dreams. At least they were real to me. Kyp kept calling them visions but I refused to see it that way. I’d had trouble dealing with the fact that I was Force sensitive in the first place. I was used to normality and a somewhat easy life (this is the part where I snort at myself…easy? Yeah right) but once you realize you can get in touch with this all life encompassing energy, things start to change.

In one of those so-called dreams, I’d seen Deyer; how the thick waves splashed against rocks around the beach, how the sun shone down reflecting off turquoise water. The light broke and scattered in rainbow colors as it touched the dome surrounding the city.

I saw the exact same thing now as Kyp and I sat on the beach. I leaned back when he wrapped his arms around me, snuggling into his warm embrace as he kissed the top of my head. His hands settled on my belly and I felt how he drew on the Force to reach to the tiny being bundled up in warmth within my womb.

I smiled to myself, closing my eyes while listening to waves crash against the rocks around us.

All this felt wonderful. It felt perfect, as if everything that had happened up to this point had been meant to be.

Kyp’s kisses wandered along me neck to my cheek before he held me closely and touched his head to mine. “I’m glad we came here.” He said quietly, taking my hand into his. “I’m glad I didn’t come alone.”

“It’s not awkward for you?” I asked slowly, raising his hand to my lips and kissing his knuckles. “It’s your home but –“

“Everything’s changed?”

“Yes.”

I felt him shrug. “It still feels like home. The smell of the water and the sand is still the same. I can close my eyes and remember being a boy.”

“Did you come out to the beach a lot?”

“Every day.” He kissed my hair and brushed strands of it away from my shoulder. “Every day, sweetheart.”

I sensed that there was more he was willing to say so I pressed on. “What did you like to do as a boy?”

He pulled me closer to his chest. Strands of his hair tickled my face when a cool breeze came towards us, bringing along the scent of salt from the ocean.

“My Dad would take us fishing. There’s a quiet area not too far from here. Zeth and I would fool around and scare the fish. At first it would annoy my Dad but I guess he figured out that it was something that kept us together, with fish or without. It was fun.” He smiled when he said this. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Maybe…” I paused and closed my eyes, smiling to myself. “Maybe you could do something similar with our. Like a family tradition.”

He hugged me tighter. “Sounds like a plan to me.”

*

The next hour or so we spent in silence, watching as the golden sun disappeared behind the horizon. The warm breeze said farewell and was replaced by a cool wind that swept sand into the air. When the sky darkened and the first stars twinkled in the evening sky, Kyp helped me up and gestured to a little cave entrance about half a kilometer away.

“I want to show you something.”

I arched my brows. “In a cave?”

Kyp laughed and tugged at my hand. “Come on.”

Carrying my shoes in one hand, I tried not to fall walking through thick sand that covered my feet. It was warm against my skin, coarse and rough but not uncomfortable.

We approached the cave entrance a while later. It looked like a gaping mouth to me, dark and eerie with jagged rocks protruding like giant teeth. Not even grains of sand had made it over the threshold into the dark, gloomy insides of this cave.

“What is this place?” I asked quietly, gripping Kyp’s hand.

“Can’t you feel it?” He smiled down at me, a smile so innocent that I suddenly felt my stomach do a twist. It hadn’t done that in a long time. I realized that the time we had together on Deyer was special. I knew, somehow, that whatever happened here was going to be important. “It’s warm down there.”

“Warm?” I asked with a little frown. “It looks cold to me.”

Laughing lightly, Kyp rolled his eyes. “Reach out with the Force, dummy.”

I couldn’t help but laugh. He called me a dummy. Now how cute is that?

“Fine.” I huffed and closed my eyes. I felt all sorts of life surrounding us. Creatures in the sea, animals soaring through the air and even tiny little insects scuttling about within the sand; I felt Kyp beside me, his life presence a blazing white hot force, I felt the unborn child growing within me and I felt something else just inside the cave. It was warm, alright, a lovely warm life – no, more than one.

“What’s down there?”

Kyp’s smile grew into a mischievous boyish little grin. “Let’s take a look.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, gripping my shoes in one hand while tugging Kyp back when he went for the cave’s mouth. “It’s pretty dark down there.”

Kyp cocked his head to the side. The breeze played with strands of hair framing his handsome face. Green eyes looked black in the darkness surrounding us. “Do you trust me, Eliziya?”

“With my life.” I said in one go, not even having to think about my answer.

Not even for a second.

“Then come on.”

Sighing, I slipped my shoes back on, took Kyp’s hand and followed him into the cave. Several steps into the dark, I noted how the walls around us started to glow. It was a feint green illumination at first but gradually, the deeper we walked, the lighter it became. The green turned yellow until it was a bright white light that took my breath away.

“What is this?” I asked, completely awed.

“Tiny little lichen.” Kyp answered. “They send out warmth when they feel someone approaching it. The warmth turns into light.”

“These are the lifeforms we felt?”

Kyp nodded. “Yes. Come on. This way.”

I kept close to Kyp, watching my footsteps. There were a few loose pebbles and stones. I didn’t want to fall.

“Where are we going?”

Kyp chuckled. “We’re almost there.”

Several minutes later, we approached a pond. It was small but all the more beautiful. There was lichen underwater and the closer we got, the grander they shone. It looked like we were looking down a tunnel of bright white light. It was absolutely breathtaking.

“Look here.”

I turned my head and watched as Kyp ducked underneath a ledge. I quickly followed him, not feeling all that secure when he was too far away for me to even see.

Kyp pointed up to the wall and I frowned as I saw…

“Are those honeycombs?”

“Yep.”

“In a cave?”

“Delicacy on Deyer. The caves are spread out all over the planet. I used to explore them on my own as a boy. And I loved the honey.”

He reached up to a honeycomb and gently took it off the wall. “No bees?” I asked.

He laughed again. “No bees. Spiders.”

“Spider honey?” I took an involuntary step back.

“They’re tiny, Liz. And harmless. Come here.” He reached out for my hand. I came closer and crouched down beside him.

He squeezed the honey out of the honeycomb, coating his fingers with it. “Taste.”

Even though the idea of spiders making honey rubbed me the wrong way on all sorts of levels, I suckled white honey off the tip of Kyp’s finger. I was absolutely astounded at the rich and sweet taste.

“This is amazing.”

“I know.”

“Too bad we didn’t bring a bowl or something.”

He laughed. “We won’t need a bowl.” He lifted his honey coated finger and ran it along my lip.

Kyp kissed me then, suckling the sweet taste of honey and moaning in the back of his throat. I pushed him back and lifted his hand to my mouth, teasingly nibbling at his fingers. I felt his eyes on me, watching how my tongue swept away most of the honey coating his skin.

He grabbed me into his arms, making sure to keep his hands from touching my hair. I have no idea how much time passed while we kissed and teased but when he finally emerged from the cave a while later, it was pitch black outside.

Kyp, standing at my side, pulled his shirt over his head suddenly and then went to unfasten his pants.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Going for a swim.” He answered with a laugh. “I want to get all this honey off. Care to join me?”

I looked out to the water, to the quiet waves. “You’re crazy, Kyp.”

He ran out towards the water with a loud whoop – completely naked I might add – and disappeared in the darkness for a quiet moment. He called out to me to hurry up.

Quietly laughing to myself, I stripped and joined him in the water.


	34. Chapter 34

The people of Deyer colony were decorating the city with colorful bands and putting up lights directed to a central area where they’d already put up what seemed to be a stage. There was loud laughter while men and women worked to finish before night finally settled.

“What are they celebrating?” I asked softly, holding Kyp’s hand as we strolled through the city.

“Summer solstice festival.” He pointed to a bronze statue that stood near the stage, tall and evidently nude female with short pudgy arms and a big smile. “Fertility Goddess.” Kyp said with a hint of a smile. “I always thought she was pretty ugly. Still think she is.”

I gasped and pinched his arm. “You don’t talk ill about a Goddess. Imagine she’s listening to you now. And she’s a fertility Goddess. You should be thankful she worked her magic on me.”

Kyp laughed. “I don’t believe in Gods.”

“Maybe you should. Because you never know.” I winked at him and he laid his arm around my shoulders as we passed the stage and more decorated homes to walk down a small alley that led to the guest house. Even the guest house had colorful bands and ribbons spread along the roof and connected to lamp posts in the street.

When we entered, I noticed Soraya was still bustling around the place with a cleaning cloth in her hand and still wearing the same apron she’d had on during dinner. I sensed that Kyp was tired, I could actually see it in the dark rings underneath his eyes but I was still wide awake and pretty curious about this festival and Deyer in general. And if Soraya had lived here all her life, she was the perfect person to pose questions to.

“Why don’t you go up and lay down?” I said to Kyp as we headed to a flight of stairs that led up to the second floor. “I want to take a look around.”

“Liz –“

“Nothing is going to happen, Kyp. Don’t worry. And besides, you’re tired. Get some rest. I’ll be up in a little while.”

I could see how he warred with himself. On the one hand he didn’t want to seem too protective (which he was) and on the other hand, he wanted me to be as safe as I possibly could. But honestly, what could happen here? The people were peaceful.

“Go, Kyp. I’ll be okay.”

Kyp sighed and tiredly rubbed his eyes. He kissed me softly, cupping the side of my face in his hand. “Promise me you won’t do anything stupid.”

I grimaced. “Kyp –“

“ _Behave_ yourself, Eliziya.”

I tried hard not to smile. I didn’t succeed. “I’ll behave myself. I promise.”

“And don’t go wandering outside on your own.”

I laughed at him. “Wasn’t planning to.”

He kissed me again, longer and slower. He lingered a few seconds and then he kissed the tip of my nose and disappeared up the flight of stairs.

*

“He loves you.”

I whirled around as Soraya approached me. Her smile was warm and kind but I detected sadness through the Force.

“Yes.” I said with a nod. “He’s a bit overprotective sometimes.”

“I imagine that can be somewhat…aggravating.”

I laughed. “You have no idea.”

Soraya sighed and folded wrinkled hands behind her back. Her green eyes stared at me with unanswered questions. I sensed that there was something on her mind so I stepped closer and placed a hand on her arm as a reassuring gesture. “Is there something bothering you?”

“Come, child.” She said, patting my hand and nodding towards the dining chamber. “There’s something that I would like to show you.”

I followed her through the dining chamber to an adjacent room. It was a study or a library of sorts. It wasn’t too big but comfortable. The sofa in the corner of the room was very inviting. I could just imagine curling up on it with candles lit all around me while reading through a book.

“This is where I come for privacy.” Soraya said. “When the Empire destroyed the city all those years ago, they’d left one wall of my home intact. I build the guest house with that one wall, using it as the beginning.”

“I’m sorry that you lost your home.”

“We rebuilt everything. And the dome around the city is protection should another fleet decide to bomb our world.”

I smiled slightly. “I doubt that will ever happen again.”

“As do I but it’s better to be safe than sorry.”

“True.” I walked over to a shelf where she’d stored all sorts of crystalline figures along with a few holograms of family members. There were datacards and flimsies, several stylus’ scattered about.

“Here.”

I turned towards Soraya and raised my brows as she handed me a little metal box. There were symbols all around it in different colors and the clasp at the front was a beautiful intricate golden hook. “What is this?” I asked.

Soraya laughed. “Memories.”

She sat down on the sofa and stretched swollen legs with a little groan. “I haven’t opened the box in years. I think you should have it.”

Confused, I frowned at her. “I don’t understand.”

“Open it. And you will.”

Thinking nothing of it, I clicked the clasp open and blinked as I saw images on flimsies, too many to count all at once. There were little pieces of jewelry on leather bands, tiny toys and collectibles.

When I took a closer look at the images, my frown deepened.

I saw two tousled headed young boys, dark hair, green eyes. It was evident that they were brothers. There were pictures of their parents, of them as a family. Soraya was in a few of them as well.

My heart quickened.

Memories…

I took a closer look at the pictures and in one of them, I recognized the mischievous smile that I’d grown so accustomed to.

It was Kyp. As a boy.

I glanced at Soraya. “Who are you?”

She chuckled. “Family.”

*

Well, suffice it to say I was at a loss for words. And I think it’s understandable when a stranger suddenly comes up to you and says “Hey, by the way, I’m part of the family. Want some tea?”

I clicked the memory box shut and sat back with a sigh on my lips. I had absolutely no idea what to say next, let alone handle this situation. So Soraya and I simply stared at one another and I caught myself comparing her features to Kyp’s. Their eyes were the same emerald green and I presumed that her hair had once been the same dark color. If what she said was true, then maybe he’d inherited the straight nose and jaw from her side of the family. I saw a resemblance but maybe it was my mind playing tricks on me.

“How…” I frowned and cleared my throat, running my finger over the top of the memory box. “How?”

Soraya laughed quietly. “When our home was attacked all those years ago, I wasn’t on planet. I was visiting my son at the time. When word got back to me…” She shrugged. “I thought everyone had died. I wasn’t aware that Kyp had survived until years later.”

It was a bit much to take in. I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, feeling a monstrous ache coming along. “I take it you’re his grandmother?” I said. “If what you’re saying is true, of course.”

“Is the box not proof enough?”

I looked up at her indignant tone. “Anyone could put a box together like this. I’m sorry but I have to be careful with this. If you’re lying to me and I tell Kyp about this, it will kill him.” I frowned at her. “Why come to me with it anyway? Why not confront Kyp directly.”

“He recognizes me.” She said gently, slowly. She turned her gaze away and the smile on her face seemed far away; she was remembering. “He doesn’t realize who I am. Not yet. I am…afraid of confronting him.” Her smile turned sad as she turned towards me again. “I’m not sure how he would take this news and I had a feeling that you are a more open-minded and peaceful person.”

I chuckled at her assessment. “I suppose so.”

Still, I was unsure. This was a big thing, a huge thing. And what if she was lying? Sure, the memories in the box were real. I would recognize Kyp anywhere, even as a boy but…Force, anyone could have collected the items over the years.

“There is a data chip inside the box.” Soraya said. “It contains a recording made when Kyp was only a toddler. Perhaps, after you’ve watched it, you’ll believe me.”

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “Alright. I’ll watch it. But then what? Do you want me to tell him that you’re part of his family? A family he thought was completely wiped out?”

Soraya simply smiled. “Please. Watch the recording.”


	35. Chapter 35

I did.

That very night.

With the memory box tucked underneath my arm, I walked into our room and quietly shut the door behind me. Kyp was fast asleep, sprawled on the bed spread-eagle. He was still wearing his clothes so I guess he’d simply wanted to rest his eyes for a moment.

I walked to the small sofa, grabbed my data pad and rummaged through the memory box for the data chip. I was amazed at what Soraya had collected over the years. In the dim light of the room, I recognized drawings made by a child’s hand, so many old pictures, a leather necklace attached to a sea shell and tucked underneath it all, I finally found the data chip.

I was beyond nervous at this point. Taking a deep breath, I looked up to Kyp’s sleeping form on the bed. I stopped moving for a moment, simply taking him in and smiling to myself. Seeing him like this, so ordinary while he slept, it was difficult to believe that he’d been cause for so much trouble over the years. He was such a strong-willed person, stubborn to the last, loyal and faithful but what would this news to do him?

I wanted it to be true, for his sake. He wouldn’t be alone anymore.

Sure, he had me by his side but that was different. This was his flesh and blood.

Switching on the data pad, I shoved the chip into the according socket and waited for a moment. After several seconds, a vid window opened. There was a woman’s voice, a beautiful voice. Kyp stirred on the bed and I turned the volume down.

Continuing watching the vid, I smiled to myself. The boy on the screen was about a year old, wobbly on his little legs as he tried to walk. Wavy dark hair was a mess around his head, his eyes were wide with wonder as he finally accomplished walking from his mothers’ arms into the arms of Soraya…

“You did it!” The other woman exclaimed, her smile radiant. “Zeth, did you see that?”

There was an annoyed sigh. “Yes, Mom. I saw it. I _am_ holding the cam, after all.”

It was a vid showing the little boys’ accomplishments as he was growing up. From walking, to uttering his first real words to laughing so hard that he fell off a bed.

I shut off the data pad about an hour later.

There was no further doubt in my mind that Soraya was truly part of Kyp’s family.

Now it was time to figure out how to tell Kyp.

*

When morning finally arrived, I was staring through the window. I was still seated on the comfy little sofa in our room. It was going to be a beautiful day. I could tell by the way the sky changed from dark to light blue with strings of oranges and pinks poking through fluffy white clouds. Bird-like creatures soared through the air, singing a beautiful song that was absolutely mesmerizing when heard with the rushing water of the ocean nearby.

I hadn’t slept. Throughout the night all I could do was wonder how I was going to break the news to Kyp. I had mixed feelings about this entire family thing. Why lay this burden on _my_ shoulders? 

In a way, I understood that Soraya’s fear. Not every day you lay a bomb on someone like that: oh, by the way. You’re my grandson. Care for some tea?

Still…

I didn’t even have an inkling of a clue how Kyp would react. And that’s really saying something because I’ve known the man for years. Scenarios crossed my mind that either ended in a good way with a whole bunch of hugs and kisses or ended in a bad way with a bunch of shouts and disbelief and what-the-kriffs. The feeling I had in the pit of my stomach – it was leaning towards the shouting, disbelief and what-the-kriffs.

Oh, this was a mess. This was one enormous pile of smelly crap and I was stuck right in the middle.

I shoved the box of memories underneath the sofa with a sigh and shuffled towards the bed. Kyp was a pretty heavy sleeper when he had time for himself – if I didn’t wake him, he’d sleep through the entire day and well into the evening. I sat down on the bed and watched him for a long while. It was said that when someone slept, you could see his true face without worries or hardships.

Back when Kyp and I had first started seeing each other, I’d watched him sleep as often as I could. Because when he slept I knew that he was at peace.

It took me about an hour to get my act together, to have a semblance of calm. I had to make sure that I was relatively at ease before he opened his eyes and said hello by smiling at me. Once he was awake, he knew something would be amiss. He always did.

So I tried my best to be…normal.

I kissed the tip of his nose first, then his closed eyes before I finally settled on his lips. It was a warm tingle at the nape of my neck that let me know that he was awake. He didn’t move though; he was enjoying the little kisses. Maybe even a bit too much.

Slowly, I let my fingers wander underneath the covers. I trailed a path down his stomach, down to his hips where I pinched him. He jumped into a sitting position with a laugh.

“Evil.”

“Determined.” I said with a wink and smiled as I took in his overly disheveled appearance. His hair was like a halo around his head; he seriously looked like he’d stuck a finger into power socket.

Kyp leaned back and smiled at me. “How’re you feeling?”

I shrugged. “Same as always.”

“No morning sickness?”

I grimaced. “No.” I said with a sigh. “And hopefully never again.”

“Have you eaten yet?”

Arching a brow, I cleared my throat. “You’re very irritating. Stop asking questions.”

He made a face as if he were hurt. “Come on, babe. I have to make sure you and the baby are okay so I’ll ask questions. Get used to it.”

I clutched his pillow and threw it at his head. I was so not on board with this overprotective streak he had going on.

“And yes, this also means I have to deal with your mood swings.” He said, which earned him another swap with the pillow.

 “We’re absolutely fine. So you don't need to worry.” I said, laughing.

He pulled me into a warm embrace and kissed the top of my head. I snuggled closely and his hands wandered down to my belly. I had to wonder how long it would take until the pregnancy finally showed. I was overjoyed of course but I couldn't help but ask myself how things would go once we got back home.

I'd learned early on to ignore whispers and rumors but knowing that there were still a few people out there who wanted to harm Kyp and myself...the mere thought made me sick.

“What's wrong?” Kyp whispered, linking his hands with mine.

I shrugged. “Just thinking.”

“I don't like it when you think. Stop thinking.” I heard amusement in his voice. “Thinking makes you do stupid things.”

I snorted. “Yeah. You're one to talk.”

“I never do stupid things.”

Sitting up, I slowly turned to face him with raised brows. “Where should I begin?” I pursed my lips, trying to hide a smile. “How about all those times that filter between your brain and your mouth malfunctions?”

“That's usually just stating facts that no one else wants to hear.” He winked at me.

“True. But it's the way that you say it, love.”

“Straight forward with no room for argument?”

“Exactly.” I leaned forward and kissed him. “You step on people's toes and you don't care. That's being rude and on occasion even stupid.”

“No, sweetheart.” He said, tracing the outline of my face with his finger. “It's being who I am.”

*

After a little bite to eat, we headed out into town. Soraya was nowhere to be seen and I couldn't shake the feeling that she was avoiding us. Although, maybe I was just reading too much into the situation.

I wanted to speak with her, I wanted her to be there when I showed Kyp the memory box.

“Are you sure you're okay?” Kyp asked when the silence between us grew into the uncomfortable zone. “You're way too quiet.”

“Enjoy it while it lasts. You never know when the mood swings will strike.”

He pulled me to a stop and lifted my chin with his finger. His smile was warm and kind and so damned sexy that I had to hold back a moan. “What's going on?”

I was never a good liar. I've tried lying to Kyp several times mostly to calm that temper of his but it never works. He hates it when someone lies to him, especially me.

Well...crap.

“I'm just thinking.” I said, turning around but he grabbed my elbow.

“About what?”

I bit my lower lip, searching my brain for something that he wouldn't immediately see as a lie.

“Family.”

It was a half truth, not a lie. I _was_ thinking about family.

He smiled at me and pulled me closer. “A family of our own.” He kissed my forehead. “I'm looking forward to it.”

I breathed a sigh of relief. “So am I.”

He got a look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite decipher. It made my insides twist in a good way and suddenly I felt like I was a teenager again, in love for the first time and walking on pink clouds. He dipped his head closer and when his lips touched mine, I swear I thought I was floating. I felt warmth and love through our bond and it was growing difficult to contain all these lovey-dovey feelings all of a sudden. I had this urge to scream out to the universe how happy I was.

I was with the man I loved and I was pregnant with his child. It was amazing. It was absolutely perfect.

“I love you.” I whisper against his lips, fingers tangled in his hair as I smile like a complete idiot. But he’s no better, though. It looked like his face was about to split in half.

*

Like two fools in love – which we were – Kyp and I wandered down to the festival holding hands. It was a party of the likes I’d never seen before.

Back home on Coruscant people knew how to make a big thing out of festivities. You had the loud music and the food and the drinks but even though it was fun to watch, it was never much fun to be a part of it.

But here – it was absolutely amazing.

The decorations we’d seen the previous evening encased the entire area; colored bows and strings, lights strung out from house to house. There was a dance floor in the center and a bunch of little booths all around it.

I heard Soraya’s wonderful laugh before I saw her standing behind a counter of an open air pub. She was selling sweet smelling drinks for the grown-ups and tea and juice for the kids. The white dress she wore made her skin look golden; she’d braided her snowy white hair down her back.

“Wow.” I said, awed by everything. “This is absolutely fantastic.”

“Yeah.” Kyp chuckled. “The colonists always knew how to throw a party.”

“It’s like this every year?”

Kyp raised his brows. “What do you take us for? We have more than one party a year.”

I laughed as we weaved our way towards Soraya’s booth.

*

The first thing that hit me was the smell of honey. Honey in all sorts of shapes and sizes. There was the foamy ale Soraya was selling, there were cakes and little candy pieces and even a few loaves of bread.

And it seemed half the colony was there to have a taste of all that honey. Soraya looked absolutely stunning with her tanned skin and the white dress. Her smile lit up half the planet and little wrinkles appeared at the sides of her green eyes. She seemed like the mother of the colony the way she shook hands and patted backs or how she laughed aloud at things people were saying.

When she saw us approaching, she immediately stopped what she was doing. Her smile was frozen in place as she leaned down to a young woman, probably giving her instructions. She nodded a few times and then Soraya walked towards us, wiping her hands on an apron she had tied around her waist.

She seemed distant. I saw the unasked question in her eyes.

Did I tell Kyp the news yet?

I gave her an almost imperceptible head shake. The light in her eyes dimmed a little.

“This is a lovely lovely place you've set up.” I said, raising my voice over the sounds of music and laughter and loud talk all around us.

“It's the biggest festival on the planet.” Soraya said. “Would you care for refreshments?” She gestured to her booth. “I'm certain you'd like the mead.”

I bet I would. But I doubted the baby would appreciate it much.

I smiled apologetically. “Thank you but I'll pass. But I'd love to try a piece of that cake.”

Or maybe two pieces or even three...and maybe some of the candy and the bread, too...

Soraya took a step closer and took my hand, leading me towards her booth. I noted her skin was dry and calloused, the hands of a woman who’d been working hard all her life.

“The cake is amazing.” She said. “Ahna made it just this morning…” She kept on going about all the stuff she was selling and how she was collecting for a charity.

I took a quick look over my shoulder and shot Kyp a smile.

Soraya was completely ignoring him although I couldn't blame her. They were strangers to one another and he wasn’t really being the nicest guy. Standing with his arms across his chest, he was looking out over the crowd as if he was expecting an ambush at any minute. Eyes slightly narrowed, feet spread a bit just in case he had to sprint to kick some bad guys' ass. And he’d seemed to have lost his tongue because he hadn’t even said hello.

A little nod was all the greeting Soraya was going to get.

I wished he’d loosen up a little and enjoy the party. Already a few of the colonists were giving him strange looks, some were whispering and I swear I saw a group of girls point and giggle.

Giggling girls, never a good thing.

Deep down inside I think Kyp knew that he was connected to Soraya on some level. And he didn't like it so he went on the defensive. In all honesty, maybe he was afraid. I'd sure as hell be afraid in his shoes. He comes home, he has no idea what to expect and then an old woman shows up who stirs up crazy feelings inside.

With a somewhat rueful smile, I turned away from Kyp, giving Soraya my undevided attention. If Kyp got into trouble, I'd hear it. Men would be wailing in pain while women cried for some sort of security force to save the wailing men.

That's my Kyp. He butts heads together and asks questions later.

Sighing, I watched as Soraya went back to filling up mugs and cups with mead for the grown-ups and juice for the kids. I was amazed at the simplicity of this village, the easy-going atmosphere. I was amazed at the heartiness and warmth these people held for one another. Standing beside Soraya, I suddenly felt the growing need to be a part of it. 

“Need some help?” I asked and I was delighted when she thrust a mug in my hands and showed me how to work...er...the...um...good Gods! What's it called? A drink dispenser?


	36. Chapter 36

“I've never seen you around here before.”

I smiled politely as the middle aged, very drunk man kept coming closer and closer. Even across the counter I could smell his intoxicated breath. “I'm visiting.”

“Really?” He said and I think he was really interested in my story. Not that I was going to tell him anything of value, of course. “Who's it you've come to see?”

For a moment, I wondered what kind of silly story I could tell him. I wasn't about to tell him the truth and I wasn't sure it was wise to mention the name Durron around here either.

“My dead uncle.” I said, hiding a grin as the man's eyes grew as big as saucers.

“Your dead uncle?”

I beckoned for him to come closer and started to whisper, as if there was some conspiracy going on. “He died here about thirty years ago. Very suspicious circumstances. My aunt said they buried him here, near the beach. She believes he's still walking around. A ghost, you know? She gave me a satchel. A magical satchel to place on his grave. To give him peace.”

The man stared at me and his lip twitched. “Really?”

“Uh-huh.” I nodded vigorously. “Care for another drink?”

I tried not to laugh as he turned around and started retelling my stupid story to a group of his friends.

“You're starting up a round of gossip.”

I turned around towards Kyp's voice and couldn't help laughing. “I know. And it's fun.” I paused. “Think he believed me?”

“I think he believes you've lost your mind.”

While Soraya and the other woman – Ahna – kept working, I took Kyp's hand and sat down towards the back. A few benches and tables had been set up with a tarp covering the seating area because they were expecting rain. The moment I sat down, my feet started to ache.

It was like I had ten kilos of weights on each leg. Seriously – what the hell? I hadn't even been standing for an hour and already I was feeling like an invalid?

I leaned back against the bench and looked down to my stomach. Was I just getting old or was the baby already saying hello in a very uncomfortable way?

“So.” I said, folding my hands. “Wanna go down to the beach and place a magical satchel on a non existent grave? Just to freak them out?” I nodded towards the group of men who looked our way.

I waved.

“So you'll be the talk of the town?” Kyp asked with a laugh.

“Oh, honey. I'm _already_ the talk of the town.” I grinned at him. “It's because I'm so pretty.”

It was the most wonderful thing, hearing Kyp laugh. I hadn't heard it in a while. After everything...there hadn't really been much time to laugh.

I moved my leg a bit and winced as a stupid piercing pain ran down towards my foot.

Invalid! Honestly?

As attentive as Kyp was, he didn't miss the wince. Of course not. Why wouldn't he? It was only natural I give him more cause to worry and more cause to be overprotective. Inwardly, I sighed.

But to my surprise, Kyp didn't say a single word. Instead, he leaned forward, grabbed my leg and...gave me a flippin' foot rub.

I sighed at how good it felt. “Have I told you lately how much I love you?” I said, closing my eyes.

We smiled at one another and then he laughed.

And it felt perfect.

*

It was past mid day when I started getting hungry. Ahna, the sweetest girl, brought me a few slices of cake and some of the juice the kids were enjoying. Kyp sat next to me, staring out towards the crowd with the strangest look in his eyes. For a moment there, I thought he'd drifted off into a personal little dream world of his.

“You okay?” I asked, sipping at my juice and trying hard not to make a face because it was so damned sweet. I set it aside and took a bite of the cake. Oh, it was delicious. Yep...I was so taking that entire cake back to the guest house with me...

I waited a few seconds but Kyp didn't answer. Frowning and putting my plate aside, I poked his upper arm. “Hey. You in there somewhere?” I waved my hand in front of his face.

He blinked a few times and turned my way. “Sorry. You were saying something?”

I gasped loudly, making sure my frown seemed as real as possible. “Are you saying...you weren't _listening_ to me?” I all but squeaked. I was in such a good mood, it was fairly difficult to keep a straight face, let alone pretend to be angry. “I can't _believe you_.” I crossed my arms over my chest and turned away from him.

“Liz --” I felt his shock through our Force bond.

“Can you imagine how difficult it was to come up with all the right words? It took me almost forever to even raise the courage to broach the subject!” I shot him an evil look over my shoulder. “ _And you weren't even listening!_ ” I hissed.

He'd lost all color. I'd rarely seen him so pale before. He was moving his mouth like a fish out of water, trying to find something to say and undoubtedly trying to apologize for something he hadn't even done.

Which made this whole scheme that much more fun.

“I...um...” He swallowed. “I'm...sorry?” He said carefully.

“You're sorry?” I echoed, shaking my head in mock disbelief. “Great. You're sorry.”

“By the Force...why are you being this way?” He said, raising his voice just a little. He rolled his eyes, too.

“You don't have to yell at me!”

His eyebrows nearly slipped off his head. “I'm not yelling.” He said as calmly as he possibly could. It was like he was treading on egg shells. 

That's when I couldn't keep it inside anymore. At first it was only a chuckle and then it was full out laughter. My stomach even started to hurt because I was laughing so much. “Oh, you should have seen your face!” I said in between gasps of air. “And just think, I was only playing you now.” I leaned closer and lowered my voice. “I've heard pregnant women can get difficult.”

Kyp narrowed his eyes. “Not funny, Eliziya. So not funny.”

“Oh but it was.” I gave him a little peck on the cheek. “I really had you rattled there didn't I?”

He cleared his throat a few times and looked away. Good Gods – the man was sulking!

“You're not angry with me, are you?” I asked, poking at his hand. “It was only a little fun.”

“At my expense.”

“I couldn't resist!” I said with a slight giggle. “You were day dreaming --”

“I was _thinking_.” He said hotly but I noted how the side of his mouth lifted just a fraction.

“Thinking about what?”

Ahna chose that moment to approach us. She was a very pretty woman with long straight blond hair that fell over her shoulders like a water fall. Her eyes were so dark they seemed almost black and her little button nose made her look a lot younger than she was. “Soraya is wondering if you'd like some more juice?”

I smiled at her. “Thanks so much but I'm fine.” I nodded towards my half empty cup on a little side table. “But I'd love another slice of cake, if that's okay?”

Kyp cleared his throat. “You've already had three slices...”

Slowly, I swiveled my head towards him. “Do you...value your life, love? Because if you do, never take away a pregnant lady's food!”

Kyp laughed and shook his head as he pushed up onto his feet. He leaned forward and kissed the top of my head. “Life would truly be boring without you, sweetheart.” He paused for just a moment. “Will you be alright here for a little while?”

I frowned at him. “Of course. I can spread some more tourist-y rumors to pass the time. Where are you going?”

He shrugged. “Just something I need to take care of.” With a smile on his face, he turned away and I watched him disappear in the crowd.


	37. Chapter 37

“So.” Soraya sat down beside me just a few minutes after Kyp had gone. “How's the dead uncle?”

“I'm guessing his ghost is still wandering about.” I said without missing a beat. “Ghosts tend to get frustrated because no one can see them, did you know that?”

Soraya's eyes twinkled when she smiled and I was sure she tried to hold back a laugh. “You are one of a kind, aren't you?”

I snorted. “I hope so. Just imagine there are more out there in the wide open galaxy just like me...I'd have to go out on a mission to find them all and make clear that I'm the one and only. I think I'd shoot them all. Or rather, have someone shoot them for me. I don't like doing the dirty work.” I winked at her before going back to watching the crowd. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Soraya slowly shake her head, her little laugh still bubbling up.

The people on Deyer seemed to love to dance. The music was great, the kind of music that you can't really sit still listening to. Every cell in your body wants you to get up and join the crowd and make one hell of a fool of yourself.

I'd have done it but my feet were swollen. I think the locals would have gotten a kick out of the ghost girl on the dance floor. I'm sure I could have done some epileptic jerky dance routine to keep them talking.

But alas...I was still half an invalid.

“Eliziya.” Soraya said slowly, almost carefully. I took a quiet breath, knowing what was coming. “Have you shown Kyp the box?”

Turning my head her way, I managed the kindest smile I could. “No.”

I crushed her hope with that single word. The twinkle in her eyes all but dissipated.

“Oh.” She said quietly, folding wrinkled hands in her lap.

“I think we should show him together.” I said. “When the time's right.”

But when was the time right? When was it right to tell him that his family had been here all along? When was it right to tell him that he wasn't alone in the galaxy?

We sat together without talking for a long time. I closed my eyes and listened to the music, listened to the dancing and to the crowd having a great time.

“He'll be so angry with us, won't he?” Soraya asked quietly.

I didn't respong. Knowing Kyp...yes, he would be angry.

She blew out a breath. “We found out that he was alive when the first reports of the Jedi arrived. I saw him on the holonet.” There was a wayward expression on her face as she remembered. “I knew when I saw him that it was Kyp. He looks just like his father.” Soraya wiped a single tear from her face. “We never...contacted him, thinking he might not even want to know about his family. It's the reason I'm...rather afraid to approach him myself. He'll be angry with us.”

I raised my brows. “Us?”

“My son and my grandchild are here as well.” Soraya nodded towards Ahna, who was animatedly talking to one of the locals.

I was speechless. All this time I'd thought it was only Soraya.

“Ahna's...your granddaughter?” I asked a bit bewildered.

Soraya didn't get to answer because I saw Kyp coming towards us, edging his way through the thick crowd as carefully as he could. He smiled at the locals and even apologized as he pushed through.

There was something different about him. He was so happy all of a sudden. It wasn't just the sudden easy-going aura he had going but through our Force bond I felt that he was genuinely happy.

What the heck could have happened in an hour to make his mood change like that?

“Hello Soraya.” He said casually as he came closer. Good Gods – he actually said hello!

I gaped at him. “Who are you and what have you done with my man?”

He chuckled while he held out his hands for me to take. When I did, he pulled me off the bench and kissed me softly on the lips. “I take it you behaved yourself?” He whispered, leaning towards my ear. His hands went around my waist and he pulled me closer, squeezing ever so slightly. “Tell me you behaved yourself.”

I laughed. “Of course I behaved myself. I swear I didn't break anything and I didn't spill anything and I didn't start a war.”

He trailed little kisses down my neck when he quietly laughed. “That's my girl.”

I pulled back, absolutely amazed by this sudden change I felt inside of him. “Are you okay?”

“Of course. Why wouldn't I be?” He seemed rather taken aback by my question.

“It's just...you're so happy. You're bouncy.”

He grinned at me. “I know.”

“ _Okaaaaay_.” Awkwardly, I laughed at him. “Is there a reason for the bounciness?”

He kissed my cheek while gently massaging my knuckles. This was one hell of a change...not that I was complaining or anything. I liked when he was happy and bouncy.

It just never happened all that often.

“Walk with me, Liz.” His voice was low against my ear. I felt his teeth graze my lobe and I closed my eyes as chills ran along my skin.

“Whereto?”

He didn't answer. “Come on. Walk with me.”

Kyp took my hand and led me through the crowd, back the way he'd come. I managed a little wave towards Soraya before she disappeared in a mass of bodies and bobbing heads.

*

We sat upon a cliff, near the edge. I tasted salt in the misty air and tiny drops of water came towards us from the sea below. Kyp sat behind me, arms tightly secured around my waist, one hand gently stroking my belly. I leaned against him with my eyes closed, absolutely enjoying the tranquility of the moment.

“This is beautiful, Kyp.” I said quietly, my fingers running along his knuckles. “The entire planet is beautiful.”

I felt him stiffen. “The memories aren't.”

“Surely not all memories are bad.” I shifted in his arms and raised my eyes to meet his searching gaze. “Don't dwell on the bad things. Think about the good stuff that happened here.”

Kyp's smile stretched into something adorable and loving. I kissed him slowly and his hold around me grew tighter. “How the hell did I deserve a woman like you?” He whispered against my lips.

“It's your good looks and your sexy smile, love.”

He raised his brows, his smile stuck on his face. “Is that all?”

“Well...” I kissed his cheek. “You certainly have other traits I value.”

“Like what?”

“Like that thing you do with your tongue when you kiss me.”

There was a sudden spike in our Force bond, a spike I recognized as desire.

“Like this?” Our lips met in another kiss and yeah...he did that thing and hell…I was glad I wasn't standing. My legs were all wobbly.

Isn't it amazing? Even after all these years Kyp still blows my mind. Be it a loving gesture, or a quick little smile or only a fleeting touch.

 “There’s something I want to do, Liz.” Kyp said after a quiet moment and going by the tone of his voice, the first thing that came to mind was that he wanted to jump off the cliff and dive into the water. But only under one condition, of course.

No clothes.

I nearly laughed. “Do you want to be nice to people for a change?”

Kyp chuckled. “Not what I had in mind.”

I shrugged. “Was worth a shot.”

I felt his hot breath on my neck and a shiver ran along my skin as he nipped at my earlobe. “Marry me, Eliziya.”

I was completely stumped.

Dumbfounded.

Speechless.

Even though I’m not necessarily your average girl, I’ve always hoped for a wedding. I’ve always hoped that Kyp would propose but life sort of got in the way.

Kyp took out a piece of jewelry from his pocket while I was already imagining myself wearing a flowing white wedding gown. I was expecting a ring but he surprised me. He fastened a beautiful silver bracelet around my wrist, green gems twinkling in the light.

And still I was at a loss for words. I felt that Kyp was getting slightly nervous.

“This would be the time for you to say something.” Kyp said after several heartbeats of silence.

Did he honestly believe I was going to say _no_?

“So that’s where you ran off to!” I said with a little laugh. “You bought me a bracelet.”

Kyp nodded and I leaned forward and captured his lips in a warm kiss. “Of course I’ll marry you, my dear Jedi.”

His grin reminded me of the pictures of him as a young boy stashed away in the memory box. I shoved the thoughts to the back of my mind, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“Here. On Deyer.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“I want you as my wife before we leave for home.”

“Are you…are you serious?”

He cupped my face in his hands, staring at me with love filled eyes. “I‘ve never been more serious about anything in my life.”


	38. Chapter 38

Back at the guesthouse we sat down in a small common room. There was an unlit fireplace opposite the sitting area with a thick black rug right in front of it. I think the thing used to have a head…stars, had I just literally stumbled over a dead animal?

Tall tree-like plants stood in each corner of the room; some even had colorful petals that resembled birds.

Kyp had made hot chocolate and brought out a few cookies from the kitchen. Obviously, he kept the cookies for himself. How could you be so stingy when it came to sweets? Would he pass the basket over for me to indulge? Of course not.

While I sipped my drink with a smirk and watched Kyp munch on his cookies, I suddenly realized how lucky I truly was. I smiled to myself, blowing over the rim of my mug. I was pregnant with his child and soon I would be his wife.

I was going to get married!

I tried not to giggle like a schoolgirl.

But how could I not? Back when I was a little girl, I swore the only day I’d voluntarily wear a dress was the day I got married. And so here I was imagining myself wearing a beautiful white dress with matching shoes and my hair all pretty and piled up at the back of my head. And I’d wear jewelry too. Lots of twinkling gems. And someone would have to put on my make-up. You had to look like a Princess on your wedding day, right?

I laughed as I took another sip of hot chocolate.

My plan was to spend the rest of my life with the knucklehead who wouldn’t share his cookies. I couldn’t even imagine a life without him by my side. It scared the crap out of me just thinking that maybe someday something awful would happen to him when he was out on a mission.

I took a deep breath. It wasn’t the time to dwell on the negative things. I needed to think positive and I had every reason to do so.

Officially, we’d be a family soon.

I sighed.

Family.

That damned box was still up in our room. Even though I thought it was best to have Soraya around once I dropped the bomb on Kyp, I wanted to get it over with. Depending on how he would react, maybe it was a good thing that she wasn’t even in the house.

I set my mug on the table and took a deep breath. “Hey cookiemonster.”

He looked up at me with a little smile. To emphasize his point that he wasn’t going to share, he bit off a piece of a deliciously looking chocolate cookie and chewed exuberantly. “Hm?”

I thought about shooting him a stupid reply but I held back, thinking that I was the adult here. I would not be annoyed that Kyp, my husband to be, wasn’t sharing his snack.

But you know what? I was annoyed.

Stingy little brat.

I took a deep breath and ran my hands through my hair. All fun aside, I had to do this. I had to tell Kyp about the memory box and the best way was to do it quickly, right? Like ripping off a bacta patch.

“Um…there’s something I haven’t told you yet.”

I felt a spike of alarm in the Force. He sat forward, elbows perched on his knees and hands folded in front of him. “Okay.” He said slowly.

 “I don’t know where to begin.”  

“ _You don’t know where to begin…_ ” Kyp echoed, brows pulled into a deep frown. “That’s one hell of a way to start a sentence after I just asked you to marry me, Liz.”

Okay.

It took me about half a minute to actually realize what he’d just said. Then it took me another few seconds to gape at him as if he’d just mutated into some slimy oozing monster. Did he honestly think I was about to confess to something?

 “Aw hell, Kyp. You’re such an idiot sometimes.” I leaned forward to grab a cookie but Kyp pulled the little basket away, out of my reach.

Man…he should have been glad I wasn’t having pregnancy cravings.

“You were about to tell me something.” He said, his voice low and pretty damned cold.

“Are you implying –“

“I’m not implying anything.”

I blew out a breath. “What I have to tell you has nothing to do with us, dumbass.” I frowned while my brain was working on overtime. “Were you expecting me to say I had an affair?”

Kyp rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He sat back and took a deep, almost quivering breath. “I know what happened…when we were apart.”

My eyebrows shot up. The first thing I did was think back to the time Kyp and I had split up. I was way too busy trying to get refugees to a safe new home and I would have remembered shacking up with someone. So I had no idea what in the nine Corellian Hells Kyp was talking about.

“Huh?” I blinked like an idiot.

“Nikk told me everything.”

Now he was just confusing the crap out of me. Whenever the name Nikk came up, it could never be a good thing. Nikk’s second name was trouble. “What’s Nikk got to do with anything?” I asked bewildered.

“He said you’d deny it.”

“Deny what?” I leaned forward, my face screwed up into a mask of confusion. Was he really saying what I thought he was saying? Did he really think me and Nikk – _good Gods!_

“I don’t blame you.” Kyp said, shaking his head. “I mean, we split up. And I remember how lonely it was during the war. Supposedly Nikk’s a good-looking guy; at least that’s what I keep hearing. And we both went our separate ways so I completely understand. It’s just…he’s my best friend and –“

“Stop!” I jumped to my feet. The basket of cookies rattled on the table. “Seriously – _Nikk_? The man who stands in front of the mirror going _Mirror Mirror on the wall who’s the baddest of them all_? Have you lost your mind?”

“Eliziya, I’m really not angry –“

“Nikk and I never –”

“What about that time the two of you had a night out on Corellia? I hear you were pretty drunk.”

“That was ages ago! We had a few drinks and we passed out on the sofa. Nothing _happened_!” I couldn’t believe I was getting so defensive. But honestly – where in the world was he getting this idea?

I’ll admit it – Nikk’s one hell of a good looking guy but he’s not my type at all. Never in a million years would I even _think_ about making out with him.

“Well, Nikk confessed.” Kyp said, his face expressionless. “He told me _everything_.” I really didn’t like the way he wiggled his eyebrows.

“But nothing happened!” I was about ready to shake the man so he’d see some sense. I couldn’t believe that Kyp thought I had slept with Nikk!

Was he crazy?

“Kyp, seriously. I’m not kidding. Nothing ever happened between me and Nikk. And nothing ever will.”

I suddenly caught the faintest trace of a smile on his otherwise blank face. And then he opened himself up to the Force and all I felt was bottomless amusement. He was _laughing_ at me.

He sat back in his chair and a self satisfying smirk appeared on his face. “Gotcha.”

I stared at him. Now it was my turn to open and close my mouth like a fish out of water. I was speechless. Who’d have though he could be so damned sneaky? He was using my carefully thought up tricks against me!

“You made all of that up, didn’t you?”

“It was just a little fun.” He _winked_ at me.

“At my expense!” I said, throwing my arms up in exasperation.

“Payback, sweetheart.”

“But…but that was so mean! I really thought you believed that me and… _Nikk_?”

Kyp beckoned for me to come towards him and when I was close enough, he took my hand and pulled me onto his lap. “The look on your face was priceless.”

I snorted. “I bet. I was really close to smacking you in the head.”

He laughed and kissed my neck. “I’ll make you a deal.” He whispered, which completely got my attention. “I’ll make it up to you tonight.”

“Really?”

“Mhm.” I felt his lips below my ear.

“And how do you intend to do so?”

He shrugged. “I’ll start off by showing you how beautiful you are.” The tip of his tongue ran down my neck; he kissed my collarbone, pulled my shirt aside to kiss my shoulder. “Nicely. Slowly. Nothing rough.” His lips touched my jaw, then my cheek and settled on my lips. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman.”

Any sort of coherent thought was lost at that moment.

And sadly the moment was also ruined when another guest suddenly ran through the common room, heatedly yelling into his com link. Businessman…makes you wonder why you take a vacation when you don’t find a way to relax.

Blushing like crazy, I slid off Kyp’s lap. His stare was dark and filled with passion and I had to admit, I was seriously and impatiently awaiting one on one time with him.

He laughed as he saw me fidget. “There was something you wanted to tell me?” He asked.

Oh…right. The box.

I almost grimaced. The box that would undoubtedly ruin my perfect night with him.

I sighed. “Stay here.”

*

I stopped in front of the door, my hand hovering above the opening mechanism encased in the wall. Biting my lip, I wondered if I could postpone the thing with the box, maybe wait another day or two but…yeah, if Kyp found out I’d kept this big secret to myself for too long, he’d be pretty pissed off.

I don’t like my man pissed off. Especially towards me.

Sighing, I ran the tips of my fingers over the number pad and the door opened quietly. The room was just the way I’d left it earlier in the day but still it felt different. Or maybe it was only me. Either way, something was different.

It was like the air was thicker, warmer and the closer I got to the box, the more it felt like I was about to break out in a sweat.

I knelt down on the floor, bent over to retrieve the box from under the sofa. When my fingers touched the cool, dark wood I took a deep breath and finally pulled it out. I stared at it where it sat on the floor, trailing my finger along the golden clasp in the front. This was Kyp’s family history.

I just hoped it wouldn’t tear him apart.

“Why are you sitting on the floor?”

_Crap_.

I swallowed before I turned around to meet Kyp’s curious gaze. He smiled a little, the tiniest frown on his forehead. He stood in the doorway, arms over his chest while he leaned against the frame. He looked marvelous this way, even with his hair haphazardly bound at the nape of his neck. Wavy strands framed his handsome face and his eyes twinkled in the soft light pooling through the window.

“Come sit by me.” I said, placing my hand on the cool floor to my left. “There’s something you need to see.”

Kyp pushed away from the doorframe and with two short strides, he sat his nice tight butt down next to me. His smile was still in place and he eyed me appreciatively. “Have I told you lately how beautiful you are?”

I chuckled. “Just a few minutes ago. But I never tire of hearing it.”

“Good.” He leaned my way and found my lips in a sweet little kiss. “Because I’m going to say it again tonight.” He kissed my neck. “And then tomorrow.” His lips wandered to my shoulder. “And the day after that.” And then I felt the tip of his tongue run upwards towards my ear. “Until you tell me to stop.”

I closed my eyes and in a husky whisper I said, “I won’t ever tell you to stop.”

“Good.” He kissed me again, longer and slower and for a quiet moment, the box was suddenly forgotten.

Reality caught up far too quickly, though. As much as I wanted to stay in his embrace, as much as I wanted to keep kissing him and then some, it was time to show him the box.

“Remember you said that Soraya seemed familiar?” I asked quietly.

He raised a brow. “Yeah.” He said slowly. “Why are you bringing her up? I don’t want to talk about her.”

I sighed. Defensive already even though I hadn’t even started.

“Yeah, well…we’re going to have to.” I reached to the other side and took the heavy wooden box in both hands. “She…um…showed me this.” Gods, my hands were shaking, my heart was up in my throat and I felt nauseous all of a sudden. “It’s yours.”

I thrust it towards him and before it could drop to the floor and possibly break, he caught it. “What are you talking about?”

I sighed. “Open it. I’m pretty sure you’ll realize why Soraya seems so familiar to you.”

Kyp hesitated, looking from me to the box and back again. For a long moment he simply stared at the thing and then he swallowed, shaking his head just a little. “What’s inside?” He asked quietly.

“Open it and find out.” I nodded towards the still closed box and realized that he was nervous.

I think on a subconscious level he already knew who Soraya was. He just hadn’t wanted to accept it yet.

Taking a deep breath, Kyp undid the golden clasp at the front. It swung back and forth for a moment with a quiet squeaky sound. He opened the top slowly and with a frown stared at the contents encased by thick folds of dark red velvet.

He didn’t make a sound as he took out a little white sea shell attached to a thick black string. He held it up, laid his head to the side and just looked at the thing. I couldn’t help but wonder what was going through his mind as he watched it hover like that. Kyp smiled then, just the tiniest smile but a smile nonetheless.

So maybe this wasn’t going to be as bad as I’d thought.

Kyp took a long look at the pictures next. He took everything out of the box and placed every item on the floor in a neat row, side by side. I didn’t dare touch anything. When he was finished, he ran his fingers along the velvet lining.

Several minutes passed in absolute silence. I didn’t know what to say. Was there even a decent thing to say in a situation like this?

Kyp suddenly shut himself off from the Force, a wall between us so thick there was no way in hell I could penetrate it. It didn’t bother me, though. If he wanted privacy, he would have it.

I placed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed.

Wordlessly, Kyp picked up all the items and put them back into the box. He was so careful with everything, so gentle, I was truly surprised.

He sealed the box and set it aside. Then he got to his feet, extended a hand and pulled me up. His eyes were a little moist but he hid it well behind a cocky smile. “Let’s go for a walk.” He said.

I blinked, confused. “A walk?”

“Yeah.”

“Down to the festival? Soraya –“

“ _No_. I don’t want to go near that place right now and I don’t want to see her.” His voice hardened just a little. “Down to the beach. Just you and me.”

I nodded. I stepped closer, touched my hands to each side of his stubbly face. “I’d love to.” I kissed him and he led the way out of the guesthouse, down to the warm beach.


	39. Chapter 39

We walked for about an hour, holding hands, both of us silent. It felt like back when we were younger; I could pretend that we hadn’t a care in the world and simply enjoy nature at its best. The evening was warm, the sun bathing everything in a beautiful golden and orange light as it slowly descended behind the horizon.

The only thing I didn’t like was the quiet.

I wiggled bare toes in the sand, kicked at it a few times and I almost tripped and landed flat on my face. Kyp was there in an instant, holding me upright. Standing behind me, he wrapped his arms around my waist and when I looked over my shoulder, I had expected to see amusement because no doubt I’d looked like a complete idiot tripping over my own feet but no…there wasn’t really anything there at all.

“You okay?” He asked quietly.

“Perfectly fine. Just having one of my klutzy episodes again, that’s all.”

“Be careful.” He kissed the top of my head. “Please. I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

I sighed and turned around to face him. “Kyp. There is something you need to understand.” I took his hands into mine. “I am _pregnant_. I am not an _invalid_.”

He blinked, inclined his head to the side a bit. “Okay. Fine. Let’s say you fall. Hit your head on a rock. Hit the ground too hard and the baby gets hurt. Then what?”

I dropped his hands and frowned at him. I didn’t like the edge in his voice, the sudden hostility. He’d completely closed himself off from the Force so I had no way of knowing what he was feeling but I was pretty sure that he was angry, maybe even disappointed.

“Are you _trying_ to pick a fight with me, Kyp?” I asked, crossing my arms in front of my chest. The wind brought along the scent and taste of salt from the sea. My skin tingled as I stared at him, the little bracelet he’d given me just a few hours earlier dangling on my wrist.

Kyp took a deep breath and shook his head. “Of course not. I’m just worried, that’s all.”

I grimaced. “It’s more than that and you know it. That box –“

“I’m not talking about it.” He turned away from me and stalked off in the direction we’d come from, back towards the village.

“Wait!” I hurried to catch up with him and when I finally did, I took his arm and spun him around. “Kyp, honestly. You need to –”

“What part of not talking did you not understand?” He snapped, pulling his arm out of my grasp. “And I really don’t need your professional opinion right now.”

I closed my eyes for a moment, listening to his quiet footsteps as he kept walking. How lovely would it have been if the sea could have washed all hardships away? I wished I could take it all back, giving him the box.

I knew he was hurting. And there wasn’t anything I could do about it.

I ran to keep up with him, tripped again but caught myself just in time before I found myself rolling around in the sand. Kyp kept going and I stopped, watched as the wind danced with his hair, how his muscles were tense and bunched up underneath his shirt. He just kept walking, straight ahead yet aimless.

“Kyp, wait!” I called out but my voice was lost in the growing wind. “Dammit, you stubborn idiot!” I cursed myself for having left my shoes in the village. It’s a wonderful feeling, the sand beneath your feet but not when you’re trying to run.

I slipped and fell forward but twisted to the side. Which was a bad idea because I hurt my ankle. Plopping down in the sand, I tried to keep a lid on the pain. It was like a serpent slithering upwards into my leg, biting down hard on my knee while poisoning my ankle. Gods, it hurt like kriff.

Tears sprang to my eyes and not only because I was stupid enough to slip and hurt my foot but because…well, this entire situation was stupid. This was supposed to be a time for Kyp and myself to get away from all the drama but instead…yeah.

I took a quivering breath and forced myself back up. The problem was, I didn’t have much hold on one leg so it was damned difficult getting one foot in front of the other.

“You fell.”

I looked up into Kyp’s face but said nothing.

“Let me help –“

“Just leave me alone. I can do this on my own, I don’t need your help.” Which, of course, was a complete lie but, hey, this is me. I would never admit to needing help, especially not when I was angry at Kyp in the first place.

“I’m not taking no for an answer.”

I whirled around and poked a finger at his chest. “Oh, but you expect me to take no for an answer? You won’t talk to me but you want me to let you help?”

“Eliziya, this is different.” A frown appeared on his forehead.

I tried to push by him but he wouldn’t let me. He took my arm in a gentle grip and I knew he was about to carry me the rest of the way.

Well…kriff that.

“No.” I pulled away from him, shaking my head. “I will do this alone.”

“No. You will not.” He said firmly.

I chuckled to myself. “Yeah, I will. Open your eyes wide and watch.”

He took my hand, spun me around. “Will you stop being so goddamned stubborn!”

I pushed him away because I’d made up my mind, stupid or not stupid. I was going to walk alone because it wasn’t far to the village anymore. Maybe another five to ten minutes and then we could start talking like normal, civilized people again.

But I slipped on a rock, hidden underneath the sand.

And I fell.

The last thing I remember before everything went dark, was a sharp pain in the back of my head.

*

I dreamt of a little boy running around a meadow, arms stretched out to the sides as if he were pretending he could fly. The sun was shining and there were little colorful birds soaring through the sky. I heard the sound of a river nearby along with the buzzing of insects settled atop flowers that bloomed in a multitude of different colors.

Even though the view was spectacular it was the little boy who completely held my attention.

I was utterly enthralled by his innocence and his lovely childish laugh made me want to laugh right along with him. He looked at me, smiled and big green eyes twinkled in the sunlight. Disheveled dark brown hair reached down to his chin and strands of it partially covered his eyes as the wind swept through the meadow.

My heart reached out to this little boy and I had this sudden urge to hold him against my chest and never let him go. He was important.

He was my life.

And I knew without a doubt that this little boy…was my son.

Sounded crazy to me too, especially since I’d just knocked my head open but I felt that it was more than a dream. I was seeing a glimpse of what was to come.

He turned my way and he smiled right before he lifted a hand to wave at me. I waved back, my vision blurred and then I woke up.

The moment I opened my eyes, I started cursing like you wouldn’t believe it. Now, I’ve had my shares of headaches throughout my life but I’ve never hit my head like this before. And it hurt like hell. So cursing was totally in order.

“Open your eyes for me.”

There was a man hovering above me and he was holding a very annoying beeping scanning device. I’d never seen the man before, an elderly human  with sun kissed skin and a thick snow white braid hanging over his shoulder. I turned my head away because that stupid scanner was sure as kriff not doing me any good.

“I’m fine.” I mumbled, throwing my arm over my face. “Leave me alone.”

“I need to check –“

“Go away, dammit.”

Next thing I know there was a rough, calloused hand holding mine. I cracked one eye open and peeked underneath my arm. Kyp was kneeling on the floor and he looked like a total mess while he gently held onto my hand. Green eyes were pleading for me to do what the little white haired man said. All I wanted were some pain meds for the headache and then a long, very long, nap.

Reluctantly, I let my arm slide from my face and opened my eyes. The doctor – I assumed he was a doctor – led the scanner around my head, hmph-ing and oohing a little before he checked my pulse and blood pressure and when he was finished he packed the scanning device away and straightened to his full height.

He was pretty damned tall.

“You have a mild concussion.” He said and when he saw the shock on my face, he smiled warmly. “There’s nothing you need to worry about. You’ll be perfectly fine in a few days. You should rest as much as you can.”

My heartbeat went wild suddenly. “What about the baby?”

“I suppose the little one is comfortable and warm at the moment.” He winked. “Also perfectly fine. I’d suggest watching your step next time you’re out walking along the beach.”

He turned away and I watched him leave. Confused, feeling slightly nauseous, I took a deep breath and –

Kyp was suddenly right above me, cupping my face with his hands. “You scared the kriffing _hell_ out of me, Eliziya.”

“Come on, Kyp. Not like I did it on pur—“

“Shut up.” He leaned forward and touched his forehead to mine while his thumbs gently caressed my cheeks. “Just…shut up.” The quiver in his voice was the thing that did it. I couldn’t say a damned word even if I’d wanted to. I felt his fear for me, a palpable dark cloud hovering between us and it was so thick, I imagined I could use a knife to cut right through it. “Don’t ever do that to me again. Do you hear me?” He swallowed and his eyes twinkled in the light with unshed tears. “ _Ever_.”

For a long while, I didn’t know what to say. I slipped my fingers between his and squeezed because it was all I could do. I couldn’t make this better just by patting his hand and saying something stupid like “It’s alright. Everything’s going to be alright.”

Because it wasn’t alright. This entire situation wasn’t alright.

Several heartbeats later, I pulled him closer and kissed his cheek. “Please, don’t be angry with me.”

“I’m not, babe.” He said while he dipped his head to kiss my knuckles. “Just…the thought of something happening to you…breaks me. I saw you motionless and I’d already seen my life spiraling out of control because without you in it…”  He shrugged helplessly and his laugh was completely without humor. “Without you, life is meaningless.”

As sweet as I thought these words to be, they scared me. They scared me a whole lot because I couldn’t help but wonder if something ever happened to me, what would it do to Kyp? The way he was talking, I had the sense that he’d forget himself, that he would simply let things be and see where the currents took him.

“Please don’t talk that way.” I whispered while slowly shaking my head. “I’m here and I’m okay.” I forced a laugh. “I’m okay, Kyp.”

He squeezed my hand hard. “Let’s make sure it stays that way.”


	40. Chapter 40

He watched over me like a hawk from that moment on. If I had thought he’d been overdoing it with the protective crap before, now it was off the charts insane. If I had to use the fresher, he’d follow me to make sure I wouldn’t slip, stumble and bang my head open on the sink. Then he’d wait outside in front of the door to take my hand again and lead me anywhere I wanted to go.

Downstairs, he was at my side, eyeing everyone, taking in details, as if one of the guests at the house were an assassin out to get me. I couldn’t help but wonder when he’d start tasting my food and drinks for me.

Of course, he completely ignored Soraya. Even two days after opening the box of memories, Kyp refused to even look at her. He hadn’t talked about it either.

We were taking a walk through the little village when it was Kyp who actually broached the subject and this surprised me a great deal. “She’s my grandmother.” He said quietly, chewing on a piece of candy we’d picked up at a small store. “I only have a few memories of her but…yeah, she’s part of the family.”

“But you’re not happy about it?”

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Should I be happy?”

“Well…now you’re not alone anymore.”

Arching a brow, he turned his head my way. “I’m not alone, Liz. I have you.”

I smiled sweetly and tucked wayward strands of stubborn hair behind my ears. “But that’s different, Kyp. We’re family, yes but Soraya knew you as a little boy. She knows things you might have forgotten.”

He shrugged. “Some things are best forgotten.”

I raised my hand to trail a path down his cheek and the length of his neck. The silver bracelet dangled from my wrist, the beautiful jade green gems all shiny as the sun touched them. “You should remember the happy times, Kyp. And you really should talk to her.”

He took my hand into his and placed warm kisses on the tips of my fingers. “I will.”

I raised a brow.

“I swear, I’ll talk to her.” Kyp said.

“When?”

“Tonight. I promise.”

I laughed and laid my head on his chest, closed my eyes when he began stroking my back. I listened to the steady beating of his heart, the intake of air and the quiet exhale while he held me.

“Still up for being my wife?” Kyp asked a while later.

“Definitely.” I answered, raising my head and our lips met in a warm kiss.

Things were looking up again.

*

A day later, after the headache had mostly subsided, I wandered through the quiet guesthouse. I minded my step, of course. Falling down the stairs wouldn’t be very wise and running my head through a wall would really ruin the rest of the vacation so I moved slowly.

While I walked the deserted halls, I stopped and took a few moments to look at paintings on the walls. I’d rarely seen art this old before. When I ran my fingers across the canvas, I was surprised that the paint was real and not some fancy technology. I felt hard edges and crevices in the paint and as I closed my eyes, I imagined the artist bowed over the canvas with a brush in his hand, each stroke like a word in a book.

“Are you still feeling ill?”

I spun around and inwardly chastised myself for letting someone sneak up on me. Yeah, just perfect Jedi material, right?

Soraya stepped closer, her hands folded in front of her. She seemed tired. Her normally lively green eyes were darker than usual. The smile that had seemed permanent was barely visible and even her snow white hair was tousled.

“I’m fine. I couldn’t sleep.” I said quietly, forcing a little smile. “Is everything alright?”

Soraya sighed and shook her head. “I met Kyp in town this afternoon. Did he tell you?”

“No.” I’d taken a little nap while Kyp had been out and about enjoying his home. With my idiotic fall and the pregnancy, I’d been feeling completely beside myself and sleep had been there to grant me comfort. “Did you speak to one another?”

Her smile faltered, leaving behind the face of a tired old woman. “I tried to.”

“I’m sorry, Soraya. He said he would talk to you.” I said quietly. “I thought he’d taken this…discovery…fairly well.”

“He’s good at hiding his feelings.”

I nearly snorted. The woman had no idea. Kyp was the master at hiding his feelings. The uber master. If there was something higher up the ranks than master that’d be Kyp. If he didn’t want you to know what he was thinking or feeling, you didn’t know.

Period.

“Will you walk with me?” I asked, holding out my hand for her to take. “I was hoping to get a bit of fresh air.”

Soraya’s gaze got caught on the silver bracelet dangling around my wrist. The soft yellowish light from the glow lamps above reflected off the jade stones. She gave a quiet gasp and took my wrist into her hand. Her fingers were cold on my skin when she gently prodded the piece of jewelry. “I haven’t seen one of these in years.” She whispered quietly.

“It’s a beautiful bracelet, isn’t it?”

“It’s more than just that, my dear.” She smiled a little, running her finger along one of the stones. “Each stone is a promise. Five stones for five promises. A bracelet such as this is given to the person who owns your heart.” Soraya said and let go of my hand. “He’s asked you to become his wife.”

I raised my brows as I took a closer look at the bracelet. I’d realized, of course, that it was a symbol for our future union but I hadn’t even thought about what the stones could mean. “Five promises?” I whispered. “Are all promises the same with each bracelet?”

Soraya laughed quietly as she led the way further down the hall. “Of course not, my dear. He’ll keep the promises to himself until the ceremony. It’s a custom here.”

“I didn’t…I didn’t know.” I wrinkled my nose, suddenly feeling a little uncomfortable. “I thought it would be simple like back home on Coruscant.”

Soraya clucked her tongue and shook her head. “You’ll be family soon. And no family of mine will have just a simple wedding ceremony. We’ll find you a beautiful gown and we’ll have the girls over to fix your hair and make-up.”

I gulped. “Girls?” I was pretty sure it came out as a squeak.

“And there shall be a feast. Music and dance. A wedding as it should be.”

“A feast?”

Soraya laughed and patted my hand as she led the way down the stairs. “Don’t worry. We’ll make this an unforgettable event.”

I didn’t doubt it for a minute.

*

Soraya was completely in her element. She talked and talked and talked and planned and after we sat outside on the porch for a while, she hurried back into the guesthouse and came back out with a notepad and a light pen.

I had no idea what she was doing but I let her. She was happy planning the wedding ceremony and I was happy that I didn’t have to do it myself.

Truth be told, I wouldn’t have done much anyway.

It was pretty late, or early depending on who you asked, when I made my way back to my room. I had expected to find Kyp fast asleep in bed but when I entered, all I saw were wrinkled bed sheets but no Kyp.

The room wasn’t big and it took me half a minute to realize that he wasn’t even there. This was after knocking on the fresher door.

Pursing my lips, I turned around and went back into the hall and that’s when I heard his voice. He was whispering, a heated whisper and he was talking way too fast. Walking towards garbled words I couldn’t understand, I tried my best not to make a sound. But since the house was pretty damned old, the floorboards squeaked and Kyp stopped talking.

So I gave up my totally astral approach maneuver. “What are you doing in there?” I asked quietly, stepping up to the com room. There were three separate com stations and each had a privacy bubble that could be activated at will.

The room was usually empty at this time in the night, morning, whatever.

“Made a call back home.” Kyp said and I really didn’t like the way he smirked at me.

“Uh-huh. At –“ I pretended to take a look at a wrist chrono that didn’t exist. “Three o’clock in the morning?”

“Sweetie, it’s midday on Coruscant.” Silvery moonlight fell through the window and caught in his hair. It lay around his shoulders, thick and dark and just beckoning for me to run my fingers through it. Which I did, of course.

I took a step closer and let strands of his hair coil around my finger. “Soraya saw the bracelet.” I said quietly. “How come you didn’t tell me about the five promises?”

He kissed my forehead. “Because I didn’t want to.”

“But –“

“It’s customary to _not_ tell the bride-to-be about the promises before the wedding ceremony. It’s bad luck.”

I frowned. “It’s bad luck to see the bride in her dress before the wedding but –“

“Different world, different customs.” Another kiss on my head and he passed by me and headed into our room.

“Wait.” I hurried after him and closed the door behind me. “Who did you just call?”

I was burning to know. Getting up in the middle of the night reeked of evil secrets.

“Let me ask you something. How come you were wandering out alone?”

I sat down next to Kyp on the bed and made a face. “I wasn’t alone. Soraya was with me.” Kyp only sighed when he heard his grandmother’s name. Otherwise there was no indication at all that he was upset about the memory box. “She tried to talk to you.”

Kyp nodded. “Yes. She did.”

“And?”

He shrugged. “I see no reason to indulge in casual conversation. I don’t know her. She’s a stranger to me just like everyone else on this planet.”

I laid my hand on his arm. “You don’t mean that.” I said quietly, slipping my fingers between his.

“Yes I do.” His eyes were hard when he looked my way. “Let’s not talk about her anymore.” His smile wasn’t real, though. I could tell because it never reached his eyes. I was missing the twinkle.

“Let’s not talk at all.” I said with a little smile. “I’m tired anyway.”

And even though I was very tired, my mind wouldn’t let me sleep. There was too much to think about. The baby, the wedding, Soraya and Kyp.

Good Gods, what a mess.


	41. Chapter 41

“They are driving me _nuts_.” I whispered as the door closed behind me. I leaned against the cool material, palms against the door, arms spread wide. I had to find a way to keep the horde of female wedding crazies as far away from me as possible lest I loose the last bit of my halfway intact mind.   
  
Kyp, seated on the sofa, looked up from his data pad, his eyebrows raised. For the past two days, I was the one being hunted by native women wanting to take measurements for a ridiculously colorful gown that was supposedly a traditional thing worn at occasions such as a union of marriage.  
  
I wasn't about to look like a clown on my wedding day, thank you very much.   
  
I caught the slightest smile on Kyp's face and narrowed my eyes. “Don't you even think about laughing.” I snapped at him, pushing away from the door. I thrust a finger in his direction. “Where have you been anyway? For the past four hours – let me repeat this – four flippin' hours, I've been manhandled by women who want to make me all pretty for the wedding! They keep pulling my hair, poking me while taking measurements for this godawful gown. They want me to wear make-up that would rival a circus act, I swear. I need to hide, Kyp.” I took a deep breath. “Find me a hiding place. Somewhere they won't ever find me.”  
  
My voice took on a high pitched whiny tone as I pleaded for him to find a way out of this mess.   
  
Instead, the man had the audacity to laugh. He laid the data pad on the table and sat back, hands folded on his stomach.   
  
“So great you find this amusing.” I said, scowling while starting to pace the length of our room.   
  
“Why don't you just tell them to stop?”  
  
“Because!” I threw my hands into the air and took a deep breath, hoping it would calm me but it really didn't work. I was still on edge and irritated and not even a dumpster load of chocolate could make me feel better.   
  
“Because what? You have a big mouth, Liz. Use it.”  
  
“I do not have a big mouth!” I gasped at him, placed my hands on my hips and leveled a cold stare on him. I stuttered. “And...and...and if I do, then it's your fault.”  
  
Kyp snorted.   
  
“Hasn't Ahna spoken to you yet? Isn't she crawling up your butt already, explaining all the details what the groom has to do bla bla bla?”  
  
While Soraya had the decency to hold her distance at least half a day, her granddaughter (and Kyp's cousin, who he didn't even know about yet) had taken charge. If persistence had a name, it would be Ahna.   
  
“She tried.” Kyp said. “But I already know all the customs and I've been hiding here for the entire day. And each time someone comes to knock, I ignore it.”  
  
I sat down on the floor and pulled my knees to my chest. I wondered if this was the way Jaina had felt before she got married. Cornered like an animal, not being able to breathe and fearing what came next. I was feeling like this wedding wasn't even about Kyp and myself but for other people wanting to be there. Putting on this great show for a crowd to be left gasping and crying, something to be remembered for years to come.   
  
I thought about home and what my friends were doing. Friends who weren't going to be there for our big day. I couldn't help but wonder if Jag and Jaina had finished with their honeymoon. If they were back home, already working like crazy trying to keep the galaxy from falling apart.   
  
I thought about Nikk and wondered if he was getting himself into trouble again. I would have loved to have him around because with his good-looks and charming ways he would have turned the wedding crazies into puddles of goo long enough for me to escape. And Anja...I sighed when I thought about her. Anja would have made me laugh. Anja would have taken charge and everything would have been wonderful.  
  
I was suddenly overcome with homesickness so fierce that without warning tears clouded my vision. This was my wedding and none of my friends were here. And even though I was at odds with my family, I would have liked them to be here as well.   
  
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. We could have another wedding, I thought to myself. On Coruscant and everyone would be invited and it would be great.   
  
“You know, you're right.” I said after a while, forcing a small smile. “I'm going to tell them that I don't want this.” I sighed. “I guess...I didn't want to disappoint Soraya. She's happy being able to take charge and it's nice seeing her smile.”  
  
The moment I mentioned his grandmother's name, the temperature in the room nearly dropped to zero. I met Kyp's eyes and raised my brows. He was still angry with her, still confused about finding out her identity the way he had. I couldn't blame him but I wished he would put his feelings aside for a moment and simply talk to her.   
  
“Kyp --”  
  
“What part of I-don't-want-to-talk-to-her do you not understand?” He asked slowly, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.   
  
I refrained from rolling my eyes and instead went into professional mode. Pretending that Kyp was a client was actually pretty easy so putting on my best social worker face, I got to my feet and sat down beside him. “Why?”  
  
He gave me a quizzical look. I took his hand into mine and ran a thumb along his knuckles, hoping that this simple gesture would calm him a little. “Why don't you want to talk to her, Kyp?” I asked quietly, making sure my voice was low and even.   
  
Dark green eyes narrowed into slits. “You're kidding, right?”  
  
“About what?”  
  
“Are you seriously trying to pull a therapist move on me?”  
  
“I'm not a therapist. I simply asked you a question.”  
  
“A question I don't want to answer right now.” I let go of my hand and got up but this time I wasn't going to let him off the hook so easily. I followed him, reached out for his arm and pulled him to a stop.   
  
“I want to understand.”  
  
He whirled around and I was taken aback by the sudden anger roiling around him. His usually bright white aura was infused with red strings of anger but he was only letting a portion of it out. It was collecting inside and I knew from experience that if he didn't vent, he was going to explode and I sure as hell didn't want to be near him when he did.   
  
“Understand what, Eliziya?” He raised his voice until he started to yell but I let him. He needed this. ”She knew I was alive. Do you want to understand that she knew I'd survived kriffing Kessel and did nothing to find me? She let me live the life I lived without letting me know that I wasn't alone all this time! Tell me you wouldn't be pissed off just the same.”  
  
I'd already guessed the reason why he hadn't wanted to talk to Soraya but in my opinion, he had to jump over his shadow and simply confront her. It was the only way he could find some peace. “Maybe you should ask her why.”  
  
He frowned at me.   
  
“You're angry and it's totally understandable.”  
  
“Angry is an understatement. I am beyond angry.”  
  
“But you don't know the why of the situation, Kyp. You don't know what went on in her life back then. Did you stop and ask yourself what she went through when she thought her entire family had died? She didn't know about you until years later and she might have been afraid to approach you.”  
  
“Why?” He dragged his hands through his hair and shook his head but he softened his voice and it hurt me to see the pain in his eyes. “Why wouldn't she tell me?”  
  
I shrugged. “If you want answers to your questions, Kyp...you're going to have to talk to her.”  
  
*  
  
“But it's blue.” I frowned at the hologram hovering above the table. I forced a little smile for Ahna's sake even though I wanted to take a thick strand of that blond hair of hers and wrap it around her neck.  
  
“Yes. Blue is the color of love --”  
  
“No. That would be red.”  
  
“Red?” Ahna raised her brows. “Really?”  
  
I pursed my lips and shifted my attention back to the blue gown in the hologram. I didn't like it. Not only because it was blue but because it looked like something a princess would wear.   
  
And me and princess-wear don't match.  
  
“Ahna, I appreciate what you're doing here but --”  
  
“And pearls are traditional for the bride.” She flicked a switch on her data pad and the hologram shifted to an image of pearl earrings and a necklace. I tried not to wrinkle my nose.   
  
“I don't like pearls.”  
  
“They match the gown perfectly.” Ahna went on, completely ignoring my comment. I decided then and there that she was the worst wedding planner ever.   
  
I pushed away from the table and my smile was gone from my face. No more being nice, no more playing these stupid games – my wedding, my rules.   
  
“I don't like blue and I don't like pearls.” I said, leaning forward with my palms planted on the tables' surface.  
  
“But --”  
  
“No buts. I don't want --” My voice trailed off as I lifted my eyes to the window. Kyp was outside. I could just see the top of his tousled head. I smiled and then I laughed to myself because Kyp wasn't alone. Soraya was with him and they were talking.   
  
Finally.

*

I’d never really considered talking and listening to be tiring work. Ahna had taken several hours to explain to me the wedding ceremony, or rather mating ceremony as she put it, such as the people of Deyer celebrated it and my head felt like it was about to explode. 

I now knew that weddings were generally held on the outside since the colonists had a tight connection with nature. Mostly somewhere near the water so the couple could look over the vast ocean and the Gods could bless them with good fortune and happiness. 

I’d told Ahna that I’d be around the following morning to get things sorted with my dress. She was a bit disappointed that I wasn’t going to use the traditional garb and the horrible pearls. Well, tough. My wedding, my rules. Simple as that. 

I wanted something simple yet elegant, something that fit my person, a dress that I felt comfortable in. I had a feeling it was going to be complicated finding a match. But I wasn’t going to lose hope.

Throughout the entire day I hadn’t seen or heard from Kyp. I was relieved to know that he’d finally found that place within his heart to have a talk with Soraya. His anger and disappointment towards her would abate with time, I was sure of it. Tiny steps to get to where he needed to be. I was insanely proud that he’d managed to take that first little baby step. 

As the evening grew darker, I slowly crawled up the stairs in the guesthouse to our suite. Reaching out with my senses, a flicker of hope appeared in the center of my chest. I wanted to see Kyp but I couldn’t feel his presence, at least not in our rooms. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and brushed along his mind. 

He didn’t respond. 

Irritated, I mumbled under my breath while I walked up the stairs. I stopped and turned around, wondering if there was still someone in the kitchen but I thought better of it because I was feeling a bit nauseous. Almost instantaneously, my hands wandered to my belly. Again I drew on the Force, probing the tiny little life growing within me. 

I smiled. 

My little boy was doing just fine. 

It was then I realized that I hadn’t even told Kyp about the dream I’d had when I’d knocked my head on that stupid rock at the beach. I wasn’t even sure if it had been a dream or not. 

I’m very careful when it comes to these Force visions but I’d like to believe that the boy I’d seen was the little one we’d be greeting with open arms in just a few months. I could hardly wait.

And still I was afraid. Afraid of the future. We’d basically packed our stuff and run away after the ordeal with Vance and even though I knew he was locked up, I also knew that his friend and associate was still out there. I won’t ever forget that crazy look in his eyes when he knocked me against the wall, when he covered me with his big body.

I shuddered and tried to shake the images. The thought of Coruscant, the thought of my home, made me fear for my safety and for the safety of my child. 

I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go home anymore.

Taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself, I turned on my heel and headed up the stairs. As I reached the door to our suite, I felt a familiar tingle running along my spine. Kyp was somewhere close by but I couldn’t really pinpoint his position. He was intentionally scrambling his presence.

At least he was on his way back. 

I raised my hand to open the door when I was tugged back suddenly. A heavy arm wrapped around my shoulder while the other went around my waist. I laughed quietly as Kyp opened himself to the Force, pouring light into our bond. It was like jumping into a pool of warm water when our minds connected on that level that only lovers are able to do. He kissed my neck, running his lips to my shoulder and collar bone. 

“I missed you.” He whispered, fingers lightly finding their way to the hem of my shirt. “So much.”

I turned my head upwards and he captured my lips in a warm kiss. I reached up and ran my fingers through his hair, deepening the kiss as I did so. And just like that he broke off, the edges of his mouth lifting into a slight smile. He kissed my nose, my eyes and my forehead before he spoke again. “I want to take a shower before I make love to you to.” He ran the pad of his thumb along my lower lip. “Join me.”

Sure as hell wasn’t going to say no.


	42. Chapter 42

I felt more than saw that Kyp was at peace. More so than he’d been in some time. It was like the burden of this knowledge about is family, about his roots, had been lifted from his shoulders. He was free from that part of his past by having answers to his questions, by learning where he came from, by knowing who he belonged to.

While he made love to me, our minds connected and he gave me access to his thoughts and feelings, his hopes and his dreams. He whispered beautiful and sweet nothings while he kissed me, caressed me until all that I knew was the way our bodies and minds were merged.

But even at the height of this wonderful and beautiful joining, I felt a flicker of fear. Fear of the future, fear of being a father.

We were on the same page. The thought of caring for such a precious life was daunting and frankly it scared the kriff out of me. But I knew without a doubt that we’d manage. No matter what, we would get through it because we had each other.

I lay my head on his chest, listening to his quiet breathing while he held me close. Just two more days until the ceremony, two more days until my last name would officially be Durron. After all these years, it was almost hard to believe that we’d made it this far. After all the crap we’d had to go through, the ups and downs, splitting up during the war, finding one another again in the most unlikely of places and now, finally, settling down as a couple.

Well, as much as you can settle down when the man you love is a Jedi Master.

My soon-to-be husband.

“We’ve come pretty damned far, haven’t we?” I said, taking his hand into mine.

“Yeah. We have.” He said softly and kissed the top of my head. “And there’s still a long road ahead, Eliziya. And I’m grateful that you’re the one who’s walking this path with me.”

For a long while we didn’t say anything at all, just enjoyed one another’s comforting company. I was lost in my own thoughts, looking forward to what was to come. Would we be going home after our stay on Deyer was up? Would we make ourselves a new home on a different planet? How much would things change when it was widely known that Master Durron was not only married but expecting a child?

I decided that these were questions we’d deal with when the time was right.

And this was certainly not the time.

I sat up and turned to face him. “It’s a boy.”

He blinked a few times before he sat up. I wasn’t sure if he wanted to frown or smile but I felt and heard the awe in his voice. “How do you know?”

I kissed him before answering. “Because I dreamt of him.” Another kiss. “I dreamt of our beautiful little boy.”

*

“I’ve never seen such an ugly piece of cloth before.”

The saleswoman, an elderly human with curly blond hair, stared at me with a look on her face that more or less told me I was a lost cause. Maybe I was because the past few dresses she’d shown me were hideous. No matter how many times I told her that I wanted a simple gown in a warm color, she kept bringing me things that hurt my eyes.

“You’re from a city, aren’t you?” She asked while snatching the dress from my hands.

“What’s that got to do with anything?”

“Spoiled.”

I gaped at her and then frowned. She’d just insulted me, hadn’t she? Well, excuse me for wanting to look somewhat decent for the most important day of my life. And there was no way in the Nine Corellian Hells that I was going to wear a circus tent to my wedding.

I cleared my throat and kept my anger controlled. It wouldn’t do me any good if I got loud with the woman, even though I wanted to.

“I am not spoiled.” I said evenly, my voice calm. “I just have a different taste, that’s all.” Given that I rarely ever wear fancy clothing, at least this time I wanted to go all out. “This is my wedding day. And I don’t like dresses in general but for this day I’m going to make an exception. This dress has to be absolutely perfect and all these colorful gowns just aren’t going to do it.”

“I also showed you several white –“

“Yes, frilly white gowns my grandmother would have liked. Thank you but no.” I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. Back home I’d just go take a look at a different shop and back home I’d have Anja to help because she’s the fashion freak, but here on a colony world I didn’t have much of an alternative. Most of the clothing was ordered in advance and tailor made. I didn’t have the time anymore so I had to work with what the shop offered.

Which wasn’t much.

I glanced aside at Soraya who seemed to be enjoying herself a little too much. Her smile, a perpetual evil little lift of her lips, had been in place since we’d entered the shop. She seemed so much more at peace after having talked with Kyp, as if this giant weight had finally lifted off her shoulders.

“Green would suit you well.” She said. “It would match your skin tone wonderfully. And the color would go well with the bracelet.”

I lifted my wrist and played with the jade promise stones. I could maybe work with green.

Maybe.

“Do you have a green gown?” I sighed.

*

I escaped the guest house just in time. Soraya was busy getting the place ready for the wedding. She planned a huge dinner party for the guests, which got me thinking – who in the world had this woman invited?

I didn’t mind, though. The only thing that was important to me was being with Kyp. It was still kind of hard to believe that after all this time we’d finally be tying the knot. After all we’d been through, all those ups and downs…I was overwhelmed and happy at the same time.

I could see the guest house from where I stood on a stone bridge that ran above the city towards the beach. The view was marvelous from up here especially since the sun was setting. Oranges and reds with different shades of gold.

In all honesty I truly liked this world. And for a quiet moment I wondered if we could live here. It would be calm and peaceful and away from the center of the galaxy. News of wars wouldn’t reach us here, news of which politician messed up where didn’t matter here. These people looked out for one another and they did it well.

But could we be happy here? Could Kyp be happy here?

I took a deep breath and thought about the baby. It was a perfect world to raise a child. But most of the inhabitants were older. There were only a handful of children. And our baby would be Force sensitive, wouldn’t it? In all likelihood anyway. He’d need guidance and as much as I knew Kyp would do a splendid job, it would be better our child had a Master at his side who wasn’t his father.

“What are you doing out here all alone?”

I turned around and smiled as Kyp approached. He wrapped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck, placing small kisses beneath my ear. “Just thinking.”

“About what?”

I shrugged. “Stuff.”

“What kind of stuff?”

I turned around in his arms and started running my fingers down his chest. He was wearing a khaki colored tunic I hadn’t seen before. It looked nice on him though. With his hair open and falling to his shoulders, he seemed like an average native with no Jedi background at all. I lifted my head and took in his handsome features. Laugh lines around his mouth and eyes gave him that special touch of youthfulness and when he smiled it took me back to that first time we met, all those years ago, more or less by chance.

But was it really by chance? Or had something else been at work?

Was this destiny?

“All kinds of stuff.” I said quietly. “What will happen next, Kyp? Will we go home? Stay here?”

“Ossus.” He said, gently brushing strands of hair from my face. “We’re not heading to Coruscant just yet.”

“What about here?” I hugged him close and laid my head on his chest. “Life here would be easy.”

“True.” He took his time to answer. “But there’s nothing here for us, Liz. I could train our child in the Force but what future could there possibly be here for him?” He shrugged. “The two of us – hell, this would be an amazing place to live. But not with a Force sensitive child.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. “I’m afraid, Kyp. I’m really really scared of the future.”

Kyp pulled back and held me at arms’ length. I expected a reassuring smile but there wasn’t one. His look was firm and absolutely serious. “So am I, sweetheart. Doesn’t mean that we can’t do it. We’ll make this work because that’s what we do.”

I turned aside and looked across the city to the vast blue ocean. “Ossus then?”

“Yes. For the time being. Until things on Coruscant are straightened out.”

“Straightened out how?”

He kissed my forehead. “I’ll deal with Vance and his associates. When the matter’s resolved, we’ll think about going back. It’s too dangerous right now.”

“Yes but –“ He kissed me softly, perfect way to shut me up.

We held each other for a long while, watching as the sun disappeared behind the horizon. As the first stars twinkled in the sky, I realized that it would only be a few more hours until the wedding.

“Have fun in town today?” Kyp asked and I heard in his voice that he already knew the answer.

I lifted my head and glowered at him. “Soraya told you?”

“Yeah.”

“And where were you all day, by the way?”

“I had things to do.”

“What kind of things?”

He kissed me again, took my hand and led me down the bridge back to the guest house. “Kyp. What kind of things?”

“Come on, babe.”

Of course he didn’t give me an answer.


	43. Chapter 43

I didn’t recognize the guest house when we entered. All the plants and little decorations had been removed and even sections of the walls were gone. The dining room could now hold up to a hundred people, if not even more. Several tables stood along the walls, beautifully decorated with crystal goblets, shiny silverware and breathtaking flowers that smelled like redberries.

“Wow.” I breathed as I entered with Kyp at my side.

“Yeah. Soraya’s pretty much enjoying herself.”

“I can’t believe she did all this.”

“With my help.” Ahna turned a corner and shot me a lazy grin. Petite and utterly adorable, I’d come to like her a great deal. “While you were out shopping for a gown, I started decorating the place. We’re not entirely finished yet. It’ll be a surprise for tomorrow. You should see the beach! Soraya had a wonderful idea for the ceremony and –“

“Ahna.” Kyp said in that tone reserved for students who didn’t do as they were told.

“Yes, of course. It’s a surprise.”

I pursed my lips. “It’s not fair, you know. Kyp knows all these plans but I don’t have a clue.” I sighed but let the matter drop. I didn’t want to ruin anything for them after all the planning they’d gone through. “I don’t even know how to thank you.” I said instead, placing a hand on Ahna’s shoulder.

“No thanks needed.” Ahna came closer and focused on Kyp. “You brought Kyp back home. That’s thanks enough.”

An awkward silence ensued that Kyp gratefully disturbed by clearing his throat. “Soraya’s invited us to dinner.” He said, laying his arm around my shoulders and squeezing just a bit.

“Oh, great. More food.” I tried to be enthusiastic, I really did. But the mere thought of food made me sick. My stomach was still on the fritz and I couldn’t be sure how much I could hold without having to run to the nearest fresher.

“Are you not feeling well?” Ahna asked, concern evident in her voice.

I bit my tongue. I wanted to blurt out the news but Kyp and I had agreed not to. At least not yet. “I caught a stomach bug.” I said.

Ahna raised a blond eyebrow and she smiled slightly, as if she knew I was lying. “Perhaps you’d like to see the Healer?”

“Nope.” I smacked my lips. I so did not want to see another Doctor again.  “When’s dinner?”

*

I helped Ahna set one of the larger tables and frowned when she returned from the kitchen carrying seven plates. “You’re having more guests?”

“Yes. My father will be joining us. As well as a few close friends. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Of course not.”

A few minutes later we were finished and I was pretty happy with the result. The table looked like something out of an expensive hotel.

“May I ask a question?” Ahna stepped closer, tucking strands of straight blond hair behind her ear.

“Sure. Go ahead.” I could sense that she was a little apprehensive, that whatever she wanted to ask was either personal or just made her generally uncomfortable. Human curiosity is such a wonderful thing.

“I…” I noted how she fidgeted with the hem of her tunic. “Sometimes I sense things.”

I raised my brows. “How do you mean?”

“I know when someone lies to me, for example. I also know when a storm is about to hit the city. Soraya says it’s a family thing. Like with Kyp.”

“You’re Force sensitive.”

“Is that what it’s called?” Ahna blushed fiercely.

“It’s nothing to be worried about, sweetie. It’s a gift.”

“Some people are afraid of me because of this so called gift.” Her voice dropped a level and I realized that she resented the fact that she could do things others could not. I completely understood that it’s damned difficult to be different; I’d gone through the same ordeal when I was her age, having a mother who treated me like garbage because I had inherited Force sensitivity from my father.

“Have you talked to Kyp? He’s a Jedi Master. He can help you.”

She shrugged. “Perhaps some other time. But…what I’ve been meaning to ask…” Again she fidgeted. “I sense life around you.”

Aw crap.

Not what I wanted to hear.

I swallowed. “Life?”

Ahna nodded. “Yes. A second heartbeat.”

I grabbed onto the chair in front of me, squeezing the cold wood until my knuckles turned white. I took a breath and let it out slowly. “You sensed correctly. But Ahna please keep this to yourself. It’s very important.”

“But this is amazing news! Why wouldn’t you –“

“Do you know why we came here, Ahna?”

She paused and thought for a moment. “I…no, I don’t.”

I told her the entire story. Every little detail and it felt wonderful to let it all go, to let it all out. It was oddly painful going back to what Vance had done, having to deal with his craziness but then I realized that I also felt _sorry_ for the guy. He’d lost his life – his wife and his sons – and just hadn’t been able to cope with it. But who wouldn’t lose their mind after everything is taken away?

“I really have to ask you to keep this to yourself, sweetie.” I said after a while. “I’m afraid the wrong people will hear. And our life is very complicated as it is. And it’ll get even more complicated the moment the general public knows that Master Durron has married. Imagine what would happen if they also found out he was having a child?”

“Your world sounds like a dangerous place.”

I sighed. “It is, Ahna. It truly is.”

*

The first dinner guest was Ahna’s father.

When he entered the guest house, he took off his coat and laid it aside on the receptionist counter. He was a tall, broad man in his early seventies. His hair, cut short, was grey with a few strands of dark brown. And when he turned around and I could see his face clearly, I gaped.

The resemblance to Kyp was uncanny. The same facial features, the same eyes, the same straight nose.

Ahna hugged him closely, kissed both his cheeks. “Father. I’m happy you made it.”

“I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” His voice was deep and scratchy, as if he’d had too many glasses of brandy in his youth. He turned around and walked towards me, extending a hand as he did so. “You must be Eliziya. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

“Really?” I shook his hand. “I hope only good things, of course.”

“My name is Sol. It’s truly a pleasure to meet you.”

I couldn’t stop staring. This man was an older version of Kyp. And I didn’t have to wait long for Kyp to appear, either. I heard his heavy footsteps running down the stairs. He entered, saw me and smiled. Then his eyes wandered to Ahna and then to Sol.

Kyp stopped dead in his tracks, his face utterly expressionless. It was like looking in a mirror to his future. But he caught himself quickly, cleared his throat and – thank the Force! – remembered his manners. “Hello.” He said, shaking Sol’s hand. “I suppose you know who I am.”

“Indeed.” Sol didn’t let go of Kyp’s hand. Instead, he pulled hard and suddenly wrapped Kyp in his arms. “You’re my nephew.”

*

Dinner was served about an hour later.

I helped Ahna and Soraya with the food while Kyp and Sol talked. I knew Kyp would fill me in later. This was his moment, his time with his family. And now I was certain that it was the best damned decision to come here and get away from the center of chaos for a while.

The food smelled delicious, even though I had no clue what the stuff was. I recognized desert though. Guess chocolate is the same where ever you are. And there were cookies, which Kyp was already munching on.

There was some sort of meat dish and vegetables and different kinds of salad. And also a huge bowl of fruit in some sort of sugary syrup stuff. I knew I’d go for the plain rice. My stomach could handle the plain.

As we were about to take our seats, Kyp trying to hide his smile because the man was truly happy, we heard the door to the guest house open. It was pretty late and according to Soraya she rarely had guests. But as I looked around the table, I noted that we’d laid out plates for seven people, so two were still missing.

“What’s a guy gotta do to get some service around here?”

My heart nearly stopped. I’d recognize that voice anywhere. I hurriedly ran around the table, trying my best not to run. Nikk grinned at me in that stupid way I’d grown so accustomed to over the years. He dropped his bags to the floor with a thump. And before I knew it, I jumped the idiot and hugged him like a crazy woman.

“I see you’ve missed me.”

“What are you doing here?” I asked, fighting tears.

“Do you honestly think I’d miss my best friends’ wedding? You must be out of your damned mind, woman.”

I let go of him as the door opened again. I heard Kyp and Nikk greet each other, calling one another names because they’re stupid like that. When Anja walked over the threshold, carrying two sets of amazingly heavy bags and pushing another bag with her foot, I wanted to scream my happiness to the world.

“Nikk, you moron. I could use a little help here, you know!”

“You’re the one who insisted on bringing along all that girly crap. Not my business.”

I couldn’t help it.

I stood there and, like a girl, I started to cry.


	44. Chapter 44

The emotions packed inside the dining room made me dizzy. It was similar to the feeling you get when a dozen people have used too much perfume or cologne and you can’t open a window in time before you pass the hell out.

I sat beside Kyp at the dining table, fingering my empty glass while everyone else around me was talking. I’d just finished my third glass of [insert berry name here] juice, a popular drink with the children in the colony. According to Ahna the secret ingredient was the spider honey Kyp had introduced me to when we’d first arrived on Deyer. I looked into the empty glass and swirled the last drop around by twisting my wrist. The silver bracelet gently clanged against it.

Soraya had outdone herself with dinner but I still couldn’t get myself to eat anything. Honestly, who in my position would be able to eat? So I grabbed the pitcher of juice and poured yet another glass while Anja, sitting opposite me, gave me a narrowed eyed look I had no chance of escaping.

“What’s up with you?” She asked.

I was overwhelmed that she and Nikk were here. Of all the things I’d expected, Anja showing up hadn’t been one of them. Since the wedding had been so short notice, I’d accepted that none of my friends would be there to share in this wonderful occasion but Kyp had surprised me yet again. All those times he’d been away “taking care of something” or “getting something done”, using the com console in the middle of the night he’d truly been making sure that our wedding would be an unforgettable day.

If Anja and Nikk had shown up, who else had Kyp invited short notice?

“What do you mean?” I asked, setting the pitcher down and going for my glass again.

“You seem different.”

I was the same as always. Well, the fact aside that I was now with child. Otherwise, I was just plain old me.

Anja, on the other hand, had changed greatly. She’d cut her hair short, spiky and all over the place, and dyed it a light blond. I was used to Anja changing her appearance on a regular basis but I’d never seen her blond before. It looked…different. There was a harder edge to her persona now, something you’d expect to see on someone who’d been through a life altering experience.

Unless, of course, she had…

“What happened to you, Anja?” She blinked, surprised that I shot her question right back. “You usually don’t change your hairstyle just for the hell of it.”

Anja stuffed a spoonful of vegetables into her mouth and quietly chewed. She avoided looking at me but I was patient. I’d wait it out. Eventually, she’d open up and tell me what had happened in her life while Kyp and I had been out here having a vacation.

I felt bad about that. We’d basically let them carry the burden back home on Coruscant while we ran away. What kind of friends does that make us?

I looked up to say as much to Anja, to apologize because what ever had happened, it felt like it was my fault. But Anja shook her head, lips pressed together in a fine line, eyes narrowed even more. “Don’t you even think about it.”

Fine.

I turned my attention to Kyp and Nikk, goofing around at the table like adolescents. It was nice seeing Kyp so…free. And when the two of them weren’t calling each other stupid names, they managed a decent conversation with Sol. He turned out to be a wonderful and highly interesting man. He ran a wholesale liquor business on a planet in the Outer Rim, export and import with native beverages. Some sort of fancy wine and extraordinarily expensive whisky the high society on Coruscant seemed to favor. Not my cup of tea so I barely followed the conversation. But when Sol cleared his throat and shot Soraya a small smile, I listened. “Your parents were wonderful people, Kyp.” He said quietly, taking Soraya’s hand and squeezing. “Has mother told you about your father?”

Instantly all eyes were on Kyp. I could tell that he felt uncomfortable. The spotlight was on him from each and every angle and everyone at the table was awaiting his answer. “We haven’t had the chance.”

Sol smiled. “Of course. You have a big day ahead of you tomorrow.” He held up his half empty tumbler. “To a bright and prosperous future.”

After glasses clinked and the words were repeated, Kyp focused back on his uncle he hadn’t even known existed until this day. “Tell me about him.”

I took Kyp’s free hand into mine and slipped my fingers between his. He squeezed back and it was the reassurance he needed. I was there for him, I was always going to be there for him, no matter what. Through our bond I sensed that he was anxious and afraid, excited and happy, all sorts of emotions coiled up into a tight colorful ball.

Much, much stronger than usual.

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out on a sigh. How in the world could Kyp keep up with this? He was an empath so he had to deal with this kind of emotional overload on a daily basis. Sucking in individual feelings without even wanting to and then having to sift through it all to make sure that your own feelings were truly your own.

“My brother was a fine man.” Sol said and he immediately had Kyp’s attention. “He was strict in his ways but he was kind and fair. He never took no for an answer and he fought for what he believed in. As did your mother.”

I closed my eyes and tried to block the onslaught of emotions about to get the better of me. I felt like someone had opened a faucet and I was slowly drowning in the thickness of it all. What the hell was going on?

I slipped my hand from Kyp’s grasp and pushed away from the table. I needed air, badly. I knew they were looking at me and I heard them ask if everything was alright but their voices were very, very far away all of a sudden. Ringing in my ears, breath sawing in and out of my lungs, I stumbled to the door.

And just in time.

The moment I breathed in the cool salty air, I bent over and emptied my stomach.

*

I sat on the stairs in front of the guest house a while later, head in my hands, feeling like a Bantha had run me over twice and then decided to play a ball game with its friends with my no longer functioning body.

“Did you eat?” Kyp asked while he rubbed my back. I felt beyond awful for ruining the evening like this. Kyp was supposed to be inside with his family, not out here taking care of the woman who puked up half her organs.

“No.” I wiped stupid tears from my cheeks and took a quivering breath. I was shaking from head to toe and the worst thing – I didn’t know why. “And I’m not going to.”

“Eliziya, I’m worried about you. Soraya’s offered to com the Doctor.”

“No.” Another deep breath, another quick prayer to whoever was listening that I would be back to my normal self soon enough. “Maybe this is normal, Kyp. It’s not like I’ve been pregnant before.” I kept my voice low, knowing that Anja was standing behind us at the door and that Nikk wasn’t too far away either. “Maybe it was something in the juice?”

“The Doc could figure it out.”

“No!” I raised my voice, irritated that he wouldn’t simply respect my decision to not see yet another medic. I knew he was concerned but I also knew that there was nothing to be worried about. I was going to be fine.

Hopefully.

“Child.” I turned around as Soraya slowly walked down the steps. She cradled a mug in her hands filled with what looked and smelled like tea. “Drink this.”

“What is it?”

“It will calm your nerves.” She smiled warmly as I accepted the mug. The herbs smelled strong, a mixture between something sweet and spicy. It wasn’t all together uncomfortable but it sure wasn’t something I’d want to drink on a regular basis. “You’re strung out my dear.” Soraya continued. “Nervous and excited because of your wedding and, of course, frightened of the future.”

I arched an eyebrow. “How do you mean?” And it was pretty scary how easily she’d nailed it.

Soraya smiled _knowingly_. But she didn’t answer my question. “Drink up, my dear. You’ll feel better in no time.”

Kyp and I were alone a few moments later. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. “I’m sorry I ruined the evening.”

“You didn’t.”

“Yes, I did. You could be in there having a great talk with your uncle.” I sat up again and faced him. “In fact, you should go inside and have that talk. Right now.”

“And leave you out here alone?”

“Yeah, because there are kidnappers right around the corner, right?”

“Eliziya –“

“Go inside, Kyp. I’ll drink my tea and join you in a bit.”

He went back to rubbing my shoulders and my back. “Why not come inside now?”

I shook my head. The answer was pretty simple. The moment I sat back down at that table with everyone else, I’d start sensing their feelings and I’d be right back out here. When I told Kyp about this, he frowned. “This has never been one of your abilities.”

“Nope.” I took a small sip from the mug and forced myself to swallow the vile tasting brew. “And I’m glad because I’d have already lost my mind. How do you do it, Kyp?”

“Training and more training…” His voice trailed off. “Is there anything else going on? Anything you can’t explain?”

“Like this isn’t enough?” I forced another sip down my throat but this time I made a face and nearly spit it back out.

“It’s not one of your abilities…”

“You’ve already established this.”

“Liz.” He smiled at me, which made me wonder if he’d had something to drink or not. Was this a smiling situation? I think not. “What if it’s the baby?”

I frowned at him. “How so?”

He lowered his voice. “If it’s a Force sensitive child, maybe you’re getting flashes of what the baby will be able to do when it’s born. It’s definitely a possibility.”

Did I like this possibility? Not so much. Imagining this child going through various types of Force abilities and using me as a play ground – I didn’t like it at all.

“When we get to Ossus we’ll have the Healers look into it, alright?” Kyp squeezed my shoulder and I shrugged.

I couldn’t summon the strength to care.


	45. Chapter 45

I insisted quite loudly that Kyp spend the remainder of the evening hanging out with his new guy friends. Soraya’s herbal tea made me feel near human again so I retired to our room with Anja. She pretended to be her normal self but something was wrong. And I didn’t need the Force to notice it, either.

A sixth sense among friends, I suppose.

“I went to your place to grab a few of your things.” Anja grimaced. “We need to go shopping, by the way. But…um…your brother left a few messages.” Anja said while she dropped one of the bags on my bed. “You didn’t tell him you were leaving?”

“Didn’t think he needed to know. We’re not really close.” I sat back on the sofa with my feet up on the table. Usually something I didn’t do because feet generally do not belong on a table but I was simply too tired. I felt drained, like someone had opened a faucet and all the energy was running out. “Was there something specific he wanted?”

I closed my eyes and listened to Anja unzip the bags she brought along. “Not sure. He asked for you to return his calls as soon as possible. It sounded pretty urgent.” She lowered her voice, cleared her throat, which suddenly had all sorts of alarm bells going off in the back of my head. There was something in the way she spoke, something in the timbre of her voice that was simply off.

“What aren’t you telling me?”

Anja snorted. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.” She shook her head and threw an empty bag back onto the floor. From where I sat I couldn’t really make out what she’d unpacked but it looked like something glossy and shimmery, something utterly girly. Inwardly, I cringed.

“Stop lying, woman.” I raised my voice just a little. Enough with the games, enough with the subterfuge. “You can’t lie worth crap and you know it. And especially not to me.”

She turned to face me and heaved a heavy sigh. She seemed tired, on edge and basically completely drained. Up until now she had kept up the façade of _I’m-okay_ but she shed the mask and let herself fall onto the bed. “Eliziya, I –“

I raised my brows. She never called me by my full name.

Never.

“There were more messages besides Kyrian’s.” She continued.

“And?” I tried keeping my temper in check. I just hate having to poke for information. “Go on, dammit.”

“There were a few messages left by some guy.”

Instantly my heart started beating faster. I could feel it in my throat. My fingers shook and I balled my hand into a tight fist. “What did he say?”

“Stuff I really don’t want to repeat right now. He wasn’t nice about it, let’s put it that way.”

I didn’t want to get upset, especially not on the evening before my wedding. I dropped my feet back to the floor and sat forward, elbows on my knees. I took deep, steadying breaths and kept telling myself, like a mantra over and over again, _watch that temper, watch that temper, watch that temper._

“What did he say, Anja?”

“Liz, can’t this wait? Tomorrow’s your big day, sweetheart. Let’s not ruin your last evening  –”

“What. Did. He. Say.” I wasn’t going to play around with her. I wanted answers. Period.

“He said he’s going to finish what _he_ started.” Anja shrugged. “He kept stressing _he_ and it sounded like a crazed religious freak, you know? Like he was talking about some God. Only with a few more choice words, if you get my meaning. It was pretty damned scary. All the messages were the same and – I don’t know. There was something wrong with his voice.” She worried her lip a little. “Creepy son of a sith. Do you know who he is?”

I nodded. “I have a pretty good idea.” I rubbed my eyes and just tried hard not to think. Which didn’t work of course. Trying to create emptiness in my mind just made me think of Vance and his ugly, smiling face, who I knew was locked away. But it shouldn’t have surprised me that the maniac still had his feelers out, still had control over those who were loyal to him.

Would they finish what Vance had started?

I swallowed a growing lump in my throat. I hated going back to those few days when Vance had me imprisoned like an animal, when he had Daire – who I was certain left those messages – do the dirty work. The bruises he’d left on my body had healed but just thinking about him made said invisible bruises ache again.

“You know what?” I said, getting to my feet and running a hand through my hair. “Let’s not deal with this now.” Because once I started I knew I wouldn’t stop.

Anja made a face. “Didn’t I say that?”

I ignored her comment and gestured to my bed. “Is that a dress?”

“Yep.” Anja smacked her lips. “It’s a dress. I wasn’t sure if you’d find a gown here –“

“Not so much.”

“—so before Nikk and I left, I went to this little boutique and grabbed it.” Anja held it up against the light. It was a beautiful dress, I had to admit. Not necessarily something I’d buy for myself because I liked it simple but for the occasion it was perfect.

“It’s green.” I laughed. Green seemed to be the new color.

“I chose green on purpose.” Anja said. “Rendering homage to Kyp’s family.”

I blinked. “Huh?”

“Well, adoptive family. Han’s from Corellia, right? And green is Corellia’s color. And Han is his surrogate Dad so I thought the color would fit nicely.”

“Wow, Anja.” I smiled at her, honestly surprised. “You put a lot of thought into this.”

“Here.” Anja gently took the dress in both hands and turned my way. “Try it on.”

It looked like stars had been woven into the soft fabric of the bodice. The silky pale green skirt slipped over my fingers like a warm waterfall. A gauzy secondary skirt was gathered slightly to the right and pinned with three green flowers. And even though flowers are not necessarily a fashion statement I agree with, it actually looked pretty nice. Two more flowers on the left shoulder completed the gown.

“I’ve never worn anything like this before.” I said, pursing my lips. “You think this’ll look nice?”

“Of course it will!”

“Do you think Kyp will like it?” I asked quietly.

Anja nearly smacked me for that question. “He isn’t a blind moron, you know. Of course he’ll like it. Now try it on!”

*

A while later, I snuck into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of white wine from the cooling unit. I heard the men still quietly talking in the adjacent room. A part of me wanted to walk in and simply give my husband-to-be a quick hug but I chose not to disturb them. They were so preoccupied that Kyp didn’t even notice my presence. So who was I to interrupt?

Up in our room, Anja sat on the floor with her datapad and a stack of datacards at her side. I set the bottle of wine on the table, along with two glasses. One I filled with wine, the other I filled with sparkling water.

“What are you looking at?” I asked, sitting down cross-legged next to her and handing her the glass of wine.

She took it and gestured to a few pictures on the screen. With the press of a button, the 2D image popped up above the datapad, a colorful hologram of a woman with amazing hair. “I think you could make this work.” Anja said.

I raised my brows. The hairstyle was beautiful, yes, and it involved a whole lot of pins and curls and glittery stuff. “I was hoping to keep it simple.”

“You can’t keep it simple when you’re wearing a non-simple dress, Liz.”

I sighed and didn’t comment any further. But there was a little something that was still bugging me. “Speaking of hair – why’d you cut yours?”

Anja shrugged. She’s always been proud of her long wavy curls so the fact that she’d cut it was like waving a red flag in my face.

“Just because.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Anja sighed and set the datapad aside. She took her wine glass in one delicate hand and held it to her lips but she didn’t drink. She stared ahead at nothing in particular, thinking. After a moment of silence she said, “I lost the moon while I was looking at the stars, Liz.”

I frowned. “Pardon?”

“Nikk.” She sighed. “I like him, Liz. I like him a lot. But I was too afraid to tell him. I imagined what it would be like with him, you know? I imagined a lot of things with Nikk but I never acted on what my heart wanted.”

“And?” I prompted.

“The moment passed. I lost the moon while staring at the stars.” She blinked and drank her glass empty in one go. “He hooked up with some other girl. And when I saw them together I realized I needed to change something. Anything. So I started with the hair.”

I didn’t know what to say. Was it even my place to say anything?

“You should talk to him.” I said after a while. “He might not know how you feel.”

“Wouldn’t make a difference.” Anja set the glass on the table and picked up a datacard, shoving it into the appropriate slot in her datapad. “Nikk, as we all know, has a huge mouth. So if he’d have any kind of feelings for me, he’d have said so already.”

I sighed.

Obviously, Anja didn’t know Nikk at all.  


	46. Chapter 46

** The Wedding **

The woman in the mirror was beautiful.  
  
Dark curls framed her face and an elegant glass tiara sat atop her head. Small green and white pearls were festooned to a few strands of hair, subtle make-up brightened her features and white jewels sparkled in her earlobes and around her slender neck.  
  
The beautiful gown that Anja brought as a gift fit her perfectly, tight around the chest yet flowing around the legs and the different hues of spring green made her glow.  
  
Unbelievably, this woman in the mirror was me.  
  
“You look amazing.” Soraya said as she handed me a bouquet of freshly cut flowers held together by a thick green ribbon to fit the color scheme. She took my hand and touched the promise bracelet around my wrist, her smile so radiant it lit up the pavilion that was set up on the beach.  
  
I glanced at a time piece atop the dressing table. Just a few more minutes before I would walk along a stretch of white velvet carpet to where my husband-to-be awaited me.  
  
“Thank you.” I whispered, closing my eyes and raising the bouquet to my nose. I breathed in deeply, once, twice, three times. I was nervous and yet at the same time I knew that there was no reason to be.  
  
“I knew this day would come.” As Anja spoke I turned to face her. She looked lovely in a dark blue satin gown with twinkling jewels adorning her wrists and neck. I imagined that maybe someday Anja would be in my place and Nikk at her side. All they had to do was discard the stupid stubborness and open up their eyes and  _see_. “You doubted it, didn’t you?” She said.  
  
I shrugged. “Maybe a little. We had more downs than ups so you can’t really blame me.” And wasn't that the understatement of the millennium.  
  
She was silent as she approached on bare feet. “Destiny doesn’t care about ups and downs, sweetie. The two of you, you’re meant for each other.” She took my hand and squeezed while I tried not to raise a questioning eyebrow. Since when did Anja go down the romantic and mushy path?  
  
I smiled awkwardly but then I sighed. At some point you just have to accept what's right in front of you. Because although I was never one to believe in things such as fate and destiny, I found myself agreeing with her. In my heart I knew that it was true. Whatever life threw at us we mastered it. Either apart or together we always found our way, we made it around obstacles and difficulties and our destination had always been Deyer, had always been this day.  
  
I took another deep breath and silently took a look around the pavilion. The wedding was held on the beach where sun and water kiss the sand. To get ready for this big day, as is tradition on Deyer, Kyp and I got dressed separately. I hadn't seen him in over twenty four hours and I was damned curious. I turned to the exit, moved the flap aside and I saw him with Nikk.  
  
The mere sight of him took my breath away. “He looks like a King.” I said, sighing like a love struck teenager. Dressed in off white linen pants and tunic, he wore his dark, almost black, hair open and it touched his shoulders in thick waves. Along his forehead I saw a thin strap of leather and in its center a white stone, a family relic and a traditional headpiece for the groom.  
  
“And so he should.” Soraya said as she stood beside me. “Because today he is King. And you are his Queen.” She took my hand and the silver bracelet with the promise stones jingled softly. “United you will stand before the Goddess and receive her blessings.”  
  
“He doesn't believe in the Goddess.” I said quietly.  
  
Soraya shrugged. “Goddess or the Force...it's all the same to me.”  
  
I didn't answer. Instead I shifted my attention to the guests waiting for the procession to begin. I was astounded and surprised for so many had arrived. My brother Kyrian and his wife Sera, their twins and the new little boy who I had yet to meet. Han Solo and Leia seated at the front along with Jaina and Jag and a small entourage of security men clad in lovely suits that fit the occasion. Kyp's uncle Sol and his cousin Ahna were at the very front with a woman I presumed was Ahna's mother. Also, half the village had assembled and all seats were taken, all one hundred and fifty of them.  
  
It took a long moment for me to recognize her but my mother, regal and proud with her head held high, sat beside my brother. Within that long moment it felt like the world had stopped, sucked in a breath and held it and everything just stopped. Her black hair hung over her shoulders and clashed against the white of the chair. I couldn't remember the last time I saw her with her hair down. I swallowed. I didn't expect to see her here, I didn't believe she would care. And suddenly I feel tears stinging my eyes.  
  
Our past didn't matter at that moment. No. What mattered was that she'd come, that she was here to support her daughter.  
  
“She came.” I said quietly, realizing that Kyp had given me this gift, that he had made this possible. And words suddenly failed me. All that was important was how much I loved the man who had made all this possible.  
  
*  
  
The aisle was a thick white carpet that stretched several meters to a smaller pavilion under which Kyp patiently waited. Music, soft tones and a beautiful melody, was played by a three man band somewhere off the left of the guests. They guests stood, all as one and then they turned to regard me as I began walking.  
  
I smiled and tried not to trip over my feet. Wouldn't have surprised me in the least because hey, special event and all, why not make a damned fool out of myself? I've never liked being the center of attention and now dressed up like a Princess I felt strange, I felt open to the world. Luckily I made it without falling flat on my face or my butt. I ignored the looks and the awed whispers and instead cast my attention onto Kyp. His eyes shone brightly as he watched me and his smile with its boyish charm made my heart flutter.  
  
The music stopped. Anja took the bouquet of flowers and Kyp then linked his hands with mine. Soraya stepped up from her chair holding a thin white band embroidered with ancient words to bless the happy couple. She tied it loosely around our entwined hands and quietly spoke.  
  
“We are here as witnesses to this union.” As the eldest surviving member of Kyp's family, she was chosen to lead the ceremony. I met her eyes and I see happiness along with pride and gratefulness to be allowed to bless us in the name of her people.  
  
Kyp cleared his throat and squeezed my hand. I felt the beat of his heart through our bond, the little eddies of nervousness. But he spoke as if he didn't have a care in the world, he spoke as the person that he is. Truthful, upstanding and proud.  
  
“In the presence of our friends and family I make this vow. My dearest Eliziya.” He took a breath and smiled slightly, the kind of smile that was always my undoing. “You are my partner in life and my one true love. I take you to be my friend, my lover, the mother of my children. I will cherish our union and love you more each day than I did the day before.” He lifted our entwined hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles in succession. He took his time and I enjoyed every second of it, listening as the bracelet dangled from my wrist. “Five promises I make and five promises I shall keep until the day I take my very last breath.”  
  
He closed his eyes for just a moment. “I promise to love you unconditionally. No matter what, my feelings for you will never change. I promise to be faithful, my dearest Eliziya.” He tucked a strand of wayward hair behind my ear. “You are the only one for me, forever and always. I promise kindness and compassion, even in situations where you wouldn't expect it from me.” He smiled then because he knew how much his stubbornness could grate all the wrong nerves sometimes. “I promise to make you laugh whenever I can and I promise my support in everything you do.” He took a breath and continued. “I will trust you and I respect you. I will laugh with you and cry with you. I will love you through good times and bad, regardless of the obstacles we may face together. I give you my hand, my heart and my love, from this day forward as long as we both shall live.”  
  
I swallowed as tears welled and slowly ran down my cheek. In all my life no one has ever said anything this beautiful before. Not even remotely close. I was in total shock and I knew he sensed it. He smiled and made a little face. In a low whisper he said, “It's your turn, sweetheart.”  
  
I cleared my throat. “What can I say to you that I haven't already said? What can I give to you that I haven't already given? How can I look at you when you look at me like I'm the only one here? Why can I tell you everything that I can't tell anyone else? Why do you make me feel the way that I do?” I moistened my lips and sent a little prayer to whoever might here to make my beating heart quiet down a little. “There comes a time in everyone's life that all you can see are the years passing by and I've made up my mind that I want to spend those years with you. You walked into my life when I needed you the most. You've stayed with me through all these years. No matter what I do I will always carry you in my heart. Our memories will always make us smile and our laughs will never stop. I'll stay with you until the daylight dims and you'll hold me until the sun rises. I want to spend every moment I have with you. Through the ups and downs my decision is final. You've helped me out of the dark and broke down the door to my heart.” My voice quivered, my knees shook but I had only one last thing to say and I said it with conviction. “I love you.”  
  
He kissed me. It was a soft kiss but he deepened it just a moment later, lifting his free hand to touch my face. I replied in kind and our guests began to clap and cheer. A soft breeze brought along the salty tang of the sea as we parted and smiled at each other. There was a glint in his eyes and I knew that I made the right decision. I was truly looking forward to spending the rest of my life with this man, the rogue Jedi Master, who means the universe to me.  
  
*  
  
Nikk was the highlight of the party. It wasn't surprising in the least. He held a very funny speech about how Kyp and Nikk had gotten into trouble at the Academy, driving Master Skywalker nearly insane, how Nikk had never, ever, ever, ever believed that Kyp of all people would ever find a woman who'd willingly stay at his side and said woman didn't even have four arms. He made the guests laugh and Nikk made me realize that we were truly lucky and blessed to have such a great friend. Of course, Nikk wouldn't be Nikk if didn't end the speech saying something stupid.  
  
“A man is incomplete until he is married.” He lifted his glass filled with sparkling wine and smiled. “After that he's finished.” He winked at Kyp who laughed and squeezed my hand.  
  
While Kyp and I shook hands and held small talk with our guests, I was astounded that so many had come. When Kyp had proposed, I'd expected a small wedding but this was beyond what I'd imagined. It was even the decorations or the dress or the amazing cake Soraya had surprised us with – it was the fact that so many people cared about us and didn't want us to spend this special day alone.  
  
I took a deep, quivering breath and left Kyp to talk with Han and his uncle. My mother smiled as I approached her. I hadn't seen in her in several years and Gods..she'd aged so much. I felt a slight pang of guilt but then I remembered rather quickly what this woman had put me through and the anger I'd built up over the year returned. I didn't let it show.  
  
“Mother.” I said quietly, awkwardly.  
  
“Eliziya.” Her smile was radiant and it lit up her eyes. For a moment it felt like I was looking into a mirror of the future. I saw so much in her face that reminded me of myself. “You look stunning.” Hera placed her hands on my arms, which was the closest I'd ever gotten to a hug.  
  
“Thank you. I'm happy you're here. Although I am surprised.”  
  
“Well, your husband made quite a case when he called.”  
  
I glanced over my shoulder to where Kyp stood. Engrossed in his conversation with Han and Sol, he didn't notice me looking. “He asked you to come.” I said quietly. “He invited everyone.” I looked away and swallowed. I felt Hera's dark eyes on me and when I glanced back up to meet her gaze I was surprised to see a flash of fear. She was afraid of rejection and I suddenly had the feeling that she was searching for something. Perhaps redemption, forgiveness, peace.  
  
Kyp had found his family here. It was time for me to reunite with mine.  
  
For the first time in so many years, I laid my arms around my mother and hugged her tightly.  
  
***  
  
Eventually, I changed into a more comfortable dress because I couldn't dance with the skirt slipping underneath my feet all the time. I can't even stress how much I dislike dancing. I'm so bad at it and I knew I'd keep stepping on Kyp's toes. But he had a great idea – he danced with me standing on his feet from the get-go. I felt like a little girl again as Kyp spun around and I held on tightly. The rest of the evening went by in a flash. Friends and family danced and laughed and a few had a bit too much to drink but overall, it was the most wonderful day ever. I didn't want it to end but when it did I was the happiest person in the galaxy. And not to forget, I was Kyp Durron's wife.  
  
*  
  
“Where are we going?” I asked, stifling a yawn. Soraya had made sure that our guests were settled in the guesthouse and I had thought we'd be joining them but Kyp had planned something else. I followed him down a path to the beach in the dark, our only light source a brilliant white moon up ahead.  
  
The sound of the waves was soothing and the scent of saltwater brought along a sense of home.  
  
“I'm not about to spend my wedding night in a guesthouse.” Kyp said, gripping my hand as he led the way to wherever it was he was headed. Several minutes passed in which he sometimes stopped just to kiss me or to goof around but eventually he led me to a small section of the beach where he'd put up a pavilion and underneath a thick blanket. I saw a picnic basket, a bottle of wine and a whole lot of space for the two of us to cuddle up.  
  
“This is amazing, Kyp.” I said as he encircled my waist with his arms. My back against his chest, I turned towards the ocean. So vast and so beautiful, endless freedom. I lifted my head and Kyp lowered his lips to mine.  
  
“This is all for you, my love.” He said against my lips. “All for you.”  
  
The wind swept his hair away and I used the moment to kiss him. Several minutes passed as we stood there holding each other without a care in the world. Kyp slid his hands to my slightly rounded belly and closed his eyes. The Force all around us flickered as he reached out to the unborn child with his senses. “His heart is strong.” He whispered.   
I sighed, content. Together we were heading towards an unknown future yet side by side, hand in hand and with a beautiful boy on the way, I knew that nothing – absolutely nothing – was ever going to tear us apart.  
  
We were a family now.  
I couldn't have been happier. 


End file.
